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Hetro
(a.k.a: the worst week ever)

April 21st, 2007 (Tuesday)

It’s a beautiful spring day when I finally get out of bed and have a shower. The water is warm, meaning that my sister hasn’t used it yet. I turn off the water and pull on my usual T-shirt and jeans. Today I put on a plain black one and stand in front of the mirror. Too plain. I grab the turquoise cross my mother gave me when I got confirmed. It pulls the outfit together. I go to the bathroom and put on my make up. Nothing fancy, just enough to accent my high cheeks and what Jill claims to be “flawless skin.” I don’t think it’s flawless, but who am I to change her view of me? I slide on my lip-gloss and wander out to the kitchen.

I help myself to a bowl of cheerios and flip through one of the magazines Kate has left on the table. Just another celebrity gossip magazine about who Brad Pitt has been hooking up with since his recent break up with Tom Cruise. I flip through it , not looking at anything in particular until one particular advertisement catches my eye. It shows two women, both well endowed, holding each other in skimpy outfits. It’s an ad for a lingerie sale at LaSenza. Normally this would get me all hot and bothered, or it’s supposed to, but I look at it with indifference , even disgust. I wonder what’s wrong with me. I close the magazine and brush my teeth. Soon my friends are here and I leave for school.

I walk with the same group of girls and guys almost everyday. They are Jill and Jenny, my two best  female friends, Max, my best guy friend, Lucy, Debbie and whatever pretty little girl she’s currently with, Alvin and Jimmy, the world’s most irritating couple (I swear, there is never a time when they aren’t at each other’s throats one way or another) and whoever decides to join into the group. We all walk to school, chattering like birds in a tree. My friends chatter on about their latest crushes, but all I can think of is the cute guy I met at the bookstore yesterday. I wish I could tell them, but they’d never understand.

When we get to school, first class is health with Mr. Howlett, maybe the coolest teacher I have. He’s about 20, happily married and always has the best assignments. I sit down in my usual seat. I hear a group of kids making a joke about straights. I try not to show my anger when Mr.Howlett walks in. He tells the group to shut up and threatens to give us another lecture on tolerance. We all groan. Mr. Howlett’s lectures are either absolutely scathing or deathly boring. He chuckles and tells us it’s too early for that kind of thing anyway.

He gives us our assignment: Get into groups of 5 (that HE assigns) and discuss your ideal life partner and why, and then try to find common things and present it to the class. I feel sick. Mr. Howlett puts us into groups before having to leave the room because Logan is calling him. Again. ( Logan is Mr. Howlett’s husband, by the way. I’ve met him a couple of times, he’s pretty nice). They usually have hour long arguments about drapes on the phone and you can practically hear the “But Scott! The eggplant would look so great in the bathroom!” all the way down the hall. I get into my group and stare out the window. It’s still pretty out, but today is going to be a looong day.

(Later)

I feel bad about lying to my group. Sure, I told some of the truth about how I wanted my partner to like cats and give me foot rubs, but I had to lie when someone asked me what size breasts I wanted her to have.  I said my size, 34 b. I don’t really care, because I don’t like boobs anyway. Later, on the walk home, Max asked me if something was wrong. I lied through my teeth and told him I was fine. I hate lying to him, but he’d hate me if he found out that I was straight. I don’t want to loose him as a friend. I got home, said hi to Kate, went to my room and stared at the ceiling for hours, listening to music and thinking about that guy. James, I think. I feel guilty at having those feelings, but I can’t help it. I fall asleep without supper, too lost in thought and music to hear the call to eat. I drift off to Alice Cooper’s ‘Poison.’ If only there was an antidote for my poison…
April 22nd, 2007 (Wednesday)

My mothers are home when I get up. Mom and Brenda-Lynn are both accountants. I call my one mother Brenda-Lynn because she can’t stand being called mom because it makes her feel old. My other mother (real name: Paula) doesn’t mind so we call her mom. They were in the living room discussing what colour to paint the room, and asked my opinion. So long as it’s not brown, I’m fine with it. They laugh and say they will definitely paint it brown now. I stalk off into the kitchen. That damn magazine is still there. I push it aside as Kate walks in. She asks me what’s wrong with her magazine. I hiss at her and tell her I’m not in the mood. She takes it and eats while reading her precious magazine. I finish my cereal in a hurry, pull on my superman T-shirt and leave for school.

