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gunna be honest, being indoor has really started to affect me and my mental state a lot more now, and ive been feeling a huge lack of desire to wake up and seize the day when theres pretty much nothing to seize...
college work gets handed out to us every week or so, but none of us know what we're doing, no matter how much we ask, so we're all struggling a bit...
ive recently settled into a new home as well, and whilst its lovely, ive still been struggling and i can tell that being trapped inside is adding to my general stress...
ive been having these very low mood swings, and my body clock is completely broken at this point, and i know by time i go back to college ill be super overwhelmed and stressed...

ive been honestly having a lot of moments where i just lay and have a nice long think about myself and how my lifes played out...sure, im proud of what ive overcome...but now with nothing to excite me or distract me, like college used to do, i find myself thinking a lot more, for a lot longer, and a lot deeper...

my low moods have caused me to want to spend as much time away from people as i can, and i barely stay in touch with a lot of my friends anymore...i have maybe 3 people i still stay in contact with, but even thats not mega often...im not coping as nicely as i thought...

before quarantine began, if someone told me "mae you get to stay home and work from home now and not have to leave the house", id have leapt up with joy, that sounds like a dream compared to how i felt beforehand?? i guess its know i have no choice *but* to stay in thats stressing me out...and since i have no one i feel like can help me stay distracted, or a friend in person that i can confide in, its building up...and its really beginning to hurt...

im okay, and im safe...and thats a promise, this has been a pretty lengthy rant but in case anyone was worried, please dont be, im physically okay at least.... but ill be honest, these breakdowns are really draining my energy away to the point where ive just been feeling like this empty hollow shell...its...a weird form of existence right now...and i know its tough for everyone, so kudos to you all for getting through these tough times...

im just fragile at the moment, and i guess i wanna apologise for not being quite as chatty as i want to be...i wanted to draw more and keep up with chats and old friends and develop characters further, but right now im really delicate... ive genuinely spent late hours drawing or watching spongebob in bed....

for anyone who has netflix or anything similar, i recommend watching a bit of spongebob...even if cartoons arent your thing, just something silly might cheer you up, idk, its just something ive found thats been kinda nice when im still awake late...

i hope everyone stays safe xx <3

mae - me

Description
gunna be honest, being indoor has really started to affect me and my mental state a lot more now, and ive been feeling a huge lack of desire to wake up and seize the day when theres pretty much nothing to seize...
college work gets handed out to us every week or so, but none of us know what we're doing, no matter how much we ask, so we're all struggling a bit...
ive recently settled into a new home as well, and whilst its lovely, ive still been struggling and i can tell that being trapped inside is adding to my general stress...
ive been having these very low mood swings, and my body clock is completely broken at this point, and i know by time i go back to college ill be super overwhelmed and stressed...

ive been honestly having a lot of moments where i just lay and have a nice long think about myself and how my lifes played out...sure, im proud of what ive overcome...but now with nothing to excite me or distract me, like college used to do, i find myself thinking a lot more, for a lot longer, and a lot deeper...

my low moods have caused me to want to spend as much time away from people as i can, and i barely stay in touch with a lot of my friends anymore...i have maybe 3 people i still stay in contact with, but even thats not mega often...im not coping as nicely as i thought...

before quarantine began, if someone told me "mae you get to stay home and work from home now and not have to leave the house", id have leapt up with joy, that sounds like a dream compared to how i felt beforehand?? i guess its know i have no choice *but* to stay in thats stressing me out...and since i have no one i feel like can help me stay distracted, or a friend in person that i can confide in, its building up...and its really beginning to hurt...

im okay, and im safe...and thats a promise, this has been a pretty lengthy rant but in case anyone was worried, please dont be, im physically okay at least.... but ill be honest, these breakdowns are really draining my energy away to the point where ive just been feeling like this empty hollow shell...its...a weird form of existence right now...and i know its tough for everyone, so kudos to you all for getting through these tough times...

im just fragile at the moment, and i guess i wanna apologise for not being quite as chatty as i want to be...i wanted to draw more and keep up with chats and old friends and develop characters further, but right now im really delicate... ive genuinely spent late hours drawing or watching spongebob in bed....

for anyone who has netflix or anything similar, i recommend watching a bit of spongebob...even if cartoons arent your thing, just something silly might cheer you up, idk, its just something ive found thats been kinda nice when im still awake late...

i hope everyone stays safe xx <3

mae - me