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NerdyAssassin94 — I'd Be Pretty If I'd Just...
Published: 2012-11-19 00:05:39 +0000 UTC; Views: 8146; Favourites: 706; Downloads: 139
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Description
I'd be pretty if I'd just smileIf I'd cut my hair a certain way
And cover myself up in that chemical crap you call make-up
But did you ever think that just maybe...
I don't wanna be pretty
That I just wanna be me
Who cares if no one ever calls me beautiful
Who cares if I'm never asked to dance
Hell I don't even know how to dance anyway
I don't care how the world sees me
I only care how I see me
And I think there's nothing wrong with the girl in the mirror
Sure she doesn't smile much but that's cause she's going through hell
Her face may look plain without any make-up
But that's just the way I like it
An old pair of jeans
The first t-shirt could find
My hair in a braid
I'm ready to go
To where no one cares just what I look like
Least of all me
It's a barn full of horses
That's where I choose to spend my days
Where no one cares about what I wear
Where I never have to hear "I'd be pretty if I'd just..."
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Comments: 402
Thank you for inspiring me to make this~~ [link]
Really amazing literature~ <3
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I didn't write the comment before, from this account. it was my friend. And I've gotta say, I'mm glad you replied, because I woulda never seen this.
I mean, I do care what people think of me, way to much in fact. but... this has opened my eyes to why other people act. And it's not like I treat them differently when they're all "non-feeling" but... I get it. thanks <3
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it's like you jumped into my life! 
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welcome, fantastic gallery btw
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This. is. me.
Only I spend time with my pets. Haven't got any horses. lol
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It's an interesting sentiment, and if you truly feel that way then I applaud you, because it is a state of mind that is a lot healthier than mine.
However, there is so little of you in this poem. The I you use is so generalised. In fact the only times we see you- the person who wrote this - is when you describe your hair, your clothes and your lack of make up. All physical things. So the way you have presented yourself in this poem is contradictory to the thought you seem to be trying to express.
There is a hint of anger (chemical crap) but it is countered by the defensive undertones (I only care how I see me...)
I am really struggling with this poem, because whilst the thought is a good, positive, self empowering one, there seems to be no more to this work. There is not enough of the narrative voice for me to connect to it personally, or empathically.. The reader has to supply their own experiences of feeling outcast to relate to it, which should be instigated by the poet.
A reader should be brought to think about things by your use of language, not by the fact they happen to agree with the sentiment. A sentiment which you did not even conclusively sketch for us. The text has so many implicit moments in which you seem to betray yourself as caring deeply, which as an artist would be only natural. For me this poem started as you trying to explore how you dont like being judged for how you look, and how you feel secure in the company of horses - but you didnt expand that thought to the fact that you wouldnt hate being judged if you didnt care. The text doesnt make sense to me.
The language is simplistic, BUT, that does kind of work for this poem. It gives a simple, uncaring feeling to the poem. But I doubt if that was intentional.. I would love to see descriptive and emotive language utilised to back up your point. The horses that provide you with so much comfort are resigned to one word - horses. That's all we, as the reader, therefore know about them. One adjective, one carefully selected adjective, could give us insight into how you feel about them, how they treat you... There's so much opportunity in this poem for you to do more.
I used to write poetry without punctuation or care to rhythm because I wanted to pour my feelings out to carthasise myself - which is great, its a great place to start, but your work needs to evolve beyond that initial outpour of thoughts or feelings to become a polished poem which shares your expression of an experience you have had, felt or thought..
There needs to be more care in how you present your ideas to your audience if you want to draw them through your experience with you and connect in that way.
If you didn't want to talk about yourself too much you could have used the horses and characterised them. Made them narratively like confidants that you drew comfort from, tell a story about the emotional support or serenity that they give you, and that would have given the reader something to hook into.
There are many ways to tell a story, or to share a thought. Lots of people liked this, so I'm probably talking crap anyway, but I feel like this is over simplified emotionally so that a wide range of people would relate to it, rather than sharing YOU.
Remember though that as a poet, its up to you what you want to put into your work, so no amount of critique from anyone needs to make a damned bit of difference. What do I know after all ?
As for the going through hell bit, I'm sorry to hear it. But keep writing about it because as I write this 741 people feel less alone because of what you shared with them. That's pretty amazing. You're pretty amazing, so keep rocking.
