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So my friend had an idea because of the fact that I don't like my own writing very much, and that was 'Because you like cinema sins and cinema wins and stuff, why don't you do a similar thing where you write everything good about your pieces?'
Now my immediate reaction as 'can I just do the bad things?' but they rejected that and told me to write the good things. I thought I'd give it a go with a series you guys seemed to like on Deviantart and also on my Ao3, so here it is.

This is purely an exercise, im not a massive fan of my own work and this is supposed to help. I've always been pretty good at analysing things and I will be following the same pathway that Cinema wins/Sins use to talk about films they enjoy/don't like. I will also be doing a couple snippets of what is bad writing in it as well, just for funsies.

So yeah, here we go... I don't know if this will receive a good reception, but let me know if you like this idea and ill do ti for some other stories as well, just so I can get my confidence up and so I have a new series idea I know you guys will enjoy! (I could also do toher peoples stories if you guys want them analysing?)

Story text
My text

Everything Great About -
Something's Not Quite Right
Spoilers
(Duh)
Prologue
"Right guys, I think it's best we leave it there for now..." Lewis spoke into his microphone.

Quickly setting up the storyline and scenario without giving away too much, best to keep it simple.

"Aww, it feels like we only just started." Paul answered through mumble.
"Better work bitch." Simon joined in and everyone laughed.

Including references fans will get, while at the same time introducing the characters that are in the scene without throwing it into your face.

"Its now officially a thing apparently." Duncan chirped up. "Ah shit!" He exclaimed and a few seconds later a message popped up in chat.
-Lividcoffee fell out of the world-
Everyone laughed once again. "Right guys, see you all next time on whale lords! Byeeee~" Lewis closed off, and once everyone said their farewells, they all began to log off of minecraft.

Setting up the fact that Lewis is the boss of the group in the earliest scene, and suggesting everyone's personality.
-Honeydew left the game-
-Sjin left the game-
-Sips_ left the game-
-Lividcoffee left the game-

Subliminally leaving off a mentioned character that the audience probably won't realise happens until after the first conflict happens.
"Right guys, should we get some food?" Duncan asked.
"Sure!" Paul answered.
"I could get some food, meet you guys at the stairwell." Simon finished.

Planning with friends

"You guys go ahead, I'm just gonna finish off some stuff here." Lewis said.

Immediately showing the difference between recording Lewis and IRL Lewis.

Simon raised an eyebrow to himself and made his way down the corridor, attempting to open his friends door. It was locked. He then made his way back to his room and put his headset back on.
"Lewis why is your door locked?" He asked.
"Wanting some privacy. What's wrong with that? Look if you guys are hungry go get some food and I'll be down soon, if not then don't wait up." The raven haired man responded.
Simon wasn't convinced, he logged back onto minecraft.

Caring for your friends? It also shows how close Lewis and Simon are because Simon realises something's 'not quite right'? Im sorry.
-Honeydew joined the game-

Change of way the information is conveyed across to the audience to add some diversity.
Xephos - I said I wanted some privacy Simon...
Honeydew - Just come have lunch with us mate
Xephos - no Simon, I have some stff to do. You guys go ahead.

Intentionally spelling wrong to show this is the characters typing and mistakes are bound to happen when not proof reading.
"Simon are you coming?" Duncan's voice came from the corridor.
"Yep!" He answered.
Honeydew - you doing ok mate?
Xephos - I'm fine simon. Just leave me alone for a while.
Honeydew - alright...
-Honeydew left the game-

Respecting your friends privacy!
"Ready to go?" Chris asked as Simon walked over. He nodded and they made their way to five guys.

Using real life names to differentiate from online personas, even though some of the IRL people don't go by their real names a lot of the time.
------------
They sat down with their burgers, back in the common room.
"I'm telling you, something's not quiet right with him at the moment." Simon said.

Rrrroll credits!

"He's right, Lewis has been locking himself in his room, taking over random recording slots that belong to other people..." Duncan chimed in.
"So he's being Lewis?" Chris said, smirking. Paul chuckled.

Attempting to add humour into the mix to lighten a bad situation, also character continuity, as these two wouldn't be as worried, or if they were they would hide it, even when the audience isn't watching.

