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Joey-Darkmeat — Whutt
Published: 2012-06-30 05:01:43 +0000 UTC; Views: 42350; Favourites: 877; Downloads: 755
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Comments: 251
Frankly, I dunno why the stale-as-Celly's-alfalfa marshmallow meme is yet again gettin' trotted out here, as those look like buns of ivory-coated steel from where I'm sitting. Especially when stacked against a flat, wiry Dashboard(R).
...and now I'm doing it AAARGHODWHYYYY.
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Instructive clip, but consider: (1) traditional hooves seem to be few & far between, and near-exclusively sported by males (Blueblood, Mac, etc.). (2) there's essentially zero visible texture difference between the average pony's 'hoof' & the rest of their hides.
Ergo, visible-cuticle hooves as we know 'em are either recessive (extra testosterone??) or a sexually dimorphic trait among poni, with the vast majority instead sporting a prehensile (and prune-able) sheath of epidermis. Which kinda-sorta explains how non-unicorns grip stuff, aside from tails & wings.
Contrived? Sure. But hey, dull memes are dull. Thanks for clearing up just what started said meme, BTW.
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Or it's just the art style. Either one works.
Speaking of melting hooves and Rarity, I do believe an Ask Rarity Jensen (Co-Starring Sweetie Belle) Tumblr would be in my writing ability. Or an Ask about Vaguely Alienated Cyborg Vinyl Scratch. Hard to determine which has more potential.
If only I was capable of drawing above sub-stick figure levels...
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Yeah, the wonky bio-babble just seemed more constructive than trying to explode 17.8 billion mouth-breathing meme-parrots with my mind. Present company excluded, natch.
Ah, yes, Deus Ex! Rarity. As noted prior, I'd read that. And however subpar your scrawling skills may seem, trust me: compared to my efforts they'd resemble friggin' Chuck Jones.
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I sincerely doubt that.
On the one hand, there'd be Rarity's love life (I like to imagine this Rarity, as a mechanic with not-inconsiderable military experience, would prefer to go au naturel makeup-wise, but she'd start looking more like canon!Rarity for dates), how she'd play off her little sister and the stoner dragon she works with (maybe they'd get some questions of their own?), and the simple laughs that would come with occasionally fumbling routine maintenance of her legs.
On the other hand, there's the thinkier issues of feeling like a stranger in your own body, the misfits you'd see working pwawty cloughbs ("So... what'd he say?" "Get me some spelunking gear. I'm going to get that stick out of Gustave's ass before I leave tonight, even if it kills me."), and... well, Scratch seems like she'd have fascinating daydreams. Bass cannons would just be the tip of that iceberg...
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Non-powdered-primped-and-styled Rarity intrigues me. For that matter, so does G.I. Jane-shaven Rarity, circa The War.
As for the Scratchy side of things, at some point she & Lyra can have an epic four-part transponism debate whilst splitting a gargantuan brick of weed. And as previously noted re: cyber-Rarity & booze, what's left of bio!Vinyl can only get baked to a metaphorical crisp. Visuals may or may not include Mecha-Octotavia with a technicolor pipe organ to infinity...for starters.
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Shit, I meant epidermis. And about half her dermis.
Those things had to go when she was grafted into her suit...
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Almost immediately, Spike joins in and the debate turns into a roundtable discussion on the merits and drawbacks of skul-guns . Not necessarily in chronological order.
I don't think the cutis adds as much body weight as legs do. Then again, eyes and lungs might even things out...
The idea of Rarity with a crew cut makes me smile too.
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"...so the Model 10's got all the stopping power you'd need, but that clunky side-clip slows ya down on the reload, plus the recoil's a stone nag."
"Yo, Scratch: peacetime, remember? If I need more than two 'r three shots, something's [1-800-SCOOT-A-WISH]ed up. 'Sides, if ya need kinks worked outta yer neck there's always the spa...and dem twins."
"Keep dreaming, man. Plus, don't you breathe fire? Whaddaya need with a head cannon?"
