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Description
The Moon Over Rigga


Cervantes: (sitting in her quarters in a large armchair at the fireplace, looking over some papers in her lap)... Damn. Spending for assorted repairs has skyrocketed this month.

Christiano: (appears in the room, climbing out of the fire in the fireplace)

Cervantes: (obviously startled) Jesus Marion Jones!! (lurches out of her chair, and stands behind it)

Christiano: (laughs as he crawls out of the fire, stands, and puts out a small fire on his pant leg) Got you good that time, didn't I? (grins)

Cervantes: (glares at him) What the hell is wrong with you?! You're lucky I don't break your spine and shove your face into that fire!!

Christiano: (grins even wider) Awww, I really did scare you. The fearless Captain getting spooked by her ex-husband coming out of the fireplace. That's a riot.

Cervantes: Fuck you, you damn ape!! (obviously more angered) Now get the hell out of my quarters!

Christiano: (continuing to taunt her) Oooh, you thought I was damn sexy before. What happened?... Oh wait. You married that prude you call a husband.

Cervantes: (her eyes start on fire with rage) How dare you insult Quatre like that, you son of a bitch!!!? I'll snap your head clean off your shoulders!!

Christiano: (not even phased by the anger being directed at him) Bah. You just need to get laid by someone who knows what they're doing. (crosses his arms and waggles his eyebrows at her)

Cervantes: (so enraged she can barely speak) How...!!!? You damn...!!! I'd never...!! BASTARD!

Christiano: (further taunts her) You know you waaant tooo! My ass always was your favorite part. (grins) Want a reminder? (turns his back to Cervantes and moons her, playfully shaking his ass at her)

Cervantes: (her head twitches before the flame in her eyes turns blue, and she leaps over the chair to tackle Christiano)

Christiano: (turns around, pulling his pants back up, and catches her as she tries to tackle him, holding her up in the air in front of him) You're losing your edge, Captain. You missed.

Cervantes: I'm gonna kill you fifteen times before you get to hit the ground, you nasty ass-lancing bastard!!! (reaches forward, grabs his shoulders, and starts sinking her fingers into them, piercing his skin, and tearing through muscle)

Christiano: (severely cringing in pain) Damn, woman! Are you trying to rip those out, or do you want me that badly?!

      (Cut to an image of Cervantes' door outside her quarters, an explosion is heard, followed by immense amounts of shouting, screaming, and very loud banging noises)

Ethos: (sitting in the hall near Cervantes' quarters, looking nervous, and holding her plushie against her tightly) Uhhhmmm... (calls out) Minoda!!?... Damian!??... They fighting agaaaiin, and it sounds really bad this time!

      (A huge dent is made in Cervantes' door)

Ethos: Eeek!!!

Damian: (walks through the wall beside Ethos, and stands there for a moment, listening to all the noise, and studying the dent in the door)... (folds his arms) I'm staying the hell out of this one. There is no way I'm going in there to try to break that up.

Ethos: (full of child-like confusion) But...?

Minoda: (strolls into the hallway looking prepaired to encounter much violence, but that look slowly fades as he gets closer to the door) Ahh, man. Are we actually going to do this?? (looking at Damian with a "have pity" expression)

Damian: Oh no. We're sitting this one out, my friend.

Minoda: (wipes his forehead in relief) Phew!... Shall we go have a beer in the lounge then?

Damian: (grins) We shall! (picks Ethos up by her head in one hand, and puts her up on his shoulder) Come along too, little one. You don't need to be hearing all that. (walks off with Minoda down the hall)

      (As the three turn down another hall, Cervantes' door explodes off its hinges and slams into the wall across the hallway. Smoke and dust pour out of the doorway, and the severely mangled upper torso of Christiano is seen trying to claw his way out of the room with only one arm still attached)

Christiano: (panting heavily, and looking very frantic) For fuck's sake!! Someone, HELP ME!!

Cervantes: (steps on the torso with one of her heavy boots, pinning him down and grinning at him, holding his other arm in her hand) Oh no you don't! I'm not done with you yet! (takes a bite out of the arm in her hand, and swallows the chunk of flesh whole) I'm far from being done with you!!

Christiano: (watches in horror as Cervantes eats a chunk of his severed arm) You're insane woman!!!

Cervantes: You're damn right I am!! Now get your ass back into the room so I can dismember you some more!!! (uses the foot she already has on the torso to kick him back into the room and against the back wall of the room)

Fin'!