Max is beside himself with joy over purchasing the heroes box set. It is both our favourite show. It is full of action and drama. Max has a huge crush on Peter and Sylar, and I say I like Claire but really I have the hots for Mohinder. I feel bad having to lie about something stupid like that, but I do what I have to. I wish I didn’t feel so bad about it.

I found myself staring at Mr. Howlett’s butt during health. I can’t help it. He has a great butt. I think I was too obvious about it, because I could have sworn I heard someone mutter ‘cock-sucker’, a derogatory term for straight girls. I blushed and shifted in my seat. I prayed that the day would go by really fast. It did, and I was happy.

I couldn’t stop thinking about James all day so I went home and drew a picture of him. Yes, it’s really creepy of me, but it was all I could think of doing. It turned out really well; I like to think I’m a fairly good artist. But no one will ever see this masterpiece. I want to show my moms but they’d probably have a fit. I love my mothers and don’t want them to be mad at me.

At supper my sister told a really cruel straight joke and both my moms laughed. I got mad and stabbed at my meat. When my mothers asked if I liked the joke, I told them it was kind of mean and that those jokes were wrong. Mom responded with “ I know it’s wrong and we should be more tolerant of straights, but the joke was quite funny.” Then she chuckled and went off to do the dishes. I suddenly remembered a book we had to read in English and retreated into my bedroom to read.

The book was okay, but there was too much sex in it. I’m surprised they even allow this book in school! The two main female characters did almost once a chapter, and the supporting males did it almost as often, but it wasn’t as graphic as the female. And we had to respond to it! I wanted to put that I hated every minute of it, but the parts where they got off each other long enough to do something useful were good. I write that it was okay, and that I would have made it less graphic. I sigh and shove it into my backpack. It will do for now.

I wander out of my room and sit on the couch. Kate is watching Lizzie McGuire. God, that show is why I never let anyone call me Lizzie. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a fine show for 11-year-olds. But the acting is a bit too hammy, if you know what I mean. The love is a bit too lovey-dovey, and there’s nothing in it about tolerance. Only of people’s races, but not their orientation. I glower at the TV and snatch the remote from Kate. She doesn’t notice, and I turn to the news. Some people call me a nerd but I love the news. I don’t know why.

Tonight there was a story on a straight bashing in the city. I felt myself burn with anger. Especially when Kate muttered ‘serves them right, damn cock-suckers and pussy lickers.’ I turned off the TV and went to bed. I didn’t need TV to make me more conflicted than I already was. I slipped on my pyjamas and hopped into bed praying for sleep to take me quickly. I drifted off thinking of James, only waking up once to use the bathroom to change my maxi-pad. I swear, somedays I hate being female. If I was a guy, I’d have more chances at James…

Dreamed I was a really hot guy and James fell in love with me. I woke up swearing, pissed that the dream ended before we kissed.
April 23rd, 2007 (Thursday)

Had a math test today. I think I failed it because I’ve been too stressed out to study. Our math teacher, Ms. Greensby, can be such a bitch. I think it’s because she’s still single and almost fifty. A few people reckon she’s secretly straight, but I doubt it because she’s always staring lustily at the intern in the class across the hall. I wish she’d just get a girlfriend or a boyfriend or something so she’d go easier on us. Lucy’s trying to concoct a plan t hook Ms. Greensby and the intern ( Pam Jenkins) up, but I doubt it will happen seeing as Pam’s 24 and Ms. Greensby is 48. I hope it works, though.

