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prufock — SnowGirl
Published: 2002-03-04 02:22:07 +0000 UTC; Views: 338; Favourites: 7; Downloads: 16
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Description
SnowGirli have shaped your head,
arms, breasts, patted you,
turned you between my palms,
rolled you in the snow,
and assembled you
piece by piece. you stand
a monument to curves,
hips, shoulders, mop-top
hairdo, molded nose,
eyes dark as coal.
you grin at me,
i smile back.
a touch of whimsy,
your candy nipples,
ju-jubes, red and green.
you my Eve,
and i am Adam, and i'm a god,
and i would love to touch you,
hold you, lay you down and love you,
but the heat of our passion
would melt you.
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Comments: 9
She would melt if you had sex with her. Or she would be definetly getting smaller.
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gotta love it for it's delicious twist on the end. yeah!
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This was like a guilty pleasure. I was reading it thinking...heh this is pretty sensual he is going to address that and go right for the melt and you did and it still works. It isn't hackneyed like one would normally expect from knowing where your going to end up in a poem. This is because of the beautiful imagery and music. It is more about more fully experiencing what is known than looking for something new. Another fantastic piece.
j
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ooooh, this is so cool. i think i'll watch you now.
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this is really playful and fun, but the end sort of twists it a little. nice work.
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i can offer you nothing on this piece other than my tears of joy in having found it. thank you.
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All I ever built were snow forts for huge wars of DOOM!
I like how metrically your line builds up to "i smile back." At that point and after it, the voice in my head has a slight tone change, I don't know if you see it too or I'm in my own world but I like it .
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Writing is what I do inbetween breathing.
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