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meglocrush — violent night
Published: 2001-09-07 10:54:02 +0000 UTC; Views: 242; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 31
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Description
:violent night:violent night
purple, its a thursday
and raining.
there you were all tucked in
-warm
with the sounds of peace
playing softly
in the corner.
lightning strikes
yellow, its running down
your window.
there you were watching
-upright
as the light dripped
down the glass
you screamed.
sleek knife
silver, its resting now
in you.
there you were exhaling
-hushed
as pretty days past
danced quietly
in your eyes.
street light
white, its helping clear
my path.
here i am running
-exhausted
as the maroon from
my hands drips
into gutters.
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Comments: 6
wowies...a distinct use of puntuation and imagery makes this a great read. the different ideas presented are boggling, ideas of lost love and dying principles.
good work!
.:remember:a poem tells a thousand dreams tell a thousand emotions tell a thousand thoughts tell a thousand pictures tell a thousand words:.
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Meggy! I always comment I just love your work, this isn't an exception. I never comment on these because I just feel that I should, they deserve it every bit. It's a great poem, colors expressing objects, objects expressing your emotions, perfectly. I'm just stauck in the wonderful language and rhythm and flow of this poem meg. It's now my favorite non-experment poem you've ever written. I'm still caught up in the beauty you so wondefully express. Beauty meg, this is beauty. Don't stop writing, I love it all.
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step-by-step: the dance of life is learned
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i like it, fragmented, part of a story that will never be told. very well written, has a calmness that contrasts well with the voilence of the story. nice.
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meglocrush, this would make a great scene for a novel/story... but of course its good by itself as well... is it part of a bigger story?
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wow, I'm not commenting because you said you wanted comments, Im commenting because this piece warrants a comment. The contrasts of violence and peace, the colours (purple, yellow, maroon), makes this poem jump out at you. I feel a guilty pleasure in picturing the author beating a hasty retreat, as the peace envelops the victim. Very very well done....
Psalm 139:13
For you created my inmost being. You knit me together in my mothers womb.
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