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Life Event Two
Equality

Week 3 Day 24 5:02am

Crap, crap, crap, crap, okay. Slowly open the door. Avoid the creak about a third way opeeeen. Ueeeehhhh, I'm in! Success, now to get to my ro—

"Where've you been?" A deep voice spoke behind me as I tensed up and slowly turned back to my dad. He was pulling on the white coat that people of his profession are always wearing.

"I… Fell asleep at a friend's house… I'm sorry." I whimpered.

"Uh huh. Anything else you'd like to tell me?" He crossed his arms and glared down at me.

"Ah, I'm serious! That's all that happened. I was at a new friend's house,"

"New friend's house?" He questioned.

"Uh, yeah. His name is Dodge, he's into computers and stuff." I said feeling the pressure of my Dad's curiosity beginning to grow.

"Well, you're lucky right now. I need to get to work, but we'll be talking more later." He then sighed and leaned down. "You're mother was drinking again so call me if you need me." I nodded. He patted me on the back then walked by me and left the house. My Grandma died not too long ago, after that my mom started drinking. Everything basically collapsed… She made me and my sister miserable. My dad was gone for 15 hours most days. When we're home she's screaming and upset. I cook. My sister cleans. We take care of my mom while my dad pays the bills. She drives us places, once in a while.

I slowly crept upstairs, each step squeaked gently as the weight of my body pushed down on it, even as I tried to support myself on the railing pulling my body up with my arms it didn't stop the seventh step from crying out. I tensed up again and listened intently. Silence. I finished the last five steps hastily and went to my room and jumped into bed.

"Close call…" I whispered to myself then looked over to my computer. Then realized the keyboard was missing.

…

Week 3 Day 24 5:55am

"Do you have heart problems?"

"No."

"Diabetes?"

"Pre-diabetic."

"Do you take any medication for it?"

"No."

"Do you have any other health concerns we should know about?" The police lady behind a desk, behind a small brick wall asked as she typed in questions. My hands and feet were shackled, I was patted down, my phone and wallet removed. The other people behind me. Drunks. Gang members. People I didn't belong with.

"I have a hypothyroid. I take levothyroxin." I sighed.

"Okay, anything else?"

"No."

"Alright, come on." The officer behind me said and gently tugged me. I followed as he led me to a small metal sliding door and opened it up to a small room with over twenty people. "You should be happy, usually when you're taken the way you were you go right to a high security lock up." He smiled. I looked back at him.

"Happy?" I said with a dark smile and walked into the cell. He stared at me in an odd way, the hair on his neck looked like it was standing up, then he closed the door. I looked around. I felt like I was going to be raped, and I wasn't even in prison yet.

"What you in for?" A white man called over to me, everyone in the room looked to him, then the other half looked at me, everyone else went back to minding their own business.

"I clicked download a few hundred times." I admitted and walked over to an opening on the bench and stared at it.

"What you lookin at?" The man next to the spot said to me, I looked up to him. Hispanic, he looked more scared and defensive than anything.

"Was spacing off." I groaned and went to the wall at the back of the room and leaned against it.

"So when do I get my call?" A black man asked the white guy who had called out to me.

"You haven't already? Then you won't be getting it for a while." He admitted with a slight chuckle.

"I once saw on that show, jail, or something, that you get to make a call before you get placed in here, why didn't they do that? I want my phone call man." Another Hispanic man said in a distressed way. Half of the people I here were covered in tattoos, twitching like they were high, or looked drunk. I and the white man who talked to me were the only ones who looked relatively normal.

"We'll all get the call eventually I imagine, they have to give it to us." I said.

"Wrong." The white man spoke up. "The personnel here aren't the greatest. You'll be lucky to get close to a phone before they lock you up."

"Isn't that illegal?" I questioned.

"Not after that new law passed a few weeks back along with that international one about monitoring the internet." He explained, I recognized what he was talking about, I had heard controversy about its interpretations.

"Ugh. I love the government." I glared at the metal door when it slid open and in front of it walked a man dressed as if he were from the early 90's as a father. A fleece vest tucked into slacks. He looked around the room then instantly zeroed in on me.

"You Dodge Lutz?"

