cooper [2002-05-07 03:24:18 +0000 UTC]

Very interesting and lovely. I often (although I am merely 18 - almost 19) feel quite old... and when i look in that mirror, i also see Father Time... eckoning on my mind... but nevertheless my heart shows the face of a child... and because of that I am still quite so very young... Take care, I love experimenting with different styles, looks like ur experiment turned out awesome, take care
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jsenn [2002-05-03 13:10:25 +0000 UTC]

hehe, yes I see what you did now. I am glad you told me at "sea glass" because I hadn't seen this. I like it though and have you played with it to make it fit the traditional 5-7-5 syllable rule? I think it's a wonderful idea.

There are some who don't believe the English language really fits into the traditional rules. Jack Kerouac wrote lots of them and never used the traditional rules....so when something fits well like this, just say "hey, this is not traditional haiku, it's English Haiku, the kind Jack Kerouac wrote....hehe, ain't nobody gonna yak bak at Kerouac!! Write On!!
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dor [2002-05-03 00:12:55 +0000 UTC]

So I seemed to have read all your Haiku's backwards today... hehe
and now I reach your first try at it? You did good on these, though I'm just barely starting to take notice of these Haiku thingys
(I did not know there was a formula until I read someone elses comment to you)
Hmm this one says you seem to be feeling time creepin up on you wes? hehe

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sixwings [2002-05-02 14:39:07 +0000 UTC]

WOW I really like this
Although it is not in Haiku format

Deep.... really deep man....

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chaosboy [2002-05-02 02:27:08 +0000 UTC]

Im not big on haiku's, for the same reason you don't like em, but i think this is really good.

Me likes a lot

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chronocore [2002-05-01 04:39:53 +0000 UTC]

I've never liked writing Haikus for that reason exactly
However, I do like this. Father Times face overlaying yours... signs of aging?
So few words yet you manage to portray the thought quite well. Atleast, that is what I garnered from this

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cyanidedrive [2002-05-01 04:38:58 +0000 UTC]

i like it, haikus are very difficult, this is great for a first try in my opinion (im not exactly a poet myself), i get a cool sense of the forlorness created by mortality in this poem, great job
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Masturbation is not illegal, but if it were, people would probably take the law into their own hands

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