Description
The Moon Over Rigga


Cervantes: (sitting in her quarters in a large armchair at the fireplace, looking over some papers in her lap)... Damn. Spending for assorted repairs has skyrocketed this month.

Christiano: (appears in the room, climbing out of the fire in the fireplace)

Cervantes: (obviously startled) Jesus Marion Jones!! (lurches out of her chair, and stands behind it)

Christiano: (laughs as he crawls out of the fire, stands, and puts out a small fire on his pant leg) Got you good that time, didn't I? (grins)

Cervantes: (glares at him) What the hell is wrong with you?! You're lucky I don't break your spine and shove your face into that fire!!

Christiano: (grins even wider) Awww, I really did scare you. The fearless Captain getting spooked by her ex-husband coming out of the fireplace. That's a riot.

Cervantes: Fuck you, you damn ape!! (obviously more angered) Now get the hell out of my quarters!

Christiano: (continuing to taunt her) Oooh, you thought I was damn sexy before. What happened?... Oh wait. You married that prude you call a husband.

Cervantes: (her eyes start on fire with rage) How dare you insult Quatre like that, you son of a bitch!!!? I'll snap your head clean off your shoulders!!

Christiano: (not even phased by the anger being directed at him) Bah. You just need to get laid by someone who knows what they're doing. (crosses his arms and waggles his eyebrows at her)

Cervantes: (so enraged she can barely speak) How...!!!? You damn...!!! I'd never...!! BASTARD!

Christiano: (further taunts her) You know you waaant tooo! My ass always was your favorite part. (grins) Want a reminder? (turns his back to Cervantes and moons her, playfully shaking his ass at her)

Cervantes: (her head twitches before the flame in her eyes turns blue, and she leaps over the chair to tackle Christiano)

Christiano: (turns around, pulling his pants back up, and catches her as she tries to tackle him, holding her up in the air in front of him) You're losing your edge, Captain. You missed.

Cervantes: I'm gonna kill you fifteen times before you get to hit the ground, you nasty ass-lancing bastard!!! (reaches forward, grabs his shoulders, and starts sinking her fingers into them, piercing his skin, and tearing through muscle)

Christiano: (severely cringing in pain) Damn, woman! Are you trying to rip those out, or do you want me that badly?!

      (Cut to an image of Cervantes' door outside her quarters, an explosion is heard, followed by immense amounts of shouting, screaming, and very loud banging noises)

Ethos: (sitting in the hall near Cervantes' quarters, looking nervous, and holding her plushie against her tightly) Uhhhmmm... (calls out) Minoda!!?... Damian!??... They fighting agaaaiin, and it sounds really bad this time!

      (A huge dent is made in Cervantes' door)

Ethos: Eeek!!!

Damian: (walks through the wall beside Ethos, and stands there for a moment, listening to all the noise, and studying the dent in the door)... (folds his arms) I'm staying the hell out of this one. There is no way I'm going in there to try to break that up.

Ethos: (full of child-like confusion) But...?

Minoda: (strolls into the hallway looking prepaired to encounter much violence, but that look slowly fades as he gets closer to the door) Ahh, man. Are we actually going to do this?? (looking at Damian with a "have pity" expression)

Damian: Oh no. We're sitting this one out, my friend.

Minoda: (wipes his forehead in relief) Phew!... Shall we go have a beer in the lounge then?

Damian: (grins) We shall! (picks Ethos up by her head in one hand, and puts her up on his shoulder) Come along too, little one. You don't need to be hearing all that. (walks off with Minoda down the hall)

      (As the three turn down another hall, Cervantes' door explodes off its hinges and slams into the wall across the hallway. Smoke and dust pour out of the doorway, and the severely mangled upper torso of Christiano is seen trying to claw his way out of the room with only one arm still attached)

Christiano: (panting heavily, and looking very frantic) For fuck's sake!! Someone, HELP ME!!

Cervantes: (steps on the torso with one of her heavy boots, pinning him down and grinning at him, holding his other arm in her hand) Oh no you don't! I'm not done with you yet! (takes a bite out of the arm in her hand, and swallows the chunk of flesh whole) I'm far from being done with you!!

Christiano: (watches in horror as Cervantes eats a chunk of his severed arm) You're insane woman!!!

Cervantes: You're damn right I am!! Now get your ass back into the room so I can dismember you some more!!! (uses the foot she already has on the torso to kick him back into the room and against the back wall of the room)

Fin'!