"Yeah?" I responded.

"Come here. You're gonna like what I have to tell you." The man said and walked out of sight, I walked to the door and came out to see him waiting for me to go to him. I stood where I was for a moment and examined him, black shades, was he from the government? I walked over to him and stopped in front of him.

"So, you clicked a mouse a few hundred times and here you are." He began.

"Yeah, that's about right." I nodded.

"You seem oddly calm about all of this." He looked me over.

"Oh, yeah. This way I have only one responsibility. Survival, in prison. No more bills. No more women. No more work. Just. Prison." He looked at me and lowered his shades revealing brown eyes.

"Son, I hate to burst your bubble, but you ain't going to prison for life like originally projected."

My eyes grew wide. What does this even mean? What did that sentence even mean? I'm not going to prison for life? Then what? 50 years like the owner of Megaupload? 20 years? How long? HOW LONG DO I GET TO ROT IN YOUR OVERPOPULAED SEWAGE SYSTEM CALLED PRISON?!

"You have a clean record. Pay bills, work. Go to school. You have a kid. You have a life, a potential life too. The prison's in this country are so backed up a plumber wouldn't get fifty feet near those pipes kid. An agent that was overlooking your… File." My life? "Saw that you're not to really deserve to rot away. You were caught shoplifting once, and you never did it again. As I said you look responsible, so. Here's what's going to happen. You're going to move into an apartment complex chosen by my boss. You'll attend full time school, and you'll need to get a better paying job. Because you'll need to pay for everything on your own. We can arrange for all of this, all you need to do is comply. You'll be on permanent probation. If you get caught performing an illegal act, minus some minor traffic violations, you'll be sent to prison, for life."

I'm hearing a blaring noise, like my ears are ringing. What. The. Fuck.

I stared at him, my face reflected on his shades. He stared back at me.

This went on for what felt to be an entire minute before he tilted his head away slightly.

"You see bothered."

I broke my gaze and blinked several times.

"Why?" I asked without really meaning to.

"Why? You must've been in shock. Can't blame you. This will NEVER happen again, you are a once in a life time deal kid."

"Why me though? Why am I being exempt from Ju— The law?"

"Ah. I don't know, someone high up looks over the international crimes committed, piracy is an international law. He saw you, looked at your life. You're not like all the other anonymous guys, you're also not a dead fish in the world of opportunity. I think the truth is he took a look at your skill set, and your therapists reports, all nineteen of their reports actually."

Yeah, nineteen therapists… Not too proud of that.

"Digital Film Major, Media Arts Major at the Art Institute. IT Major now, several classes deep into Psychology, Creative Writing, and Business. Novel writer. Artist. Technician. Digital Art expertise, self taught yourself how to use Photoshop. Several pieces of work to prove it. If you were bilingual and had a simple internship you could get hired at Intel or Cisco easy. Instead you've been jerking off to porn, fucking girls, and staying at dead beat jobs. You've got a plethora of potential."

"Stop complimenting me." I sighed and shook my head. "So what happens now?" I sighed. I couldn't think, this was all too much… Why me? It's all I could think. Why me? Why… Me?

"You're going to be released, you need to pack up your apartment, you're lease has been altered to end tomorrow at 7pm. By then you'll be moved in to your new home near your new job. Your job will start in three days, you'll be shown where it is and what you'll be doing. Listen, Dodge. You look pale. The Government is taking over your life. Be productive and give back to society. It's why you're being chosen, you have something to give."

"Yeah… Okay…" I responded and looked down to the floor. I have something to give?

I didn't realize it just then. This something I had to give. What it would be. I had an unconscious idea. One that began to fester and grow so violently it frightened me, but amazed me, and I never knew what it was. This gnawing feeling in the back of my head. I have something to give. To society. I have something to give. Something.

What is it?

…

Week 3 Day 24 7:12am

"MASOOOON!" My mom's voice flung across the house as my eyes flew open and I jumped out of bed and ran down the stairs and got into the front room when my mom stood in front of an open door, two police officers were at the door. I felt my heart erupt and adrenaline go across my veins.

"W-whats happening?" I stuttered.

