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Description
Charlotte watched as Savannah drizzled her waffle with maple syrup.

“You know we have our fitting in an hour.”

“I'm fat. I'm still going to be fat in an hour, maple syrup or not,” Savannah replied.

Charlotte Bronner was on one of her diets again, and the soon to be bride had managed to lose ten pounds, which she would inevitably gain back with interest. Truthfully Charlotte looked like she had about forty pounds to go, but now that her weight was going in the right direction Charlotte felt the right to be judgmental.

“No need to be nasty. Why are you being such a bitch this morning?”

“Sorry. I didn't mean to take it out on you. I have a lot on my mind.”

“It's Lexi, isn't it?”

It had been years since Lexi and Savannah last spoke. Savannah hadn't meant for things to end so badly. She had hoped to let Lexi down gently, but Lexi was mercurial, and with a relationship like theirs, well, there was nothing gentle about it.

The thing was, Lexi was right all along. It had taken Savannah seven years to figure out that Zach was an ass. Seven years of cheating, seven years of lying in bed with the wrong person...

“I don't know what went down between you two, but Lexi is my friend too. I don't care if you don't speak to her, if that's what it takes to get through the weekend. But I am not going to let you fuck up my big day.”

Savannah shoveled another forkful of waffle into her mouth, chewing slowly.

“I don't have a problem with Lexi Ryder. I can't help it if she is still hung up about some college shit.”

“That's good. Because I would hate to have to kick your ass for ruining my wedding.”

Savannah dug into her toast, thick slices of homemade bread slathered with butter.

“I'd like to see you try to kick my ass,” Savannah laughed.

“I can still throw down with the best of them super cop.”

“So is Lexi going to be at the fitting?”

“Yes. She got in last night. She really looks good, nice and fit, and she has some new hair.”

“Great. Meanwhile I'm fat and divorced.”

“Everything doesn't have to be a competition, Savannah,” Charlotte replied. “You are too hard on yourself.”

“Easy for you to say. You aren't the daughter of Hank 'Thrill' Hill.”

“Says the collegiate all American softball player.”

Savannah grunted dismissively, her mouth full of food. She had been pretty good back in her glory days, and could still hit the ball a mile.

“So what happened between you and wiggy, anyway? Lexi liked Zach Brady, was that it? You took him away from her?”

Savannah paused, deciding between a forkful of bacon or another slice of waffle.

“I'd rather not get into it Charlotte,” she replied firmly. “But I've told you before you are wrong. Lexi is not the least bit interested in Zach Brady. You know she turned out to be queer.”

“You're my best friend and I swear one day I'm going to get to the bottom of this.”

Lexi pulled her rented sedan into the River City shopping center. The shopping center lot was a cluster of small retail shops bunched together as if huddled to protect themselves from the stiff Texas wind. Belle Saison Bridal was tucked in the rear of the center between a Trader's Joes and a pizzeria.

Lexi keyed off the ignition of the rental and sat for a moment. The bridal salon had her measurements, but she needed a final dress fitting prior to the wedding. Now that she was on Texas soil, Lexi was going to see Savannah for the first time in seven years. Was Savannah going to be at the fitting?

Lexi let out a deep breath. Finally she composed herself, looked into the rear view mirror, and checked her wig. Lexi exited her vehicle and strode purposefully towards the bridal salon. She held her head high, ignoring the gentle breeze ruffling her hair.

At the door she was greeted by a petite blonde, who was smaller even that Lexi herself.

“Lexi Ryder?”

“Yes I'm Lexi.” Lexi glanced around hopefully, but there was no sign of Savannah.

“I'm KC Goodman,” the woman said, proffering her hand. “nee Bronner. I'm Charlotte's sister. Nice to meet you.”

“Pleased to meet you,” Lexi replied, half hoping that Savannah and Charlotte would jump out from behind the counter, as if they were throwing Lexi a dress fitting surprise party. “Are Charlotte and Savannah around?”

KC laughed sharply. “Ha! I have strict orders from Charlotte not to let you two within fifty feet of each other until the wedding. It must be a majorly fucked up situation.”

“Really it's nothing,” Lexi said, her stomach still doing backflips. “We had some problems, but that was a long time ago.”

“Mmmhhhmmm,” KC replied, making no attempt to mask her disbelief. “I can't stand that fat little bitch either. She's so stuck up.”

“Savannah is a trooper, but have you ever seen a state trooper that has a backside that big?” KC added. “I'm surprised she can fit that huge ass into a squad car.”

Lexi hesitated. She wasn't comfortable bashing Savannah, especially given their history, but she loved talking about Savannah's weight.