They announced the date for the spring formal. It’s on the 10th of May. After announcements everyone immediately went crazy, mostly the girls and the femme guys whining about it not being enough time to find a dress. I rolled my eyes and drew cats on my desk.

Health went a little better today, because Logan stopped by to compare drape samples to the colour of the classroom. Mr. Howlett is hot and all, but Logan is out of the park sexy. He has dark brown wavy hair and tan skin, from working out all the time. He’s a personal trainer, so he has a great body. His butt is even nicer than Mr. Howlett’s is and that’s saying something. His eyes are light green and sparkle a lot, especially when he talks about drapes and furniture. I think he’s obsessed with interior decorating. Mr. Howlett whined about not needing drapes for the classroom and Logan just shook his head and said “Yes, love, you really, really do” in his deep, manly voice. I felt myself getting really warm and I’m sure my face was red. I asked to go to the bathroom even though I really didn’t have to go. I just couldn’t take it.

I leaned on the sink and washed my face with cold water to get my impure thoughts out of my head. The water couldn’t wash away my desire, so I splashed myself red and leaned against the wall. I wish I could just be myself but I know no one would accept me. I wish I could just be normal.

Mr. Howlett came in to talk to me. He said he was worried about me because I have lost a lost of weight and I look really pale. I told him it’s just a flu bug. He smiled at me (I nearly melted on the spot!)  and told me he hoped that I got better soon. I guess he kind of knows me well because I’ve been in his class since grade nine and I’m in grade 11 now. I smiled back and told him I was fine. Then he got all serious and told me that if something was wrong, I could tell him. If only he knew. I nodded and he told me I should go back to class and hand in our marriage essay. Oh crap, the essay! I ran back into the classroom, listening to Mr. Howlett’s soft chuckle. I grabbed my essay and handed it back in before hurrying off to English. I hope he doesn’t think that I’m an idiot.

English went fine, but Mr. De Lioncourt (also a hunk) asked my why I said that the book was too graphic. I told him that they didn’t need to have endless sex in the novel to get their point across. He laughed and said that the book was written when the author was drunk so that was to be expected. He then gave us another book, this time with romance but no sex. He gave me a wink. I think I blushed, but I’m not sure. I did feel all hot though.

On the walk home, Max asked me if I wanted to see the new Star Trek movie with him on Saturday. He knows absolutely nothing about Star Trek, and keeps thinking Han Solo is the captain of the enterprise, and he’s only going to the movie to see Zachary Quinto, who plays Mr. Spock. I agreed. I felt happy that he asked me to go to a movie with him, but then I realised that he only wanted me to go because I knew a lot more about Star Trek than him and I could explain stuff for him. My heart sank.

I ate my dinner in silence, and then went to my room to draw a picture to represent to book, but all I really got drawn was a picture of me and James kissing. I threw it across the room. I wasn’t really mad at it, I was mad at me. Why did I have to be so perverted, why!? I wanted to be normal bad.

I fell asleep with my legs in the fetal position listening to ‘Love stinks’ by the J. Giels band. The song pretty much sums up how I’m feeling. Why couldn’t I control whom I loved? And why did the world have to be so cruel? And why was I still awake at 5 am?

April 24th, 2007 (Friday)

Didn’t sleep at all last night. My face is ghost pale and there are huge black bags under my eyes that even all my make-up couldn’t cover up. Went to school looking and feeling like crap.

Mr. Howlett looked really worried when I walked into class. He didn’t say anything, not wanting my fellow classmates to think of me as the teacher’s pet, but watched me out of the corner of his eye the whole period. I think he noticed me checking him out on the walk out, but I hope not.

The rest of school went by like a dream, because I kept falling asleep in class. Ms. Greensby had a hissy fit and beat me over the head with a ruler until I woke up. God, somedays I hate that bitch. I even fell asleep in Mr. De Lioncourt’s class, which was embarrassing because I didn’t want him to think that I was insulting him. He seemed to know that I wasn’t, and casually suggested that I shouldn’t listen to music so late. I swear the man can read minds.

