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Published: 2008-08-20 21:02:59 +0000 UTC; Views: 224425; Favourites: 2191; Downloads: 545
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Description
Here is a tutorial on how to create a well balanced original character for the Naruto series. In this tutorial, I will talk about various abilities, powers and flaws you can use to better flesh out your characters. This system is borrowed heavily in traditional d20 RPG rules, so if you’ve played games like Dungeons and Dragons before, then some of this will seem familiar.Please note that this tutorial contains some spoilers in Naruto (if you don't read the manga).
The Abilities: Strength, Constitution, Stamina, Agility, Dexterity, Intelligence, Wisdom, Charisma, Comeliness
To each of the above abilities, you will assign a number value between 1 and 18; however, you can’t have a combined total of more than:
100 Points for Genin Ranks
110 Points for Chuunin Ranks
115 Points for Special Jounin Ranks
120 Points for Jounin Ranks & ANBU Ranks
140 Points for Hokage Ranks
150 Points for Boss Villain Characters
Don’t understand what the abilities or values mean? I’ve explained everything in detail below …
Strength: This ability is a measure of a one’s muscle. Strength affects the ability of your character to lift and carry weights, jumping, climbing and overall physical power. A good rule of thumb would be 1 point for every 10lbs they can pick up over their head (a.k.a. military press) and it’s 1 point for every 20lbs they could bench press.
An average for a grown man would be a score of 10-12; average for a woman would be 8-10. When it comes to Ninja’s and strength, they seem to be average, unless there is an exception (e.g. Tsunade – score: 18, Sakura – score: 16, Guy – score: 16, opened gates score: 18+).
Real Human Terms of Strength:
1 – 5 would mean the individual is debilitated in this ability
6 – 8 would be below average for men, average for women
9 – 10 would be average for men, above average for women
11 – 13 would be above average (mild to moderate athlete)
14 – 16 would be considered “talented” (e.g. Olympic athlete)
17 – 18 would be considered “gifted” (e.g. Hercules)
Ninja Terms of Strength:
1 – 5 would mean the individual is debilitated in this ability
6 – 8 would be below average for men, average for women
9 – 10 would be average for men, above average for women
11 – 13 would be above average (e.g. Asuma Sarutobi)
14 – 16 would be considered “talented” (e.g. Shippuden Sakura Haruno)
17 – 18 would be considered “gifted” (e.g. Tsunade)
A score above 18 would be considered “Godlike”.
Constitution: This ability measures how well your character can take a hit and overall, how healthy they are and even how much alcohol they can handle. Do they get sick easily? Do they have a preexisting illness or an allergy? Ninja have a much higher constitution than normal humans. For example, even young ninja can get thrown into a wall leaving an impact and still get up to fight.
Note that this score is the same for both men and women.
Real Human Terms of Constitution:
1 – 5 would mean the individual is debilitated in this ability (e.g. Cancer, paralysis, serious disease)
6 – 8 would be below average for both men and women (e.g. Has an allergy or can’t take a hit – “Glass Jaw”)
9 – 10 would be average for both men and women (e.g. Healthy Individual)
11 – 13 would be above average (e.g. Doesn’t get sick very often and can take a decent beating)
14 – 16 would be considered “talented” (e.g. Has high immunity and can get knocked around pretty hard, e.g. Professional Heavyweight Fighter)
17 – 18 would be considered “gifted” (e.g. Near immunity and invulnerability)
Ninja Terms of Constitution:
1 – 5 would mean the individual is debilitated in this ability (e.g. Cancer, paralysis, serious disease)
6 – 11 would be below average for both men and women (e.g. Has an allergy or can’t take a hit – “Glass Jaw”)
12 – 14 would be average for both men and women (e.g. Healthy Ninja, e.g. Genin, Chunin Ranks)
15 – 16 would be above average for both men and women (e.g. Jonin, ANBU Ranks)
17 – 18 would be considered above average (e.g. Tsunade with Creation Rebirth technique)
A score above 18 would be considered “Godlike”. Think Superman without kryptonite.
Stamina: How long your character can run or how much chakra your character has is covered by this ability. Stamina is basically how long your character can last when it comes to putting forth physical exertion. Most ninja can move at a top-speed-run for over 8 hours, which is miraculous by human terms. Take this into consideration when choosing your score.
Note that this score is the same for both men and women.
Real Human Terms of Stamina:
1 – 5 would mean the individual is debilitated in this ability (e.g. Individual lives on life support)
6 – 8 would be below average for both men and women (e.g. Winded after walking a flight of stairs, has severe asthma)
9 – 10 would be average for both men and women (e.g. Healthy Individual)
11 – 13 would be above average (e.g. Individual can walk or jog a few miles)
14 – 16 would be considered “talented” (e.g. Individual can do a triathlon)
17 – 18 would be considered “gifted” (e.g. Individual can run a marathon)
Ninja Terms of Stamina:
1 – 5 would mean the individual is debilitated in this ability (e.g. Individual lives on life support, e.g. Kimimaro when hospitalized)
6 – 8 would be below average for both men and women (e.g. Kakashi when using Sharingan)
9 – 16 would be average for both men and women (e.g. Healthy Ninja)
17 – 18 would be considered “gifted” (e.g. Naruto Uzumaki with his and Kyubi’s combined chakra)
Agility: How well your character can move as a whole is determined by your Agility score. This includes movement speed, aerobatics, dodging, parrying and saving themselves when falling. A cat, for instance would have an Agility score of at least 14 due to their ease of movements and natural ability to right themselves in mid fall.