“So you say Savannah has put on some pounds?”

KC laughed. “She's a fat ass. I mean literally, her ass is so fat J Lo's ass sends Savannah's ass post cards thanking her for making her look relatively skinny. When Savannah came in earlier today she had to get her dress taken out since she put on so much weight since her last fitting. Even with her Spanx she couldn't squeeze into it. By the time the seamstress was done Savannah's dress looked like a freakin' circus tent.”

“Oh, so she's gotten that big?”

“Enough about Savannah. I want to hear about you. Let's talk while we get you dressed. Follow me.”

Lexi obliged, and KC led her to the changing room. “I assume you've seen the dress. Charlotte's mega into the black and white theme. You're a lesbian?”

Lexi was unprepared for KC's rapid fire questions. She took the dress as KC handed it to her. It was a deep ebony black, but made from a shiny material. It shimmered in the light.

“Ummm... yeah.”

“I always wondered what it would be like,” KC sighed. “But I never got around to it. If you want to full around my husband won't mind.”

KC slid open the curtain to the changing room, and Lexi strode in. KC moved to follow her, but Lexi pulled the curtain shut.

“You are not coming in here with me.”

“You're act doesn't fool me. I've heard the stories from Charlotte.”

Lexi pulled off her jeans. She half expected KC to burst into the dressing room.

“Yes I'm the infamous Lexi Ryder. I've calmed down considerably in my old age.”

“I heard you drank the captain of the football team under the table on a regular basis. But my favorite was when the cheer squad stole the Longhorn before the Texas game.”

“Oh that,” Lexi giggled. Lexi grabbed her blouse and pulled it over her head, careful not to dislodge her hairpiece. She then put the dress on, and it fit perfectly, conforming to the curves of her athletic body. “That did work out pretty well. It was fun with five cheerleaders trying to maneuver a angry steer into a u-haul.”

Lexi slipped out from behind the curtain. “How do I look?”

“Lexi you look fab. I so want to bang you right now, and I'm not even gay.”

It seemed like KC was only half joking. But Lexi wasn't about to have random sex with Charlotte's obnoxious kid sister. Things were complicated enough already.

“I saw the pictures of you, but I had no idea you were so pretty. I so want your hair!” KC exclaimed. “Honestly, I would have never expected you would be the gay one. You're a what's it called?”

“Lipstick lesbian.”

“Yes! I would have pegged Savannah as the muncher, no offense,” KC said breathlessly. “Big muscled up blonde dyke.”

“Savannah Hill is straight as an arrow,” Lexi trying to keep her voice even to hide her sarcasm.

“It is no wonder Zach ran around on her fat ass. She trots around acting like she's all that.”

Lexi returned behind the curtains to change as KC continued to talk. Normally Lexi could hold her own in a conversation, but thoughts of Savannah had her off her game. KC was out-Lexi-ing Lexi.

“So what is it you do for a living?” KC asked.

Lexi pulled off the dress and hung it on the hanger. She then tugged on her jeans.

“I'm a photo-journalist. A little bit of everything, but I specialize in fashion.”

Lexi put on her blouse and checked her wig in the mirror. Satisfied that her hair was on straight she emerged.

“That's so cool! I knew it would be something cool.”

“How about yourself?” Lexi was obliged to ask. There was no clean way to disengage from the conversation.

“Oh me? I'm a trophy wife,” KC grinned, “That means I suck my husband's cock for a living.” KC made little air quotes before suck and after cock. Why exactly KC felt compelled to make air quotes Lexi didn't know.

“But he couldn't make the trip, so I'm available. Charlotte asked me to escort you so you don't get in a catfight and get your ass kicked again.”

It was a stretch to call it a catfight, as Lexi had done all of the fighting and Savannah had merely defended herself. Lexi had thrown herself at Savannah, kicking and screaming, biting and scratching. Finally, Savannah had enough. A single punch knocked Lexi flat on her back. If that wasn't bad enough, Lexi's curly blonde wig flapped backwards as if on a hinge, exposing the top of her bald head. It took nearly a month for Lexi's black eye to fade away, and much much longer for her to recover her dignity. But although the physical wound healed, and Lexi eventually got over her embarrassment, emotionally she never fully recovered. Seven years later she still thought about Savannah Hill every day.

“I can take care of myself.”

“Just don't fuck up my sister's wedding, or I'll have to kick your ass.”

“Bye KC.” Lexi waved her hand, and then slowly raised her middle finger as she walked away.

“Nice Lexi. Real nice.”