On the way out of science, my last class, two girls pushed me up against a locker and held my throat and my mouth shut. “We know what you are,” they hissed, “And we don’t like your kind. So stay out of our way, cock-sucker, got it?” Then they let go and dropped me when Mr. Howlett came by. He asked me why those girls had beaten me up (Are all my teachers mind readers! Ugh!). I told him that it was nothing, he obviously didn’t believe me because he shook his head, helped me up, and told me he hoped I had a good long weekend.

On the walk home I accidentally snapped at Jill. She innocently asked me what I was wearing to the dance and I screamed “I don’t know! Will anyone shut up about the mother fucking dance for five fucking minutes!” She backed up and looked a little hurt. I apologised and said that I had a headache. She seems to accept this and said if I didn’t want to talk about we didn’t have to. I shrugged, and told her I didn’t think I was even going. Jenny popped in with a “Why?”

“Cuz I don’t want to.”

“Why?”

“Cuz I can’t get a date.”

“Oh, that’s not a problem! I can set you up with some cute little thing. Maybe Casey from biology..”

“I don’t really want a date.”

“But you said…”

“Forget it.” I threw my hands in the air. “ I have a headache, I can’t talk right. See you guys on Monday.” Then I practically ran into my house and threw my self on my bed.

I hate that I can’t be myself with my friends. I mean, I trust Jenny, Jill and Max with my life, their my best friends, but I don’t want them to hate me! Why is being straight such a big deal anyway? I’m still the same person…I just like men. There, I said it.

I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair. This was stressing me out too much. I needed sleep.

I feel asleep listening to Razorlight’s ‘who needs love.’ They have figured out the philosophy of life with their song. Plus, they said girl or boy, which means it could be both. Of course, guys and girls can listen to it…Maybe I should stop over thinking my music and just enjoy it.

April 25th, 2007 (Saturday)

Going to a movie with Max today. I read a book about Star Trek before he came to pick me up. His parents have started to let him drive again, after an incident with the mini van and a stop sign. He pulled up in a red beater. I re-read the chapter on Spock (who he’d probably ask the most questions on) and headed out.

The movie theatre was crowded, since it was opening day of Hair-Spray (Teenaged guys were everywhere, no doubt only there to see Zac Efron). We got our tickets and went in to Trek. There were fair amounts of people there too, mostly fat old nerds that kept eyeing Max up. He pretended not to notice the creeps as we sat down in the middle row.

The movie was good. The dialect was just cheesy enough to be smart, and Quito looked HOT. Even as the pointy-eared alien dude. Max was probably thinking the same thing, because he kept sqruiming uncomfortably whenever Zachary started talking. Or moving. I suddenly became jealous of Max. He could like whatever guy he wanted and no body would care. But if I were to admit that I liked boys, I’d be shunned and persecuted. I looked at my friend, foaming at the mouth at his boy-toy in a tight, spandex suit. He was so lucky, and he’d never know it.

I regretted having to get up to go to the bathroom, but drinking a large iced-tea in fifteen minutes has its repercussions. I eased my way out of the row, trying not to disturb my fellow viewers. Then I saw him. James! He was there too. To my surprise, he smiled and said hi. I did too before quickly exiting the theatre and heading to the nearest washroom.

When I had finished my business, I headed back into the movie. I had checked my make-up before I went in, making sure I looked fine. It’s not like he’ll care, but maybe he’ll think I’m pretty. According to Max, guys do appreciate a cute girl. They’d just rather date a guy. Luckily the movie was on a small discussion between Kirk and Malloy about the females of the enterprise, so the old dweebs didn’t seem to mind. I said Hi to James again, and sat down beside Max.

