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Description
Earthstar
After Isis left, I don’t remember how long because I had my eyes closed.  Joseph appeared next to me.  His long hair wavy and his hands in his jeans.  He looked far away but he asked me to dance.  I guess Isis had to use the bathroom.  I took Joseph’s hands and we were free.  At the end of the song, we were kissing; I don’t even know how it happened.  I felt shaky and filled with love.  I grabbed handfuls of jean jacket and he likes my hair!  But soon I feel as if Isis has come back and I have to stop.  Do you know how hard it is to stop ecstasy?  But Isis is upset.  I have an idea why.  She leaves in her slugbug.  I tried to stop her but she wouldn’t listen.  I walked back to the front steps.  I watched the moon and after a while, Joseph sits down next to me.  It feels like I’m betraying Isis in some way, but I let him put his arm around me.  It must be early morning by now.
“Are you sleeping over, Joseph?”
“Yeah.  She took the car.”
“Okay.”
I lead him up the spiral stairs and through the wooden floored hallway to my room.  He’s been here before but only when he was with Isis and we were dong Ouija.  I slid my window closed so it would be quieter.  He stands in the middle, awkwardly.
“You can borrow a shirt or something.  To sleep in.”
I say that I will be right back, I’m going to brush my teeth.  He sits down on the futon.
I come back and take off my sweater and stretchy star pants.  He watches me with curiosity.  I tell him nicely to move so that I can pull out the futon. He jumps up and offers to help with something.  I say no thank you and blow out the candles and the lights are now the moon, and from downstairs.  He crawls in under the covers next to me.  He’s wearing black boxers and one of my big t-shirts.  It’s the shirt that is tie-dyed and has an ice-cream name on it.  I roll over on my side facing him and play with his hair a little.  He seems to relax.  I hug him and put my head next to his chest in the space between his arm.

Isis
I started to walk fast.  I don’t want to listen to what Earthstar says, and at the same time, I do.  But not right now, right now I just need to wallow in my own feelings.  Slam the car door, I rip on the ignition and blast out of the street, I drive and drive.  I find myself at the beach.  It must be early morning now.  The moon has made its way across the sky, you can see pinkish smog.  I get out of the car and walk down.  Halfway down I remember that I’m still wearing Earthstar’s army jacket.  The wind is ripping through the water.  Sand is getting in my sandals so I take them off.  Wet cold under my bare feet.  But I don’t even care, I’m not surprised when warm salty wet slide down my face.  I fall back on the sand.  Why?  Earthstar knows.  I go back to the dunes and curl up, a little ball.  My thoughts drift around to pelican people walking on the sidewalk and my mother yelling my name.
Joseph shaking his head.  The way he looked at Earthstar.  I closed my eyes and raked my fingernails down my face.

Joseph
I can’t change Isis’ feelings, but nothing can ever come of them.  I care about her deeply, but I can never return any of her come-ons.  I always knew that this was happening, but I tried to deny it.  I tried not to be mean.  I was afraid of going out, of spending time with other girls.  But naturally, I am in love with my sister’s best friend.  So in some ways I was lucky.  I got to see her a lot, whenever she cam to visit and, when Isis and Earthstar weren’t allowed to drive yet, I drove them to the beach and redwood forest.  Now I’m laying here, here in Earthstar’s room with her body next to mine and I can’t even enjoy it.  I know she is worried as well.
Earthstar sits up and puts on her starry leggings and sweater, looks back at me.  I’ve already pulled on my jeans.  We go downstairs, people gently snoring or passed out in front of the black and white TV with abalone shell with sage and feathers.  A silent art film is playing.  Earthstar walks down the steps and over the mossy patches to her car.  We’re silent as we drive.  We drive past dark windows and lost people sleeping under park benches.  In the whispering chill breeze.  We end up at the beach. I get out of the car; Earthstar stays behind, assuming that Isis wouldn’t talk if she came.  I close the car door and pull my arms closer to my body, wind whipping my hair into my face, I scan the dunes as I walk down, the night is lighter now, I come across a little figure curled up inside a dune.
“Isis.”  I breathe.  The little ball uncurls slowly and lifts its head to look at me.  I kneel next to her, hold her in a hug, my arm getting soaked.  We just sit there together, the sun rising, the ocean becoming calmer, softer-our feet and gingers freezing.
“I’m sorry,” Isis unfolds, wet streaming down her face.  She takes my hand, “I’m really sorry.”

