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Dear Adult-Me,

Well, here goes attempt number three. Let's start with some basics, so you can remember what it was like:

1). I am not, and hopefully will never be, normal. I am weird, I am silly, and most of the time, I make no sense. (Also, I hope you're not still trying to be funny, because you aren't. You talk too fast, and no one gets it. Sorry to burst your bubble.)

2). I am not, and probably will never be, skinny. Say it with me: "I am overweight". Don't look back with shame, because I didn't do anything wrong. I eat my vegetables and my fruits. I don't overeat, either, which is probably what everyone else thinks, but you'll have to get back to me on that.

3). Here's a list of cool things: hipster glasses, action movies, bowties and suspenders, Doctor Who, the Civil Wars, Mumford and Sons. (Note: The list is not in order. If it were, Doctor Who would be first. Also, I didn't wear any of the mentioned wearable items, they're just cool.)

4).To sum up the rest: I'm kind of smart. I want to be ranked number one in my grade, and I hope that happens. I'm also somewhat talented. Or rather, I've somehow tricked the people around me into thinking I'm talented. I suck at athletics, in case you didn't pick that up in #2. I'm also diehard liberal, but I hate arguing with crazy people, and I'm surrounded by crazy Republicans, so I try not to talk about it much.

Boy, I hope you're remembering clearly, because I've run out of things to say on that front. At any rate, the only other thing I wanted to do was give you some advice, though you might not need it. I hope you don't need it, and can totally handle this whole "life" thing by yourself, without the help of this teenager who, comparatively, knows nothing. Just in case, here goes:

I always wanted you to be great. I hope when you read this, that sentence gives you joy rather than bringing to mind all your failures. I hope you get into a fantastic college and travel abroad and love life. Keep these goals in mind when you do anything, whether it's your shitty job or your three-hour lecture. Don't do anything I wouldn't do; that doesn't give you a lot of limitations, so I hope you can stay within those boundaries, or we may have bigger issues.

Don't sweat the little stuff, because you know in your head that it doesn't matter. And know the difference; having a beer is little, but getting so drunk you pass out is not. Dating a guy who sucks is little, but getting married to a guy who sucks is not. Waking up late is little, but being late to an important engagement is not. Always remember that big picture (and by the way, if you ever figure out what that is, I'm dying to know!).

You should know that friends matter more than guys. Just remember Maria; she always felt like she needed a guy and completely ignored you or was moody all the time. DON'T DO THAT. PLEASE.

Try not to offend anyone. If they deserve it, then of course that's a different story. Then you can slap 'em with your verbal wit and ironic statements they won't understand. Obscure literary references help, too.

Your parents...they want to do right by you. I know I doubt that statement every other second, but it's true. Also, try to keep in mind that you mother accepts your political views more than your father, and you have similar wits. Dad is good for going to movies with. As for your siblings, Jordan's probably your best bet. I'm assuming David will have the mental state of a chipmunk for the rest of his life, and you never got along with Ben. If you really want my advice on that guy, don't try to make up with him. It may sound resentful, but he's really not the kind of person you want to go to great lengths to be around.

And with that, advice time with teenage-you is over! Do you feel wise? You should! Now don't screw it up. Just keep in mind, all I want you to do is be awesome. Create positive change in the world and never be ashamed of yourself. You worked hard for this.

With love,

Teenage-You

Description
Dear Adult-Me,

Well, here goes attempt number three. Let's start with some basics, so you can remember what it was like:

1). I am not, and hopefully will never be, normal. I am weird, I am silly, and most of the time, I make no sense. (Also, I hope you're not still trying to be funny, because you aren't. You talk too fast, and no one gets it. Sorry to burst your bubble.)

2). I am not, and probably will never be, skinny. Say it with me: "I am overweight". Don't look back with shame, because I didn't do anything wrong. I eat my vegetables and my fruits. I don't overeat, either, which is probably what everyone else thinks, but you'll have to get back to me on that.

3). Here's a list of cool things: hipster glasses, action movies, bowties and suspenders, Doctor Who, the Civil Wars, Mumford and Sons. (Note: The list is not in order. If it were, Doctor Who would be first. Also, I didn't wear any of the mentioned wearable items, they're just cool.)

4).To sum up the rest: I'm kind of smart. I want to be ranked number one in my grade, and I hope that happens. I'm also somewhat talented. Or rather, I've somehow tricked the people around me into thinking I'm talented. I suck at athletics, in case you didn't pick that up in #2. I'm also diehard liberal, but I hate arguing with crazy people, and I'm surrounded by crazy Republicans, so I try not to talk about it much.

Boy, I hope you're remembering clearly, because I've run out of things to say on that front. At any rate, the only other thing I wanted to do was give you some advice, though you might not need it. I hope you don't need it, and can totally handle this whole "life" thing by yourself, without the help of this teenager who, comparatively, knows nothing. Just in case, here goes:

I always wanted you to be great. I hope when you read this, that sentence gives you joy rather than bringing to mind all your failures. I hope you get into a fantastic college and travel abroad and love life. Keep these goals in mind when you do anything, whether it's your shitty job or your three-hour lecture. Don't do anything I wouldn't do; that doesn't give you a lot of limitations, so I hope you can stay within those boundaries, or we may have bigger issues.

Don't sweat the little stuff, because you know in your head that it doesn't matter. And know the difference; having a beer is little, but getting so drunk you pass out is not. Dating a guy who sucks is little, but getting married to a guy who sucks is not. Waking up late is little, but being late to an important engagement is not. Always remember that big picture (and by the way, if you ever figure out what that is, I'm dying to know!).

You should know that friends matter more than guys. Just remember Maria; she always felt like she needed a guy and completely ignored you or was moody all the time. DON'T DO THAT. PLEASE.

Try not to offend anyone. If they deserve it, then of course that's a different story. Then you can slap 'em with your verbal wit and ironic statements they won't understand. Obscure literary references help, too.

Your parents...they want to do right by you. I know I doubt that statement every other second, but it's true. Also, try to keep in mind that you mother accepts your political views more than your father, and you have similar wits. Dad is good for going to movies with. As for your siblings, Jordan's probably your best bet. I'm assuming David will have the mental state of a chipmunk for the rest of his life, and you never got along with Ben. If you really want my advice on that guy, don't try to make up with him. It may sound resentful, but he's really not the kind of person you want to go to great lengths to be around.

And with that, advice time with teenage-you is over! Do you feel wise? You should! Now don't screw it up. Just keep in mind, all I want you to do is be awesome. Create positive change in the world and never be ashamed of yourself. You worked hard for this.

With love,

Teenage-You