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Description

...OLd Man Welcher... everyone knew who he was, because he was iconic int he city of WEirdberg. Old Man Welcher had it all. Pensionj, house, and the freedom that comes with being an elder who has long lived in life and has no more responsibilities on part of being an elderly, person. That was, until, things got...weird, in Weirdberg. Needless to say, I shan't. Let's start at the beginning, shall we?

8124, he was born, the same year as Pikmin 6, the game. Needless to say, he was a smashing hit. The Old Man (a Young Baby (at the time)) was an instant hit among the hopsital nurses, who were in awe and awestruck by his sharp features (chiseled jawline, square shaped face, and oblong head). He Looked Like a Bloody Old Man!! AND HE was only a BABY! How could a man who had even looked like such an old mjan have been a baby, in 8124. The nurses had been awestruck, that is until, shan't we say, the parents came to pick up [the Old Man]. The Old Man (as a baby) was taken to his home, a large spiraling pillar shaped building that held the form of a cylinder. The Cylinder-Coded Building had a volume of 4836.2 shellgits (the units used in Weirdberg). That''s pretty big. For comparison, see my first post.

Insidew the house there was a large spiraling staircase, which led to rooms and doors. Inside the doors there were more rooms. Some of the rooms were used for sleeping, while others had other purposes. For example, there was a roomd edicated toward Cookiing, which the Old Man's family dubbed [the Kitchen]. There was also a room, where the parents would do the laundry for their newborn CHILD. This room (again, where (they) did laundry for their newborn bundle of joy) was called the Laundry Room. You see the point.

One day, the Old Man (still a youngin') at this point, found himself in a room called The Oscillator. This room was strictly OFF LIMITS! for the Old Man; his parents would constantly warn him of the dangers within, the hooky hooks that would, hook, the dangerous apparatus within. Needless to say, so I shall, the Old Man Was intrigued yet cautious, in a way. He was resolute to find the hidden treasure he SWORE was in the room dubbed The Oscillator. So, one day, when he was a bit older and more rebellious, he took "matters" into his old hands and opened the door. Carefully, carefully, carefully, go super slow...careful, or else something might happen. Be careful!

He was going so quietly, and sneakily, and carefully. Until,

A BIG wire CAME down from the ceiling and attached itself to the Old Man (still a young boy at the time)'s back of his head. "Gee-zooks!" he shrieked! But it was too late. It had its grip. And then, it began...OSCILLATING.

Around and around he was dragg-ed. The wire was zipping all over the room, up and down, left and right, cross and cross. It was utterly hopeless. He yelled, and barked, and screamed while he was at it. He NEEDED to get out of that BLOODY ROOM!!

His parents CAME. Bursting in! "WHAT ARE you doing?!" they remarked. They tried to get him down, and they found something called ... "The Failsafe." It was a lever. They pulled it. The machine whirred. It's hissing growing LOUDeer, and LOUDEr, until it stoppe.d.. Silence.,..but deafening TENSENESS.

"Old MAN?!" the parents ventured...are you in tjhere?

The Old Man came down from the wire, its grip loosening. He was dropped to the floor. He was fine. Alive, that is. Needless to say, changed. His parents looked on in fear. All that oscillation, that movement, caused a distortion. The constant "Stretch Effect" of the oscillation had taken its toll. The Old Man was left warped, distroted. The wire had stretched, leaving him with a big stretched lump in the back of his head.

It. Was. Over. From that day on, the Old Man was made fun of, spit on, looked down on, eaten on, stepped on, laughed at, discarded, wasted, left to rot. His parents tried their best—and they loved him still, oh they loved him so!—but it mattered not. His life, was ruined.

And he grew up a loner. And he grow old a loner. And he grew and grew, older and older, sadder and sadder. He would never be the same. He would never find solace in a lover, in a friend, in even an accomplice. He was a victim of chance, a perpetrator of society.

But, he was content. For he felt no need for the scars upon which to be placed were because of the actions he'd suffered. He'd dared to venture, and he'd do it all OVER AGAIN. Because. That's what he was supposed to do. And if people couldn't handle that, then what good are they? To cast one into scorn is sin, but to scorn oneself is folly.

