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I don't know how to write about God
#literature #poem #poetry #napowrimo #napowrimo2020
Published: 2020-04-08 04:30:28 +0000 UTC; Views: 4709; Favourites: 204; Downloads: 0
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Description
I spent twenty minutesarranging the wine, bread, and tablecloth,
and another hour in the garden
picking flowers, all for Jesus.
I felt the room breathing with its
own life before I ever even sat
down on the couch.
Last year I spilled the wine,
this time the bread falls off the plate,
cracking on the floor, Christ's broken body -
I'm so imperfect, small, a wailing babe.
I want to promise I'll be good
for the rest of my life, but that is impractical.
You and I know better.
You know there's too much
settled dust on this body,
just as there was
on the fine porcelain dishes
mother pulled from the china cabinet.
My footprints are muddy,
as if I still am dripping
from the mud-pit of my baptism.
They lead a path into the living room,
this make-shift holy place
we have made for your son.
And that breath - it is there again,
a rhythm in the songs and the dog's howls
and father's misty eyes
like a throb of one big heartbeat
across the whole world.
I inhale on the next beat,
and I'm breathing in something sweet.
I could try to make up, but I know it's pointless.
We were designed to always be children.
You are ready to give, and give, and give,
as a Father does.
I pass the wine
and I don't spill it this time.
It's a miracle
on a day that is somehow both somber and beautiful.
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Comments: 105
This is beautiful and vivid and relatable. I admire the heart you put into your writing.
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thank you so much. I really appreciate it.
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This is so beautiful. "We were designed to always be children." is probably my favorite. I felt the idea that we are and never will be perfect, and imperfection is enough.
(Maybe a typo? "I felt the room breathing with it's" should be its?)
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Thank you for your comment. β€οΈ I love all the thoughts and conversations this poem has started. We are most certainly imperfect now, and without Jehovahβs help we would never be perfect. And when I think about all God has given us, I just donβt see how we could ever give βenoughβ back; I guess thatβs what I was thinking about when I wrote that line. Always children, always dependent on him as he is a Father to us. Thank you for pointing it out, it was kinda the whole point of the poem lol. And thank you for seeing the typo! Iβm no good at English. Haha. 
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I just... absolutely loved this 
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aww thank you so much. I really appreciate it. the title really did come about because I genuinely didn't know if what I was writing was up to snuff or not, and I'm happy this was so well received.
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First of all, that title is so powerful, I love it. Probably what I'll remember most about this poem.
It's a lovely poem in general, this is my favorite part:
I want to promise I'll be good
for the rest of my life, but that is impractical.
You and I know better.
You know there's too much
settled dust on this body,
Β
My least favorite is probably the ending line. Endings are something I struggle with in my own poetry so I have a lot of thoughts about this ;_; in general I feel like too often we try to have a "chute"/ending line that's a little bit open-ended or surprising or different from the rest of the poem - kinda like what's supposed to be required in a haiku or at the end of a sonnet ? I do it without thinking sometimes. But it's really hard to do that without breaking the overall ambiance of the poem and in this case I think the last line falls flat a little bit. It's wordy and descriptive compared to the narrative feel of the rest of the piece. Also... this is maybe exacerbated by the factΒ that I didn't understand what day the poem was referencing until I read the description, I thought it was just a communion, so it was a little bit confusing
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thank you for the detailed comment, I really appreciate it! as for the ending, I do think it could use some work. I already had kinda broken my rules about no-editing during NaPo on this poem, but the last line was an issue for me, for basically all the reasons you pointed out. so thank you for confirming that. and that bit about thinking this was communion was surprising to me how many people thought that, we don't do weekly communions so it didn't cross my mind! so thanks again for pointing it out. it'll all be used in the edits.
thank you for reading!
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oh hey, no-editing rule, that's very smart. I don't know if I can even do that though, I'm literally editing all the time
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I may have said this about your writing before but it feels very authentic and I like that!
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The imagery and emotion in this are strikingπ±
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Such a beautiful piece of writing.Β
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Beautiful, sincere and spirit filled. Thank you for sharing this. β€οΈ
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thank you for reading!
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Not a religious person, but I came back to reread this one. Your poetry is heartfelt and beautiful.
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wow! thank you. that means a lot to me. I so appreciate you reading and commenting. thank you.
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that really is so very close to home, I'm happy the message came across. I do believe though art should be an individual experience, so variations in interpretation are just part of the fun. 
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I appreciate you sharing your opinion! we have had some wonderful conversations over this piece so far. thank you for reading and for commenting.