Note that this score is the same for both men and women.
Real Human Terms of Agility:
1 – 5 would mean the individual is debilitated in this ability (e.g. Paralyzed)
6 – 8 would be below average for both men and women (e.g. Missing a limb, injury or other issue that would cause movement impairment)
9 – 10 would be average for both men and women (e.g. Healthy Individual)
11 – 13 would be above average (e.g. Naturally agile)
14 – 16 would be considered “talented” (e.g. Exceptional balance and speed, track and field sprinter)
17 – 18 would be considered “gifted” (e.g. Kung Fu Master, Olympic gold winner in sprinting event)
Ninja Terms of Agility:
1 – 5 would mean the individual is debilitated in this ability (e.g. Paralyzed)
6 – 8 would be below average for both men and women (e.g. Missing a limb, injury or other issue that would cause movement impairment)
9 – 16 would be average for both men and women (e.g. Healthy Ninja)
17 – 18 would be considered “gifted” (e.g. Shippuden Sakura when controlled by Chiyo through chakra strings)
Most birds of prey have a score above 18.
Dexterity: How well your character is with his/her hands is covered by Dexterity. This ability also includes a character’s aim with weapons; thrown or otherwise. For a ninja, this would also mean how effectively they can form seals.
Note that this score is the same for both men and women.
Real Human Terms of Dexterity:
1 – 5 would mean the individual is severely inhibited in this ability (e.g. Paralyzed, missing a hand)
6 – 8 would be below average for both men and women (e.g. Missing a finger(s), weakened hand from stroke or injury)
9 – 10 would be average for both men and women (e.g. Healthy Individual)
11 – 13 would be above average (e.g. Sign language interpreter)
14 – 16 would be considered “talented” (e.g. Professional Pianist)
17 – 18 would be considered “gifted” (e.g. Card Magician)
Ninja Terms of Dexterity:
1 – 5 would mean the individual is severely inhibited in this ability (e.g. Paralyzed, missing a hand, Orochimaru after fighting Sarutobi and losing the use of his hands)
6 – 8 would be below average for both men and women (e.g. Missing a finger(s), weakened hand from stroke or injury)
9 – 10 would be average for both men and women (e.g. Healthy Ninja)
11 – 13 would be above average (e.g. Hokage Sarutobi)
14 – 16 would be considered “talented” (e.g. Tenten)
17 – 18 would be considered “gifted” (e.g. Kakashi when using the Sharingan to copy handsigns)
Intelligence: This is a measure of one’s problem-solving ability, recall (memory) and deductive reasoning. Basically, Intelligence measures how well your character calculates and how much information they can store.
Note that this score is the same for both men and women.
Real Human Terms of Intelligence:
1 – 5 would mean the individual is severely inhibited in this ability (e.g. Comatose or mentally handicapped)
6 – 8 would be below average for both men and women (e.g. “Slow” or impaired)
9 – 10 would be average for both men and women (e.g. Healthy Individual)
11 – 13 would be above average (e.g. “Straight A Student”)
14 – 16 would be considered “talented” (e.g. Individual with a photographic memory)
17 – 18 would be considered “gifted” (e.g. Einstein, Steven Hawking, Savants)
Ninja Terms of Intelligence:
1 – 5 would mean the individual is severely inhibited in this ability (e.g. Comatose or mentally handicapped)
6 – 8 would be below average for both men and women (e.g. “Slow” or impaired)
9 – 10 would be average for both men and women (e.g. Healthy Ninja)
11 – 13 would be above average (e.g. Temari)
14 – 16 would be considered “talented” (e.g. Kakashi)
17 – 18 would be considered “gifted” (e.g. Shikamaru Nara)
Wisdom: How much common sense your character has is measured by this ability. This is usually an ability that is low in younger characters and rises as they grow older. Some characters are natural “old souls”, meaning they may learn common sense faster than their counterparts. This score isn’t usually very high unless the character has had a “life changing event” or is elderly and near the end of their life.
Note that this score is the same for both men and women.