"A ranged weapon worth buck-all over fifty feet, that's what. 'Sides, flaming is hell on the lungs-why d'ya think the big ones don't talk?"
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Skul-guns don't exist. That is the joke. In any case, the discussion briefly moves to the potential applications of rocket-propelled chainsaws before everyone involved wanders off to get Funyuns.
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Which makes it all the funnier when these three start pulling details outta Teh Whutt(TM). Right?
Pointless side-note, given all her time behind a turntable, I can totally get behind Badonkadonk!Vinyl. Metaphorically. Y'know, when she hasn't been three-quarters cyborgized and whatnot.
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Damn right.
Also, Rarity going (at the same time as Sweetie Belle, ofc) to get her immunizations updated.
"So... okay, this is my first time with... something like this. Where do I..."
"Again with this... There's a vein on my left pectoral. Just let me apply some pressure... hurry, this makes that injury act up."
"Should I get-"
"Get. On. With. It."
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And just then Sweetie comes superballing down the corridor, emitting a continuous eardrum-popping squeal 'cuz needles are the Pony Devil(R). Said vein starts pulsating Ren Hoek style.
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"Hold on for a second..."
And then we find out that they only removed Rarity's weapons after The War; she can still go fast enough to warrant Six Million Dollar Man sounds playing while the scene plays in slow motion.
Later, on the subway ride home...
"Mom and Dad would've been so proud of you, Sweetie. It didn't hurt at all, did it?"
"No... Sis, I miss Mom and Dad."
"Me too. Me too."
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OK, that's it: on account of d'aww.
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That is to say, Rarity may or may not have needed to get up in the middle of the night and took that leg off so it would stay over Sweetie Belle.
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Yeah, how easy is it to attach/detach one of those suckers? Somewhere between field-stripping a rifle & opening an umbrella?
In the event that this still ties into the FiW-verse in any way aside from The War, Ponywise would make all too much sense. Next thing you know, Scoot'll be discovering her parents' suspiciously polka-dotted remains (plus, y'know, about eight dozen additional sacrifices) in that hillside passage beneath the Conversion Spa. Flutta got a lotta 'splainin' to do.
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's more like field stripping a 1911 .
And no, there's no sweet transvestites spider monsters disguised as clowns prowling about. The only other things from FiW that would make it in would be one eyed Pip and DT's embarrassing mother. Maybe a couple eye candy jokes.
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Then...
"Rarity? Can I sleep with you tonight?"
"What is it..."
"I had a dream that Dad was alive but he had turned into a clown. He was sticking to my window and waiting for me to fall asleep so he could come in to eat me and turn Opal into another clown."
"That's as good a reason as any to be scared..."
"And his mustache was made of tentacles."
And Sweetie Belle spent the night with a comforting carbon fiber and aluminum alloy leg on her shoulders. That may or may not have still been attached to Rarity the whole time.
Rarity's a light sleeper. Helpful trait in the trenches.
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curves does not mean that she's fat...
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Look at the size of that thing, good lord.
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Those puns And also Dat Rarity Flank But in seriousness your drawings are awesome, keep it up
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Further proves that valentine hearts look like tiny asses than actual hearts XD
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According to Cracked, they look like ballsacks. [link]
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Meh. It's all about perspective.
Perception is reality
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For some reason i have a craving for some marshmallows :I
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---
"...So, she looks over to her husband, then sets it back down in her lap and says, 'Honey, this one's eating my popcorn.'"- Agent K ("Men in Black", 1997)
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HA!!! You had me at those corny jokes xD
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Dear sweet lord I can only hope you'll keep drawing more massive pony flanks like these in the future
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Oh dear I'm developing a bad reputation for drawing pony butts aren't I? And starting to think there's no turning back now XP
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I'd say it's a good reputation personally. And hey, if something's working why buck the trend? XD
Seriously, nobody draws dat flank quite like I've seen you do it.
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Don't turn back now! Draw MORE...
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That thing is just begging to have a face smushed in the middle of it
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Marshmallows ARE delectable like that :V
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