"He's just been really distant, we don't really know what's up with him." Duncan continued, ignoring the other two. They were gonna joke around regardless of the situation.
"Its getting to the point where we can't really leave him to it anymore..." Simon said.
------------
Xephos - were alone.
Dark - good. Just like we agreed.

Introduction of the main antagonist without giving us too much information (or any), which sets up the ominous feel and the amount of mystery keeps the audience wanting to know more.
Xephos - what do you want exactly, what do you get from this situation?
Dark - I know you've noticed my people. I've clearly got you scared.

A small amount of sub context to add more of a chill to the character, who are these people? Who is 'Dark'? Sets up the main questions in the series in the first chapter, and because they are smaller, very mysterious questions, it sets up for more questions to be asked in the future. Also doesn't follow the same trope of giving too much detailing on the 'bad guy' straight away, which makes it feel different and adds even more mystery.
Xephos - do what you want to me. Just don't harm my friends. I don't know how you'd be able to do that but you've made it pretty obvious you can get to me.

Looking out for/protecting your friends!
Dark - I know how much you care for your friends. You wouldn't want to hurt them by being a sarcastic bastard would you?

A small nod to the future chapters with these small hints to Dark really not liking Lewis's jokes or sarcasm. At first we don't see a lot come of it, but in future parts we see a lot of retribution for Dark. This is a small nod to what is coming and it sets it up well for people who want to reread it.
Xephos - you can't do that. Hurt me not them.

Self sacrifice? Putting friends before yourself... are we sure Lewis isn't a Hufflepuff?
-Lividcoffee joined the game-
Lividcoffee - what's going on Lewis?
Xephos - nothing.
Lividcoffee - what u doing? Where are you? You're not on the whale?
Xephos - duncan. leave me lone.
Lividcoffee - but why?

Curiosity
{Dark (whispers) - better get going Lewis. Times ticking down, your friends are getting suspicious}

Knowing Lewis can't answer and still attempting to aggravate him.
Xephos - duncan just go away.
Lividcoffee - when are you gonna come out of your room...? Were worried about you man.

Honesty
Xephos - just go! For gods sake!
-honeydew joined the game-
Honeydew - you guys ok?
Lividcoffee - Lewis is being weird again.

Even more honesty
Honeydew - lewis buddy what's going on?

Xephos - nothing! Just leave me alone! God...

Bringing in your personal way of talking into your text to show annoyance.
-Rythian joined the game-
Rythian - hey guys
Honeydew - hey Rythian
Lividcoffee - Rythian! Will you please tell him that his moaping around and general depressed attitude won't solve anything?
Rythian - who's depressed? Simon?
Honeydew - no, lewis.
Xephos - I'm not friggin depressd!
-Sjin joined the game-
-Sips_ joined the game-
Sips_ - hey benders.

Sticking to character for Sips, seen as he would continue to be the joker of the group and would probably greet his friends like this whether through minecraft or IRL.
Sjin - what's going on? Is lewis still being depressed?

Showing your friends know you better than you think!
Xephos - I don't have time for this guys... Just leave me alone...
Honeydew - were all worried about you... Please just come out of your room.
Xephos - if you leave me alone for like five fucking minutes I will!
There was a moments silence. Lewis was getting angry.

You wouldn't like Lewis when he's angry...
Lividcoffee - just tell us what's wrong!
Xephos - for god sake!
Rythian - yeah were here for you! You can trst us.
Xephos - just piss off...
-Xephos left the game-
Honeydew - ...shit...

A sense of humour despite the situation, this is the Yogscast after all!
Everyone decided to leave their computers and go back to the common room.
"Is he still in there?" Simon asked as he walked to the door.
"Yep." Chris answered, sipping a drink.
"For god sake..." Simon groaned and walked down the corridor to Lewis' room. He rapped on the door. No answer. "Lewis." He said firmly.
"Leave me alone, Simon!" The raven haired mans voice came back.
"Just come out! You've been locking yourself in there! We just want to make sure you're ok!"
"You can make sure I'm ok by leaving me the fuck alone!" There was a loud thump on the door. And then silence.
Simon stared at the door for a moment before sighing and walking back to the common room.

