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Description
Zoro faced off against Monet in the biscuit room, holding her back as the others escaped. Monet was just beginning to show the true power of the snow-snow fruit. The swordman defended against her attacks, well able to keep up with her speed. His swords clashed against the ice picks gripped in her talons. Icy wind swirled around them and the temperature was rapidly dropping. "Not used to the cold, are you?" Monet teased. Zoro didn't respond. Focusing on her movement, he made an offensive strike. His sword easily cut through her body, but it wove back together. "You're not using haki?" She laughed, "This may be easier than I thought." Zoro scowled, and continued attacking. His movement was slowing, the room was becoming blurred with heavy snowfall. Monet licked her lips and circled around him, then swiftly closed in for a decisive strike. The ice pick drove into his hand causing him to drop his sword. It was quickly buried in the snow. She repeated the same to disarm him of his other swords. Before he had the chance to recover, Monet dropped her weapons and dug her talons into his shoulders. "I haven't had a good meal on this island for a long time..." She leaned her upper body towards him and opened her mouth to an unnatural gape, revealing sharp icy teeth. Zoro was frozen in place as his head was enclosed in her jaws. She bit lightly on his neck, just enough to prevent him from fighting back. Her talons released from his shoulders and she swallowed his head, pulling his chest into her throat. His arms struggled against her and tried to push her back, but he was still helpless to the bird-woman consuming him. She swallowed again, forcing his arms to his sides and squeezing his upper half inside of her. She pushed his kicking legs into her mouth and swallowed a final time. Zoro's entire body was forced into her stomach. Monet's belly swelled outwards, twitching and shaking from the prisoner struggling inside. "You're useless without your weapons. And once you're inside me, there's no escape." Unable to fly from the extra weight, she walked into another room and settled down on the floor to enjoy the aftermath of a filling meal.

(Tell me about my writing, do I use too many commas? (⁠- ◡ -⁠;⁠) )

Description
Zoro faced off against Monet in the biscuit room, holding her back as the others escaped. Monet was just beginning to show the true power of the snow-snow fruit. The swordman defended against her attacks, well able to keep up with her speed. His swords clashed against the ice picks gripped in her talons. Icy wind swirled around them and the temperature was rapidly dropping. "Not used to the cold, are you?" Monet teased. Zoro didn't respond. Focusing on her movement, he made an offensive strike. His sword easily cut through her body, but it wove back together. "You're not using haki?" She laughed, "This may be easier than I thought." Zoro scowled, and continued attacking. His movement was slowing, the room was becoming blurred with heavy snowfall. Monet licked her lips and circled around him, then swiftly closed in for a decisive strike. The ice pick drove into his hand causing him to drop his sword. It was quickly buried in the snow. She repeated the same to disarm him of his other swords. Before he had the chance to recover, Monet dropped her weapons and dug her talons into his shoulders. "I haven't had a good meal on this island for a long time..." She leaned her upper body towards him and opened her mouth to an unnatural gape, revealing sharp icy teeth. Zoro was frozen in place as his head was enclosed in her jaws. She bit lightly on his neck, just enough to prevent him from fighting back. Her talons released from his shoulders and she swallowed his head, pulling his chest into her throat. His arms struggled against her and tried to push her back, but he was still helpless to the bird-woman consuming him. She swallowed again, forcing his arms to his sides and squeezing his upper half inside of her. She pushed his kicking legs into her mouth and swallowed a final time. Zoro's entire body was forced into her stomach. Monet's belly swelled outwards, twitching and shaking from the prisoner struggling inside. "You're useless without your weapons. And once you're inside me, there's no escape." Unable to fly from the extra weight, she walked into another room and settled down on the floor to enjoy the aftermath of a filling meal.

(Tell me about my writing, do I use too many commas? (⁠- ◡ -⁠;⁠) )