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Description

Is he as prickly and crass as a literal cactus?
Does it look like said cactus is always stuck up his ass?
Does he have the coldest, serious and mean face known to man?
But is he like also hella confident and/or cocky?
Is he morally (dark) grey?
Does he have arched/dramatic eyebrows?

If your blorbo matches most of these, then congratulations! He is now mine, hand him over.

Description

Is he as prickly and crass as a literal cactus?
Does it look like said cactus is always stuck up his ass?
Does he have the coldest, serious and mean face known to man?
But is he like also hella confident and/or cocky?
Is he morally (dark) grey?
Does he have arched/dramatic eyebrows?

If your blorbo matches most of these, then congratulations! He is now mine, hand him over.