Respecting your friends privacy despite being worried, it's that mix of wanting to help but not knowing how because you have limited information in the first place, all you know is something's wrong and that's it. So while Simon wants to help, his best option at this time is to see how things unfold.

------------
"Night Simon." Paul said, waving and then walking out.
"Night Sjin." He answered, yawning and standing up. He stretched and then made his way to the door. He looked back, turning the light off and noticing that there was still one light left. It was coming from Lewis' room. It must be from his lamp... Simon shook his head and left the building.
He would leave his friend to his own devices for now.

Again, respecting your friends privacy, despite wanting to help.

Lewis saw the light outside his room flick off, meaning that everyone had left the offices. He sighed and stood, pulling his jacket on and then wrapping his scarf round his neck, grabbing his phone and walking to the common room.

Establishing what month or time a year it is without stating it out right.

He grabbed a bottle of gin and didn't bother to get a glass. He downed some of it, before putting the bottle down and then walking to the door, locking up, and then heading home.

Continuity with real life? We all know Lewis likes to drink his gin. With the immanent threat it would be true, he wouldn't get full out drunk but something to take the edge off fits his character. Plus with the cold month he may just want something to warm him up? Either way it fits the character and shows us a possible path Lewis may head down in the future of this story.

On the way back the alcohol began to set in, he could feel the lightness in this head. It was fairly soothing.
He sighed and put his hands in his pockets, making his way towards his flat. His journey began to slow as the alcohol settled itself down in his head.

Relaxing, showing how wound up he way to have to go to alcohol.

He sighed again, and stumbled up the driveway to his flat. At the last moment he looked back over his shoulder, seeing a black shadow standing perched on the corner of the street he had just come through. He quickly went inside, closing the door behind him.

Setting up another side to the bad guy(s), and also setting up a small cliff-hanger, that doesn't annoy the audience while still setting up suspense that makes the audience want to come back and read the next part. While it's a fairly well used trait in writing now days, it really pinpoints the audience that like the suspense and brings them back fro the characters and then the storyline in general, despite genre.

Description
body div#devskin0 hr { }

So my friend had an idea because of the fact that I don't like my own writing very much, and that was 'Because you like cinema sins and cinema wins and stuff, why don't you do a similar thing where you write everything good about your pieces?'
Now my immediate reaction as 'can I just do the bad things?' but they rejected that and told me to write the good things. I thought I'd give it a go with a series you guys seemed to like on Deviantart and also on my Ao3, so here it is.

This is purely an exercise, im not a massive fan of my own work and this is supposed to help. I've always been pretty good at analysing things and I will be following the same pathway that Cinema wins/Sins use to talk about films they enjoy/don't like. I will also be doing a couple snippets of what is bad writing in it as well, just for funsies.

So yeah, here we go... I don't know if this will receive a good reception, but let me know if you like this idea and ill do ti for some other stories as well, just so I can get my confidence up and so I have a new series idea I know you guys will enjoy! (I could also do toher peoples stories if you guys want them analysing?)

Story text
My text

Everything Great About -
Something's Not Quite Right
Spoilers
(Duh)
Prologue
"Right guys, I think it's best we leave it there for now..." Lewis spoke into his microphone.

Quickly setting up the storyline and scenario without giving away too much, best to keep it simple.

"Aww, it feels like we only just started." Paul answered through mumble.
"Better work bitch." Simon joined in and everyone laughed.

Including references fans will get, while at the same time introducing the characters that are in the scene without throwing it into your face.

"Its now officially a thing apparently." Duncan chirped up. "Ah shit!" He exclaimed and a few seconds later a message popped up in chat.
-Lividcoffee fell out of the world-
Everyone laughed once again. "Right guys, see you all next time on whale lords! Byeeee~" Lewis closed off, and once everyone said their farewells, they all began to log off of minecraft.

Setting up the fact that Lewis is the boss of the group in the earliest scene, and suggesting everyone's personality.
-Honeydew left the game-
-Sjin left the game-
-Sips_ left the game-
-Lividcoffee left the game-

Subliminally leaving off a mentioned character that the audience probably won't realise happens until after the first conflict happens.
"Right guys, should we get some food?" Duncan asked.
"Sure!" Paul answered.
"I could get some food, meet you guys at the stairwell." Simon finished.

