HOME | DD

Description
Perfect. Part 2:ack and Charley.

Realisation.

~Charley's POV:

I began to scribble furiously down on my notebook.
Why don't I have the same feelings that a girl has to me? Is there something wrong with me? Am I dying? What is going on?! Someone, anyone...just give me some answers already! I don't want this...thing inside of me that's telling me that this feeling is okay, when I know that it's not!
I looked up, my eyes widening in a sudden realisation, then scratched some more words down as my stomach felt like it was tying itself into a knot at the same time. I began to breathe heavily to myself, and started to cry.
No...I can't be! That's impossible! I would have known this ages ago! This isn't right! God didn't set me up for this! Not now, not ever!
One of my tears fell on to the book.
I can't be gay!
More came, smudging the blue ink. I closed the notebook carefully; I didn't have enough effort to bother slamming it down. I brought my knees up to my chin and buried my head in between my legs. And I just sat there, crying. Blaming my God for his reasons for this. It's not right; it's just a phase you're going through, Charley. It's nothing to get too worked up about. I tried to convince myself, but the more I tried, the more I thought about it. I didn't want to accept it; to me, gay relationships, gay feelings, gay sex...it's all wrong to me...but I kinda liked the thought, after a while. It's a task, Charley; God didn't bring you up to be gay. You're gonna get married to a nice young woman soon, and have kids with her and stuff...
No. I rethought. No, I don't want that. Wait...is it wrong to act against God's will for procreation in this way? Will he punish me for accepting the new truth? No. He made me this way for a reason. I won't destroy the chances he gives me. If being gay is something that I'll just have to face for the rest of my life, then let it be.

I slowly began to stop crying. I wiped my eyes and took a long stare at myself in the mirror. I didn't look gay; I didn't wear skinny jeans or v-necks. I looked like a normal boy. It's because you are a normal boy, Charley.
Normal is just a strong word. There is no such thing. No-one is normal. Our actions are judged, however, and we call them normal or weird.
There were so many people I wanted to tell. Surely talking about it would make me feel a little better? Just the thought of it did. Wait, no. Who am I kidding?! My strict Evangelical Christian family would abandon me. I would be unloved for the rest of my life. I would bring shame upon them. I don't want to do that!
Maybe hiding the truth by dating girls would be the better option for me...? No, then I would be unhappy. Oh, jeez, this is hard to figure out... I gave a girl a try, and it didn't work. That's okay, right? You win some, you lose some. But guys...I've never really thought about a guy I've ever liked. Wait. I'm wrong. I think that I like Jack.

Description
Perfect. Part 2:ack and Charley.

Realisation.

~Charley's POV:

I began to scribble furiously down on my notebook.
Why don't I have the same feelings that a girl has to me? Is there something wrong with me? Am I dying? What is going on?! Someone, anyone...just give me some answers already! I don't want this...thing inside of me that's telling me that this feeling is okay, when I know that it's not!
I looked up, my eyes widening in a sudden realisation, then scratched some more words down as my stomach felt like it was tying itself into a knot at the same time. I began to breathe heavily to myself, and started to cry.
No...I can't be! That's impossible! I would have known this ages ago! This isn't right! God didn't set me up for this! Not now, not ever!
One of my tears fell on to the book.
I can't be gay!
More came, smudging the blue ink. I closed the notebook carefully; I didn't have enough effort to bother slamming it down. I brought my knees up to my chin and buried my head in between my legs. And I just sat there, crying. Blaming my God for his reasons for this. It's not right; it's just a phase you're going through, Charley. It's nothing to get too worked up about. I tried to convince myself, but the more I tried, the more I thought about it. I didn't want to accept it; to me, gay relationships, gay feelings, gay sex...it's all wrong to me...but I kinda liked the thought, after a while. It's a task, Charley; God didn't bring you up to be gay. You're gonna get married to a nice young woman soon, and have kids with her and stuff...
No. I rethought. No, I don't want that. Wait...is it wrong to act against God's will for procreation in this way? Will he punish me for accepting the new truth? No. He made me this way for a reason. I won't destroy the chances he gives me. If being gay is something that I'll just have to face for the rest of my life, then let it be.

I slowly began to stop crying. I wiped my eyes and took a long stare at myself in the mirror. I didn't look gay; I didn't wear skinny jeans or v-necks. I looked like a normal boy. It's because you are a normal boy, Charley.
Normal is just a strong word. There is no such thing. No-one is normal. Our actions are judged, however, and we call them normal or weird.
There were so many people I wanted to tell. Surely talking about it would make me feel a little better? Just the thought of it did. Wait, no. Who am I kidding?! My strict Evangelical Christian family would abandon me. I would be unloved for the rest of my life. I would bring shame upon them. I don't want to do that!
Maybe hiding the truth by dating girls would be the better option for me...? No, then I would be unhappy. Oh, jeez, this is hard to figure out... I gave a girl a try, and it didn't work. That's okay, right? You win some, you lose some. But guys...I've never really thought about a guy I've ever liked. Wait. I'm wrong. I think that I like Jack.