HOME | DD

Description
She sat in the drive looking at the small unassuming house shivering even though it was already warm at 8:30 in the morning, looking around and taking a deep breath, realizing her hands  were gripped around the steering wheel of the rental so tight her knuckles were white and fingers aching.
Here, swallowing softly, she said the word in her mind while taking another deep breath. Still unable to believe she was in the drive, with only feet between her and what could be the happiest part of her life, a new beginning or the worst part, depending on many things.
With a shaking hand she turned off the rental and dropped the keys in her purse, looking in the rearview at her face, pale even by her standards, the bags and boxes in her peripheral vision a reminder of just how real and permanent  her choices were. Looking out the window of the car, up and down the quiet street, feeling out of place very vulnerable she shook her bright head, plucking her purse from the seat and willing her legs to move as she pushed open the door. Bright morning sun sliding over the neighborhood as she stepped onto the drive, looking again at the door to the unknown, and the door to what was now her home.

"It will be unlocked, you know what I expect."
The words had been ringing in her head the entire drive. Her thoughts a jumble of what ifs and half whispered prayers, a mix of fantasies she'd shared and fears she had kept hidden, even from him. She'd been running on auto pilot for the past hour. The closer she'd gotten to her destination the more the emotions in her warred, the tiny voices of doubt and insecurity. The many mistakes she'd made over the years and the intense desire to be what He wanted  and what He needed, the anxiety ate at her even as she made plans to try to remedy the mistakes, to make up for lost time.
The voices, the other ones whispered just as loud in the spaces and hollows of her head, the need, the excitement, the fear. Knowing once she stepped into His world, she was lost, in the most delicious of ways, but fearing she'd disappoint or be found unworthy.
They had both planned for years, well, she'd planned, and she'd tried and strived to make it possible to find her way to Him. The moment he'd spoken to her, she'd been lost to him. There had never been another, in her mind there never would be.  The road had been long and she was weary from the fight, but finally she'd made the call, explained she would leave and be on her way, arriving while he worked. Timidly almost afraid to voice it, afraid someone would snatch back the chance of happiness. His reaction was  as guarded as hers, he'd waited too.
"Good, you'll drive safe, use the map and focus so you don't get lost."
"Yes, my Master" her response was barely audible, she remembered the tears rolling down her cheeks as she uttered the words, even as she loaded the last of her meager possessions in the rental. She hadn't called until the last moment, until she was certain that this time…THIS TIME, she would be free.
"Chin up, you're almost home. You are ready? No doubts, its not too late"
She'd held her breath at his words was he being polite or after all this time was he simply not interested. "Yes Master, I'm certain, I'm on my way and ready"
"Good the house needs cleaning and I need my cock serviced" He laughed, she lived for the sound of his laughter, a smile lit her face for the first time in days.
"It will be unlocked, you know what I expect."

With those words, she'd started the rental and with tears streaming down her face pulled from the house that had been a gilded prison, and started to Him.
Driving overnight was a new experience, and one she had nearly not undertaken but in the end it worked best for what she needed, time to think. Time to prepare her mind, and ready her heart for the choices she'd made.
He'd trained her, but reminded her often that toys, voice, text messages and words on a screen were only so effective.  The last few months had been a rigid regimen of diet and exercise preparing her body, as she worked on preparing her mind. Every lesson was there now. Every moment she'd spent learning directly or indirectly at his side in the past years. She'd driven the night through; she'd told him she would stop after 3 hour at the halfway point and sleep. But her mind was awhirl, sleep was not going to be on her agenda and so she'd continued. An hour outside of town, she'd stopped for something to drink and for the cleaning supplies she knew she'd need at the local wal-mart. Smiling as she decided she might need a few other things as well, she picked up a few pillar candles, some massage oil and remembering suddenly that the decision had come through sooner than expected, a box of condoms, though that would be his choice. She wouldn't mislead him though. Her appointment for birth control was still a week away and now she would never keep it, she was several states removed from that world.
Loading the items back into the rental, sliding back into the seat with the water bottle, in her hand, she'd driven into town at nearly 4 A.M. and quickly found a nearby hotel. Knowing she was still too frantic to sleep she'd followed the last few directions, found his house, nestled on the quiet street. Saw the truck sitting in the drive, the soft glow from one of the rooms, knowing it was the television; he always slept with some background noise. Laying her head on the steering wheel she shook, so close, so far. She knew that she could go there, knock on the door and he'd let her in.  He'd never turn her away, but it wasn't right, not like that. It was enough to know he was so close for now.
She pulled back into the hotel and went inside, falling exhausted to the cold bed, willing her mind not to think. She'd slept.
This morning she'd waited until she knew he'd gone to work for the day, and then pulled into the drive. And sat, looking at the door, feeling the warmth of the morning flowing into her skin. She knew she was at the final steps. She sat dazed until her fingers went numb….