Description
Charlotte watched as Savannah drizzled her waffle with maple syrup.

“You know we have our fitting in an hour.”

“I'm fat. I'm still going to be fat in an hour, maple syrup or not,” Savannah replied.

Charlotte Bronner was on one of her diets again, and the soon to be bride had managed to lose ten pounds, which she would inevitably gain back with interest. Truthfully Charlotte looked like she had about forty pounds to go, but now that her weight was going in the right direction Charlotte felt the right to be judgmental.

“No need to be nasty. Why are you being such a bitch this morning?”

“Sorry. I didn't mean to take it out on you. I have a lot on my mind.”

“It's Lexi, isn't it?”

It had been years since Lexi and Savannah last spoke. Savannah hadn't meant for things to end so badly. She had hoped to let Lexi down gently, but Lexi was mercurial, and with a relationship like theirs, well, there was nothing gentle about it.

The thing was, Lexi was right all along. It had taken Savannah seven years to figure out that Zach was an ass. Seven years of cheating, seven years of lying in bed with the wrong person...

“I don't know what went down between you two, but Lexi is my friend too. I don't care if you don't speak to her, if that's what it takes to get through the weekend. But I am not going to let you fuck up my big day.”

Savannah shoveled another forkful of waffle into her mouth, chewing slowly.

“I don't have a problem with Lexi Ryder. I can't help it if she is still hung up about some college shit.”

“That's good. Because I would hate to have to kick your ass for ruining my wedding.”

Savannah dug into her toast, thick slices of homemade bread slathered with butter.

“I'd like to see you try to kick my ass,” Savannah laughed.

“I can still throw down with the best of them super cop.”

“So is Lexi going to be at the fitting?”

“Yes. She got in last night. She really looks good, nice and fit, and she has some new hair.”

“Great. Meanwhile I'm fat and divorced.”

“Everything doesn't have to be a competition, Savannah,” Charlotte replied. “You are too hard on yourself.”

“Easy for you to say. You aren't the daughter of Hank 'Thrill' Hill.”

“Says the collegiate all American softball player.”

Savannah grunted dismissively, her mouth full of food. She had been pretty good back in her glory days, and could still hit the ball a mile.

“So what happened between you and wiggy, anyway? Lexi liked Zach Brady, was that it? You took him away from her?”

Savannah paused, deciding between a forkful of bacon or another slice of waffle.

“I'd rather not get into it Charlotte,” she replied firmly. “But I've told you before you are wrong. Lexi is not the least bit interested in Zach Brady. You know she turned out to be queer.”

“You're my best friend and I swear one day I'm going to get to the bottom of this.”

Lexi pulled her rented sedan into the River City shopping center. The shopping center lot was a cluster of small retail shops bunched together as if huddled to protect themselves from the stiff Texas wind. Belle Saison Bridal was tucked in the rear of the center between a Trader's Joes and a pizzeria.

Lexi keyed off the ignition of the rental and sat for a moment. The bridal salon had her measurements, but she needed a final dress fitting prior to the wedding. Now that she was on Texas soil, Lexi was going to see Savannah for the first time in seven years. Was Savannah going to be at the fitting?

Lexi let out a deep breath. Finally she composed herself, looked into the rear view mirror, and checked her wig. Lexi exited her vehicle and strode purposefully towards the bridal salon. She held her head high, ignoring the gentle breeze ruffling her hair.

At the door she was greeted by a petite blonde, who was smaller even that Lexi herself.

“Lexi Ryder?”

“Yes I'm Lexi.” Lexi glanced around hopefully, but there was no sign of Savannah.

“I'm KC Goodman,” the woman said, proffering her hand. “nee Bronner. I'm Charlotte's sister. Nice to meet you.”

“Pleased to meet you,” Lexi replied, half hoping that Savannah and Charlotte would jump out from behind the counter, as if they were throwing Lexi a dress fitting surprise party. “Are Charlotte and Savannah around?”

KC laughed sharply. “Ha! I have strict orders from Charlotte not to let you two within fifty feet of each other until the wedding. It must be a majorly fucked up situation.”

“Really it's nothing,” Lexi said, her stomach still doing backflips. “We had some problems, but that was a long time ago.”

“Mmmhhhmmm,” KC replied, making no attempt to mask her disbelief. “I can't stand that fat little bitch either. She's so stuck up.”

“Savannah is a trooper, but have you ever seen a state trooper that has a backside that big?” KC added. “I'm surprised she can fit that huge ass into a squad car.”

Lexi hesitated. She wasn't comfortable bashing Savannah, especially given their history, but she loved talking about Savannah's weight.

