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Published: 2012-03-05 18:53:04 +0000 UTC; Views: 21740; Favourites: 872; Downloads: 614
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Dear Unborn Child, Whom I Let Go;When I was thirteen and four months old, and you were thirteen years younger, I decided to let you go. You squirmed in opposition beneath my ribcage, up against my pelvis, and I licked my lips and tried to smile while I leaned my forehead on the cool glass of the car, hellbound.
I remember sea weed insertion, dilation, cramps and bleeding. Orange smoothies from Dairy Queen that I threw up, and I hoped you were mingling in the remains of my summer day treat, so I could put this behind me. Pretend I was 'moving on'. I laid in the bathtub of a hotel room for six hours, trying to melt you away in scalding water from a rusty tap, yet you clung on, holding tightly to the walls of my pelvic region. Wiggling upwards, towards my throat. Past my teeth. You're trying to get out, but my family has decided you won't breathe when you're released from your bloody shackles; you may as well settle down now, sweet son, settle down.
The rest of this, to me, is a blur. There is a car ride, and protestors. I know you had finger nails, eyelids, heft and weight. I know how you were created. I am (was) just stupid, and I knew (thought) I was in love with a deviant, and a bastard, but after you are expelled I will go back to him. I think we both knew that. There is a chair, and an elderly woman, forceps, an injection. And after...there is a hazy forty-five minutes where I believe that I have died. Hope I have died. Realize I have not, and blink slowly under the glare of clinical lighting.
I caught a glimpse of you, my boy, before you were completely removed from this world; bloody chunks quiet and gleaming, no longer moving, no longer clawing your way up my windpipe to exit through the gaps in my teeth.
I don't know if I will miss you.
Antibiotics. My mother cried as she handed me the bulky package. I don't know if she cried for you, or for me, or for herself at my age. I will never know, I won't ever care. I don't even know why I remember that she asked me, after, if I was sure. I believe the proper question would have been are YOU sure, Mother. Are you sure the steps you've taken in your life that have brought us to this point were the ones you intended. Are you sure?
I remember you, small being, as I hold my daughter's hand, now. In a crowded mall, or sweeping dust bunnies from the floor in my kitchen. When my youngest wears blue, I wonder if she looks like you would have, and when my eldest stares at me in that unsettling way, that way only children know how to do, I believe that somewhere, somehow, you're staring at me like that too.
Always;
Your Mother
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Comments: 1187
pullingcandy In reply to ??? [2012-04-13 05:00:58 +0000 UTC]
I don't hide comments unless they are racist or completely ridiculous. That being said, I'll clear some things up for you.
1) I didn't ask for a daily deviation. I certainly didn't ask for you to read the deviation and I absolutely did not expect to be featured.
2) I was 13. I was addicted to cocaine, homeless, in an abusive relationship, and...13. I made some mistakes because I come from an..interesting family, to say the least. The matriarch was my Grandmother. It was her decision because she came from a time period when this would have been considered a scandal. I hid it, whether from myself or from my family I never really figured out, until I couldn't any longer because on a lucid day, I became scared. It was also something that had to be done, because of excessive drug use there was something wrong with the fetus. If it had been born, it would have been deformed, or mentally retarded. I would have given it up for adoption, but nothing was to stain my Grandmother's reputation if she could help it. She didn't think the abortion would, oddly, though it did in the end.
3) I never did want, never will want, and never will need internet pity. I write what I feel like writing and I was feeling in the mood to combat negative memories and feelings, so I wrote this. And I posted it. Why? Well. That was just part of the healing process. I didn't care if anybody at all read it. It just so happens that a lot of folks did.
4) I didn't write this for you. I did not write this for deviant art, I didn't write it for anybody. I wrote it for me.
5) I have paid shrinks. I have done my time on mood altering drugs. I have talked to many 'professionals' about it, and lo and behold, I didn't feel any better. This made me feel better. And so I shared it. Again, not for you. Not for deviant art. For myself.
6) It's not my fault that you had a hard time understanding the context of the story. It's not so very difficult. Not surprisingly, I feel the need to inform you once again that I didn't ask for a daily deviation - nor did I force you to read it.