Standing in front of the door, she turned the knob and grimaced, the door opened but even from where she stood she could see he'd not exaggerated, the house was a mess!
Sighing softly she dropped her purse on a lump nearby that she thought might have been a chair before papers overran its surface. Tilting her head and blinking she smiled, tears falling softly down her cheeks, two feet in front of her on the floor, a gallon of bleach and gloves and a quickly sprawled reminder "open the windows first"
He'd left this for her, knowing her methods, knowing her mind. She giggled feeling free for the first time in ages and turned, dashing back to the car and gathering up the supplies she'd purchased the night before, leaving the rest of her items still in the car there would be time enough later for that organization, she grabbed the overnight bag, it held what she would need for the day. Walking back into the house she smiled and settled things here and there.
Opening the windows, pulling her heavy tresses into a knot and setting to her task, checking her watch, she'd give herself till noon and no longer to clean the mess. She began with bags and bags (and bags) of trash. Pulling them out to the road, making note that the lawn would need to be cut soon, another detail she could now see too. She used the supplies purchased at wal mart to spray down and disinfect, the new mop to  clean the floors, the rooms soon started looking and smelling of more than just rooms of clutter. Her mind was almost blissfully blank, her only thoughts on pleasing him, on ensuring his happiness.
She tried to ignore the what ifs, the fears.
What if he wasn't pleased, what if she wasn't enough, what if she couldn't do what he asked, what she knew he wanted, what if he found her unacceptable even after all the work? She hated herself for not loosing another 5lbs, she should have spent more time working on flexibility, and maybe she shouldn't have cut her hair that last time.
Every doubt she had ran through her mind, as she scrubbed and cleaned.

10:45 she stood in the living room and surveyed the house. Pillar candles now burned on several surfaces. The rooms gleamed, the house was aired, laundry was done, the bathroom looked like a third world country and the kitchen no longer resembled a biohazard lab.
She got in the car, ran to the local grocer and was back by 11:30, setting the supplies for dinner in the newly clean fridge, something simple and comforting tonight. Spaghetti with salad, and fresh Italian bread with dipping oil.
Looking at the clock put away all the cleaning supplies doing one more walk through of the house, and smiling as the new bedding was placed on His bed, she didn't bother washing the old sheets, just threw them  in the basket for later.
She found the bathroom, the pillars burning, and ran the tub full, taking time to soak in the slightly honeysuckle scented oil before beginning to  cleanse away the dirt of the day, and realizing in the process of cleaning the house, she'd cleared her mind, cleaned away the remains of the past for just today. It would take time before the mental scars all healed. But it was a start.
The warm water was decadent but she dare not linger too long, time was growing short, her anxiety growing more pronounced. She stood,  and allowed the water to drain before rinsing the tub and turning on the shower, washing the waist length cascade of tresses, hoping he'd not be disappointed at her still very curvy body, or the fact she'd cut her hip length hair.
Stepping from the tub  she polished her skin until it glowed, before dropping the towel and beginning to work at drying her hair, the hairdryer heating the confines of the bathroom and the soft flowery scent filling the house. Once dry she combed it out, and used the silk swatch to slide over each strand again and again until her hair gleamed like firelight, and hung in a silken curtain down her back.
She turned and pulled the make up from her back, applying just the basics, gloss, a bit of liner and waterproof mascara, earth tones soft and subtle, no blush, she did that well enough on her own.
She looked back at the clock and shivered, it was nearly time. She pulled the emerald satin robe onto her shoulders, and made quick work of putting the bathroom back in order, putting her things back in the overnight bag, and settling it in the spare bedroom. She made the last minute arrangements, cold drink by the bed, the box of condoms close by, easily within sight.
3:10  Trembling, she settled before the door, letting the robe slide off her shoulders and onto the hardwoods, her fears screaming at her as she sat  kneeling, thighs wide, trembling, shoulders back, nearly holding her breath as she heard the vehicle in the drive. Eyes lowered, hair curtaining around her shivering form, she heard the doorknob turn, felt the light wash through the room and was keenly aware of the very REAL Man standing before her, she couldn't move if she'd tried, and realized she was still holding her breath. She bit her lip and waited, feeling the weight of his gaze and her own fears, skin flushing bright, heat washing through her. The time had come to pay the banker, and she feared his disapproval more than his discipline.