Let me take a moment to explain James to you. I met James at Chapters on Monday, when I was searching for Warriors books, my favourite series. He was looking for Harry Potter, and we bumped into each other leaving (and entering) the juvenile series aisle. We talked for an hour before I had to go and meet my mom outside of sportcheck. James is 17, a year older than me, but still in my grade, and goes to a school near mine. He is a bit taller than me, 5’11 I’d say, and well built for a self proclaimed “art nerd.” He’s breath taking, with shaggy chocolate brown hair and dark hazel eyes. His face is round and expressive, and he gets the cutest look in his eyes when he talks about art and books. He looks kind of old for his age, but in a good way. I didn’t know he like Star Trek though.

Even though I should have been watching the movie, all I could do was stare at James. He looked so darn cute, his facial expressions matching the scenes of the movie. I swear, you could have been able to tell what was going on in the movie just looking at his face. That I so badly wanted to kiss. Ugh! I almost smacked myself for thinking that. I couldn’t think that about him! He was a guy! A gorgeous, sexy guy. ARGH!!! I violently turned my head back to the movie, hoping it would get my thoughts off James and kissing. No such luck as I was greeted with the sight of a shirtless Mr. Spock. When did that ever happen in the TV series? I stared at the ground and sqruimed in my seat, praying no one would notice. They didn’t.

After the movie, Max cam out with a stupefied expression on his usually bright face. I think seeing his celebrity crush half-naked has melted his brain. We walked out in silence, but not an awkward silence. Just me, trying to get my dirty thoughts out of my head and Max thinking up dirty thoughts. We were an odd pair. Max started asking me if I liked the movie. I nodded. He smiled and said he was totally buying it on DVD (Probably so he could do the old watch, rewind, watch again with a certain scene. He does that all the time). I laughed and was about to tease him when someone tapped me on the shoulder and said, “Fancy seeing you here.” James!

James had strolled up to Max and me on our way out. He smiled and said it was nice seeing me again. I tried not to blush and told him it was a good surprise running into him. Max demanded to be introduced to James, which is odd because he usually runs away when people come up and start talking to me. It was strange, but I introduced them anyway. James shook Max’s hand and we talked amongst ourselves about meaningless things. I noticed James’s eyes (how could I not! They are so beautiful) looking at me, then to Max’s face, then downward. Jealousy flowed through me and I wanted to leave right then and there so that James would stop staring at my friend. Don’t get me wrong, Max is kind of cute. He has a really skinny body and a big, round face, which makes him look like a kid. His puppy-dog-brown eyes are huge too, which makes him look like a lost dog, especially when his wiry black hair falls in his face. He dresses kind of strange (I call it gothic prep; since he wears polo’s and turtle necks and slacks like every good prep, but they are always black or some dark colour with red accents. It’s nice.) But it complements his bony body and his hair. I can see what attracted him to James, but it annoyed me since I couldn’t have him. I decided to stay, since I might not get to talk to James for a while.

We talked for a while (actually they mostly talked, I kind of stood there nodded and laughed and stared lustily at James). Then James left with a group of friends, saying goodbye to me and nice to meet you to Max. He looked as good walking away as he did coming (No, I do not mean it like that). He had a nice butt, not as nice as Logan’s or Mr. Howlett’s, but a nice one none the less. I quickly looked away, not wanting to be caught and called straight. Max and I headed out to the car and drive away.

Max asked me if something was wrong. Again. I told him that nothing was wrong. Okay, I may have screamed it, but I still told him. He looked kind of taken aback at that, and I regretted yelling at him. I put my hands in my lap and told him that I just wasn’t ready to talk about it. He nodded and said that he would always be there for me and that I could trust him. I just stared at the floor and tried not to cry. Why does life have to be so god damn hard? Thankfully, we arrived at my house shortly after that. He let me out and told me to have a good weekend. All I managed was a wave.

I went to my room and cried myself to sleep.