Real Human Terms of Wisdom:
1 – 5 would mean the individual is debilitated in this ability or is very young (e.g. Infant)
6 – 8 would be below average for both men and women, but average for children (e.g. Preteens)
9 – 10 would be average for both men and women (e.g. Healthy Individual)
11 – 13 would be above average (e.g. Older person – 40+ years old)
14 – 16 would be considered “talented” (e.g. Monk or philosophical student)
17 – 18 would be considered “gifted” (e.g. Buddha)
Ninja Terms of Wisdom:
1 – 5 would mean the individual is debilitated in this ability or is very young (e.g. Infant)
6 – 8 would be below average for both men and women, but average for children (e.g. Preteens)
9 – 10 would be average for both men and women (e.g. Healthy Ninja)
11 – 13 would be above average (e.g. Jiraiya)
14 – 16 would be considered “talented” (e.g. Konoha Elders)
17 – 18 would be considered “gifted” (e.g. Hokage Sarutobi, Jiraiya before his death)
Charisma: Is a measure of how social your character is – otherwise known as being extroverted or introverted. This also measures how well you can interact in a social interaction. Diplomats, for instance are usually naturally charismatic.
Note that this score is the same for both men and women.
Real Human Terms of Charisma:
1 – 5 would mean the individual is severely inhibited in this ability (e.g. Agoraphobic)
6 – 8 would be below average for both men and women (e.g. Introvert)
9 – 10 would be average for both men and women (e.g. Healthy Individual)
11 – 13 would be above average (e.g. Extroverted)
14 – 16 would be considered “talented” (e.g. “Life of the Party”, Politician, Geisha)
17 – 18 would be considered “gifted” (e.g. “Ladies man”)
Ninja Terms of Charisma:
1 – 5 would mean the individual is severely inhibited in this ability (e.g. Agoraphobic)
6 – 8 would be below average for both men and women (e.g. Introvert)
9 – 10 would be average for both men and women (e.g. Healthy Ninja)
11 – 13 would be above average (e.g. Iruka Umino, Ino Yamanaka)
14 – 16 would be considered “talented” (e.g. Naruto, Jiraiya)
17 – 18 would be considered “gifted” (e.g. Hokage Sarutobi)
Comeliness: This ability is scored off how attractive your character is. Though this is often subjective, things can be boiled down to common attributes – if someone is missing half of their face from a horrible fire, they are not usually considered that “pretty”. Be sure not to factor Charisma in this score.
Note that this score is the same for both men and women.
Real Human Terms of Comeliness:
1 – 5 would mean the individual is severely inhibited in this ability (e.g. Severely scarred or maimed, Michael Jackson)
6 – 8 would be below average for both men and women (e.g. Mildly scarred)
9 – 10 would be average for both men and women (e.g. Healthy Individual)
11 – 13 would be above average (e.g. Attractive Individual)
14 – 16 would be considered “talented” (e.g. Model)
17 – 18 would be considered “gifted” (e.g. Helen of Troy)
Ninja Terms of Comeliness:
1 – 5 would mean the individual is severely inhibited in this ability (e.g. Severely scarred or maimed, Ibiki Morino)
6 – 8 would be below average for both men and women (e.g. Mildly scarred)
9 – 10 would be average for both men and women (e.g. Healthy Ninja)
11 – 13 would be above average (e.g. Sasuke Uchiha)
14 – 16 would be considered “talented” (e.g. Tsunade)
17 – 18 would be considered “gifted” (e.g. Might Guy!
It’s very important that you take the powers of your character into serious consideration. A character with too many powers can be overwhelming and in some cases, hard to keep track of. Here is a good rule of thumb when it comes to extras: choose two major ones and then two minor ones.
For instance, let’s take Tsunade. Her extras are Super Strength, Medical Abilities, Continual Transformation Jutsu and a legendary title/reputation. Her super strength and medical abilities are her two major extras, and her transformation jutsu and title are her two minors.
Here are a few examples of major extras:
Bloodline Ability, Massive Chakra Amount, Artifact (weapon, armor, etc.), Super Strength, Super Speed, Extra Chakra Nature Type (usually ninjas have only two), Multiple Gifted Abilities (Strength, Stamina, Constitution), Summon Large Creature, Rare Jutsu, Exceptional in a Skill (medical, tracker, etc.)
Here are a few examples of minor extras:
ANBU Rank, Decoder, Companion (dog, cat, etc.), Photographic Memory without Advanced Intelligence, Natural Direction Sense, Requires Little Sleep or Food, Can Speak Multiple Languages, Medic, Family (e.g. Hyuga, Hokage’s son)
Also, it wouldn’t hurt to take three major extras and no minors, or four minors and no majors. That’s really up to you, just be sure not to go overboard.
Flaws
Ah, the aspects that make us fall in love with your character; the qualities of them that remind us of ourselves. It’s very important that your character has flaws, just as important as how powerful they are. If your character has no weakness, no signs of imperfection, then people will be turned off from your character from the start. This can be seen with the comic book character Superman. Kryptonite was brought first into the radio show to help develop the plot and was later added to the comic book to create a weakness in superman – fearing the invulnerable man would lose fans if he had no flaw for the readers to relate to. And since then, Kryptonite has made its way into American’s language as a term for flaws, hardships, or Achille’s heel.
