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Grumpy-TG — A Helpful Flowchart!
#flowchart #tg #trans #transformation #tgtf #transpositive #genderidentity #transgender #nonbinary
Published: 2020-08-18 15:58:25 +0000 UTC; Views: 315930; Favourites: 1568; Downloads: 311
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Description
This flowchart is not for everyone, and may not apply to you!my goal here is to provide some insight into why you might be interested in TG based on my own experiences and some of the experiences of those close to me.
Please feel free to provide any feedback you see fit, and I really hope that this is useful for at least some of the people who find themselves on my page.
Never settle for anything less then yourselves.
Cheers!
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Alright, strap in folks. This is gonna be a long one...
If I'm being honest, I don't really remember how I joined the TG community, but I know for a fact that I stayed for five years as a result of uncontrollable hormones. I feel like crap about it now, especially because to this day, I still feel a sense of arousal when I consider the concept of a man turning into a woman. Be that as it may, that didn't remain the sole reason for very long; in fact, it was overshadowed. As time went along, I became more and more invested in TG stories that felt genuine and strayed away from basic captions that appeared to be oversexualized.
I became obsessed with these genuine and interesting stories, so much so in fact, that I began to create my own distinguished and complex characters in part for various TG stories that I unfortunately never followed through on, but also for stories that had no connection to the TG community. These characters were initially created for the RP community, but it didn't take long for them to make the transition into life-long projects that I hope to show to the world one day.
I had never really put much thought into why I was so fascinated by this concept. During this time, I always carried fleeting fantasies of becoming a woman myself, but I always pushed them off to the back of my mind, even so far as to ignore what I now realize were fairly obvious signs of my gender dysphoria. Among these were the facts that I always, ALWAYS chose a female character to represent myself in video games if it was possible and that I always felt disillusioned in one way or another towards activities/personality traits that are commonly associated with men. I just kept telling myself I was a guy, and that was it. I moved on with my day.
That was, of course, until recently.
About a week or two ago, I was tasked by my theatre director with creating a play to be submitted to a writing competition. Given my intense musical background, I chose to write a story about a violist who has been struggling to find affirmation and happiness. She has a strong admiration for other musicians in her symphony, but they constantly try to pressure her into following in their footsteps. Well, surprise surprise! At the end of the play, she finally chooses to listen to what feels right for HER, leaving the symphony and going out to create her own music.
This play, of which I'm still in the process of writing btw, is basically centered around a complete and utter replica of myself. The only thing is... This replica is a woman. I remember questioning my decision to make the character a woman for some time, even finding myself appalled at the thought of switching the gender to match my actual biological sex. It just didn't feel right to me, and I couldn't understand why. I found myself debating internally about who I was and why I suddenly felt so confused about my own gender. It all came to a head when I looked into the bathroom mirror late one night.
And within it, I saw a woman...
I won't bore you with any more details (especially because I'm only now realizing how much I've written) but since that night where I became fully aware of my dysphoria, I've begun to experiment with various aspects of my gender identity and have even reached out to a very close friend of mine; he has been a tremendous help in helping me understand everything I have been experiencing. I'm still figuring out precisely who I am in regards to gender, but the more I've experimented with portraying myself as a woman, the happier I have felt.
P.S. Take this as you will, but one thing I've noticed about my dysphoria is that it "seems" to go away when I go into a state of hyperfocus, primarily in regards to music and storytelling. I've explained it away internally, but the easiest way I can explain it in words is that in these moments where I am creating music and stories, I do not exist, in a sense. Instead, there is only that art.
TL;DR The TG community, while not necessarily the catalyst, has played quite possibly the biggest role in helping me discover my true self...
Thank you for coming to my TED Talk
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