Description

...OLd Man Welcher... everyone knew who he was, because he was iconic int he city of WEirdberg. Old Man Welcher had it all. Pensionj, house, and the freedom that comes with being an elder who has long lived in life and has no more responsibilities on part of being an elderly, person. That was, until, things got...weird, in Weirdberg. Needless to say, I shan't. Let's start at the beginning, shall we?

8124, he was born, the same year as Pikmin 6, the game. Needless to say, he was a smashing hit. The Old Man (a Young Baby (at the time)) was an instant hit among the hopsital nurses, who were in awe and awestruck by his sharp features (chiseled jawline, square shaped face, and oblong head). He Looked Like a Bloody Old Man!! AND HE was only a BABY! How could a man who had even looked like such an old mjan have been a baby, in 8124. The nurses had been awestruck, that is until, shan't we say, the parents came to pick up [the Old Man]. The Old Man (as a baby) was taken to his home, a large spiraling pillar shaped building that held the form of a cylinder. The Cylinder-Coded Building had a volume of 4836.2 shellgits (the units used in Weirdberg). That''s pretty big. For comparison, see my first post.

Insidew the house there was a large spiraling staircase, which led to rooms and doors. Inside the doors there were more rooms. Some of the rooms were used for sleeping, while others had other purposes. For example, there was a roomd edicated toward Cookiing, which the Old Man's family dubbed [the Kitchen]. There was also a room, where the parents would do the laundry for their newborn CHILD. This room (again, where (they) did laundry for their newborn bundle of joy) was called the Laundry Room. You see the point.

One day, the Old Man (still a youngin') at this point, found himself in a room called The Oscillator. This room was strictly OFF LIMITS! for the Old Man; his parents would constantly warn him of the dangers within, the hooky hooks that would, hook, the dangerous apparatus within. Needless to say, so I shall, the Old Man Was intrigued yet cautious, in a way. He was resolute to find the hidden treasure he SWORE was in the room dubbed The Oscillator. So, one day, when he was a bit older and more rebellious, he took "matters" into his old hands and opened the door. Carefully, carefully, carefully, go super slow...careful, or else something might happen. Be careful!

He was going so quietly, and sneakily, and carefully. Until,

A BIG wire CAME down from the ceiling and attached itself to the Old Man (still a young boy at the time)'s back of his head. "Gee-zooks!" he shrieked! But it was too late. It had its grip. And then, it began...OSCILLATING.

Around and around he was dragg-ed. The wire was zipping all over the room, up and down, left and right, cross and cross. It was utterly hopeless. He yelled, and barked, and screamed while he was at it. He NEEDED to get out of that BLOODY ROOM!!

His parents CAME. Bursting in! "WHAT ARE you doing?!" they remarked. They tried to get him down, and they found something called ... "The Failsafe." It was a lever. They pulled it. The machine whirred. It's hissing growing LOUDeer, and LOUDEr, until it stoppe.d.. Silence.,..but deafening TENSENESS.

"Old MAN?!" the parents ventured...are you in tjhere?

The Old Man came down from the wire, its grip loosening. He was dropped to the floor. He was fine. Alive, that is. Needless to say, changed. His parents looked on in fear. All that oscillation, that movement, caused a distortion. The constant "Stretch Effect" of the oscillation had taken its toll. The Old Man was left warped, distroted. The wire had stretched, leaving him with a big stretched lump in the back of his head.

It. Was. Over. From that day on, the Old Man was made fun of, spit on, looked down on, eaten on, stepped on, laughed at, discarded, wasted, left to rot. His parents tried their best—and they loved him still, oh they loved him so!—but it mattered not. His life, was ruined.

And he grew up a loner. And he grow old a loner. And he grew and grew, older and older, sadder and sadder. He would never be the same. He would never find solace in a lover, in a friend, in even an accomplice. He was a victim of chance, a perpetrator of society.

But, he was content. For he felt no need for the scars upon which to be placed were because of the actions he'd suffered. He'd dared to venture, and he'd do it all OVER AGAIN. Because. That's what he was supposed to do. And if people couldn't handle that, then what good are they? To cast one into scorn is sin, but to scorn oneself is folly.