7) It is my perogative if I do not wish to have people harp on me for how bad I was, how downright Satanic I am, how I need God in my life. I put up with that for long enough, I don't need to constantly have it drilled in to my head. People should have enough decency and brains in their skulls to realize that there are differing opinions. This one, of course, is yours. And you're entitled to it. If you note, please, what I asked for up there wasn't to only leave nice, shiny comments that made me feel Oh, so good. It was to lay the hell off the religious views. To stop shoving Rick Santorum down my God damn throat. To stop telling me that I was going to Hell. I don't need that. Not on this piece, not on ANY piece. Nobody needs that bullshit. It's common courtesy.
You seem like you're a very angry person. Perhaps there is something that you need to write about, to get off your chest.
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Shen-fn-Woo In reply to pullingcandy [2012-04-13 13:27:44 +0000 UTC]
The ability to hide comments is stupid to begin with - you're not responsible for other people's thoughts, and if someone's going to hold you accountable for them anyway, they're both fucked in the head and not worth your time. It's actually better anyway, if their comments remain up, as then others can see the stupid shit that goes on in another's head. All required of you would be to show some restraint and ignore them.
Now to address your points. Do note that I'm a stickler for correcting errors in comprehension (and if not comprehension, then to simply clear things up), and my responses will not necessarily be an attempt to further my earlier points. Call it nitpicking if you will.
1.) I didn't state that you are responsible for the DD. I had come into this before with someone else and was enlightened to the fact that the author's themselves aren't responsible for that. BUT, I was introduced to your work here THROUGH DD so I must at least state that.
2.) Okay, bad circumstances, family issues, and substance abuse. Information is key. Now I must make a confession here - for whatever odd reason, I read the first statement as being 13 years ago rather than "I was 13". Being that the way I responded was from a hypothetical standpoint (which means I somewhat saved my own ass), I can find no better punishment for myself than to let you know that - I absolutely hate being the source of misinformation myself.
3.) "And I posted it. Why? Well. That was just part of the healing process. I didn't care if anybody at all read it. It just so happens that a lot of folks did." I can build a statue in a very public place to make myself feel better and do it just for me, but if I acted as if the fact that there were a lot of people wasn't my motivation for putting it there, I'd be lying to myself. Regardless of whether people was involved, I wanted to expose people to my grief. There's no mistaking that.
4.) You may not have wrote it for anyone but yourself, but it ending up on Deviant Art says "I want people involved in this".
5.) Well let's start off with this one thing - stop lying. You wanted people to witness this, and that's one of the things that made you feel better. For everything else, see 3 and 4. I'm not out to stop you from having a pity party (don't get me wrong, I never once stated that I did), I'm simply exercising my right to say that I don't appreciate the share of grief.
6.) Regardless of all other matters, it's public. You don't have to force me to read any more than I'm forced to look at a car accident on the road. I don't have to be forced.... It's there.... within range.... and I wanted to share my opinion.
7.) Let me TELL you something. Yout made this public, therefore you wanted people to see. People have these things called opinions on what they're exposed to, willingly or not. You deserve to hear them. Not just because something you did was bad, but because you're the one that let this all out, so it's not necessarily my "opinion" you should take this, it's only FAIR. I'm pretty sure a murderer, rapist, theif, etc who has more than made up for their "sins" monetarily, morally, or through a hellish amount of self torture STILL takes shit from people. It's called learning to live with your mistakes, and learning to live with people, ESPECIALLY if you want to expose them to the content of yours. I'm well aware that the things I brought up are of varying degrees of wrong, but in this hypothetical statement, they all have one thing in common, regret and exposure to people who continuously push the issue.
Now for something you may enjoy reading somewhat...
I'm Christian, and I'm PRO abortion. Don't get me wrong. I'm not pro choice, or whatever bullshit the media came up with to empower otherwise normal fuckwads being pressured by other people to live with a burden for their night of pleasure. I simply think it's an option, a really good one, and not there for people to simply abuse the freedom of, like words such as "Pro Choice" would entail. Again, I'm Christian, and unlike many other dumbasses (notice I didn't put religious before that, because not all religious people are as stupid as the lot and generalizations would suggest) in my religion, I live and acknowledge reality. The reality that there's 6 billion + people in this world and we don't really need any more. The reality that we already have problems with the current generation, so why have that generation have another generation that they can't even take proper care of? The reality that babies aren't always a fuckin unmistaken blessing, and can grow up to intentionally cause more problems than there were before - Hitler was once a baby, guess his parents are proud they didn't abort him, huh? I'm aware of a technicallity in logic that pretty much states that no one has the right to bring another person into this world. That and the mechanics of "pleasure thyself = pregancy" doesn't add up. All this means I did away with the parts of my religion that didn't make sense, while still not allowing the removal to shake my faith. It shouldn't have affected yours either, but you let it - I'm assuming your athiest now, as usually the people who can't deal with religion become it - Just like you're letting people bother you into actions like hiding comments, and disuading others from making certain types of statements when all you really need do is ignore them or take it. Stop running away - as in attempting to remove the negative.