Planning with friends

"You guys go ahead, I'm just gonna finish off some stuff here." Lewis said.

Immediately showing the difference between recording Lewis and IRL Lewis.

Simon raised an eyebrow to himself and made his way down the corridor, attempting to open his friends door. It was locked. He then made his way back to his room and put his headset back on.
"Lewis why is your door locked?" He asked.
"Wanting some privacy. What's wrong with that? Look if you guys are hungry go get some food and I'll be down soon, if not then don't wait up." The raven haired man responded.
Simon wasn't convinced, he logged back onto minecraft.

Caring for your friends? It also shows how close Lewis and Simon are because Simon realises something's 'not quite right'? Im sorry.
-Honeydew joined the game-

Change of way the information is conveyed across to the audience to add some diversity.
Xephos - I said I wanted some privacy Simon...
Honeydew - Just come have lunch with us mate
Xephos - no Simon, I have some stff to do. You guys go ahead.

Intentionally spelling wrong to show this is the characters typing and mistakes are bound to happen when not proof reading.
"Simon are you coming?" Duncan's voice came from the corridor.
"Yep!" He answered.
Honeydew - you doing ok mate?
Xephos - I'm fine simon. Just leave me alone for a while.
Honeydew - alright...
-Honeydew left the game-

Respecting your friends privacy!
"Ready to go?" Chris asked as Simon walked over. He nodded and they made their way to five guys.

Using real life names to differentiate from online personas, even though some of the IRL people don't go by their real names a lot of the time.
------------
They sat down with their burgers, back in the common room.
"I'm telling you, something's not quiet right with him at the moment." Simon said.

Rrrroll credits!

"He's right, Lewis has been locking himself in his room, taking over random recording slots that belong to other people..." Duncan chimed in.
"So he's being Lewis?" Chris said, smirking. Paul chuckled.

Attempting to add humour into the mix to lighten a bad situation, also character continuity, as these two wouldn't be as worried, or if they were they would hide it, even when the audience isn't watching.

"He's just been really distant, we don't really know what's up with him." Duncan continued, ignoring the other two. They were gonna joke around regardless of the situation.
"Its getting to the point where we can't really leave him to it anymore..." Simon said.
------------
Xephos - were alone.
Dark - good. Just like we agreed.

Introduction of the main antagonist without giving us too much information (or any), which sets up the ominous feel and the amount of mystery keeps the audience wanting to know more.
Xephos - what do you want exactly, what do you get from this situation?
Dark - I know you've noticed my people. I've clearly got you scared.

A small amount of sub context to add more of a chill to the character, who are these people? Who is 'Dark'? Sets up the main questions in the series in the first chapter, and because they are smaller, very mysterious questions, it sets up for more questions to be asked in the future. Also doesn't follow the same trope of giving too much detailing on the 'bad guy' straight away, which makes it feel different and adds even more mystery.
Xephos - do what you want to me. Just don't harm my friends. I don't know how you'd be able to do that but you've made it pretty obvious you can get to me.

Looking out for/protecting your friends!
Dark - I know how much you care for your friends. You wouldn't want to hurt them by being a sarcastic bastard would you?

A small nod to the future chapters with these small hints to Dark really not liking Lewis's jokes or sarcasm. At first we don't see a lot come of it, but in future parts we see a lot of retribution for Dark. This is a small nod to what is coming and it sets it up well for people who want to reread it.
Xephos - you can't do that. Hurt me not them.

Self sacrifice? Putting friends before yourself... are we sure Lewis isn't a Hufflepuff?
-Lividcoffee joined the game-
Lividcoffee - what's going on Lewis?
Xephos - nothing.
Lividcoffee - what u doing? Where are you? You're not on the whale?
Xephos - duncan. leave me lone.
Lividcoffee - but why?

Curiosity
{Dark (whispers) - better get going Lewis. Times ticking down, your friends are getting suspicious}

Knowing Lewis can't answer and still attempting to aggravate him.
Xephos - duncan just go away.
Lividcoffee - when are you gonna come out of your room...? Were worried about you man.

