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Hey, hey. Have a good Christmas? I hope so. Mine was alright. Was more hectic than I wanted,but otherwise it was pleasant. I've been doing a lot of contemplating and self reflection these past few weeks and I realized I need to change things regarding my art. I had a sort of epiphany you could say. I've been doing the same thing for years and I've not really changed, I've felt incomplete and frustrated and it had started to really eat at my inspiration and investment I had put into my works. I had kind of stopped caring about my art. I don't want that. I love art, and I love creating it. But I have been going down a route I did not enjoy and was trying to be something I am not. I was drawing things with mostly my mind alone and not with my whole heart. Not with feeling. When I was younger I drew with my feelings and because if that I was always happy with my works, even if they didn't always meet with mainstream standards of perfection, because it was not all about how it looked, or if it made sense, it was about how it made me feel and it reflected in how people looked at my art as well. I feel like my art no longer carries the broad appeal it used to warrant. And when I say this, please don't misunderstand this to be a complaint; this is an observation. People in person just don't look at my work and are like "wow, that's really good!" it is always fairly abysmal replies, or they are nice, but feel....forced? Like I feel like they are giving a nicer comment than they feel I deserve? And online it just feels like no one really pays attention to my work at all. I know a few do, and your support is greatly appreciated, but feel n general no one really seems to take to my art in the way I desire. And I hate that. I no longer feel proud to show my work to people. I just cringe, or have low expectations. It wasn't until a few days ago that I truly realized this, when I made something for my mom as a Christmas gift. My mother is a often times brutally honest person and when she saw what I created she was quite entranced with it and raved about it a lot. Same thing with my boyfriend when I drew him something. It was because I created these gifts with my feelings behind them predominantly. It wasn't backed by mostly my mind. So... I am going to be making some serious changes this year; I am going to be exploring drawing like an artist should: with my feelings. Maybe I can start feeling proud of my work again. Anyway, sorry for the long tangent. I'm noteven entirely sure why I am bothering. No one really reads my journals much. xD I guess it's just me monologuing. That and I just guess I feel everyone may not like the changes I have in mind, so... I guess I am just putting it out there to feel more comfortable when I begin making these changes apparent? Anyway, whoever bothered reading this drivel, I appreciate your interest and I hope that you enjoy the changes I have in mind. Have a great new year everyone. Pro tip: the only resolution you should bother with on the new year is your computer's.

:) (Smile) — Description
Hey, hey. Have a good Christmas? I hope so. Mine was alright. Was more hectic than I wanted,but otherwise it was pleasant. I've been doing a lot of contemplating and self reflection these past few weeks and I realized I need to change things regarding my art. I had a sort of epiphany you could say. I've been doing the same thing for years and I've not really changed, I've felt incomplete and frustrated and it had started to really eat at my inspiration and investment I had put into my works. I had kind of stopped caring about my art. I don't want that. I love art, and I love creating it. But I have been going down a route I did not enjoy and was trying to be something I am not. I was drawing things with mostly my mind alone and not with my whole heart. Not with feeling. When I was younger I drew with my feelings and because if that I was always happy with my works, even if they didn't always meet with mainstream standards of perfection, because it was not all about how it looked, or if it made sense, it was about how it made me feel and it reflected in how people looked at my art as well. I feel like my art no longer carries the broad appeal it used to warrant. And when I say this, please don't misunderstand this to be a complaint; this is an observation. People in person just don't look at my work and are like "wow, that's really good!" it is always fairly abysmal replies, or they are nice, but feel....forced? Like I feel like they are giving a nicer comment than they feel I deserve? And online it just feels like no one really pays attention to my work at all. I know a few do, and your support is greatly appreciated, but feel n general no one really seems to take to my art in the way I desire. And I hate that. I no longer feel proud to show my work to people. I just cringe, or have low expectations. It wasn't until a few days ago that I truly realized this, when I made something for my mom as a Christmas gift. My mother is a often times brutally honest person and when she saw what I created she was quite entranced with it and raved about it a lot. Same thing with my boyfriend when I drew him something. It was because I created these gifts with my feelings behind them predominantly. It wasn't backed by mostly my mind. So... I am going to be making some serious changes this year; I am going to be exploring drawing like an artist should: with my feelings. Maybe I can start feeling proud of my work again. Anyway, sorry for the long tangent. I'm noteven entirely sure why I am bothering. No one really reads my journals much. xD I guess it's just me monologuing. That and I just guess I feel everyone may not like the changes I have in mind, so... I guess I am just putting it out there to feel more comfortable when I begin making these changes apparent? Anyway, whoever bothered reading this drivel, I appreciate your interest and I hope that you enjoy the changes I have in mind. Have a great new year everyone. Pro tip: the only resolution you should bother with on the new year is your computer's.