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i'm going down.
literally.
i'm falling to the floor.
knees tucked under me.
thud.
pause.
sniffle.
i'm crawling across my carpet, dragging my sorry ass to the wall.
i sit up.
lean against it.
run my hands through my straggly hair.
pause.
sniffle.
i get up and walk drunkenly into my bathroom to wash away the tears and the paths that they had traced down my face.
my gaze falls upon myself in the mirror.
i am the moon.
my eyes are empty.
colourless.
reflectionless.
my hair is lighter then the stars.
all of a sudden.
i don't know why, but i'm beating my fists against my mirror.
maybe it's because i hate what i'm seeing.
maybe it's just that i hate how it's showing me reality instead of dreams.
for i live on dreams.
they are nothing more than intricately spun lies that are created when we sleep.
maybe it's that i'm a hypocrite.
i can't stand lies and yet they're the only thing that keep me alive.
maybe then, i'm just different.
the world's lied to me since the beginning, promising me a beautiful life and then tearing it out of my bloody hands.
maybe i just need to make things right.
i sniffle again.
pause.
wipe my nose with the back of my hand.
eyes are rimmed red.
my face has long since gone blotchy.
i turn on the faucet.
water flows over my palms.
pause.
i cup the water in both hands.
splash it gently on my face.
look myself dead in the eye through the mirror.
straight up, can you tell me?
are you sure you really want to love me forever?