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Jason Was The Cutest Baby Ever Born. If People Told You Otherwise Then They’re Lying:
Lemme see, some interesting facts about your Captain was that he, his younger brother, and his elder sister (she’s married you creepy goblins) were all born on rainy days, and all our birthdays will fall on the same day of the week. As in, my birthday is on Wednesday, thus my siblings share the same fate. When my mom’s water broke, what do you think she did? Logically you may have responded that she rushed off to the tender care of a medical staff. Nay, since there were steaks on sale at the local grocery store, my parents took their time to snag a few to cook in celebration of their upcoming golden child. And then did they bustle on over so that their blue eyed bundle of pooping happiness could be properly delivered with the latest 1980’s technology? You’re 0-2, because they strolled the park for a bit, taking in the wonderful moment, and THEN decided to kinda have that whole labor thing dealt with. Sometimes I think my parents were hippies. It seems my parents kept my gender a fun grab-bag-esque surprise, and found out that their boy was in fact…a boy when I popped out. Yeah and let’s just say the doctor had to be cautious when deciding which one was the umbilical cord…you know…cause I’m insinuating I was a well endowed kid…shuddup. It was made certain that my sister was the very first one to know that she had a brother before anyone else knew about my discovered anatomy. My sister had picked out a stuffed teddy bear for me and I still own my little fuzzy friend. Did you know a teddy bear came into existence from the American president Theodore “Teddy” Roosevelt (the one with the awesome mustache and glasses, not the one in the wheelchair…but they were cousins)? Teddy was an avid hunter, and on one trip he had shot bupkis. His aides wrangled up a bear cub and tied it down for the president to shoot, but furiously the free world leader demanded the animal be set free. When news got back to the States companies spawned the teddy bear as an homage to Roosevelt’s kindness. Crap that was off topic.

Reminder: Jason’s version of mature is anything that won’t be shown on Nick Jr.

Doin’ It Froggy Style:
What kind of sick backwash Twilight Zone voodoo is this? The beloved Cappy, friend to all, loved by many, has college class on his own birthday. I suspect the four horsemen to barrel down my road to deliver my cake personally. And the bittersweet icing is the fact that the class is my dreaded intermediate algebra. If I could make up a word that’s more retarded than the word retarded, then that’s what I’d be when associated with math. Math always starts out fun; its like a puzzle game where you take this number and transfer it there and the rest just fall into place…but then the teacher proclaims, “Now we’re going to scrap all that you’ve learned and do a balls-to-the-wall insane way for the exact same problem, mwahahaha!” I’m convinced the devil invented math just to torture the human race. Knowing I would have little time, I started my b-day pic a little bit ago. I like how the zigzag background pattern continues running thru my Froggit (™) characters. And the hairstyle of Froggit © two makes me giggly in my haha place. I described my awesome pun to Miss Ana, and she retorted that a horny toad was a lizard. Pssh, Ana thinks she’s all smart because she “knows facts”… Kissing a frog and said frog turning into a prince comes from an old fairy tale, so as a gift to all my art buddies I shall Jasontize it for another session of-

Uncle Cappy’s Story Time Fun So Pipe Down You Little Trolls:
Once upon a time, there was a Typo Princess. Dressed in the latest spring princess fashion from the Ye Olde Hot Tropic store, she skipped down to the ye olde pond. “W00T!!!!! I ISH SOO HAPPIEZ 2B OWTSIDE RAWR?!!?!5” came her mangled use of the Queen’s English word. She reached into her trendy 1180’s cartoon character lunch pail…you know, with the decal depicting the Rainbow Sprite, who’s episodes chronicled its useless talent of making rainbows at whim that the sprite thought helped make the world better…but they don’t. What could she possibly have been keeping safe within the lunch pail? Why, those Chinese meditating orbs, of course. Gee, now why would she need relaxation tools, I wonder? She held the two metallic spheres in her palm and shouted “OMG I LUVER TEH SHINY BALLZ!!!@@!!@ LOLROFL I SAID BALLZ HAHAHAHAHAWORGLE!!!!!!!!!111!!”
Ribbito, the resident frog of the pond, was awoken by the banter of the royal pain and decided to make his presence known. With a raspy voice the amphibian bellowed, “Gwark, hey princccesss!!” In a blatantly melodramatic gesture, the level 5 white mage of a girl squealed and flailed her hands about when she saw the magnificent talking toad…and subsequently launched the meditation balls into the lagoon.
“WAIIII??!?!?! <:`-(( <--I MAKE SAD FACE SEE?!!!!!” screamed the princess who was voted most likely to end up in a troubled marriage by her peers. “Gwark,” consoled Ribbito, “Being a frog, I can ssswim down and get your ballsss for you.” “HA HA U SAID BALLZ!!! OKIEZ U DO THAT” “Umm, no.” croaked the littlest slime wad. “Firssst you mussst promissse to kisss me for helping you out! For I am in reality a handsssome princcce, transssformed my a nasssty witch! Man, there were too many s’sss in my ssspeech…” “HUZZAH!!!! I R 2 GLOMP TEH WIDDLE FRWOGGIEZ****(&%^%$#” Assuming that he had agreed, Ribbito plopped into the murky waters.
Down, down, down he swam until at last coming across the sought after spheres. Taking a hold of both, the Toad managed to steer himself upright and back to his attention deficit lady. The Typo Princess was so overjoyed that she pounced on the heroic frog…and SPLAT…poor Ribbito was crushed to death.
The Moral Of The Story: If you showcase a pair of big balls then chances are you’ll get laid by even a princess.

