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matrix7 — Long Time Gone
Published: 2002-10-17 01:33:36 +0000 UTC; Views: 259; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 18
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Description
Standing on a sandy beachlittered with forgotten souls
within the chambers of my mind
I watch the murky water roll.
Acid tears begins to fall
searing down to flesh and soul.
Tomorrow's memories start to call
to yesterday's unwanted soul.
Companions made of hurt and pain
as exhaustion like the sunrise comes
to leave upon my heart a stain
and in my eyes a blackened sun.
For I have touched the sky it seems
the hollow world now holds me down
chains from shards of shattered dreams
that drag me daily to the ground.
I remember scents of flowers
upon the breeze of heartfelt song
but now I look around and see
that all of that's a long time gone...
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Comments: 8
"Long time gone" is also a song by someone...can't remember who, though. Great poem with many interesting thoughts. It sounds like a dream... I really like the concept of 'tomorrow's memories'. Good stuff
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Wow, this was written really well. I think I've been inspired I am a sucker for dark writing, i just can't get enough of it.. The flow is great in this, there aren't any choppy lines in it. As for the "soul" thing someone stated, if the word fits.. use it.
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Another wonderfully written poem I agree with pooda though about that... you use the word soul twice in one stanza as a rhyme scheme... Although from the looks of it, your options were a bit thin.
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very nice. I like the feel to it. The second stanza seems a bit awkward I think.. with the repetition of the word 'soul' *shrugs*
I can feel it. Great job.
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*sniff* Man that's happy *sniff*
I think I want to go and hurt myself now.
But seriously, nice poem some real good lines in this one.
I actually like this poem better than the other one.
"as exhaustion like the sunrise comes" good one
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