"We have some questions to ask you. Do you know a kid by the name of Jason Stockholm?" My mom glared at me, her eyes were bloodshot and her hair frizzled. I walked to the door.

"Uh, yeah. He bullied my sister." BULLIED? WHY DID I SAY IT IN THE PAST TENSE?! FUCK, OH FUCK, THEY KNOW, THEY KNOW I FRAMED HIM NOW!

"Hm, do you know that he's in jail right now for possession of a controlled substance?" The officer asked, I stared at him like a deer looking into headlights.

"N-no, I mean, yeah, yeah." I stuttered, what do I say?

"How do you know?" He asked me now.

"I-I, my sister found out and told me. Wait. I mean. Not my sister, my friend, of my sister. Uhh…" I looked down terrified now. It's so obvious.

"Hey, you okay kid?" The other officer stepped closer now.

"No… I'm scared…" I felt tears forming in my eyes.

"Why?" He asked now. Here it comes. They're going to arrest me…

"I don't know…"

"Uh huh…" The officer sighed and the other one took front.

"Jason tells us you framed him."

"WHAT?!" My mom screeched into my ear causing me to jerk away from her.

"He says you drove the truck up to him, then threw him the remote. Now, we don't usually buy that kind of thing but his parent's hired a Private Investigator. They looked up the truck's serial number, traced it back to a store, it was bought only recently and with cash. But the store owner identified a kid strikingly similar to you." He brought his hands to his sides. "Mason, where did you get the meth?" He asked causing me to turn white as paper.

"Yeah you little monster. Answer the officer!" My mom growled at me.

"I…"

"Stop. We're fairly certain it's you. If we need to take you to the store to verify it with the manager who sold you the truck we will."

"My Dad." I said.

"Excuuuuse me?" My mom leaned back now surprised. The officers looked at each other.

"Your father?" He asked.

"Yeah… He keeps a stash under his desk in a little hidden away compartment… I found it a few months ago but didn't know what it was until I watched Breaking Bad… I'm sorry! I didn't know what else to do! He would pick on my sister EVERY SINGLE DAY and no one would help! I tried to make him stop but he didn't… I just, took the law into my own hands and I shouldn't have… I'm sorry, I won't ever do it again! I swear!" I looked up to the officers, my eyes were pouring out tears.

"Heh. Okay, listen up. We're going to take you down to the station, you're not getting charged anything this time. But we want you to give the guy an apology. Got it?"

AN APOLOGY?! But none of this would have happened if he didn't bully my sister! Suddenly my shoulder was hit hard by my mom.

"Go apology you little piece of scum." She snarled at me then walked away and went upstairs. My mouth was gaped open, I was terrified, what was happening? She's leaving me? I looked to the officers.

"Hmm. Come on, Mason." He waved me to follow. I did, I walked shamefully with my head slumped down and got to their cruiser, and was seated in the backseat.

"Mason, how old are you and your sister?" The other officer asked as he sat in the passenger seat then turned to looked back at me.

"I'm 15. She's only 12…" I mumbled.

"Does your mother always treat you like that?" He asked in a concerned manner.

I couldn't answer that. I didn't know what to say.

"I see. Does she treat your little sister that way?"

I stared at my legs and slowly nodded. Remembering all the times she'd come into my room to get away from my mom, how we'd lock my door and she'd spend hours screaming and hitting things.

"Uh huh. Listen, Mason, you don't seem like a bad kid, just a little misguided. It's why we're letting you off with just this. It looks like you have your own problems at home, don't ever be afraid to call CPS, Mason." He was staring right at me as we turned off my street and onto the main road.

"Do you understand?" He asked.

"Yeah, but I can't… I can't put my sister through foster care…" What's with this? Good cop bad cop? Or…

"Listen, there's not a lot anyone can do, it's just a suggestion, I'm trying to help you." He said firmly causing me to look up at him.

"Help me?" Help me…? You're bringing me to a police station to admit to my little sister's bully that I tried to ruin his life… How is that going to help me?

"Yes. Now think about what you're going to say. It better be good." He scoffed and turned around facing the front now. I simply lowered my head.

