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Hear ye, hear ye, I cometh announcing SCP-049 be a fine specimen of bitch arse motherfucker, he showeth visions of fucking cum inflation in the middle school library, he took his crusty iPod touch out and he showed me fucking Changed animations, he sayeth "Ashes, ashes" sayeth I that's just a fucking David Bowie song, thus I maketh this callout post on my deviantart dot com: SCP-049, thy faith is feeble, it be as approximate the size of a walnut except far smaller, and guess what, here's what mine faith measure in proportion--PFFT, THAT'S RIGHT, BABY, IF IN DEATH LAY YE AN AETERNITY BY TIME'S PASSING YE MORTALITY TOO SHALL BE UNMADE. Thou must be beholden to my extreme remedy--it looks like two fat nuts, and a bong! He stole my fucking officially licensed Phineas & Ferb Perry the Platypus shaped eraser so guess what? Mine seed shall sweep the earth THAT'S RIGHT THIS IS WHAT YOU GET, MY SUPER LASER PISS! Yet my will grows towering so shall the ethereal plow be jousted into the heavens deep, I'M PISSING ON THE MOON! HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT, JFK? I PISSED ON THE MOON YOU IDIOT! THINE HOURS DWINDLE, BUT YET ONE DAY REMAINS BEFORE MINE GLISTENING PISS DRRRROPLETS HIT THE FUCKING EARTH NOW GET OUT OF MY SIGHT BEFORE I PISS ON YOU TOO

Description
Hear ye, hear ye, I cometh announcing SCP-049 be a fine specimen of bitch arse motherfucker, he showeth visions of fucking cum inflation in the middle school library, he took his crusty iPod touch out and he showed me fucking Changed animations, he sayeth "Ashes, ashes" sayeth I that's just a fucking David Bowie song, thus I maketh this callout post on my deviantart dot com: SCP-049, thy faith is feeble, it be as approximate the size of a walnut except far smaller, and guess what, here's what mine faith measure in proportion--PFFT, THAT'S RIGHT, BABY, IF IN DEATH LAY YE AN AETERNITY BY TIME'S PASSING YE MORTALITY TOO SHALL BE UNMADE. Thou must be beholden to my extreme remedy--it looks like two fat nuts, and a bong! He stole my fucking officially licensed Phineas & Ferb Perry the Platypus shaped eraser so guess what? Mine seed shall sweep the earth THAT'S RIGHT THIS IS WHAT YOU GET, MY SUPER LASER PISS! Yet my will grows towering so shall the ethereal plow be jousted into the heavens deep, I'M PISSING ON THE MOON! HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT, JFK? I PISSED ON THE MOON YOU IDIOT! THINE HOURS DWINDLE, BUT YET ONE DAY REMAINS BEFORE MINE GLISTENING PISS DRRRROPLETS HIT THE FUCKING EARTH NOW GET OUT OF MY SIGHT BEFORE I PISS ON YOU TOO