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jphnx22 — Fallen Angel
Published: 2004-03-06 01:22:18 +0000 UTC; Views: 181408; Favourites: 4240; Downloads: 18590
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Description
Fallen AngelCrawling in my forlorn appearance
I hide my soul behind these tattered wings
Tattered and broken as they are
Plucked of light, stained in tears and blood.
In quiet despair upon the cold earth
Smeared in dirt I crouch upon my weary knees
And clutched timidly between my fingers
Rests one last jewel of Hope.
A single unblemished plume plucked
From the silver light of dawn
A feathered ray of light from beyond
To illuminate the void that has me bound.
This precious barb of silk
Once lost as I was and forgotten
Blazes now to immerse me in radiant bliss
To wash away the pain, draw me from the abyss.
So now I fade away…
My tender flesh removed
My shattered wings released
My inner light unsheathed… escapes.
(c)2004 Joseph Palladino
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Comments: 812
Wow that is really deep and very well written. I especially like the detail you put in to this piece the descriptive elements aswell. I thinks its really good and you did a great job
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*:+fave:s both cuz i dnt kno which i like better* lol, great job on both of these!
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idk. follow the link the artisit comment section to find out from the creator of the image
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Crawling in my forlorn appearance
I hide my soul behind these tattered wings
Tattered and broken as they are
Plucked of light, stained in tears and blood.
Your first verse just totally pulls you into it. Just wow...I think I'm going to go read it again. ^^
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i am truly wonderin' why this is rated so highly... seems like generic and emo to me.....
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i never expected to be so liked... and disliked, either
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Well, I like the idea. But I think it would be best if you stayed away from the cliches in this poem. The whole "fallen angel" and "shattered wings" and "jewel of hope". I like what you were going for, but I think there is much more inside of you than what came across in this. No offense. I like the poem. In a way.
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i understand ... but without those phrases, which make up the poem, what little would i have left, and what would replace the gaps???
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O whatever you wanted. It isnt that I want you to completely destroy the poem. Or even change it at all, these are just suggestions. But maybe look deeper into what you were saying and find a different way of expressing it. But this might actually be what you were trying to say, it just comes off as a little cliche. I still understand the poem, and I like it.
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this poem is pretty awful. lay off the overused imagery and melodramatic language, please.
i'm only being this harsh because everyone else has been kissing up to you and i think it's a bit absurd.
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how sweet and thoughtful
maybe you should look at when this piece was posted
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"Plucked of light, stained in tears and blood."
Wow. Tears and blood used in conjunction in a poem. I am astounded by your originality.
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...Ooooh, I adore this....quite excellent! ^__^
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dayam
thats incredible.
there really are no words to explain it.
thanx for that.
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wow....this is really beautiful. And I know because I looked up EVERY english word I didnt understand until I understood, and that were a lot of words ~.~
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translate:
Padlý Anděl
Plazící se v mém vlastním opuštěném zjevu
Skrývám moji duši za ty roztrhaná křídla
Roztrhaná a zničená jsou
Uříznuté světlem, uš
Osamělé zoufalství na studené podlaze
Potříštěn bahnem Já krčím se nad svými unavenými koleny
A mezi mými prsty
bázlivě sevřen můj poslední poklad Naděje
Poslední neposkvrněné pírko utrhnuto
Ze stříbrného světla úsvitu
Opeřený paprsek světla v dálce
Osvětluja prázdnotu, táhne mě z propasti
Tahle drahocená osina hedvábí
Ztrratí se, jen co budu zapomenut
Plane, aby mě potopilo do zářící blaženosti
Spláchnout bolest, vytáhnout mě z propasti
Tak, teď zvolna mizím
Mé smysly jsou odstraňovány
Mé rozbité křídla jsou uvolněny
Mé vnitřní světlo je objeveno....utíká
I don't know why.... Maybe I am bored. Maybe I will use your poem in my country, and I'll will see, how Czechs enjoy it.
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you are probebly starting to get tired of the same comment over and over again, but i really like this.
i cannot chose one part of it thats better, but i really like the ending.. its sad, but amazingly perfect
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oh my ...
~
no words can descibe how much i love this!
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Why Deathly Dave’s Soul Fell Apart
By: Autumn C
There once was a man named Deathly Dave,
Who was a bit of a shallow nave,
He hated any kind of person big or small,
Girl or boy it didn’t matter at all.
Dave would take these people home,
Only because he didn’t like being alone.
Though the people never knew his horrid intensions,
He had many ghastly and nasty inventions.
Dave showed these people his flying machine,
That made everyone he flew over give a murderous scream.
He liked to torture them just for fun,
And see these people’s lives be done.
He would fly through the night like the angel of death,
And kill the people that were once his friends.
However, Dave didn’t know that as he got older,
The killing was making his soul get colder.
Dave’s soul was able to finally run out,
When he recalled his final kill with doubt.
You see his last killing was somewhat different,
For he killed the love of his life, Millicent.
That final kill filled Dave with dread,
As he saw Millicent’s blood cold and red.
That love that he once had tore him apart,
And that is why Deathly Dave’s soul fell apart.
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Why would you post that?
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Wow, it's so awesome. ^_^ The photo fits as well.
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At first I thought this was going to be overly cliched but after the first stanza it picks up momentum and the ending is delviered really well.
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This is absolutely amazing. I can't believe. The poem... *sighs*
You have rendered me speechless.
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It was just beautifull...
Really sad and yet so....pretty[link]
Speechless
I love fallen angels
becuse they reamind me about us humans..
We fall from heaven but we wher to pure to go to hell...
And now we are walking, not knowing wher we shall go..
Til death finally finds us[link]
Pity
Well Im going to add this to my favs
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Now this poem is waay more detail than my poem that has the same title. Very good detail and it made me frown
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*So now I fade away...
My tender flesh removed
My shattered wings released
My inner light unsheathed... escapes.*
I wish to taint that poor angels wings white once again, but what am I to do when mine were made black?
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Help, I can't find my way out of the choker section!
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So much black, so much angst...
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Wow...sorry, but this really is just one giant cliche. This is not real poetry. It's...oh dear god, it's the most popular poem on the site. Oh god. Oh god. D:
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Thank God someone else recognized this.
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I know; it's depressing reading through all these other comments...
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I don't know what to think about the level of literacy here on DA... I think it's because most of the members are young teens or pre-teens.
(Random question: Are you steampunk? Because you seem to be. Ignore this question if you don't know what I mean, it's obscure.)
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Some people don't have an excuse though, well into their 20s and still using Leet speak.
And meh, I'm steampunk in spirit I guess, but that'd be about it since I don't have the skills to mod stuff. D: What made you think that, anyway?
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That's ridiculous. People should read 1984 and think a little bit about their chatspeech.
I saw your icon and the title of "Mad Scientist" on your page, so I thought "Maybe..."
I'm on the Steampunk Forums on Brass Goggles.
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i never expected it to be where it is and besides not everyone does like it, but enough do...
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That's exactly my point; that the ones who don't know anything about real poetry outnumber the ones who do know at least some of it. It's actually pretty sobering...especially when most are from my own generation, which is also degrading.
How in god's name did you get so many people to read it, anyway?
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real poetry?
is there even such a thing?
the very beauty of poetry is its many faceted nature.
don't be so hard up because what you like isn't what others like. even poetry is subjective to differing tastes.
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