April 26th, 2007 (Sunday)

Church today. Brenda-Lynn is a devout catholic, so every Sunday Kate and I are dragged out of bed at 9:30 to be at church by ten. Not that I mind going to church. Our church is pretty, and I need to sort out some things. Where else to do it then Church?

At church, Father Bill’s sermon was all about sins and sinful lifestyles. He said that all sins were created equal and that every sin, un-repented, would make you wind up in hell. Then he said that being straight was a sin.

I don’t think it’s that bad of a sin. I mean, Adam and Eve were straight, right? How else would we have been made, if not for straightness? And didn’t Jesus love Mary Magdalene? Sure, its not like they were dating or anything and he did love his male friends too. Come to think of, Jesus didn’t have a boyfriend or a girlfriend when he was on earth. He kind of just loved everyone.

And then Father said that denying who we are is also a sin. Hypocrite. I know he meant denying your faith is a sin, like what Peter did before Jesus died, but it also applies to other aspects of life too he says. So, in being straight, I’m sinning, but in denying myself I’m sinning too? Ugh, it’s all too complicated. I put my head in my hands and prayed to god to make me normal.

No. I didn’t want to be normal. If I was straight, then that was who I was, and god makes us who we are, and if god wants me to be this way, who am I to interfere? I knew one thing for sure. I couldn’t deny what I was any longer. I had to come out. First to my moms, and then to my friends, and then to the rest of the world. After all, if I was going to hell anyway, why should I make my life hell by living in denial? I would tell my moms tomorrow. Sitting up in my pew, I thanked god for the revelation and prayed for strength. I was going to need it.
April 27th, 2007 (Monday)

We didn’t have school today, so I spent the bulk of the day in my room pacing and practising what I was going to say. I only left to eat once at two, and to shower. Finally, at about 5 in the evening, I was ready to make my speech. I put on my nice without being too nice blue button up shirt with my best jeans. I took a deep breath, went over what I would say, and then walked out into the living room.

My mothers were sitting on the new leather chairs, drinking coffee. I sat down on the sofa, took another deep breath, and started into my speech.

“Mom, Brenda-Lynn, I have something to tell you.”

They put down their coffees and looked at me. “What is it, honey?”

“Well…” I breathed, in, out and then let it all out. “I’m straight.”

They looked at me in shock. I went on.

“I realised this a while back, but I was afraid to tell you. I’m still the same person; I just, like boys. That’s all. I know it’s a sin, but it’s who I am and I can’t help it.” I looked up. Mom had tears running down her cheeks. Brenda-Lynn looked mad. Tears were streaming, and her fists were balled up. I wanted to speak, say something to make her not mad, but nothing I could think of would help.

“Get out.”

I was shocked. Mom just closed her eyes and tilted her head to the ground. “But, Brenda-Lynn…”

“You heard me. Get your things and get out. And don’t come back.”

I stood up and glared at her, tears and blood running down my face. I had bitten my lip so hard to keep from crying that I had cut it. I was that mad. I was still the same person, the same little girl they adopted, the same girl they taught to bike, swim, ski, and add; I was still the same girl that they had told they would always be there for. Were they lying to me all along?

I ran to my room and furiously shoved most of my clothes in a bag. I grabbed my ipod, knowing I’d need it. I grabbed my phone, my make-up, my toiletries, my trinkets, my..I stopped. Should I take my family pictures? They showed us at Disney world, at the lake, and at my grade 8 grad, where they had told me how proud of me they were. LIARS!!! I threw the pictures off the dresser, not caring about what they would do the hardwood. Kate came running in at the crash, and, seeing my in tears and bloody, packing my bags, ran into the kitchen and asked mom and Brenda-Lynn why I was packing. Brenda-Lynn knelt down in front of Kate and told her that I was a disgrace to the family, and that I was leaving and never coming back. Kate started crying, and screamed “Why? Why?” and came running back into my room. “Why are they making you leave, Eliza? Why?” she wailed and stomped her feet. I sighed, hugged her, and told her why.

