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The scene opens on a small café. A dark-haired girl sits contently, legs crossed and hardback copy of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest in hand. She is dressed smartly, in dark pants and a blazer that make her skin seem even paler. A steaming cup of tea with a bag draped over its rim sit on the table in front of her. The door swings open, and a lanky, bed-headed boy with glasses strides in behind a shorter girl's springy steps. They take a seat at the awaiting girl's table.

Darby: Oh, hey guys. *closes her book* How's it going?

Valerie: Great!

Bennet: Fine, I guess.

Darby: Oh, that's good. *a pause* So, you want me to get you something? *gestures towards the counter*

Valerie: Nah, that's ok. I'm not--

Bennet: I've got it. *stands up and takes out his wallet*

Valerie: Aw, that's sweet of you, Benny. Can I have a hot chocolate?

Bennet: *muttering* Sure. *shuffles towards the counter*

Darby: ...Is he ok? He seems even grouchier than usual.

Valerie: Oh, he's just mad because he was in the middle of a really big art project when we had to leave. I told him yesterday, but he can't just stop working for five seconds to go and not be a hermit and have friends...*sigh* I mean, I get it, but he's always so stressed out! Love him anyway, though.

Bennet: Glad to see you're not kicking me out just yet. *places a mug in front of Valerie and one in front of himself*

Valerie: *laughs* No, not planning on doing that any time soon. *pecks him on the cheek*

Bennet: *freezes, a little pink*

Darby: *smiles, because she created this adorable pair and has the sudden urge to quote Tamaki Suoh* "May this awkward couple be forever blessed!" *gestures broadly*

Bennet: Ugh, don't remind me...

Valerie: Awkward? *Glances from Bennet to Darby* Yup, that's about right.

Darby: Anyway, enough stating the obvious. I did call you here on something semi-business related.

Bennet: And that would be?

Darby: *nervously* Well, a friend of mine had these conversations with her OC's, a-and it seemed like a good character-research tool, so I have some interview questions for you. *giggles shakily*

Valerie: Cool, an interview! I've never been interviewed before.

Bennet: *grunts*

Valerie: What kind of questions are you asking us?

Darby: It's just the Proust Questionnaire. That one that's always in the back of Vanity Fair.

Valerie: Oh, that one.

Bennet: You read Vanity Fair?

Valerie: No, but Mom always did. I'd peek in them every now and then.

Bennet: Huh. Learn something new every day, I guess.

Darby: Ready? *takes out yellow notepad and clicks her pen*

Valerie: Yup!

Bennet: Mhmm. *nods*

Darby: What do you consider your greatest achievement?

Valerie: *purses her lips in contemplation* I guess...my greatest achievement...

Bennet: Getting into college and majoring in cartography. So far.

Darby: *scribbling out a mistake* You have further plans, Bennet?

Bennet: Yeah. If that's the greatest thing I do, I'll be really depressed once I'm an old man.

Darby: *giggles softly* Valerie?

Valerie: Hmm...I don't know yet. I think my greatest achievement is just living and doing ok so far.

Darby: I see. Alright, what is your idea of perfect happiness?

Valerie: Being surrounded by the people I love and eating good food.

Darby: Like Thanksgiving?

Valerie: *Smiles brightly* Yup, like that.

Bennet: Mine is having everything done and out of the way.

Valerie: That's a lie and you know it! If you had everything done, you'd find some way to be busy again.

Bennet: ...Fine. My idea of perfect happiness is only doing the work I enjoy doing. And not living in a crappy apartment.

Darby: Paaaart...ment. What is your current state of mind?

Valerie: Happy.

Bennet: Absent.

Darby: Absent?

Bennet: My mind's back home with my art project.

Darby: Believe me, I know the feeling. What is your favorite occupation?

Valerie: Traveler!

Bennet: Artist.

Darby: What is your most treasured possession?

Valerie: Uh...

Bennet: Maybe my glasses, since I'm blind.

Valerie: Oh right, my suitcase. I'd be totally lost without it. And all the maps that Benny gave me.

Darby: *chuckles* True, true. You have to answer correctly on this one. What or who is the greatest love of your life?

Valerie: This guy. *leans against Bennet's arm*

Bennet: This girl. *puts his hand on Valerie's shoulder* And cartography.

