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lightyearpig — We Don't Talk About Star
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Published: 2023-02-16 05:37:10 +0000 UTC; Views: 3737; Favourites: 20; Downloads: 2
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Molly: I don't get it Luz, and pardon me for not being in the know since I'm pretty new here, but what do you all have against that Star girl?
Luz: Well-
Eda: Up-bup-bup Luz, allow me to handle this! I've been working on it for ages. (clears her throat)
Eda: We don't talk about Star Bu-tter-fly. We don't talk about Star! But, it was her finale!
Luz: It was her finale!
Eda: And her mom's betrayal made her cry!
Luz: Oh, it made her cry!
Eda: So she had no choice but to destroy!
Luz: DES-TROY!
Eda: Hey, you telling this story or am I?
Luz: My mistake, Eda!
Eda: Star said magic was to blame.
Luz: Remind you of anyone?
Eda: Even though it wasn't the sole cause of her pain!
Luz: After that, everyone was just done!
Eda: So one last spell later, Earth and Mewni merged!
Luz: And yet she only cared about Marco.
Luz & Eda: We don't talk about Star Bu-tter-fly. We don't talk about Star!
Anne: Hey!
I literally just came in after the end of her reign,
It was still fresh in everyone's brains,
So glad I didn't have that love triangle pain.
No one ever dared to take after her then,
Going that long could spell your end,
Grappling with concepts she was too incompetent to comprehend.
Do you understand?
Jake: A five-foot frame!
Blonde hair down her back,
When she made her choice, no one called her wack!
Just like her cheeks, she ended up with no heart.
All: We don't talk about Star Bu-tter-fly. We don't talk about Star!
Dewey: Hekapoo had stolen my heart, and then she was dead!
Huey: All of the wasted plots messed up my head!
Louie: All of them deserved better than a writer whose brain was like bread!
All: Her fate was sealed when the OTP was revealed!
Mabel:
She and I were like sisters for life,
We were like two peas in a pod.
Then Season 3 got a little too grim,
The angst hit me like a cattle prod.
Goliath:
We only want you to stay away.
Anne:
Is it any coincidence that her end,
Was on the same day as Game of Thrones?
Both with princesses committing genocide.
And barely getting punishment for it.
Mabel:
Hey Anne?
Please stop reminding me so much!
Anne:
Magic ruins everything?
What is this, some bad gun metaphor?
Molly:
Yeah, about Star.
I want to know so much about Star.
What is your beef with Star?!
Please tell me why you hate Star!
Jake: Yo Anne, your girlfriends are here!
All: Let's dodge the question! (everyone starts singing at once as Molly begins grappling with whatever they're avoiding)
Molly:
What are they avoiding?
All:
Not a word!
Molly:
Do they think she's that annoying?
All: Don't talk about it!
Molly:
I really have to go find her!
Goliath: Molly, my friend, we understand that given your kind nature, you feel obligated to help Star mend fences with us. But I insist that you not dig further into this, for you shall go down a path from which you'll never turn back.
Luz: Yeah, Star's no better than Belos!
Jake: Or the Huntsman!
Anne: Guys, I don't think I'd go THAT far.
Scratch: You're all underestimating Molly, guys. I mean, look! She's even running off to find Star right now! (everyone watches Molly race off towards the distance)
Dewey: You mean this whole parody was for nothing?!
Mabel: But I worked so hard on my part!
Louie: Am I still getting paid for my line?
Eda: Fat chance, green bean.
Anne: Look guys, just give Molly the benefit of a doubt. Maybe Star genuinely feels sorry for what she's done.
Huey: Anne's right, but I also have to take Goliath's side too. Molly has no idea what she's getting into.
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