“Because I’m straight, Kate.”

She tensed up in my arms. “That shouldn’t matter. You’re still my sister! I need you!” she looked up at me with pleading eyes. I cried more.

“I know. I don’t want to leave, but I don’t want to stay and make Brenda-Lynn mad.” I ruffled her hair. “Bye, Katie. I love you. See you around.”

I grabbed my stuff and started to leave. Kate grabbed my shoulder and stopped me for a minute. “I don’t care what Brenda-Lynn and Father Bill say. You’re still my sister, and I still love you. Even if you like boys.”

I smiled at her. “I’m gonna miss you, Katie-pie.”

She hugged me. “I’ll make them take you back. Promise.”

She let go and walked into her room and started to cry. I turned, open the door, and left my house, knowing that I may never come back.

**

I wandered the street aimlessly for an hour. Where was I supposed to go? I was 16, I could work, but I couldn’t make enough to get a place. Unless I dropped out of school…

I collapsed against a street lamp. Maybe I could stay with a friend. But which one? I didn’t trust Lucy enough, and Debbie would kick me out to the curb for sure, being a devout like Brenda-Lynn. I thought about Max…No, then I’d have to tell him why, had he’d get creeped out by me in his house. And forget Alvin and Jimmy. I didn’t want to listen to them doing it 24-7. Maybe Jill. No, she already had a huge family. I didn’t want to burden her parents, who probably would kick me out anyway. That left Jenny. She was one of my best friends, and routinely told me she’d be my friend no matter what. Maybe she already knew…I decided to call her.

Ring ring, pick up already… “Hello?”

“Hi, is Jenny there?” I think my voice was cracking from all the crying.

“Yeah, this is Jenny. Is that you, E?”

“Yeah, it’s me. Listen, Jenny, I kind of got kicked out and I need somewhere to stay. Can I stay at your place for a while?” I bit my lip. Hopefully she didn’t ask why, or turn me down.

“Yeah, sure.” Just like that, no asking of parents or nothing. “Come right over.”

“Thanks Jenny. I owe you one. ”

I hung up the phone and picked up my stuff. I had to come up with a decent explanation, or at least a way to tell the truth without crying. I thought and thought and pretty soon I was at Jenny’s door. I didn’t even have to knock; she just opened the door and let me in. She gave me a hug, grabbed my stuff and led me down to the basement, where she had set up a spare bed. She told me where everything was as if I had never been to her house. Then she looked at me and (with a straight face) said:

“So they found out that you’re straight.”

“Actually, I told them…How did you know about that?”

“I think I’ve known for longer than you have. I mean, you’ve never had a girl friend, you’ve never been really interested in girls, and you are constantly checking out Mr. Howlett when you think no one’s looking. I just connected the dots.”

My jaw dropped. “And, you didn’t care?”

“No. You’re still the same, just…straight.”

“Wow.” I was flabbergasted. “ You are the greatest friend, like, ever.”
Jenny smiled. “I know, I know. So, when will you tell the others?”

I sighed. “I don’t know. I want to, but…”

“You’re afraid they’re going to hate you?”

“Yeah.”

“Don’t worry. Max and Jill will be fine with it. Debbie won’t mind, and Lucy…Well, she’ll get over it.”

“So, I should tell them…Tomorrow?”

“Yeah. Or they’ll be really upset and think that you don’t trust them.”

“Okay. But you should sleep first. You are probably exhausted.”

I nodded. Jenny smiled and said “Then goodnight. The bathrooms in the other half, and you can sleep on the spare bed. You know where my room is if you need anything.” And she went up the stairs.

I lay down in the bed, thinking about the day and thanking god that I had a place to stay. I wondered if Jenny had told her parents. I decided not to worry about that. I got cleaned up and went to sleep. Tomorrow, all hell would break loose. I just knew it.