Dodge. What would you do in my situation? Would you voice the unfairness of all this? What would you do…

…

Week 3 Day 24 7:37am

"Hey, Jason." I said quietly. I was seated directly across him in a small room, an officer to our side, a small table between us, it was an interrogation room. His glare at me, he was going to kill me, he was really going to kill me. His eyes were furious, his brow was hunched down so low it formed its own frown in a scary kind of way.

"I… Eh. Ah. I'm…" My voice was shaking, I was terrified, what was he going to do now? How would he retaliate at me for trying to ruin his life?

"What." He simply said and it caused the hair on my neck to raise, but not of fear, but anger. Or perhaps a combination. Yes. It was a combination, of everything. That I had to do this, that it came down to this because no one else would help, and now I am being punished for being a retaliating victim.

"I'm sorry about… The meth, and framing you. I didn't know what else to do, you wouldn't stop bullying my sister."

"SO YOU TRIED TO RUIN MY LIFE?!" His voice roared echoing across the room several times as he slammed his fists down into the table causing me to jerk back.

"Hey! Watch it." The officer in the room pointed to Jason who never looked away from me, steam of anger may as well have been coming from his mouth as he snarled and growled under his voice, his lip curled up slightly giving him a feral look of anger.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done it. You don't deserve that." I sighed and looked away.

"You better pray." He said and leaned back and crossed his arms. "You better, pray." Is all he said and went silent.

"Alright, I think that's enough, let's get you two out of here." The officer sighed.

…

Week 3 Day 24 12:37pm

I walked into my leasing office, albeit slowly and cautiously. Almost shamefully but held out my chest to dissuade such a look and saw Chris, one of the manager's.

"Oh Dodge, I meant to come see you, we need to talk about your lease." He stood up but I held up my hands.

"Yeah, I was arrested, on site. Premises for termination and eviction." I said knowing full well what that would do to my credit, but I didn't have a choice.

"Actually about that. Two men stopped by right as we were opening, one was a police officer, the other was some kind of government agent. They said the apartment was wrongfully broken into, you were wrongfully arrested and that they were here to pay off your lease in return for completing it tomorrow at 7pm."

I stared at him, my weary eyes were bewildered, but hidden behind dreariness.

"I'm not getting evicted?" I asked just to be sure.

"Nope. You're one lucky kid!" He said and sat down, pulled out some papers and began to go through them. "I hope everything goes alright though. If people heard you were wrongfully arrested it might be hard to get anywhere."
I was out the door by the time he finished his sentence. I looked back and saw him looking up confused. I treaded irritably to the back of the complex where my apartment was, I walked along the sidewalk and got to the small tucked away area behind a case of stairs where my door was. Before I was even in front of it I saw the debris. As I stepped in front of it I planted myself in front of the doorway and glared at it. The wreckage. My home. Destroyed. My life. Taken. Now what am I? A slave. The sound of the door behind me opened and a subtle gasp.

"Oh my." My neighbor said, she apparently didn't hear them break down the door this morning. "What happened?" She asked and stepped out and looked over my shoulder and then down to me. I lowered my head and shook it.

"Got arrested." I said and walked into the door, the sound of wood crackling under my shoes rang out as I stepped in and saw my computer where it had been left, the download still on infinity time until completion.

"What? But, why are you here then?" She asked peaking her head in.

"They let me go. I have potential to have a life. I just can't have my own life." I sighed and walked into the bedroom and began looking for bags and baggage to pack my stuff.

…

Week 3 Day 24 2:03pm

School ended. I'm on the bus. Next to me is my friend, Alice. We were going to see Yuri when we got off at our stop.

"So." She said and stopped. Her signature trademark for breaking the awkward silences of mine.

"You know." I looked out the window. What was going to happen? I could feel this intense pressure on my shoulders, like karma had built up and was simply waiting to strike me down. I didn't know what else to do but bear it. Nothing else could be done.

"Why did you do it?"

"I don't know. It was a bad decision, and now I'll live with the consequences and guilt knowing I almost ruined someone's life." I admitted and turned to face her. She was looking at me sadly.

"Okay." She simply said and turned on her music, and put in her headphones.