Valerie: And exploring new things.

Bennet: That's for her, not me.

Darby: I did say or, you know. What is your favorite journey?

Valerie: What, you want me to pick just one?

Bennet: How about that trip to Charleston?

Valerie: Yeah, that one was nice, but it was almost too nice, you know? A little bit of discomfort makes it all the more memorable.

Darby: How about I just put Bennet's as Charleston and yours as all of them, Valerie?

Valerie: Ok!

Darby: Aaaaalright. What is your most marked characteristic?

Bennet: Physical or personality trait?

Darby: Either, I guess.

Valerie: My hair. *ruffles it*

Darby: I love the hair, by the way.

Valerie: Thank you!

Bennet: ...my awkwardness, apparently.

Valerie: *giggles* Yup, definitely.

Darby: Hey, that's mine too! No shame in that, Bennet. When and where were you happiest?

Valerie: Um...probably with Bennet in Vienna.

Bennet: We were broke, jet-lagged, and couldn't speak any German. At all.

Valerie: True, but we were free! No duties, no deadlines, only basic human needs. It was amazing! And almost everyone we talked to had excellent English.

Bennet: Alright, I did have a little fun. *defensively* But only because it was Vienna and it was so new to me!

Valerie: Suuuuuure.

Darby: I'll just put Vienna for both of you. That was this January, right?

Bennet: Yeah, New Year's Day.

Darby: Ok, what is it that you most dislike?

Valerie: Boredom.

Bennet: Being trapped.

Darby: How so?

Bennet: Being told what to do, having stupid rules I didn't agree to. That kind of trapped.

Darby: Ugh, that's the worst. What is your greatest fear?

Bennet: Huh...

Valerie: If I had to guess for you, I'd say becoming a slave.

Bennet: *shudders* Yeah, that.

Valerie: For me, I guess losing the ones I love the most.

Darby: Good fears. What is your greatest extravagance?

Bennet: Valerie's dates.

Valerie: Hey!

Bennet: Hey, hey, I like doing them with you. But technically, they are an extravagance.

Valerie: Fine...

Darby: And yours, Val?

Valerie: Probably my chocolate. I love it and eat it every week, a big bar of the super-dark stuff.

Darby: Love dark chocolate. Ooh, which living person do you most despise?

Valerie: Ugh, that one TSA lady who took her job way too seriously.

Bennet: She was just telling you to take your shoes off.

Valerie: Telling? She screamed it at me! Very, very loudly!

Bennet: No use despising strangers when you'll never see them again.

Valerie: Oh, so you don't hate anyone?

Bennet: I don't hate anybody in particular. I just loathe society.

Darby: *laughs* Your greatest regret?

Valerie: Hm, leaving home as soon as I did. I was kind of thinking selfishly, and Mom's always going on about how much she misses me.

Bennet: Mine...not loving my dad enough.

Darby: *hmms* I'm sorry. Moving on. Which talent would you most like to have?

Valerie: I can't play sports for the life of me, so uh...what's the word?

Bennet: Coordination?

Valerie: Coordination.

Bennet: I'd love to be able to be social. That would help so much.

Darby: I need both...where would you like to live?

Bennet: Somewhere quiet. Mountains, maybe.

Valerie: I need somewhere closer to civilization.

Darby: I already see a bit of a problem here. *chuckles* What do you regard as the lowest depths of misery?

Valerie: Isn't Hell the lowest depths of misery?

Bennet: I say being a slave to a cruel master and surrounded by yipping dogs. And it's miserably hot.

Darby: Neither place seems pleasant. What is the quality you most like in a man?

Valerie: Ooh, strength.

Bennet: *inspects his biceps* Well, I won't be around much longer after all.

Valerie: No, no, mental strength! Physical, I could care less. But he's got to be independent and smart.

Bennet: ...Maybe I'm safe, then.

Valerie: Of course you are! *hugs*

Darby: Aww. And you, Bennet? What's the most desirable quality a man can have?

Bennet: A sense of humor, I guess. That's important.

Darby: That it is. And how about desirable quality in a woman?

Bennet: Kindness.

Valerie: Same here. If she's not nice, then how could we ever get along?

Darby: Frankly, Bennet doesn't seem very nice at first.

Bennet: Hey!