We’ll steal Tsuande again for this explanation. Her flaws are/were fear of blood; she’s insecure in her appearances because of aging (why else would she use a transformation jutsu to cover it up?); she is filled with regret for the death of her brother and her lover; she has a gambling problem; she likes to drink, but can’t handle it; and she has terrible luck.
So a lot more flaws for the Princess than powers. But we know that Tsunade is a great character as we’ve seen in the manga and anime.
Now that you know what all of the abilities mean, how extras can be balanced and the importance of flaws are, I’ll share with you a character of mine for an example:
Hachi Hani
Special Jounin - 115 points
Strength: 6
Her strength is weak, regardless of being a ninja
Constitution: 6
Though she has high resistances to poison, she unfortunately has a “Glass Jaw”
Stamina: 15
She can run for great distances; but has an average chakra amount
Agility: 12
Average for ninjas
Dexterity: 14
She is musically trained, thus her dexterity is that of a professional musician
Intelligence: 11
Average for ninjas
Wisdom: 10
Average for ninjas
Charisma: 18
Naturally extroverted, with years of education that has taught her multiple forms of etiquette
Comeliness: 18
She was bred to be beautiful
Total: 110
Powers
Zeru-roiyaru – Royal Jelly Technique: The ability to seduce men through excreting a pheromone. This ability is chemically natural and not chakra based; however, she uses chakra to “funnel” it towards her target. This ability does not work on women (even homosexual women) and can be countered if the man does not breathe the air around them (e.g. breathing apparatus, underwater, etc.). This ability can also make men aggressive or animalistic, thus making them uncontrollable. This is considered a major power.
Poison Resistance: Through years of exposure, Hani has developed immunity to most common poisons; does not include venoms. This is considered a major power.
Exceptionally Beautiful: Where most ninja train to strengthen their muscles, Hani was trained in taking care of her body and appearances. She is also the product of “selective breeding”. This is considered a minor power.
Etiquette Training: Hani has been schooled by courtesans, geisha and noble families in the proper etiquette of multiple interactions. She knows how to behave in places like a tea house, all the way up to the Emperor’s castle. This etiquette allows her to blend into most social situations. This is considered a minor power.
Flaws
Exceptionally Weak: Hani has less strength than most normal women, let alone a kunoichi. She will never be able to physically overpower a man.
Also, Hani is unable to take a hit very well. If she were to take a punch to the face from an ordinary man, her head would be spinning. If she were to take a hit from someone of Asuma Sarutobi’s strength, she would be instantly knocked unconscious, if not comatose. If she was punched by Sakura or Tsunade, it would probably kill her out-right.
Hani was not built for combat.
Extreme Phobia: Though it may seem cliché to give a character a phobia, I did give one to her and for good reasons (if I was to explain, then it would give away spoilers). Hani has a paralyzing fear of deep water. Normally she will be frozen and unable to move at first, hyperventilate after a few seconds and then eventually faint from stress. If she is out in the open, she is usually able to help herself; however, when she is in an enclosed environment (say a pool), she will need assistance.
Limited Jutsu Abilities: Though Hani can perform basics like a transformation jutsu and can mold her chakra, she doesn’t know many advanced jutsus.
As you can see, Hani has a lot of strengths and a lot of weaknesses (sometimes I wonder if she is too weak). Even her most powerful ability has conditions that must be met and even then, it could be potentially dangerous.
I’ll add another example, incase you have any more questions:
Jiraiya “Jiri” Uzumaki
Jounin & ANBU - 120 points
Strength: 10
Average for ninjas
Constitution: 18
This is due to his chakra type
Stamina: 18
This is due to his chakra type
Agility: 14
Average for ninjas
Dexterity: 12
Average for ninjas
Intelligence: 11
Average for ninjas
Wisdom: 12
Average for ninjas
Charisma: 14
He has a good “bedside manner”
Comeliness: 12
He’s got purdy hair!
Total: 120
Powers
Light Chakra: Jiri’s chakra type is the rare “Light Chakra” (also called “life” or “heaven”; the opposite is “dark”, “death”, “hell” chakra). It’s extremely rare and usually only one ninja is born every few generations that can use it. He has light chakra due to an extreme experience that occurred when he was in his mother’s womb. If his mother had been anyone else, he wouldn’t have survived the event.
The light chakra purifies and regenerates his body constantly. He doesn’t tan, scar or become ill. He is also able to use his chakra to heal others via medical jutsu. Doing so does not drain him, but it will, for a short period of time, exhaust whomever he performs the healing on.
Though this ability may seem overwhelmingly powerful, it does have a VERY serious drawback. I will not go into details as I don’t want to give away spoilers, but it does involve Jiri’s mental health. This is considered a major power.
Advance Byakugan: This is also due to the event when he was in his mother’s womb. Jiri’s Byakugan is twice as potent as a normal Hyuga’s (main branch or otherwise) and is always activated. Unfortunately, this advanced Byakugan actually “hurts” and overwhelms Jiri and makes it very difficult for him to actually see. He is, in a sense, blinded by sight. He often suffers from headaches and eye strain. This is considered a major power; even though it has a very expensive cost.