Earthstar

Suddenly it’s cold on my arm, I open my eyes, shaking away groggy thoughts.  Isis stands there, she bends down and hugs me.  I smile and hug her back; she’s smiling through tears and whispers of sorry.  I realize the early morning sun and surfer dudes getting the wildest waves.  Joseph grinning ever so slightly at his sister’s back-arms folded.  She climbs in over me; Joseph says he’s going home with the car.  He beams a smile at both of us and walks across the parking lot, his back slowly receding.  We kind of just sit there, staring in front of us, guys laughing, riding sweet waves in the distance.  Isis is playing with a clay figure I made and keep on my dashboard.  He’s for good luck.  It’s a little tree with a mysterious look on his face.  I pull out and drive home.  When we get there Isis grips the seatbelt.
“Earthstar, I’ve been ridiculous.  I’m so fucked up.”
She looks like she’s going to cry again.
“I need your help.  Will you help me?”
I don’t say anything for a while.  Then I say sure, of course I’ll help her, I am her best friend after all.  We go inside, all the people have left.  I take out a ton of granola bars and chop up some strawberries.  I put them in two bowls with milk.  Munching and reading last week’s comics.  It’s very windy outside.  Root comes in, stops, looks at us, we look back at him.  He pulls a chair up to the table and fastens his dreads in a ponytail behind his head.  He doesn’t even have to double the elastic.  He puts his head on his arm and stares at the wall.  Isis and I raise our eyebrows at each other and start laughing.  She leans close to him, takes a dread and twirls it.
“Hey Root, up late yesterday?”
He just nods and gets up, pours himself a huge glass of orange juice and sits down again.  Isis and I put the dishes back and make our way to the pink soft sofa.
Root is one of the people I live with in this house.  I left home a while ago.  I was staying with my friend Mimi and met some cool people at a local concert.  We started hanging out and found we had a lot of ideas in common.  Five of us bought the house, now the numbers of members of the household fluctuate.  Root is a fixed part.  Our little group spends a lot of the time advocating recycling, organic gardening; we occasionally give presentations at local happenings on composting.  I sometimes help with backup singing in the band.  Root plays bongos, Sara plays flute and occasionally sings, Jim is the main singer, he also is excellent at the didgeridoo.  Joseph plays guitar for us mainly, sometimes we have a random dude we discover on the street.
Isis is telling me how cute Root is.  I go into the Ocean bathroom and brush my teeth.

Isis

When Earthstar is washing up, I go to her room and pull out some drawers.  A Mexican embroidered half-shirt with bellbottom sleeves, paisley dresses, skirts with printed Indian designs and a million mirrors.  Vintage concert t-shirts and tie-dyed cotton longsleeves.  I put on a silk tie-back shirt and a 70s suede flower miniskirt.  Earthstar comes upstairs.  She uplls a paisley dress on over her leggings and takes the tie-dye cotton longsleeve.
“Where did I leave my backpack?”
We troop downstairs, Root has the keys.  Driving to school, Root puts in the Beach Boys and we all screech along together.
“See you later.”
“Check you later.”
We say to Root, who is on his way to the local college where his class on ecology is.  Once again, Earthstar and I walk down the hall, surrounded by the people who all look the same.  Some stupid freshmen yell at us “freeballers” and “fucking dope heads.”  Earthstar’s first class is Drawing and Painting, but mine’s math, so we say “see you” and I go to my class. I’m one of the first people, I take out the book and try to understand the pages we were assigned last class.  The teacher walks in, sandwich in hand.
“Good morning, Isis.”
I say good morning, and sigh.  Close the book and take out my journal.  I attempt to pay attention, but I pay more attention to the patters on the chalkboard that the dust from the eraser makes.  I can hear Santana playing in my head and start doodling.  My Daydream.  I accidentally think about Joseph.  God, I am so tired.  The bell rings.  I wonder if I can make it through next class.  The building up of tears in my eyes.  Earthstar comes down the hallway towards me in slow motion.  I slide down the locker and sit on the floor.
“You okay?”
“No.  I don’t feel good.”
Frown.  Earthstar helps me up and whispers “stick with it.”  Somehow I make it through the rest of the day.  At lunch I eat some dry cereal and drink some water.  After school, Earthstar meets me on the lawn.  Root comes by to pick us up and we drive to the beach.  Root dives in the ocean and I follow.  When I hit the cool water, the shock blasts all my worries away.  They turn into the sparkles and condensation evaporation ocean love.  I keep swimming, a mermaid.  A mermaid below filmy plastic wrap ocean.  Sometimes I surface for a gulp of air and the beach dips and rises in fron tof me.  Root pulls me out.  At least I think it’s Root, yes, it is.  His dreadlocks almost look dry.  He takes my hand and we run back to Earthstar, to the towels.