For the art geeks: Micron Pigma pen 08 (.50mm), various color pencil collection
-The “21 And Still Promotes Being-Alcohol Free!” Captain

Description
Jason Was The Cutest Baby Ever Born. If People Told You Otherwise Then They’re Lying:
Lemme see, some interesting facts about your Captain was that he, his younger brother, and his elder sister (she’s married you creepy goblins) were all born on rainy days, and all our birthdays will fall on the same day of the week. As in, my birthday is on Wednesday, thus my siblings share the same fate. When my mom’s water broke, what do you think she did? Logically you may have responded that she rushed off to the tender care of a medical staff. Nay, since there were steaks on sale at the local grocery store, my parents took their time to snag a few to cook in celebration of their upcoming golden child. And then did they bustle on over so that their blue eyed bundle of pooping happiness could be properly delivered with the latest 1980’s technology? You’re 0-2, because they strolled the park for a bit, taking in the wonderful moment, and THEN decided to kinda have that whole labor thing dealt with. Sometimes I think my parents were hippies. It seems my parents kept my gender a fun grab-bag-esque surprise, and found out that their boy was in fact…a boy when I popped out. Yeah and let’s just say the doctor had to be cautious when deciding which one was the umbilical cord…you know…cause I’m insinuating I was a well endowed kid…shuddup. It was made certain that my sister was the very first one to know that she had a brother before anyone else knew about my discovered anatomy. My sister had picked out a stuffed teddy bear for me and I still own my little fuzzy friend. Did you know a teddy bear came into existence from the American president Theodore “Teddy” Roosevelt (the one with the awesome mustache and glasses, not the one in the wheelchair…but they were cousins)? Teddy was an avid hunter, and on one trip he had shot bupkis. His aides wrangled up a bear cub and tied it down for the president to shoot, but furiously the free world leader demanded the animal be set free. When news got back to the States companies spawned the teddy bear as an homage to Roosevelt’s kindness. Crap that was off topic.

Reminder: Jason’s version of mature is anything that won’t be shown on Nick Jr.

Doin’ It Froggy Style:
What kind of sick backwash Twilight Zone voodoo is this? The beloved Cappy, friend to all, loved by many, has college class on his own birthday. I suspect the four horsemen to barrel down my road to deliver my cake personally. And the bittersweet icing is the fact that the class is my dreaded intermediate algebra. If I could make up a word that’s more retarded than the word retarded, then that’s what I’d be when associated with math. Math always starts out fun; its like a puzzle game where you take this number and transfer it there and the rest just fall into place…but then the teacher proclaims, “Now we’re going to scrap all that you’ve learned and do a balls-to-the-wall insane way for the exact same problem, mwahahaha!” I’m convinced the devil invented math just to torture the human race. Knowing I would have little time, I started my b-day pic a little bit ago. I like how the zigzag background pattern continues running thru my Froggit (™) characters. And the hairstyle of Froggit © two makes me giggly in my haha place. I described my awesome pun to Miss Ana, and she retorted that a horny toad was a lizard. Pssh, Ana thinks she’s all smart because she “knows facts”… Kissing a frog and said frog turning into a prince comes from an old fairy tale, so as a gift to all my art buddies I shall Jasontize it for another session of-

Uncle Cappy’s Story Time Fun So Pipe Down You Little Trolls:
Once upon a time, there was a Typo Princess. Dressed in the latest spring princess fashion from the Ye Olde Hot Tropic store, she skipped down to the ye olde pond. “W00T!!!!! I ISH SOO HAPPIEZ 2B OWTSIDE RAWR?!!?!5” came her mangled use of the Queen’s English word. She reached into her trendy 1180’s cartoon character lunch pail…you know, with the decal depicting the Rainbow Sprite, who’s episodes chronicled its useless talent of making rainbows at whim that the sprite thought helped make the world better…but they don’t. What could she possibly have been keeping safe within the lunch pail? Why, those Chinese meditating orbs, of course. Gee, now why would she need relaxation tools, I wonder? She held the two metallic spheres in her palm and shouted “OMG I LUVER TEH SHINY BALLZ!!!@@!!@ LOLROFL I SAID BALLZ HAHAHAHAHAWORGLE!!!!!!!!!111!!”
Ribbito, the resident frog of the pond, was awoken by the banter of the royal pain and decided to make his presence known. With a raspy voice the amphibian bellowed, “Gwark, hey princccesss!!” In a blatantly melodramatic gesture, the level 5 white mage of a girl squealed and flailed her hands about when she saw the magnificent talking toad…and subsequently launched the meditation balls into the lagoon.
“WAIIII??!?!?! <:`-(( <--I MAKE SAD FACE SEE?!!!!!” screamed the princess who was voted most likely to end up in a troubled marriage by her peers. “Gwark,” consoled Ribbito, “Being a frog, I can ssswim down and get your ballsss for you.” “HA HA U SAID BALLZ!!! OKIEZ U DO THAT” “Umm, no.” croaked the littlest slime wad. “Firssst you mussst promissse to kisss me for helping you out! For I am in reality a handsssome princcce, transssformed my a nasssty witch! Man, there were too many s’sss in my ssspeech…” “HUZZAH!!!! I R 2 GLOMP TEH WIDDLE FRWOGGIEZ****(&%^%$#” Assuming that he had agreed, Ribbito plopped into the murky waters.
Down, down, down he swam until at last coming across the sought after spheres. Taking a hold of both, the Toad managed to steer himself upright and back to his attention deficit lady. The Typo Princess was so overjoyed that she pounced on the heroic frog…and SPLAT…poor Ribbito was crushed to death.
The Moral Of The Story: If you showcase a pair of big balls then chances are you’ll get laid by even a princess.

For the art geeks: Micron Pigma pen 08 (.50mm), various color pencil collection
-The “21 And Still Promotes Being-Alcohol Free!” Captain