HOME | DD
Published: 2008-09-08 00:57:39 +0000 UTC; Views: 154; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 2
Redirect to original
Description
I rejoined the group after sixteen grueling hours of reliving the past with my old "friends." (I never touched Aro, even though he was quite persistent and kept trying. I think I made him rather angry, but I did not truly care. What is a little anger between old "friends," anyway?) I crept in through the window, finding all three werewolves soundlyasleep.
"That was a nasty trick you pulled, Kyuu! How could you do that to poor Seth?" Bella demanded the second my foot made contact with the floor. I sighed.
"Well, Aro-san did not seem to even notice you guys, did he? Was it just me, or did you guys not really seem to want to deal with him? I thought that I would make it easier on you guys and draw his attention away from you. My apologies." God, I needed to eat something and now suddenly seemed like the perfect time to do it. I turned back towards the window.
"You really are a coward, Kyuu-chan! You were afraid to face your past by yourself, so you drag us along. Then, you send someone else to rescue your friend from a drunk frenzy on a clock's hand. THEN, you let someone else apologize to someone you just lied to so you don't have to see their face break in pain! Now, you're just going to go eat without facing the consequences!"
Edward was on the verge of shouting, his voice rising with rage as he continued, "I used to have a lot of respect for you, Kyuu-chan, but what you don't seem to understand is that Seth doesn't know what happened in your past and why on earth you would treat him this way when he loves you so deeply!"
I turned to face the vampire- eyes wide; mouth slightly ajar- then I put on my emotionless mask and simply looked at the sleeping werewolf on the bed.
"Give him my laptop. Tell him to open the file entitled 'The Legend' and tell him to read it. That should be more than enough explanation for him."
Heh, you know, Edward-kun? You are right. I am even too much of a coward to see his reaction when he learns about me. I grinned a small, sad grin and jumped out the window for a small snack.
****************************
I returned only about an hour later, only just before dawn, and found the two vampires to be out and the three werewolves now awake. Roxy was trying to hide her face under the pillow as the light from my computer screen was hurting her head. Seth held said computer in his lap, reading contently while Jacob sat just behind him and read over the young wolf's shoulder. I sat silently on the window sill, waiting for them to finish. Every part of me was in that file and I truly hoped it would be enough for Seth to finally understand. I did not have to wait long for the two to finish. They quietly shut down my laptop, closed it, and placed it off to the side. Jacob, for once, was speechless. Seth watched me, probably wondering what I suddenly found so interesting on the floor.
The silence in the room grew.
"Oh, come off it! Just say whatever the fuck you have to say, Seth, and let the bitch deal with it. She's a big fuckin' girl, now, and I'm damn sure she can take anything you say to her! FUCKING JESUS MOTHER FUCKER MY HEAD FUCKING HURTS! SHIT-FUCK!" Roxy exclaimed suddenly, throwing her pillow in a random direction. I almost chuckled, she was so adorable when she was half out of her mind.
Seth was silent for a second more. "I had… absolutely no idea, Kyuu… I'm… so sorry…" Seth began, struggling to touch base with me.
I spoke before he could continue, "Please… Do not apologize for something that did not concern you in the least. It happened…" I paused, sighing sadly. "Many years ago." Jacob left the room, dragging a cursing and flailing (violently, I might add) Roxy out by the ankle, to give us some privacy.
I moved to sit down on the now empty bed and faced Seth.
"Does everybody else know this much?" He asked, looking sympathetic. I was taken slightly aback by this fact. Did he truly care? I somehow doubted this, relying on my past experiences.
"Only Edward-kun, but not as many details as you know now. You should feel honored that I would let you so deep into my past. I usually do not trust people enough to let them know so much." I decided to let him feel special for a little while. Goodness, I truly was a monster. Here I was, trying to make up for the trick I had pulled on him and now I was tricking him again. It was no wonder all the legends portray us as evil creatures…
"You really don't think that much of yourself, do you?" Seth said, seeming to guess my thoughts; the look on my face probably gave them away. I sighed.
"I do not know what I think anymore, in all honesty." I chuckled once softly. "I have lived much too long to think me sane anymore… I am honestly quite sure I have already lost my mind…" I laughed blackly.
"Can I tell you what I think? What I truly see you as?" Seth asked, leaning a little towards me.
"Hm, why not? I have been lied to and told disgusting things about myself before. Some truth might be just what I need." I leaned towards him slightly, preparing for the worst.
"Let's see… where to start…?" Seth murmured, holding his chin in his hand. I waited patiently.
"I see… an innocent young lady, who was tortured, both physically and emotionally, but endured to keep the memory she couldn't dare lose; I see a smart young girl who can't stop reliving the pain and who can't remember how to let herself love again; I see someone who has been injured so badly, that she believes she can never let herself be that vulnerable again for fear of being broken again; I see a little girl who's only happiness was ripped out from under her and feels betrayed by people that she once held dear; I see a vampire who has been searching for someone to accept every part of her and has found only a handful in her entire life; I see someone who tries to hide their emotions under a mask so others can't find a weakness; and I see a beautiful and unique young woman that I want to spend the rest of forever--"
He never finished his (romantic) cheesy sentence. I silenced him with a slap to his left cheek. If I could cry, tears would be streaming from my eyes. He stared at me, eyes full of hurt, shock, and… fear? Is that what I saw? Strange, that after everything he just said, now was the time he decided to fear me.
I do not know why I hit him. I did not hold anything against him. I had told him to tell me the truth and he had. Was it that I was feeling insulted, from calling me all those things? No, I did not feel insulted… Hate? No, nothing in me could hate this man… What was it that compelled me to hit him? I stared at my right hand, a dull, blank look in my eyes, while I thought. My eyes widened slightly as I realized why I had hit him. I was feeling weak and defenseless as he declared every truth about me. I had subconsciously wanted to show him I was not and my body acted upon this notion. I was too wrapped up in this revelation that I did not think of the obvious questions: Was I okay with him loving me? Did I love him back? Did I really have it in me to detach myself from him and leave him broken for the rest of his life?
"Kyuu…" A voice from behind broke me from my trance. I turned around slowly, my face emotionless but still filled with sadness. I met Bella's shocked stare with a dull one of my own and dropped my hand back down to my side. I heard a strange sobbing noise, whether it was from the emotionally destroyed boy or from my torn apart, memory-ravaged self. As the noise died down, I realized it was coming from my chest, it was me, breaking in two. I bowed my head, a sure sign of shame, and bolted towards the window.
"KYUU! WAIT!" I heard Seth's voice behind me.
I heard Edward echo the young wolf in Japanese. "KYUU-CHAN! MATTE!"
I was too far gone to turn around now.
Please… just go home… I will be back when I can.
I ran off, away from the rising sun.