Family: Jiri is the son of a Hokage and is a descendant of the Hyuga family. This would be considered two minor extras; however, since both of his major powers come at a large cost, I gave him an extra minor.
Medic: Trained under Sakura, Jiri has learned a great deal in the art of being a medical ninja. He is 2nd in line at the hospital, but since he is still young, Sakura often gives him a lot of the “intern” duties.
Flaws
Light Chakra & Byakugan: See Above
Overly Empathetic: Jiri becomes very upset if he is unable to help those in need and will often become depressed or upset if he is unable to help them. Unlike most medical professionals, Jiri isn’t able to “withdraw” emotionally from his patients.
Socially Awkward: Though Jiri has a fair Charisma score, it applies only to the “bedside manner” he shares with his patients. Outside of the hospital and his friends, he usually struggles to find his words and may even stutter.
Unable to Use Chakra Offensively: Unfortunately for Jiri, his chakra doesn’t discriminate against friend or foe. If he was to use his chakra in an offensive attack (like the Rasengan) he would actually heal his target than hurt them. The same could be said for using the Hyuga fighting style of Gentle Fist.
Light Chakra Only: Jiri’s light chakra doesn’t allow room for any other chakra usage.
Lack of Teachings: Since light chakra is so rare, Jiri has had little teaching in how to best utilize his abilities.
In the end, it’s all about checks and balances. If you give a character something very powerful, you should give them something equally weakening or flawed. If you follow the rules in this tutorial even a little bit, it will help prevent you from creating the “Mary Sues” and “Gary Stues” people often complain about.
Related content
Comments: 391
ThatSplendidJerk In reply to mongrelmarie [2009-03-06 03:39:03 +0000 UTC]
Goro-kun is OK, now for Tora... hopefully he'd be Ok as well!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Negai-Boshi In reply to ??? [2009-02-21 02:28:44 +0000 UTC]
I love this. It's so useful! I just tried it out for a character my friend and I created, and it was really helpful, since we've been developing her a lot over the last few days. I read this before, but completly forgot about it, so thank you for updating it and making me notice it agian! It's really great!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
mongrelmarie In reply to Negai-Boshi [2009-02-21 02:41:33 +0000 UTC]
Ah, I'm always happy to help.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
SinjaAussiaAngels In reply to ??? [2009-02-20 23:42:25 +0000 UTC]
Will use this system, to make sure I don't make any god-like characters. Don't want a super character that can do all.
Thanks for taking the time to do this and share with us.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Ellistriel In reply to ??? [2009-02-20 23:23:13 +0000 UTC]
I like the separation of total scores depending of your rank, makes more sense xD
But the villain characters part… Not all villains are Uchiha Madara xD (Maybe that’s better for the big bad Guy of the story more that for villains in general, Akatsuki members are high level jounins)
And the ANBU stats… I always wonder if all ANBU were jounin (Sai is a High level chuunin or a low level jounin xD, and looking in Itachi store is highly probable that he became ANBU as a chuunin more that a jounin)
Anyway is a better way like that (It helps a lot when you have to think stuff not related with ninjutus or genjutsu, this ones serves more to have a more stable base when you need to write a scene with a character using skills that aren’t jutsus)
👍: 0 ⏩: 2
mongrelmarie In reply to Ellistriel [2009-02-21 01:29:19 +0000 UTC]
I changed the villain listing to "Boss Villains"; which is what I had meant.
I had increased the stat total for ANBU because they learn a few special jutsus that other jounins don't know. That's why it's only 5 points.
But yeah, I might have to tweak these numbers again.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Ellistriel In reply to Ellistriel [2009-02-20 23:37:48 +0000 UTC]
Let’s give it a try with the actual state of my OC (Alter 79 chapters of fic xD) right now she’s a high level chuunin, focus on combat more that another stuff (She’s smart but not on strategy level and she usually falls in any genjutsu… If a little genins manage to go near her, he could put a chuunin in a genjutsu xD) with Kishimoto’s skill chart (or wahtever is the name of the 8 abilities xD) she’s well the same xD a High level chuunin
STR 10
CON 14
EST 14
AGI 16
DEX 10
INT 10
WIS 10
CHA 14
COM 14
Total: 112
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Maygen-Lucia In reply to ??? [2009-02-20 22:56:28 +0000 UTC]
This helped me out SO much.
My best friend and I had been trying to develop two Naruto OCs for about 5 months before I sumbled across this.
Put everything into a really easy way to develop them.