Honesty
Xephos - just go! For gods sake!
-honeydew joined the game-
Honeydew - you guys ok?
Lividcoffee - Lewis is being weird again.

Even more honesty
Honeydew - lewis buddy what's going on?

Xephos - nothing! Just leave me alone! God...

Bringing in your personal way of talking into your text to show annoyance.
-Rythian joined the game-
Rythian - hey guys
Honeydew - hey Rythian
Lividcoffee - Rythian! Will you please tell him that his moaping around and general depressed attitude won't solve anything?
Rythian - who's depressed? Simon?
Honeydew - no, lewis.
Xephos - I'm not friggin depressd!
-Sjin joined the game-
-Sips_ joined the game-
Sips_ - hey benders.

Sticking to character for Sips, seen as he would continue to be the joker of the group and would probably greet his friends like this whether through minecraft or IRL.
Sjin - what's going on? Is lewis still being depressed?

Showing your friends know you better than you think!
Xephos - I don't have time for this guys... Just leave me alone...
Honeydew - were all worried about you... Please just come out of your room.
Xephos - if you leave me alone for like five fucking minutes I will!
There was a moments silence. Lewis was getting angry.

You wouldn't like Lewis when he's angry...
Lividcoffee - just tell us what's wrong!
Xephos - for god sake!
Rythian - yeah were here for you! You can trst us.
Xephos - just piss off...
-Xephos left the game-
Honeydew - ...shit...

A sense of humour despite the situation, this is the Yogscast after all!
Everyone decided to leave their computers and go back to the common room.
"Is he still in there?" Simon asked as he walked to the door.
"Yep." Chris answered, sipping a drink.
"For god sake..." Simon groaned and walked down the corridor to Lewis' room. He rapped on the door. No answer. "Lewis." He said firmly.
"Leave me alone, Simon!" The raven haired mans voice came back.
"Just come out! You've been locking yourself in there! We just want to make sure you're ok!"
"You can make sure I'm ok by leaving me the fuck alone!" There was a loud thump on the door. And then silence.
Simon stared at the door for a moment before sighing and walking back to the common room.

Respecting your friends privacy despite being worried, it's that mix of wanting to help but not knowing how because you have limited information in the first place, all you know is something's wrong and that's it. So while Simon wants to help, his best option at this time is to see how things unfold.

------------
"Night Simon." Paul said, waving and then walking out.
"Night Sjin." He answered, yawning and standing up. He stretched and then made his way to the door. He looked back, turning the light off and noticing that there was still one light left. It was coming from Lewis' room. It must be from his lamp... Simon shook his head and left the building.
He would leave his friend to his own devices for now.

Again, respecting your friends privacy, despite wanting to help.

Lewis saw the light outside his room flick off, meaning that everyone had left the offices. He sighed and stood, pulling his jacket on and then wrapping his scarf round his neck, grabbing his phone and walking to the common room.

Establishing what month or time a year it is without stating it out right.

He grabbed a bottle of gin and didn't bother to get a glass. He downed some of it, before putting the bottle down and then walking to the door, locking up, and then heading home.

Continuity with real life? We all know Lewis likes to drink his gin. With the immanent threat it would be true, he wouldn't get full out drunk but something to take the edge off fits his character. Plus with the cold month he may just want something to warm him up? Either way it fits the character and shows us a possible path Lewis may head down in the future of this story.

On the way back the alcohol began to set in, he could feel the lightness in this head. It was fairly soothing.
He sighed and put his hands in his pockets, making his way towards his flat. His journey began to slow as the alcohol settled itself down in his head.

Relaxing, showing how wound up he way to have to go to alcohol.

He sighed again, and stumbled up the driveway to his flat. At the last moment he looked back over his shoulder, seeing a black shadow standing perched on the corner of the street he had just come through. He quickly went inside, closing the door behind him.

Setting up another side to the bad guy(s), and also setting up a small cliff-hanger, that doesn't annoy the audience while still setting up suspense that makes the audience want to come back and read the next part. While it's a fairly well used trait in writing now days, it really pinpoints the audience that like the suspense and brings them back fro the characters and then the storyline in general, despite genre.