HOME | DD
meglocrush — memory goes
Published: 2001-09-06 08:45:30 +0000 UTC; Views: 128; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 21
Redirect to original
Description
:memory goes:i dont really remember
what color your
hair/eyes is/are.
but its not really important.
there's a light that floats
just above your head.
and this magic shimmering
right about your chest.
i know my memory goes
in and out, in.go.out
but i know your name
and i remember you smile.
there's motion(blurred by movement)
necks being touched(softly!yes-softly)
my heart being touched(softly, so)
my guitar being strummed(and again)
and then in about
one month's time, you will
step back into my life
im sure ill fall down(softly?).
Related content
Comments: 4
this definately doesnt belong in the "sucks" cabinet. im very impressed by it. i think the slashes in the third line (since everyone else mentioned them) work great. great poem.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
wonderful poem meg. The three slashes part is a bit confusing and it seems to interupt madly the flow of the poem. It's a great piece, you shouldn't slam your work. I do the same but that's not the point!
Keep up the good work meggy, me loves your stuff. Your *favorite* fan signing out. D
---------
step-by-step: the dance of life is learned
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Fine fine poem! From the heart and emotional!!
"im sure ill fall down(softly?). " Nice touch.
Faithwalker
Grow
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
its a really great poem, just i dont like the slashes in the 3rd line- make em "or" instead
but otherwise, i really like the 2nd and 4th stanzas - but im not sure about the ending - maybe change the "one months" to something dreamlike, an expression without specification.
thats the difference between poetry and fact - fact retells and describes, poetry dreams
.:artemix:insanity and genius are seperated only by degrees of success:.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0