THANK YOU SO MUCH!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
mongrelmarie In reply to Maygen-Lucia [2009-02-21 01:27:12 +0000 UTC]
Aww, glad to hear it helped. That makes me feel good.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
PoldeyLove In reply to ??? [2009-02-20 22:46:49 +0000 UTC]
I HAD a Naruto OC.. XD
kinda abandoned her.. ( sorry senritsu
)
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
PoldeyLove In reply to mongrelmarie [2009-02-22 21:16:45 +0000 UTC]
naaah she's lazy anyway XD
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Madnessofthebunny In reply to ??? [2009-02-09 13:46:38 +0000 UTC]
Does this sound good enough for a twelve-year-old?
Leonora
Strength 4
Leonora was never strong, and doesn’t care.
Constitution 8
Leonora is very weak, and is easily damaged. This is due to the fact that she often overuses her summoning powers, and therefore she has gotten livelong damages.
Stamina 12
Leonora moves extremely fast. She has yet to test for how long she can run.
Agility 14
See powers
Dexterity 17
Se powers
Intelligence 12
Leonora has always been intelligent, and a quick thinker. To bad she doesn’t know how to use it properly.
Wisdom 7
She doesn’t think much forward.
Charisma 10
Leonora can charm her way out of a lot, but rarely bothers to. Her lack of empathy drags down.
Comeliness 8
She is beautiful, but people are rarely attracted to twelve-year-olds.
Overall score: 92
Strengths: Agility, Dexterity
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
mongrelmarie In reply to Madnessofthebunny [2009-02-10 03:48:59 +0000 UTC]
What rank is she? A genin?
So far, I think it looks good for a 12 year old. This leaves a lot of room for her to grow.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Madnessofthebunny In reply to mongrelmarie [2009-02-10 14:31:53 +0000 UTC]
Rank? Oh, forgot to mention she's not a naruto. (I really want to read the manga, but the bookstores in Norway are limited.)
Thanks. ^^
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
CynicalBounce In reply to ??? [2009-02-08 02:10:01 +0000 UTC]
Hm... would this work on characters not based on Naruto?
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
mongrelmarie In reply to CynicalBounce [2009-02-08 03:19:42 +0000 UTC]
Hmmm, I don't see why it wouldn't.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Toasteh-toast In reply to ??? [2009-02-03 06:57:40 +0000 UTC]
THANK YOU FOR MAKING THIS
SERIOUSLY
MORE PEOPLE SHOULD SEE THIS
I'M TIRED OF ALL THESE DEMIGODS AND CARBON COPIES WALKING ALL OVER DA. :I
<333
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mongrelmarie In reply to Toasteh-toast [2009-02-03 07:27:48 +0000 UTC]
Thank you very much!
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VorentheReaper In reply to ??? [2009-01-31 22:52:21 +0000 UTC]
Um, would you be able to evaluate my character? I've already got the stats and extras and stuff written out...
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mongrelmarie In reply to VorentheReaper [2009-02-01 00:51:42 +0000 UTC]
Sure, send it over.
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VorentheReaper In reply to mongrelmarie [2009-02-01 00:54:51 +0000 UTC]
Name: Kuroju Haishiro
Rank: Chunin
Age: 19
Elemental Nature: Water
Strength: 7 (abilities lie more in elemental ninjutsu, which the Haishiro clan focuses on)
Constitution: 15 (strong bones)
Stamina: 10 (about average)
Agility: 10 (about average)
Dexterity: 7 (painful burn scars, caught in a house fire five years previously)
Intelligence: 12 (received additional tutoring at home before reaching Genin-level)
Wisdom: 8 (often rushes blindly into battle, stubborn)
Charisma: 14 (smooth talker)
Comeliness: 5 (burn scars covering hands, arms, stomach and neck)
Extras:
Elemental Combinations (M): Due to the Haishiro clan’s specialty, Kuroju can combine different elemental ninjutsu, often with devastating results. Not in the same way as Hyouton (water and wind at the same time) or Mokuton (water and earth at the same time), but by using elemental jutsu skilfully (e.g. soaking the opponent with a water jutsu, then frying them with a lightning one).
Original Jutsu (M): Kuroju creates his own jutsu for use in combat. His original techniques include Water Beast Puppets, during which he can create beasts from any nearby water source using chakra shells and use them as puppets, and Shredding Stone Spears, which forces sharp spears of rock to the surface over a wide area - ten metres pre-timeskip, thirty post-timeskip.
Summons (m): Kuroju has signed a contract with the wolves, but is currently unable to summon one large enough to ride on (or, indeed, one willing to let him).
Flaws:
Burns: Debilitating and painful burn scars cover much of Kuroju’s body, inhibiting his movement.
Vulnerable to Poisons: Kuroju is especially susceptible to poison for an unknown reason. For example, a poison that would normally take three days to kill someone would be fatal to Kuroju in twelve hours.
(Also, good job with the 1 to 5 Comeliness rating description.)
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mongrelmarie In reply to VorentheReaper [2009-02-01 01:07:49 +0000 UTC]
Everything looks good and well balanced to me.
(And thank you. )
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mongrelmarie In reply to VorentheReaper [2009-02-01 06:58:37 +0000 UTC]
Thank you for sharing it.
