HOME | DD

Description
When I move out, the place I go to will be bare.
when I move out, there will be nothing.

Nothing but unopened boxes, my dismantled bed on the floor and my mattress beside it
and I will just go "fuck it" and sleep on the mattress
because I have no energy for anything else
and it will go on like that every day.

Maybe I ought to unpack those boxes, to actually make the place mine
but I have no energy for that kind of thing.
maybe I should clean the place up, make a proper meal, have people over
but that would use water and electricity, and those are things I do not have the money for.

I hold as many jobs as I can to try and support myself
darting off to the IT crew at night and early morning, working other jobs where I can fit them in
and when i get home i am too tired to think, let alone unpack a box, make a meal or assemble the bed

so back to the mattress it is.

on the weekend i might get a call from you, "let's do something!"
but fuck that, man, i can't move.

The place becomes a mess, dust gathering everywhere and mould gathering in the kitchen and bathroom.

my phone goes off at all hours
it's you, it's him, it's her, worried half to death about me because you haven't heard from me since I moved in

but the phone eventually dies

and I don't want to use electricity I can't afford, so I don't bother charging it.

From lack of money to afford regular meals, I've lost substantial weight

nothing is enjoyable, and anything that is, I probably can't afford.

everybody has given up on trying to get through to me
they know i can't respond.

my lack of life means decreased performance at work
i eventually get fired.

i have no way of supporting myself
so I drag myself back to live with my parents, hating myself on the inside and out for not being able to make things work.

but how could I help it?

I didn't want it to end this way...

Description
When I move out, the place I go to will be bare.
when I move out, there will be nothing.

Nothing but unopened boxes, my dismantled bed on the floor and my mattress beside it
and I will just go "fuck it" and sleep on the mattress
because I have no energy for anything else
and it will go on like that every day.

Maybe I ought to unpack those boxes, to actually make the place mine
but I have no energy for that kind of thing.
maybe I should clean the place up, make a proper meal, have people over
but that would use water and electricity, and those are things I do not have the money for.

I hold as many jobs as I can to try and support myself
darting off to the IT crew at night and early morning, working other jobs where I can fit them in
and when i get home i am too tired to think, let alone unpack a box, make a meal or assemble the bed

so back to the mattress it is.

on the weekend i might get a call from you, "let's do something!"
but fuck that, man, i can't move.

The place becomes a mess, dust gathering everywhere and mould gathering in the kitchen and bathroom.

my phone goes off at all hours
it's you, it's him, it's her, worried half to death about me because you haven't heard from me since I moved in

but the phone eventually dies

and I don't want to use electricity I can't afford, so I don't bother charging it.

From lack of money to afford regular meals, I've lost substantial weight

nothing is enjoyable, and anything that is, I probably can't afford.

everybody has given up on trying to get through to me
they know i can't respond.

my lack of life means decreased performance at work
i eventually get fired.

i have no way of supporting myself
so I drag myself back to live with my parents, hating myself on the inside and out for not being able to make things work.

but how could I help it?

I didn't want it to end this way...