Description
Earthstar
After Isis left, I don’t remember how long because I had my eyes closed.  Joseph appeared next to me.  His long hair wavy and his hands in his jeans.  He looked far away but he asked me to dance.  I guess Isis had to use the bathroom.  I took Joseph’s hands and we were free.  At the end of the song, we were kissing; I don’t even know how it happened.  I felt shaky and filled with love.  I grabbed handfuls of jean jacket and he likes my hair!  But soon I feel as if Isis has come back and I have to stop.  Do you know how hard it is to stop ecstasy?  But Isis is upset.  I have an idea why.  She leaves in her slugbug.  I tried to stop her but she wouldn’t listen.  I walked back to the front steps.  I watched the moon and after a while, Joseph sits down next to me.  It feels like I’m betraying Isis in some way, but I let him put his arm around me.  It must be early morning by now.
“Are you sleeping over, Joseph?”
“Yeah.  She took the car.”
“Okay.”
I lead him up the spiral stairs and through the wooden floored hallway to my room.  He’s been here before but only when he was with Isis and we were dong Ouija.  I slid my window closed so it would be quieter.  He stands in the middle, awkwardly.
“You can borrow a shirt or something.  To sleep in.”
I say that I will be right back, I’m going to brush my teeth.  He sits down on the futon.
I come back and take off my sweater and stretchy star pants.  He watches me with curiosity.  I tell him nicely to move so that I can pull out the futon. He jumps up and offers to help with something.  I say no thank you and blow out the candles and the lights are now the moon, and from downstairs.  He crawls in under the covers next to me.  He’s wearing black boxers and one of my big t-shirts.  It’s the shirt that is tie-dyed and has an ice-cream name on it.  I roll over on my side facing him and play with his hair a little.  He seems to relax.  I hug him and put my head next to his chest in the space between his arm.

Isis
I started to walk fast.  I don’t want to listen to what Earthstar says, and at the same time, I do.  But not right now, right now I just need to wallow in my own feelings.  Slam the car door, I rip on the ignition and blast out of the street, I drive and drive.  I find myself at the beach.  It must be early morning now.  The moon has made its way across the sky, you can see pinkish smog.  I get out of the car and walk down.  Halfway down I remember that I’m still wearing Earthstar’s army jacket.  The wind is ripping through the water.  Sand is getting in my sandals so I take them off.  Wet cold under my bare feet.  But I don’t even care, I’m not surprised when warm salty wet slide down my face.  I fall back on the sand.  Why?  Earthstar knows.  I go back to the dunes and curl up, a little ball.  My thoughts drift around to pelican people walking on the sidewalk and my mother yelling my name.
Joseph shaking his head.  The way he looked at Earthstar.  I closed my eyes and raked my fingernails down my face.

Joseph
I can’t change Isis’ feelings, but nothing can ever come of them.  I care about her deeply, but I can never return any of her come-ons.  I always knew that this was happening, but I tried to deny it.  I tried not to be mean.  I was afraid of going out, of spending time with other girls.  But naturally, I am in love with my sister’s best friend.  So in some ways I was lucky.  I got to see her a lot, whenever she cam to visit and, when Isis and Earthstar weren’t allowed to drive yet, I drove them to the beach and redwood forest.  Now I’m laying here, here in Earthstar’s room with her body next to mine and I can’t even enjoy it.  I know she is worried as well.
Earthstar sits up and puts on her starry leggings and sweater, looks back at me.  I’ve already pulled on my jeans.  We go downstairs, people gently snoring or passed out in front of the black and white TV with abalone shell with sage and feathers.  A silent art film is playing.  Earthstar walks down the steps and over the mossy patches to her car.  We’re silent as we drive.  We drive past dark windows and lost people sleeping under park benches.  In the whispering chill breeze.  We end up at the beach. I get out of the car; Earthstar stays behind, assuming that Isis wouldn’t talk if she came.  I close the car door and pull my arms closer to my body, wind whipping my hair into my face, I scan the dunes as I walk down, the night is lighter now, I come across a little figure curled up inside a dune.
“Isis.”  I breathe.  The little ball uncurls slowly and lifts its head to look at me.  I kneel next to her, hold her in a hug, my arm getting soaked.  We just sit there together, the sun rising, the ocean becoming calmer, softer-our feet and gingers freezing.
“I’m sorry,” Isis unfolds, wet streaming down her face.  She takes my hand, “I’m really sorry.”