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VorentheReaper In reply to mongrelmarie [2009-02-01 07:31:09 +0000 UTC]
Yeah, it's about seven years prior to the description I gave. Oddly enough, in seven years all that's improved is his range of techniques and his chakra control. Oh, and he damn near loses an arm to Kabuto. Stupid grey-haired asshole.
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mongrelmarie In reply to VorentheReaper [2009-02-01 07:35:37 +0000 UTC]
Yeah, I'm not much of a Kabuto fan either.
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VorentheReaper In reply to mongrelmarie [2009-02-01 09:30:28 +0000 UTC]
Yeah, I've got something special planned for him.
Also, I just came across a great idea. You can seal stuff into scrolls with the right designs in the Narutoverse, right? Well, Orochimaru has those summoning contracts or something tattooed on his arms, doesn't he? So, if contract seals work on human flesh, I don't see why other seals wouldn't work. Therefore, you could have storage seals tattooed on your arms and they'd still work!
And you changed your avatar already?
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mongrelmarie In reply to VorentheReaper [2009-02-01 09:35:34 +0000 UTC]
Hehe ... I had actually thought about summoning tattoos too. I incorporated them into my OC Ikana Hyuuga, who is an archer. I couldn't really see a ninja carrying around a bow and arrows constantly, therefore I designed her so she could summon her weapons via tattoos.
Yep, we've had those avatars for a few months and wanted to do something different.
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NordicAngel In reply to ??? [2009-01-26 08:14:08 +0000 UTC]
This is very useful! I will use this to improve my character!
I've played a little D&D so I know a little about it (and one of my cousin plays it A LOT, so he's been helping me with the making of one of my OC's, but I still feel that it's really undeveloped and "raw")
And I don't want one of those overpowered ones, (because that's no fun) but a fairly balanced one with their flaws and good points.
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mongrelmarie In reply to NordicAngel [2009-01-26 22:41:42 +0000 UTC]
Sounds like you've got the right state of mind for OC creation!
I wish you the best of luck!
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Otacon144 In reply to ??? [2009-01-15 22:03:18 +0000 UTC]
Tetsuo Yukibara - Age 13
Strength - 12
Constitution - 13
Stamina - 14 (his taijutsu style, Omoiken-ryuu/Heavy Fist, is inspired by Hung Gar and emphasizes sheer power over finesse - Tetsuo hasn't mastered it, but his training has toughened him to the point where he's built like a miniature tank. A solid focused punch can easily fell most opponents.)
Agility - 8 (Unfortunately, tanks are not known for being nimble, and neither is he. A quick enough opponent can literally run circles around him.)
Dexterity - 9 (Fortunately, his aim with kunai and his sealwork are fairly solid.)
Intelligence - 10 (He is of average intelligence.)
Wisdom - 7 (Tetsuo is very hardheaded and stubborn. If he doesn't want to listen to some advice, nothing will get through to him.)
Charisma - 6 (He's very introverted, and justifies it by saying that as a foreigner, he's automatically an outsider. Tends to be abrasive and sarcastic.)
Comeliness - 8 (Though his looks are average, Tetsuo is shorter than most kids his age, only five feet tall.)
That's a total of 87.
I can give you his Merits and Flaws as well, if you'd like.
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mongrelmarie In reply to Otacon144 [2009-01-16 18:55:18 +0000 UTC]
Looks good!
There is a lot of room for your character to grow.
Though it's funny, the whole time I was reading this, I kept thinking of a fantasy-like dwarf.
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Otacon144 In reply to mongrelmarie [2009-01-19 11:39:44 +0000 UTC]
Funny... He kind of IS like a dwarf. In more ways than one.
I tried my best to model him off of myself, with a few minor and a couple of major tweaks.
He's mostly based on the way I was around that age - sarcastic, immature, cynical to the point of being hateful. I had a lot of problems and a lot of growing up to do. That's part of why I like writing this character so much - it allows me to confront the way I used to be, some parts of which I still feel guilty for.
Anyway, Extras and Flaws, if you want them. M=Major, m=Minor.
Extra (M) - Ice Style/Hyouton: Tetsuo is from the Land of Snow and a former Yuki-nin: he has Wind- and Water- natured chakra, and can use Ice-Style jutsu.
Flaw (M) - Out Of His Element: Tetsuo currently resides in Konoha (for reasons mentioned in his story). The Land of Fire is always temperate and warm, and thus, Tetsuo can't use any of his standard Ice-Style Jutsu, which require snow and ice to work; He must rely on his Taijutsu and the few Water/Wind style jutsu he knows instead.
Extra (m) - Improviser: Tetsuo is an avid (and quite skilled) Mahjong player, with a talent for improvising. Tending to think in straight lines, Tetsuo has a knack for finding the best way to "use the tiles on the table," using his current means to accomplish his goal.