Valerie: He does have a soft spot, it's just hidden under a grumpy, stone exterior.

Bennet: Girls are mean...

This sends Valerie and Darby into a fit of laughter. Once they recover, the interview proceeds.

Darby: What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?

Valerie: Probably my feet. They're just too small.

Bennet: Your feet are perfectly fine.

Valerie: Size five. Five!

Bennet: They are just feet, Valerie.

Valerie: Says Mr. Size Twelve over here...

Bennet: *sigh* I hate my coldness.

Darby: Aw, but it's rather endearing. What is the trait you most deplore in others?

Valerie: Cruelty.

Bennet: Rage.

Darby: Me too, hate those. What do you most value in your friends?

Valerie: Their company! I just like all of my friends to be around because they all bring something different.

Bennet: Uh...what are these friends you speak of?

Valerie: *laughs* You have friends, Benny!

Bennet: Yeah, three good ones. Maybe two.

Valerie: But you like them because...?

Bennet: They are ok with me?

Darby: So Valerie, company, Bennet, tolerance?

Bennet: Sure.

Valerie: *sigh*

Darby: My favorite question! Who is your favorite hero of fiction?

Valerie: Ooh, I know! Mine i--

Bennet: Odysseus.

Valerie: Yes!

Bennet: I think my favorite is Sherlock Holmes.

Darby: He's mine, too! Ah, Sherl...word to the wise: do not get me talking about him. Who are your heroes in real life?

Valerie: My mom. She's so sweet, but gets stuff done.

Bennet: Probably Thomas Jefferson.

Darby: How about living person you most admire?

Bennet: Does it have to be living?

Darby: Yes, it has to be someone on the earth today, Bennet.

Valerie: Uh...the people in the military, I guess.

Bennet: ...I like her answer. Can I have it, too?

Darby: *laughs* Yes, you can both say military. What do you consider the most overrated virtue?

Valerie: Prudence.

Darby: Really, why?

Valerie: To quote, "Well behaved women rarely make history."

Darby: I love that quote too much for being a scaredy-cat goody-two-shoes. You, Bennet?

Bennet: No virtue is overrated.

Darby: On what occasions do you lie?

Bennet: When I'm in trouble.

Valerie: Never, I say exactly what I mean.

Darby: Never is a bit of a strong word.

Valerie: Well...I try.

Darby: *smirks* Interesting. Which words or phrases do you most overuse?

Valerie: Probably yup.

Bennet: Mine is I guess.

Darby: If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

Bennet: My awkwardness.

Valerie: No, your awkwardness is so cute!

Bennet: I don't want to be cute! *turns a little red*

Valerie: *giggles* I'd change my shortness. I'd love to be taller.

Darby: No shame in being short. What are your favorite names?

Valerie: I like the name Ryan.

Bennet: Hm, Allistor and Benedict are good.

Valerie: You, with your old-fashioned names.

Bennet: Yes, me with my old-fashioned names.

Darby: Don't condone them, now. Bennet, Valerie, how. Would you like to die?

Bennet: Is that a threat?

Jovial mirth, jovial mirth, jovial mirth.

Bennet: But seriously now, I want to die whenever I have nothing else to do with myself.

Valerie: I want to die of old age. Or doing something amazing.

Darby: If you were to die and come back as a person or thing, who or what would it be?

Bennet: Uh...an old history professor.

Valerie: I'd come back as some sort of animal that migrates.

Bennet: I could see you as a bird.

Valerie: Yeah, a bird.

Darby: Last question.

Valerie: Aw, so soon?

Darby: What is your motto?

Bennet: "Live simply so others can simply live."

Valerie: I like that one, who said it?

Bennet: Gandhi.

Valerie: Well, I can't beat that one...oh wait, I know. "Just do."

Darby: Very subtle. Who said that one?

Valerie: Me.

Bennet: *slowly smiles* Not bad, Val. You say a lot in two words.

Valerie: *smiles brightly* Thank you, Benny.

Darby: *closes notepad and clips pen back into place* Well, that's all I have. Thanks a lot, guys!

Bennet: No problem. Now, art project...

Valerie: *laughs, standing up* Do you ever stop working?

Bennet: Yeah.

Valerie: When?

Bennet: When I need to be interviewed by our author.

The trio erupts into warm laughter as the scene fades to white.