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1. i am going to say the wrong thing.
i will stumble over my words,
awkward and too loud or too soft
but never just right,
because i can't really do anything right.
in my defense, i'm human.

2. i will worry you.
i do my best to be okay
but sometimes my best isn't enough,
mostly when i feel like
i'm not enough,
and there's not much
i can do about that.
i can't promise you
that i'll always be okay,
but i can promise you
that i will always
find my way back to it
eventually.

3. i'm not always pretty.
sometimes, people are ugly,
like when they're crying
or mad at you
for all the wrong reasons.
sometimes, you will look at me
and wonder why
you thought i was beautiful.
that doesn't mean
you won't remember again.

4. i might go weeks
or even months
without cracking,
i might not cry
or write
or remember how to breathe
because the air will taste stale
and the world will be greyscale
and i will be numb.
it's hard to explain
what feeling colourblind is like
when it's all in your head.

5. sometimes, i'm going to be weak;
it's hard to expect someone
to be strong all the time,
but most of us do.
i cannot always carry myself,
and sometimes, i'm going to fall,
and sometimes, i'll blame you.
i'm sorry.

6. i am pretty much always tired,
but i swear that i'm trying.
i don't tend to sleep well
and i've been exhausted
as long as i can remember,
but i try not to live with regrets,
so that's something.

7. my favourite word is bittersweet,
because i believe no other word
can convey everything i believe about life
using just itself.
i think the word tastes
like its meaning,
and i think that words that powerful
are the most important.

8. my grades are slipping
because i stopped caring about school
and started caring about myself,
and maybe that should worry me
but it really, truly doesn't.
i think i can find happiness
in most places
as long as i learn to find it
in myself, first.

9. i believe in god,
a god, my god,
but i also believe in myself.
i think they believe in me, too.
i think god uses they/them pronouns
because they transcend gender.
maybe i use they/them pronouns
because i want to carry a bit of god
within me.

10. but mostly, i believe in people.
i believe in a world that is better
than everything in it,
and i believe in the beautiful
and i believe in the broken
and i believe in everything
that is both of those things
at the same time.
i believe in humanity.