HOME | DD

Lockpick — Naruto: Moderation
Published: 2007-07-30 20:07:11 +0000 UTC; Views: 939; Favourites: 4; Downloads: 15
Redirect to original
Description Jiraiya pinched the bridge of his nose, looked at the two hospitalized jounin, and tried not to lose his temper.  "Tell me," he said after a while.  "Did the concept of 'moderation' never occur to you?"
The younger shinobi exchanged a glance.  "Um, no," Arashi admitted.  "Not really, no."
The Sannin threw his hands in the air.  "Fantastic.  My dumbass protege and his idiot friend-"
"Kyouji-san's not an idiot," Arashi protested as the jounin in question sighed.
"idiot friend," Jiraiya repeated harshly, "aren't going to get killed by enemy shinobi in this war-"
"That's a relief," Kyouji couldn't help but observe cheekily.
"THEY'RE GOING TO GET KILLED BY THEIR OWN STUPIDITY!!" Jiraiya roared.  "First it was the severe chakra depletion.  I can understand that.  Then the extreme exhaustion.  That, that's also kinda expected because of your missions.  But then, you two OD'd on soldier pills.  How the FUCK do you overdose on THOSE?!  And if that wasn't the worse yet, now this!"
Kyouji was privately glad Orochimaru and Tsunade were too busy with other things and were unable to join Jiraiya in his tirade.  One Sannin was bad enough, but all three of them pissed about the same thing was an absolute nightmare.  Arashi was already talking, trying to placate his sensei.  "At least we were off the field this time, sensei."
"You have alcohol poisoning.  Of all the lame-ass ways to get landed in the hospital, you two idiots had to try to drink your volume in sake.  Arashi you're my student, I thought I taught you better than that."
Arashi sputtered and Kyouji tried not to look too amused, but then Jiraiya rounded on him.  "And you!  Akari was your jounin sensei and Orochi-bastard is your mentor!  Both of them should have taught you that drinking should be done in moderation!"
"I can't believe I'm hearing this from you," Arashi sulked, crossing his arms childishly.  He was seventeen years old, dammit, and here was his sensei treating him like a baby.
"Are we coming at a bad time?"  Hatake Sakumo, his wife Akari, and Kakashi were in the doorway.
The newly minted chuunin walked straight up to his sensei.  "You look like an idiot when you're drunk,"  Kakashi informed him solemnly.
"Oh yeah, and Kakashi was the one to find you two," Akari added as she thumped her old student on the head.  "You are a dumbass.  You and your idiot friend-"
"Arashi-san's not an idiot," Kyouji sighed, feeling a sense of deja vu.
"idiot friend," Akari emphasized and hit Kyouji again for good measure, "could have drowned in your own vomit if my son hadn't the sense to get help."
"This is why you don't drink," Arashi told his student.  "Learn from our horrible example."
Sakumo was busy looking at their medical charts, specifically their medical histories.  "How the hell do you OD on soldier pills?"
"That's what I wanted to know," Jiraiya said and sighed.  "WE were never this dumb."
Akari snorted and Sakumo suddenly found the ceiling very interesting.  Akari looked at the two younger jounin.  "It's okay, they didn't know what moderation was back then, either."
Related content
Comments: 0