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Thanks I quite honestly woke up from a restless sleep(around like 3am) and just started writing this I posted it for the hell of it. I never thought so many people would read this. I'm honored and amazed so many have liked it.
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I love this. It is so true. The world can be so blind sometimes.
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I honestly don't like horses. At all. But I'd far prefer to be around animals, even horses, than someone who doesn't know what I'm going through yet still judges me based on outward appearance and the amount of friends I have.
I'd be pretty if I'd just be completely perfect. But in a world where even perfection is flawed, I'd rather be as imperfect as possible.
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rockin the jeans and sweatshirts XD
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You've got a beautiful personality. I wish I was brave enough to do that... to not listen to what anyone says... but I'm too self concious.
Either way, I love your poem.
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That's why my best friend's my dog ~
I don't see what's the big deal with being "beautiful", why doss everybody care about it so much? It's kinda ridiculous....
I can really relate to this...favourite!
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OMG!! I LOVE you!!!! I know exactly how you feel!!! This is beautiful! i love to ride when im sad.
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Ignore the people who give you crap, there is a pressure to feel and look 'beautiful', and everyone who chooses to look like themselves instead of altering their appearance is a victory against what society tells us we should look like
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My friends always say that I would look pretty if I didn't wear my glasses and if I put make up on my face for once.... Anyway, I like this a lot!!
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I got that from my friends so much in high school and thanks!
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I started reading this when I logged on and I just had to read the rest of it because this is me (except it does bug me when people, aka friends, say, oh you look sooooo pretty w/make-up, you look soooo pretty w/o glasses, etc. and I'm just like, I don't care)....It's amazing how much this does resemble me (minus the horses, but I can wish!)
Anyways:
Very nicely written, it creates a powerful emotion when you read it. I wish more girls felt like this though because they all care way too much. I really love this, good job!
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Totes relatable and i love it. From what i just read, it doesnt mattwr if you're pretty. Yu're beautiful on the inside.
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From the heart sista.
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I am perfectly content with my appearance but would like to give a hug for people who spend lots of time doing makeup only the girls at my school who are self conscious about it.
They wear a pretty big lot of it and I see it as a mask and you are beautiful without makeup. lat year in 9th grade I found myself randomly putting on makeup in the middle of class just to impress a certain dingbat ex! I just liked reapplying it and I am like..NO I am not THIS. I only wear lipgloss and a bit of powder
and black eyeliner if I COULD FIND IT XD
but if it makes you feel good or you simply like creating looks/for fun and there is nothing wrong with using makeup whenever you please! It's human!
Nice poem though and congrats on all the feedback hun
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Thanks! And I'm not saying I've never put on make-up I have, but I do it cause I feel like it. Usually I'm bored and just messing around a bit.
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I would ask you to dance, because doesn't everyone deserve a chance?
Hey it rhymes!
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I simply adore your poem and can relate entirely, but I just wish I had that mindset
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First, I want to say that I think that this is a beautiful poem. Most girls can relate to this, even the ones who are obsessed about their looks because many of them wish they could have such a carefree attitude about their appearance.
I would like to note, though, for you and the other girls relating to this post, that there's nothing wrong with wanting to look pretty. A part of being female is an inclination towards beautiful things and deep down, every girl wants to know if they are beautiful. Not attractive or sexy or even normal. They want to know if they too are of thing of beauty like the things they are drawn to. They want to know if they are a beautiful person (which is also why we care so much about what other people think of us; we want to know if it shows). Many women express this desire by focusing on their appearance. Here in Deviantart, you'll find many who express their desire for beauty through their artwork or writing. We love to create beautiful things because if we can create something beautiful, something inside us must be beautiful too. This isn't a selfish desire. Its what makes us female. And without it, there would be much less beauty in the world.
I'm sorry for writing such a book about this but I think it is very important that girls know this. Too many girls feel very guilty and shallow because they care about their appearance. It's wonderful that you can see your inner beauty in something other than a mirror. This truly is a wonderful poem.
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Thanks! And I get what you're saying.
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You sound a lot more beautiful than a lot of people who follow the trends that make you "pretty", and I've noticed that even this small snippet of voice tells a lot about someone.
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Nicely-written! But what's wrong with a little vanity? Surely you don't believe covering up some zits with concealer is "bad" do you?
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Thanks! A little vanity isn't bad I do agree with you on that.
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She didnt say it would be bad just not for her
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