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Her hand curved around the stalks of buckwheat, taking it from his outstretched palm. The flowers were lost, sticking out in every direction like her jet black hair whipping in the strong wind. She brought the flowers to her nose, trying to catch a whiff of its smell but they didn’t smell like anything. All she could smell was the salt coming from the constant rush of waves against the stonewall. It’s harsh blows filled her reddening ears when she turned around afraid to look at him.

Her heart was beating against her ribcage like an atom bomb about to blow and she put a hand to her chest feeling the throb of her heartbeat. She knew she couldn’t face him and she didn’t turn around, not until she heard the sound of his footsteps walking away.
When she turned around, she noticed that he had disappeared in an instant leaving her there. Her eyes blinked in hesitation, and she took a step forward but she couldn’t run after him. Tears of disappointment began to flood her eyes and they stayed in the corners for she did not will herself to cry. Her lower lip quivered as she swallowed in a sob and in her sadness she didn’t notice the bouquet of flowers drop to the ground.

All she could do was look up at the azure blue of the sky, trying to stop her tears from falling and she could feel its threatening shadow on the lower parts of her eyes. It was true when they said that the pain always intensified when you try not to cry, when the pain in your heart was wiping out all the strength you had left in your body.

The waves didn’t seem to hit the stonewall any longer, it began to hit her. It hit her again and again with memories of him. He used to stand beside her on the stonewall, just looking at the sea, but he vanished. He used to sit on a brown park bench, with his lips perked up in a smile as he looked at her run to him, and he vanished before she ever got to him. He used to wait for her outside her school, leaning against a lamppost, but he vanished just as her eyes focused in on him.

It had dawned on her that he wasn’t coming back and all that she ever saw were different colours of him that engraved itself in the crevices of her memory. She closed her eyes letting her tears fall as she savoured the warmth of his ghost towering over her.
When she recovered, she began to walk away, her shoes clicking against the ground. The remains of her tears stuck around her eyes but she only looked ahead.

“Goodbye,” she whispered into the wind and it took her words away into the horizon. It also scattered the flowers into the sea, the place where his ashes had been scattered the day before.