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Description

“I felt safe, but it wasn’t just us…”
My second love was a guy from my friend circle, we also met in high school but we started dating in the semester before switching colleges.
He always struck me as a guy that would not ever pay attention to me, even when he started to talk to me. Everyone in the bunch knew he was star struck by another girl in the group. If you thought of him, and knew him… you thought in the pair. She was a friend of mine, she was the one that actually told me about what went on with my first boyfriend. So it was a terrible surprise to know that he had a thing for me.
We went out but it didn’t hit quickly, I was still hurt by my last relationship. It twisted me inside in many ways, I didn’t trust people. That was a real hard thing to deal with.
I did grow to love him, I liked him at first but I guess it wasn’t hard for one to fall in love young.
I started liking videogames with him, he was a heavy nerd. I loved to play computer games with him. Our entertainment on the weekends was playing video games till night. He lived near my home so we would walk home and it was nice times.
But again, I was still hurt on my end. I admit I wasn’t the best girlfriend at most moments with him. I didn’t trust him, I pressured him a lot to be better… in my eyes he had a lot of potential but he didn’t have the guts to be more. He could blame any little event to not do things.
We fought a lot, for very stupid things. His favorite line was “I am not him”, and yeah he wasn’t him. He was different though… really different. He kept comparing me a lot with the girl he “used to love”. I changed my looks at some point so I looked like her… he didn’t realize that. But it was impossible for me to look like her, she was tall and slim… I am rather small and curvy; I started to hate my body so much.
But still… he made me feel safe, that was HIS THING. He tried to make things better to me, when I switched college he talked with some of the people I was relating and told them to take care of me, because I was a very shy and quiet person… I felt that was nice of him. He called me, he picked me up. He was very protective at least.
We broke up though, after his birthday. That birthday was such a hell… one of those vivid moments again. I think she did it on purpose… I keep thinking she did it… to just spite me. But whatever was going in her mind… well it ended right there.
October came, and he came a couple of days before Halloween, begging me to come back to him… his words were “I thought I still loved her, but I couldn’t get the thought of you in my head while being with her”. He begged me for another chance, and I felt sorry to be honest and gave it a go.
But at a Halloween party I realized, when she showed up by surprise, she didn’t know he was with me again. For what she said, she came with the idea of being with him that night… did not expect to see me around him…
My words after that long night where… “I don’t wanna have anything to do with you guys ever again…”
I left the friend circle. I had my set of friends already; I had a lot of problems with them because of that relationship. I did that to 2 of the hardest and heaviest elements in that “elite” circle as they consider themselves. They started planting gossips about me around everyone they knew… he specially saying pretty nasty things.
I did come along years later, to forgive myself for what I did or said to hurt him and her. I just didn’t feel right not saying anything right after a really hard episode of mine. I thought it was the right choice. It only turned in to more gossip and disgusting things said about me… tagging me as a CRAZY PERSON.
What I learned?
The other one you date isn’t going to be the same guy… BUT if you don’t learn the lesson on that episode, you will eventually keep dating the same person, just in another body. We tend to go back to that one type of person you dated originally thinking it will get better.
It’s not bad to give people a chance to know them, the best part of the trip is to grow with them… eventually you grow up in to another persona as also your partner, so things don’t always work.
You can trust your friends, you need people by your side. Sometimes sadly it’s like relationships… they don’t work out, either cause they aren’t the type of people you need by your side or like anything you grow up different and sometimes people don’t like changes.

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MY FIRST LOVE: jedilover02.deviantart.com/art…

Description

“I felt safe, but it wasn’t just us…”
My second love was a guy from my friend circle, we also met in high school but we started dating in the semester before switching colleges.
He always struck me as a guy that would not ever pay attention to me, even when he started to talk to me. Everyone in the bunch knew he was star struck by another girl in the group. If you thought of him, and knew him… you thought in the pair. She was a friend of mine, she was the one that actually told me about what went on with my first boyfriend. So it was a terrible surprise to know that he had a thing for me.
We went out but it didn’t hit quickly, I was still hurt by my last relationship. It twisted me inside in many ways, I didn’t trust people. That was a real hard thing to deal with.
I did grow to love him, I liked him at first but I guess it wasn’t hard for one to fall in love young.
I started liking videogames with him, he was a heavy nerd. I loved to play computer games with him. Our entertainment on the weekends was playing video games till night. He lived near my home so we would walk home and it was nice times.
But again, I was still hurt on my end. I admit I wasn’t the best girlfriend at most moments with him. I didn’t trust him, I pressured him a lot to be better… in my eyes he had a lot of potential but he didn’t have the guts to be more. He could blame any little event to not do things.
We fought a lot, for very stupid things. His favorite line was “I am not him”, and yeah he wasn’t him. He was different though… really different. He kept comparing me a lot with the girl he “used to love”. I changed my looks at some point so I looked like her… he didn’t realize that. But it was impossible for me to look like her, she was tall and slim… I am rather small and curvy; I started to hate my body so much.
But still… he made me feel safe, that was HIS THING. He tried to make things better to me, when I switched college he talked with some of the people I was relating and told them to take care of me, because I was a very shy and quiet person… I felt that was nice of him. He called me, he picked me up. He was very protective at least.
We broke up though, after his birthday. That birthday was such a hell… one of those vivid moments again. I think she did it on purpose… I keep thinking she did it… to just spite me. But whatever was going in her mind… well it ended right there.
October came, and he came a couple of days before Halloween, begging me to come back to him… his words were “I thought I still loved her, but I couldn’t get the thought of you in my head while being with her”. He begged me for another chance, and I felt sorry to be honest and gave it a go.
But at a Halloween party I realized, when she showed up by surprise, she didn’t know he was with me again. For what she said, she came with the idea of being with him that night… did not expect to see me around him…
My words after that long night where… “I don’t wanna have anything to do with you guys ever again…”
I left the friend circle. I had my set of friends already; I had a lot of problems with them because of that relationship. I did that to 2 of the hardest and heaviest elements in that “elite” circle as they consider themselves. They started planting gossips about me around everyone they knew… he specially saying pretty nasty things.
I did come along years later, to forgive myself for what I did or said to hurt him and her. I just didn’t feel right not saying anything right after a really hard episode of mine. I thought it was the right choice. It only turned in to more gossip and disgusting things said about me… tagging me as a CRAZY PERSON.
What I learned?
The other one you date isn’t going to be the same guy… BUT if you don’t learn the lesson on that episode, you will eventually keep dating the same person, just in another body. We tend to go back to that one type of person you dated originally thinking it will get better.
It’s not bad to give people a chance to know them, the best part of the trip is to grow with them… eventually you grow up in to another persona as also your partner, so things don’t always work.
You can trust your friends, you need people by your side. Sometimes sadly it’s like relationships… they don’t work out, either cause they aren’t the type of people you need by your side or like anything you grow up different and sometimes people don’t like changes.

------------------------------------------------------
MY FIRST LOVE: jedilover02.deviantart.com/art…