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Hello! I never comment on things normally especially religious things publicly because I'd backlash but I myself have just came back to the light after a dark sad place and I wanted to let you know this is beautiful! I love it β€οΈ
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I understand so much. thank you very much for reading, and for commenting. I so appreciate it.
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thank you for reading.
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I'm glad I ran across this, are you a jw?
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π§
As an atheist I can't help but read this poem with cynicism. It reminds me of the moment I realized I didn't believe anymore and seeing more and more things in my worldview falling apart. This change was part of a huge turnover in my views. Personally I feel like my whole mind had to reassemble during that time and now it is more funded and stable, with less doubts in my thoughts.
At least, that is how I feel about this poem. It mirrors the time in my life, where my mind had to radically reassemble to line up with my beliefs again.
Probably weird, but that's the best way I can explain it.
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I appreciate your honesty, and thank you for reading. Another part of the reason I am hesitant to share spiritual or political works on the internet is that I am not here to have my mind changed or to change others. Debating does not work; it simply leaves everyone with hurt feelings and more grounded in their own ideas of being βright.β I simply want to share a love of poetry and a love of art with others, find common ground in that way. But, I will say one thing: I personally do not subscribe to or take part of Christendom for many, many reasons, but primarily because I find they do not teach what is in the Bible. Iβve met many people who go under the labels atheist and agnostic simply because of the hypocrisy and the confusion that Christendom offers. Please donβt let them define your view of the Almighty, if you ever wish to explore him again. He is not defined by human ideas and traditions but rather his own Word and works. Many of those that I have spoke with have been comforted after finally seeing what was in the scriptures. What the Bible shares is a hopeful future. Such scriptures as Revelation 21:3, 4, Psalms 37:10,11,29, are excellent examples. Again, thank you for reading and for sharing your thoughts, and I hope you have a great day.
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Thank you for your answer!
I do like debating beliefs, it let's me see through other people's eyes. In my opinion a debate shouldn't have the primary goal of convincing the debate partner, instead it should be used to expand your view of the topic (and maybe changing your mind is just a side effect).
Although my opinion is strong, I see no point in fighting. I've seen good things come from religion and although I disagree with religious people about some things, I don't disagree with everything. I can see why the bible gives guidance to so many people (and sometimes even to myself), even though I don't believe in God.
I am happy that the Bible gives you hope and confidence, and although we might differ in our beliefs, I'm glad we share a hopeful outlook on the future.
It was nice talking to you and thank you for taking the time to write about this
Have a great day as well!
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Thank YOU for replying and being so kind and respectful!
I guess I have never been involved in one of those kind of "debates"; I've heard about them, but when the discourse it is to broaden horizons and understand the other human better it's always just been a "conversation." ToMAto toMAHto. lol. but yes, we both approach these matters with a similar mindset.
Strong opinions is the backbone of a strong human. You have to be convicted in what you believe to be able to act decisively, so I really appreciate that in a person! We can all make a space in our hearts for our fellowman even if we don't agree with them. This is the principle of agape, and it is one of the many things in the Bible that has really made me a better person. We must love our neighbor. I thank you very much for your respectful conversation and your ideas, they've helped me understand that it is okay to post spiritual works and we can benefit each other even when we differ in opinion.
I am so happy you are hopeful! That is also important for a happy human, lol. We do have better times than these ahead. Please stay safe, and again, thank you for reading and for offering your comments. They are greatly appreciated.
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I love this, it's very beautiful.
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Thank you very much.
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your username is lionfart
dont get deep with me
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Powerful poem. Now the hymn "in the garden" is stuck in my head, which was my grandma's favorite. And my aunt just sent a video from 1990 of our family singing that and other hymns for my grandparents' 50th anniversary. I'm all wrapped up in memory now. Anyway, again. Good poem.
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Thank you very much. As far as Iβm concerned good poetry brings memories to the fore. So, thank you for telling me that.
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thank you for reading! I was hoping for that.
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Thank you! Iβm glad it was well received. Spirituality must be spoken of carefully, with respect for God, and I hope I did an okay job.
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1.Β as if I still am dripping/ from the mud-pit of my baptism. - love the imagery.
2. Thinking about our imperfection in light of Jesus' sacrifice and how we can never measure up, but it's okay because that was the point, anyways.
3. Favorite:Β for the rest of my life, but that is impractical/You and I know better+Β I pass the wine/and I don't spill it this time. -Β I teared up a bit. This hit close to home.Β
No least favorite, but the reference to the fine porcelain dishes is something more specific to your own experience, I'm guessing - I didn't quite understand it, though I think it had something to do with getting ready for Easter communion once a year?
Beautifully written and emotionally drawn!Β Β
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