…

Week 3 Day 24 2:20pm

"Mason!" Yuri ran up to me as Alice and I walked through an alleyway towards her house, she had come to meet us half way. I walked up to her to hug her and instead was met with a slap to my face.

"You idiot." She sighed and then hugged me.

"Yeah, I am." I shook my head disappointedly and buried my face into Yuri's hair.

"So what should we do?" Alice asked.

"I have an idea." Yuri said but I quickly pulled away.

"I, I think I'm going to just, go home maybe." A sudden fear struck me when I looked up and saw Jason walk by the end of the alleyway. Did he know I was here? Did he see me?

"Wait, why?" Yuri asked as she looked back, but I simply shook my head. "I need to go, I'll text you." I quickly stepped back and began walking quickly away. I need to get out of here, he'll seriously kill me, he told me to pray, it was totally a threat, and he looked serious. I got to the street and walked across it into another alleyway.

I can't confront him, he'll beat me to a bloody pulp, my mangled and broken body, my crushed and bruised face will be all anyone will remember about me. My little sister will be alone, left with my drunk of a mother and inattentive father. I'll just go home, it'll be safe there. I turned a corner in the alleyway and when a girl turned into the alleyway at the end and stared at me for a bit, freezing in place. She was on her cell phone and seemed agitated. I gave her a small gentle wave, only I didn't wave my hand, I only held it up as if to say 'uh, hiiii?' and lowered it. She was talking on the phone a bit, I couldn't hear her. Before I got into hearing range she hung up and leaned against the wall.

"H-hi." I said as I walked by.

"Hey, you got any cigarettes?" She asked causing me to stop.

"Cigarettes?" I looked her over. She must have been only fourteen, younger than my sister. A year younger than me.

"Yeah, I could really use one." She stood up off the wall now.

"I'm sorry, no, I don't smoke." I stepped away a little and began walking.

"Wait, what if I gave you money?" She asked and ran to me grabbing my hand.

"Ah, I'm sorry, I don't have any." I said but she simply stared into my eyes then shoved my hand against her crotch.

"Uh!" I looked down surprised.

"What about if I did this?"

Red flag erupted through my head, something was wrong. This isn't normal. This is bad. I tried to pull my hand away but suddenly she yanked my into her then fell backwards causing me to fall on top of her.

"W-what are you doing?!" I yelled as she held onto my shirt and started flailing around and then began to scream.

"HELP MEE!" She screeched into my ear as she held tightly on my shirt.

"St-Stop! Let go of mee!" I yelled as I tried to pull away.

"HELP, RAAPE! HE'S TRYING TO RAPE ME!"

"WHAT?!" I gasped and suddenly a police car drove up into the alleyway, I looked back as the officer jumped out.

Oh no.

"Get on the ground, Mason!"

Oh God, no! No! I'm being framed!

She suddenly kicked me onto my side and got off the ground and ran behind the officer crying.

"Get on the ground! Hands above your head!" I recognized his voice as the officer who told me to call CPS this morning.

"I'm being framed! I swear to God!" I yelled as I got on my stomach and put my hands above my head.

"Shut up kid! I knew you were a rotten punk the moment you I met you, do you and your sister have a relationship too?!" He screamed and mounted over me pulling my hands behind my back and handcuffing me.

"What?! No! I'm serious! I wasn't trying to rape her! She was holding me down by my shi—"

"Shut the fuck up! That's my girlfriend you piece of shit!" Jason's voice suddenly appeared as he walked next to me.

You can't be serious.
I looked into his eyes, in them was pure hatred for me. I looked to his girlfriend, she wasn't crying, a half smile flung across her face for but a second as she looked at me.

It was planned. I was moved up onto my feet and dragged into the police cruiser.
It was all planned. This is revenge. Payback.

"Karma, bitch." Jason growled at me just before the police door closed.

Karma. Kaaarmaa…
Tears welled up in my eyes. I was defeated, before I had a chance to even defend myself. I would go to jail, be labeled a sex offender, I wouldn't be allowed to see my little sister, I might be disowned… I can never get a good job, I'll never get a decent home. My life is over.

He killed my life. He ended it before it begun, he was let free and now… Now…
Now he's ending mine. Pray, he said. The least he could have done is kill me, but now…

…

Week 3 Day 24 5:05pm

My phone was vibrating all day. Text after text after text of people wondering what was happening, word spread fast.