Flaw (m) - Not a Team Player: The already-small numbers of the Snow-Nin meant that he was the only student of his teacher. As a result, his teamwork skills are extremely poor. He's very impatient, and tends to bicker with anyone he ends up teamed with.
Flaw (m) - Short Fuse: Tetsuo's temper is even shorter than he is, despite his sensei's best attempts.
Flaw - "What an Asshole!"*: His insecurity and fear of socializing (due mostly to the fact he's been picked on since he was young for his height, though the loss of his jutsu and displacement to Konoha have aggravated this) externalizes as a proud, brash, angry façade, which makes him very easy to offend. He gets into a lot of fights, and very few of the genin in Konoha are willing to put up with him. It's particularly bad if he has to deal with the girls. Ahh, puberty.
Extra - Jury-Rigged Jutsu**: Tetsuo discovers a talent for creating jutsu by modifying ones that already exist. Taking the Water-Style Kirigakure no Jutsu, he has transformed it into Hyoumu no Jutsu/Ice Fog Jutsu, a watery, freezing cloud which both conceals his position and cools down the area, making it easier for him to use Ice-Style jutsu. Another trick is the ability to freeze water into solid shapes, which eventually leads to another of his favorites - the Ice Clone Jutsu.
Flaw - "What's Your Excuse, You Run Out of Muscle?"**: Since there usually isn't enough water in the air to make these jutsu, Tetsuo must use water from his own body, expelled through his breath. He must stay intensely hydrated as a result of this, and as he uses up his body's supply of water, he begins to show more and more severe symptoms of dehydration; if Tetsuo overdoes it, he could quite possibly kill himself.
* - He loses this flaw by the time he becomes a chuunin - two years after his story starts.
** - He's also gained this merit and this flaw.
I'm not sure which categories to put some of these in, and it's looking a little unbalanced to me at the moment. Any thoughts?
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mongrelmarie In reply to Otacon144 [2009-01-19 21:00:12 +0000 UTC]
Haha! I like this character's attitude and his powers/flaws. But it does seem he has more flaws than powers though. Is that where you feel it's unbalanced?
Dying if he uses too much water from his body sounds VERY Naruto-ish. Just a thought -- have you seen Avatar: The Last Airbender? I remember Kitara, the water bender having problems with not having enough water to use in her surroundings. She later learned to draw it out of nature around her -- like the trees and plant life. I thought that was very clever. Heck, Tetsuo may even learn to use the water in his opponent's bodies instead of his own.
Jounin ability maybe?
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Otacon144 In reply to mongrelmarie [2009-01-19 21:35:39 +0000 UTC]
Wow. Here I was thinking his Merits were too strong.
I gave him a lot of flaws partially to balance such a rare and possibly very powerful jutsu and dual-natured chakra as a genin, and partially because I imagine someone his age would not be in the best of mental shape after all the shit that's happened to him.
In fact, I was a big fan of Avatar, and I do remember Katara (though I hadn't thought about using the water in OTHERS' bodies...)
Tetsuo eventually gains the ability to better use the water around him so he doesn't run such a high risk, but it takes a few years of training.
When he becomes a jounin, he's got even better control of it - one of his trump card jutsu flash-freezes all the water around him and plunges the area's temperature to near zero, enabling him to use his full arsenal of Ice Jutsu.
The ground cracks and trees explode. It's really cool.
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mongrelmarie In reply to Otacon144 [2009-01-21 05:00:23 +0000 UTC]
I think he sounds like a good character and I guess I'm not picturing his abilities very well yet. Because I don't think they are too overpowered.
Let me know if you need any help with flushing out more of his details.
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Otacon144 In reply to Otacon144 [2009-01-19 11:42:34 +0000 UTC]
Holy shit this is a long comment.
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melee-of-mine In reply to ??? [2009-01-11 05:47:34 +0000 UTC]
This is really neat! What would Kankuro's stats be?
Also, I feel my OC Shiro needs a LOT of explaining to not be too powerful, despite the fact *I* think he has a lot of flaws... I need advice!
Please respond!
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mongrelmarie In reply to melee-of-mine [2009-01-11 18:58:57 +0000 UTC]
Let's see, Kankuro's:
Strength: 10
Constitution: 13
Stamina: 13
Agility: 14
Dexterity: 17-18
Intelligence: 10
Wisdom: 10
Charisma: 13
Comeliness: 10
What are your OC's powers and flaws?
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melee-of-mine In reply to mongrelmarie [2009-01-11 22:28:37 +0000 UTC]
Well, he was born without virtually any physical ability, but with a catch; an over-developed kekkai genkai, permanently activated. (WAAAY too much like Jiri... But I didn't know Jiri when I designed him...)The kekkai genkai ability is as follows:
The ability to see and control the spirits (ninspirits, if you will, they are used like the Inuzukas use dogs), although they require summoning with often more than just blood, normally an arm or eye. He is prolific in ninjutsu and not too shabby at genjutsu, but his strength and taijutsu are abyssmal. After a battle, he is often left without a limb and is then carried by his team partner.
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