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Description
It wells inside, ready to burst. Anger, hatred, pain. It wont go away. Each day it builds and stacks. It reaches the sky and topples, crushing me, preventing movement. I am helpless, I can not do it alone and no one will stand by me anymore. The one who would help is dead and gone and pain burns through my chest at her memory. I am surrounded by harsh reality, and I can not escape anymore. I have no safe haven, and that makes it worst. my haven died when I came back. I struggle to keep aloft. I always had that escape, but no more, it has been crushed like the rest of me and makes no stirring. I know it is gone, and I know it wont come back any time soon, and that frightens me. I do not want to face the world and its pressures alone, I have never been alone in that sense. I have felt alone, but I always knew I could rely upon my gift to help ease the pain and suffering. I don't think I can do this anymore. I don't think I have the willpower. The determination. Anything. It is all gone. It has drained away like everything in this place. There is no colour left in my mind to paint the world how I want to see it. There is naught but grey fog, it clouds everything and leaves a darkness hanging over me that no light will shift. All I want is to be what I was. I want to go back and save myself, but it is impossible. I am stuck with today, and worried about tomorrow. I cannot cry for it does no good. I cannot fight it does more damage then good. I can not run for it follows. I can not escape. All I want is to be normal. All I want is to be free. All I want is the colours that made the world so bright before. I do not understand why they have gone. I do not understand why others abandon me, I do not understand anymore. I don't ask for gold or precious stone. I don't ask for riches and luxuries. All I want is to be me again. I do not know what I have become. I do not know what will happen anymore. I am alone. I have lost myself, and I do not know where to look to find myself again.

Description
It wells inside, ready to burst. Anger, hatred, pain. It wont go away. Each day it builds and stacks. It reaches the sky and topples, crushing me, preventing movement. I am helpless, I can not do it alone and no one will stand by me anymore. The one who would help is dead and gone and pain burns through my chest at her memory. I am surrounded by harsh reality, and I can not escape anymore. I have no safe haven, and that makes it worst. my haven died when I came back. I struggle to keep aloft. I always had that escape, but no more, it has been crushed like the rest of me and makes no stirring. I know it is gone, and I know it wont come back any time soon, and that frightens me. I do not want to face the world and its pressures alone, I have never been alone in that sense. I have felt alone, but I always knew I could rely upon my gift to help ease the pain and suffering. I don't think I can do this anymore. I don't think I have the willpower. The determination. Anything. It is all gone. It has drained away like everything in this place. There is no colour left in my mind to paint the world how I want to see it. There is naught but grey fog, it clouds everything and leaves a darkness hanging over me that no light will shift. All I want is to be what I was. I want to go back and save myself, but it is impossible. I am stuck with today, and worried about tomorrow. I cannot cry for it does no good. I cannot fight it does more damage then good. I can not run for it follows. I can not escape. All I want is to be normal. All I want is to be free. All I want is the colours that made the world so bright before. I do not understand why they have gone. I do not understand why others abandon me, I do not understand anymore. I don't ask for gold or precious stone. I don't ask for riches and luxuries. All I want is to be me again. I do not know what I have become. I do not know what will happen anymore. I am alone. I have lost myself, and I do not know where to look to find myself again.