“So you say Savannah has put on some pounds?”

KC laughed. “She's a fat ass. I mean literally, her ass is so fat J Lo's ass sends Savannah's ass post cards thanking her for making her look relatively skinny. When Savannah came in earlier today she had to get her dress taken out since she put on so much weight since her last fitting. Even with her Spanx she couldn't squeeze into it. By the time the seamstress was done Savannah's dress looked like a freakin' circus tent.”

“Oh, so she's gotten that big?”

“Enough about Savannah. I want to hear about you. Let's talk while we get you dressed. Follow me.”

Lexi obliged, and KC led her to the changing room. “I assume you've seen the dress. Charlotte's mega into the black and white theme. You're a lesbian?”

Lexi was unprepared for KC's rapid fire questions. She took the dress as KC handed it to her. It was a deep ebony black, but made from a shiny material. It shimmered in the light.

“Ummm... yeah.”

“I always wondered what it would be like,” KC sighed. “But I never got around to it. If you want to full around my husband won't mind.”

KC slid open the curtain to the changing room, and Lexi strode in. KC moved to follow her, but Lexi pulled the curtain shut.

“You are not coming in here with me.”

“You're act doesn't fool me. I've heard the stories from Charlotte.”

Lexi pulled off her jeans. She half expected KC to burst into the dressing room.

“Yes I'm the infamous Lexi Ryder. I've calmed down considerably in my old age.”

“I heard you drank the captain of the football team under the table on a regular basis. But my favorite was when the cheer squad stole the Longhorn before the Texas game.”

“Oh that,” Lexi giggled. Lexi grabbed her blouse and pulled it over her head, careful not to dislodge her hairpiece. She then put the dress on, and it fit perfectly, conforming to the curves of her athletic body. “That did work out pretty well. It was fun with five cheerleaders trying to maneuver a angry steer into a u-haul.”

Lexi slipped out from behind the curtain. “How do I look?”

“Lexi you look fab. I so want to bang you right now, and I'm not even gay.”

It seemed like KC was only half joking. But Lexi wasn't about to have random sex with Charlotte's obnoxious kid sister. Things were complicated enough already.

“I saw the pictures of you, but I had no idea you were so pretty. I so want your hair!” KC exclaimed. “Honestly, I would have never expected you would be the gay one. You're a what's it called?”

“Lipstick lesbian.”

“Yes! I would have pegged Savannah as the muncher, no offense,” KC said breathlessly. “Big muscled up blonde dyke.”

“Savannah Hill is straight as an arrow,” Lexi trying to keep her voice even to hide her sarcasm.

“It is no wonder Zach ran around on her fat ass. She trots around acting like she's all that.”

Lexi returned behind the curtains to change as KC continued to talk. Normally Lexi could hold her own in a conversation, but thoughts of Savannah had her off her game. KC was out-Lexi-ing Lexi.

“So what is it you do for a living?” KC asked.

Lexi pulled off the dress and hung it on the hanger. She then tugged on her jeans.

“I'm a photo-journalist. A little bit of everything, but I specialize in fashion.”

Lexi put on her blouse and checked her wig in the mirror. Satisfied that her hair was on straight she emerged.

“That's so cool! I knew it would be something cool.”

“How about yourself?” Lexi was obliged to ask. There was no clean way to disengage from the conversation.

“Oh me? I'm a trophy wife,” KC grinned, “That means I suck my husband's cock for a living.” KC made little air quotes before suck and after cock. Why exactly KC felt compelled to make air quotes Lexi didn't know.

“But he couldn't make the trip, so I'm available. Charlotte asked me to escort you so you don't get in a catfight and get your ass kicked again.”

It was a stretch to call it a catfight, as Lexi had done all of the fighting and Savannah had merely defended herself. Lexi had thrown herself at Savannah, kicking and screaming, biting and scratching. Finally, Savannah had enough. A single punch knocked Lexi flat on her back. If that wasn't bad enough, Lexi's curly blonde wig flapped backwards as if on a hinge, exposing the top of her bald head. It took nearly a month for Lexi's black eye to fade away, and much much longer for her to recover her dignity. But although the physical wound healed, and Lexi eventually got over her embarrassment, emotionally she never fully recovered. Seven years later she still thought about Savannah Hill every day.

“I can take care of myself.”

“Just don't fuck up my sister's wedding, or I'll have to kick your ass.”

“Bye KC.” Lexi waved her hand, and then slowly raised her middle finger as she walked away.

“Nice Lexi. Real nice.”