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Description
When my vision goes black
And the edges of
Coherency
Smudge, in vibrant daydreams -
I know
I know that I need
To stop doing this
To stop being so,
Being so damn scared.
I know that I
Am the reason I’m
Unhappy; I give
Unrealistically
And I take
Too fickly.
And I know that I
Am the only one who hates me.
And I know that I can ramble
Jesus,
I could fucking ramble for hours
About you, about me about
About what I used to have
About what I used to feel
About what

Listen,
There’s a tide;
A force that pulls me
Away from you -
Away from
Where I want to be
And, goddamn,
My nails have been
Pulled off so,
So many
Times
When I try to bury my grip
Into the sand
So I can maybe,
Maybe become
Whole

But the sand gives way,
As it always does.
And the tide washes me away,
As it always does.
But my heart stays.
And my dreams stay.
And the desire
To see the sun
Rise
Over the wharf
Will bury itself
As the salted soma
Poisons my
Lungs
And maybe
Maybe one day
You will find it
And you’ll know

You’ll know that I’m
Still fighting