'You were arrested?'
'They paid your lease off?'
'You need to live where they want you to live?'
'Permanent Probation? What does that mean?'
'You're not a felon? A convict?'

What am I? What can you call me, Dodge Lutz? I sat in the middle of my soon to no longer be mine apartment, boxes packed, everything packed. I stared at the wall blankly. My mind raced millions of miles. Texts, thoughts. I have something to give to the world.

You can take my life, my future. You can tell me what I can and cannot do. You can end my free will and still tell me I am Dodge Lutz. Yet, I can't even go out to the store, and buy a beer? I can't make anything out of my life except for what you want. Because I have something to give to society?

I have something to give.

What is it? This nagging feeling. I have something worth giving to the world. Something to give. Nothing else and yet everything else came to mind.

My phone suddenly buzzed more intensely than usual, I looked down to Kinzie's name and opened the text.

'knock knock'

I looked up to the doorway and there she was, in skinny jeans and a black tee shirt.

"Heey." She said softly, I stared at her with dark eyes as my mouth was agape slightly, like an autistic man in an angry state of mind. I was glaring right through her. "Are you okay?" She asked and stepped into the apartment slowly.

I simply tilted my head a little then smiled.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?" This smile on my face. Felt natural in a gruesome sort of way.

"Oh. Well. Do you know where you'll be living?" She asked and I shook my head with this sad plastered on mask of a smile.

"No. I don't, I will when I show up. I also have a new job." I leaned back, the smile never leaving me.

"Oh, well that's good news isn't it?" She asked and sat down next to me.

"There's no room for positive thinking in me right now. I'm so full of fuck, it's incredible." I muttered quietly.

"Dodge, I'm sorry. I'll visit you if you want."

"Don't do out of your way, now let me be. You shouldn't be around me. I'm a monster." I looked at her and felt as if I was giving her a seductive look, something she tilted her head to and gave me a confused look then simply shook her head.

"Yeah, well. I don't think you're a monster, just a misunderstood man. I'll keep in touch…" She put her hand on my arm and waited for me to respond, only I didn't. Then she simply stood up and left.

Yeah. A misunderstood man. Misunderstood. I have something to give. I need more… I need to understand more. Something to give, misunderstood. It's like a puzzle… Slowly coming together. I need more. I need to know more. What aren't I grasping? This feeling. I need. I need to get rid of it. This.

I'm not a misunderstood man.

No. Not if I have anything to say about it… Oh, wait. I don't… Coasting through life, no ability to choose my own path. No choice in what happens. Simply adhering to the universe and following it like an obedient little slave. Is this the life I want? Was it ever the life I wanted?

…

Week 3 Day 24 9:59pm

Eight hours later. Here I am. Home. All ready. Not locked up, no juvenile detention. I am a delinquent. I had no real trial. My word versus her's. Of course. The girl won. I was recently let go for framing her boyfriend for possession of meth. Then suddenly I tried to rape a girl too. It was a beautiful picture painted for a jury.

I am a manipulating, lying, ungrateful, disrespectful monster, a chauvinistic pig, a sex freak, who has a thing for his younger sister and an uncontrollable sexual urge.

ME.

That is ME. Mason Mathews. Sex offender. The sound of the ruling. Only spared prison time because it was apparent that I had not raped her, and was only in the proceeding act leading up to rape. No probation, only a sex offender.

I sat in my room facing my computer. A hole in the monitor, glass all across my desk from my mom throwing her beer bottle into it. Alcohol sloshed across the floor. My little sister hasn't even come in to see me, she refuses to see me… I'm the worst thing according to our mother.

I am the worst thing.

ME.

I'm in a daze. Staring at this madness. My world, and my life. Crumbling apart, falling down, crushing and shattering, breaking and disintegrating to something less than dust.

I am the very thing people have nightmares of. The very essence of madness and turmoil in the world, people like me shouldn't be allowed to live. People like me deserve to die.

ME. Mason Mathews, deserves to die.
Because society has inaccurately portrayed me, as a monster.

Me. A monster.