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Liteless — Deaf To You
Published: 2004-01-27 23:02:22 +0000 UTC; Views: 273; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 48
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Description
Slide the knife throgh my skinWatch my blood paint the ground
Emotional murder
I survive
A little deeper because the pain
Obviously wasn't enough for your
Sick satisfaction
Drain my veins
Burning blood stings my golden love
Crawling into your lap with
My bleeding mind
I'm still alive
Fucking stab my heart
Kill the source of all emotion
Your little puppet
Is breathing
Upside-down puzzle pieces below me
Piecing together the ground of
My new body
New life
Flying around this helpless world
Into his strong repair
He loves me
His glue
And you have to cross the crime scene
With my broken glass at your feet
I cut you now
You bleed
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Comments: 4
I think you have great potential, I'll be watching for your breakthrough piece!
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Very nice, my only gripe is the second stanza, theres a point where the flow really takes a dive. Otherwise this is a very good piece, keep it up!
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Indeed... there is that sense in the structure of the sharp stab followed by the release... it's most subtly and impressively written!
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first builds up then fades with 2(3) short words... like it calms down for a second, kinda hard to explain
a most pleasant read
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