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Description
                  You know, I meant it when I said nothing would change when It happened.  Nothing did.  You still hang with the people you always did.  I watch from my place near the sidelines.  My place in this group balances on the edge of a knife, somewhere between there and not.  You'll say that things have changed, and I'll tell you you're wrong.  You'll ask why, and my response will be the same: It's just no, okay??  "I'm really worried about you."  Yeah right, don't make me puke.  I'm just distancing myself, that's all. I know you're going to say that things have changed, that something is wrong, when you realize how many group events I've sat out on.  And it won't be many, I know that much.
And now it's your job to try and get me to be a part of the group.  And it used to work, because I used to love you.  We both know it. Except you saw it as a crush, which it started as.  But it wasn't, because I didn't want you for myself, all I wanted was for you to be happy.  Even if it meant I couldn't be near you, I wanted you, along with everyone else I love, to be happy.  I would have done anything to protect you, as I would anyone else who meant more than a little to me.  Yeah, I'll admit it, you were special to me.  Please, note the past tense.
It's said that the one who protects others is the one who needs it the most.  I do not.  I am the exception to every rule, a contradiction to every law, every decree.  Ground that was not meant to be tread upon is my worn path.  Every boundary ever set is trespassed, even the ones that I myself set.  I protect people from themselves, I don't need help dealing with myself, especially not the kind of help They would give.
That's the funny thing about life, you know??  You never know what that bitch is gonna throw at you this time.  Well, she threw a glue covered you and company this time.  Yeah, you knew Her, and so you think you know me.  You think what you see is all I am.  And don't give me that look, you know I'm right.  Everybody assumes we're alike, you know.  She thinks She had it hard, well I was the one left with the reputation for greatness to uphold.
I hate being reminded daily of what I am not a part of, but could be if I only wished it truly in my heart.  And you know, I know you're going to be the one who will try the hardest to get me to come back to the fold.  You know how back then all you had to do was ask me to, and more than likely I'd do it.  You have a lot of nerve if you still think that.  In case you haven't noticed, that changed a LONG time before we found out you were going to be one of our leaders.  And you'll persist, if only because you hate to fail.  We all know it.  And you and I both know that that's the only reason.  And I'll kill the next moron to bring up that 'We just want to be your friend' bullshit.
Speaking thus, I really don't enjoy certain aspects of our group, and the fact that everyone wants to be friends without really knowing the other person is one of those parts.  So what if we know these people's names, and the faces they display to the outside world?? I learned fast that those facades counted for next to nothing, and on one of our little get closer to each other times, no less.  Well, I told you already that I'm the exception to every rule, and that includes this one.  It didn't bring me closer, it drove me away.  I never wanted to experience the kind of pain I felt those times ever again.  Yeah, I thought I knew you all, especially Her.  Goes to show you how wrong I was.  I haven't really talked to Her for a while, but that's okay, because I don't miss people.  It hurts just as much as Those Times.
Yeah, I'm heartless.  It's something you wouldn't have to deal with if you stopped trying so hard for the Group.  It's all for Them, now.  We really have no reason for talking, even.  Face it, dear.  What do we know about each other that can't be pulled up in school records?  The fact that you're a proud, self righteous, whining Thing does not count, though I'm sure I could find it if I look hard enough.
But what really pisses me off is that your attempts to get me to join Them (even going so far as to be nice, now that's just plain WRONG) still have a shadow of their former affect on me.  The meanest thing I can come up with when trying to be mean about you is asshole, and with some people, that's a term of affection.
So yeah.  Nothing's changed at all.  You're light, and I'm dark.  And the moron who says one can't exist without the other can rot in hell.  Because they're wrong.  I don't need anyone.
                Not even You.

Description
                  You know, I meant it when I said nothing would change when It happened.  Nothing did.  You still hang with the people you always did.  I watch from my place near the sidelines.  My place in this group balances on the edge of a knife, somewhere between there and not.  You'll say that things have changed, and I'll tell you you're wrong.  You'll ask why, and my response will be the same: It's just no, okay??  "I'm really worried about you."  Yeah right, don't make me puke.  I'm just distancing myself, that's all. I know you're going to say that things have changed, that something is wrong, when you realize how many group events I've sat out on.  And it won't be many, I know that much.
And now it's your job to try and get me to be a part of the group.  And it used to work, because I used to love you.  We both know it. Except you saw it as a crush, which it started as.  But it wasn't, because I didn't want you for myself, all I wanted was for you to be happy.  Even if it meant I couldn't be near you, I wanted you, along with everyone else I love, to be happy.  I would have done anything to protect you, as I would anyone else who meant more than a little to me.  Yeah, I'll admit it, you were special to me.  Please, note the past tense.
It's said that the one who protects others is the one who needs it the most.  I do not.  I am the exception to every rule, a contradiction to every law, every decree.  Ground that was not meant to be tread upon is my worn path.  Every boundary ever set is trespassed, even the ones that I myself set.  I protect people from themselves, I don't need help dealing with myself, especially not the kind of help They would give.
That's the funny thing about life, you know??  You never know what that bitch is gonna throw at you this time.  Well, she threw a glue covered you and company this time.  Yeah, you knew Her, and so you think you know me.  You think what you see is all I am.  And don't give me that look, you know I'm right.  Everybody assumes we're alike, you know.  She thinks She had it hard, well I was the one left with the reputation for greatness to uphold.
I hate being reminded daily of what I am not a part of, but could be if I only wished it truly in my heart.  And you know, I know you're going to be the one who will try the hardest to get me to come back to the fold.  You know how back then all you had to do was ask me to, and more than likely I'd do it.  You have a lot of nerve if you still think that.  In case you haven't noticed, that changed a LONG time before we found out you were going to be one of our leaders.  And you'll persist, if only because you hate to fail.  We all know it.  And you and I both know that that's the only reason.  And I'll kill the next moron to bring up that 'We just want to be your friend' bullshit.
Speaking thus, I really don't enjoy certain aspects of our group, and the fact that everyone wants to be friends without really knowing the other person is one of those parts.  So what if we know these people's names, and the faces they display to the outside world?? I learned fast that those facades counted for next to nothing, and on one of our little get closer to each other times, no less.  Well, I told you already that I'm the exception to every rule, and that includes this one.  It didn't bring me closer, it drove me away.  I never wanted to experience the kind of pain I felt those times ever again.  Yeah, I thought I knew you all, especially Her.  Goes to show you how wrong I was.  I haven't really talked to Her for a while, but that's okay, because I don't miss people.  It hurts just as much as Those Times.
Yeah, I'm heartless.  It's something you wouldn't have to deal with if you stopped trying so hard for the Group.  It's all for Them, now.  We really have no reason for talking, even.  Face it, dear.  What do we know about each other that can't be pulled up in school records?  The fact that you're a proud, self righteous, whining Thing does not count, though I'm sure I could find it if I look hard enough.
But what really pisses me off is that your attempts to get me to join Them (even going so far as to be nice, now that's just plain WRONG) still have a shadow of their former affect on me.  The meanest thing I can come up with when trying to be mean about you is asshole, and with some people, that's a term of affection.
So yeah.  Nothing's changed at all.  You're light, and I'm dark.  And the moron who says one can't exist without the other can rot in hell.  Because they're wrong.  I don't need anyone.
                Not even You.