Earthstar

Suddenly it’s cold on my arm, I open my eyes, shaking away groggy thoughts.  Isis stands there, she bends down and hugs me.  I smile and hug her back; she’s smiling through tears and whispers of sorry.  I realize the early morning sun and surfer dudes getting the wildest waves.  Joseph grinning ever so slightly at his sister’s back-arms folded.  She climbs in over me; Joseph says he’s going home with the car.  He beams a smile at both of us and walks across the parking lot, his back slowly receding.  We kind of just sit there, staring in front of us, guys laughing, riding sweet waves in the distance.  Isis is playing with a clay figure I made and keep on my dashboard.  He’s for good luck.  It’s a little tree with a mysterious look on his face.  I pull out and drive home.  When we get there Isis grips the seatbelt.
“Earthstar, I’ve been ridiculous.  I’m so fucked up.”
She looks like she’s going to cry again.
“I need your help.  Will you help me?”
I don’t say anything for a while.  Then I say sure, of course I’ll help her, I am her best friend after all.  We go inside, all the people have left.  I take out a ton of granola bars and chop up some strawberries.  I put them in two bowls with milk.  Munching and reading last week’s comics.  It’s very windy outside.  Root comes in, stops, looks at us, we look back at him.  He pulls a chair up to the table and fastens his dreads in a ponytail behind his head.  He doesn’t even have to double the elastic.  He puts his head on his arm and stares at the wall.  Isis and I raise our eyebrows at each other and start laughing.  She leans close to him, takes a dread and twirls it.
“Hey Root, up late yesterday?”
He just nods and gets up, pours himself a huge glass of orange juice and sits down again.  Isis and I put the dishes back and make our way to the pink soft sofa.
Root is one of the people I live with in this house.  I left home a while ago.  I was staying with my friend Mimi and met some cool people at a local concert.  We started hanging out and found we had a lot of ideas in common.  Five of us bought the house, now the numbers of members of the household fluctuate.  Root is a fixed part.  Our little group spends a lot of the time advocating recycling, organic gardening; we occasionally give presentations at local happenings on composting.  I sometimes help with backup singing in the band.  Root plays bongos, Sara plays flute and occasionally sings, Jim is the main singer, he also is excellent at the didgeridoo.  Joseph plays guitar for us mainly, sometimes we have a random dude we discover on the street.
Isis is telling me how cute Root is.  I go into the Ocean bathroom and brush my teeth.

Isis

When Earthstar is washing up, I go to her room and pull out some drawers.  A Mexican embroidered half-shirt with bellbottom sleeves, paisley dresses, skirts with printed Indian designs and a million mirrors.  Vintage concert t-shirts and tie-dyed cotton longsleeves.  I put on a silk tie-back shirt and a 70s suede flower miniskirt.  Earthstar comes upstairs.  She uplls a paisley dress on over her leggings and takes the tie-dye cotton longsleeve.
“Where did I leave my backpack?”
We troop downstairs, Root has the keys.  Driving to school, Root puts in the Beach Boys and we all screech along together.
“See you later.”
“Check you later.”
We say to Root, who is on his way to the local college where his class on ecology is.  Once again, Earthstar and I walk down the hall, surrounded by the people who all look the same.  Some stupid freshmen yell at us “freeballers” and “fucking dope heads.”  Earthstar’s first class is Drawing and Painting, but mine’s math, so we say “see you” and I go to my class. I’m one of the first people, I take out the book and try to understand the pages we were assigned last class.  The teacher walks in, sandwich in hand.
“Good morning, Isis.”
I say good morning, and sigh.  Close the book and take out my journal.  I attempt to pay attention, but I pay more attention to the patters on the chalkboard that the dust from the eraser makes.  I can hear Santana playing in my head and start doodling.  My Daydream.  I accidentally think about Joseph.  God, I am so tired.  The bell rings.  I wonder if I can make it through next class.  The building up of tears in my eyes.  Earthstar comes down the hallway towards me in slow motion.  I slide down the locker and sit on the floor.
“You okay?”
“No.  I don’t feel good.”
Frown.  Earthstar helps me up and whispers “stick with it.”  Somehow I make it through the rest of the day.  At lunch I eat some dry cereal and drink some water.  After school, Earthstar meets me on the lawn.  Root comes by to pick us up and we drive to the beach.  Root dives in the ocean and I follow.  When I hit the cool water, the shock blasts all my worries away.  They turn into the sparkles and condensation evaporation ocean love.  I keep swimming, a mermaid.  A mermaid below filmy plastic wrap ocean.  Sometimes I surface for a gulp of air and the beach dips and rises in fron tof me.  Root pulls me out.  At least I think it’s Root, yes, it is.  His dreadlocks almost look dry.  He takes my hand and we run back to Earthstar, to the towels.