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matrix7 — Battlefield of the Mind
Published: 2002-04-27 04:01:48 +0000 UTC; Views: 227; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 11
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Description
Voices whisperingat the edge of my mind...
Calling
Beckoning
Knocking
(Let me in)
Slightly louder now
demanding to be heard...
To be seen
To be touched
To be embraced
(You can't resist me)
Growling now
I shiver in the dark
Frightened
Alone
Cornered
(I'm coming to eat your mind)
Banging now, getting louder
but the door holds
Kneeling
Crying
Praying
(This is my world, my gameboard
And you are my pawn...)
(Drink your mind)
(Feed on your soul)
(Infest your dreams)
(Plant MY thoughts in your mind)
(Fruit to be reaped later...)
(Food to be enjoyed slowly)
(You)
(Are)
(Mine)
Forced to listen to these
whispers in the dark
I wait...
The pounding (eventually) stops.
My breathing slows
Hope (slowly) returns.
(I will always be here)
(Out of sight, but always within reach)
And I smile as I stand
-"Oh grave where is your victory,
death where is your sting?"-
Funny....everything's quiet now.
Now what do you know about that?
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Comments: 7
It leaves me with a chill honestly. Something about it. All in all great poem, I truly love this new venture.
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:. Dee
:. Support? Yeah, Support the Red Creamsicles. [link] and [link] . We need food on deviantART no? Yeah probably not, just tell jark how bad I want them.
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Wonderful! So true. The struggle is forever isn't it? And then you quoted the scripture. That's all you did. How wonderful it is to possess the way of deliverance. I love this poem.
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J y
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Perfect poem to discribe the evil thoughts that attack
funny you should write such a poem when this very thing has been on my mind (jusss the "thoughts" that can break a Christian's walk) *sigh*
again... nice poem wes
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Now there is something I can relate to daily... almost every minute of my life. Matrix, once again you've created a poem that us Christians can most definitly relate too. The title says it all Keep it up brother
Yeah you're right... honest poem indeed.
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...when realities collide
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
What we have here is abuse of the ()
I think the Parenthesis work great when it is used for setting apart the other voice that is whispering, but when you throw in a line like - Hope (slowly) returns - it just isn't needed or expressive to me. Maybe It's just me, but it would be a whole lot better without them.
Other than that this one is very good.
The last lines seem a little trivial compared to the intensity of the rest, but I guess that was the intention.
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SiXWiNGS
Deep Calling Deep [link] (Poetry)
Earth Spine - Sea Serpent [link] (Fantasy Landscape)
Marred [link] (IndyArt AirBrushed in PSP)
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Really good poem...definantly not you're usual style but I like it. I sense of wonder in the whole thing....good poem indeed!
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Hhhhmmmmm, well thats my two cents| |
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