And lastly, heh, people always tell me I'm angry over the internet. I'm actually very cool headed. When I do get very pissed off I go to a nice little corner away from everyone else and rage in it for a nice long time before getting tired and going to sleep. My "anger" in messages gets turned off the moment the statement(s) end, and I don't hold (serious) grudges against anyone that hasn't "done" anything to me.
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pullingcandy In reply to Shen-fn-Woo [2012-04-13 13:50:51 +0000 UTC]
I don't hide comments. People don't chase me away, run me around, or force me to retaliate in any way other than a mature adult. At least, I would hope I do that. I don't take bait and run with it, screaming, "LOL U R MAD? R U MAD? U MAD CUZ I RITE DIS" like so many do. I don't find a sentence and nitpick, I don't want to cause drama or pretend I am better than anyone else. I don't want to sound smarter, etc.
I did remove negative things from my life. Regardless on your stance of posting on the internet, before this, my writings weren't really read by a lot of people. I didn't know this would come in to focus on the front page. To me, I was musing. And I felt better about it by doing so. But that is neither here, nor there. I'm not athiest. I can deal with religion. My kids go to Catholic schools, I live three blocks from a church, etc, etc, add more religious stuff here - I just don't practice. I don't have, or want to make, time to do so. But I certainly can handle religion. That's an awfully bold assumption to make about somebody you don't know, that they gave it up because it became too tough.
We will never see eye to eye on wanting to see the commentary that other people post. I don't want to see it. Not that I shouldn't see it, or haven't seen it, or am protecting somebody from it - I just don't feel it belongs in my personal bubble. This is a personal want. Want, not need. Nothing I can say will stop people from saying things - ever. Take you, for example. You said exactly what you wanted, when you wanted, and you weren't even met with what you expected. I won't block or ban you, I won't hide your comments, and I will continue to have a discussion with you until there is nothing left to discuss. Because that is what this is. A discussion.
All of your points are valid ones. You've made them clearly for the most part, and it's easy enough to see your side.
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Shen-fn-Woo In reply to pullingcandy [2012-04-13 15:10:30 +0000 UTC]
When I stated that you hide comments, I was pointing to one hidden comment I ran across looking for the last page here, and the fact that you said you would hide a comment if it was racist or ridiculous. I also don't have the same stance as on the common conception of maturity - there's no such thing. Until someone can provide me with one, absolute, across the board definition that everyone can adhere to, being an adult is just an age thing. How you act is how you act, and to me, when serious, there's only practical, non practical, bad mistakes and good choices.
Well okay, I was wrong about the atheist part. With me, as a safety measure, it's normally "guilty until proven innocent". Yeah, that makes me a complete cynic, as in my experience, the worst is usually the most likely. One, I've met too many people who were once Catholics and decided "omg, religion is bad, people suck so God doesn't exist" and two, I've met too many atheists who are downright nasty towards religion, and the common cause? Religion inconvenienced them. There's also Deviant Art itself, filled with users who can dish it but not take it, and are normally intollerable little shits. "Praise me praise me, but if you dislike something I do for any reason, I block you lolololol" So yeah, I got the shit stick in life too.
So lastly, you were able to acknowledge what I was saying, and that's the most I really ask for. Whether you adhere isn't my concern, I can't force you, so eh. Most of my complaints here were uncommitted hypothetical statements, and because I assumed wrong, they are rendered, for the most part, invalid. With the inclusion of the other information, I can withdraw my earlier statement about not wanting to hear your story - was defending my stance under the impression it was majorly your fault.
Also worth mentioning, to show that this wasn't just something aimed at you, my statements on people taking any kind of opinion on their works is universal. If you look at my page and see my groups you'll notice a group labeled Deny This, and the disclaimer there explains my stance on why I find it crucial to artists that they learn to take any and all opinions stated on their works.
Regardless of whatever I said earlier, sorry to hear that all happening to you at an early age like that. God bless.
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pullingcandy In reply to Shen-fn-Woo [2012-04-13 18:12:33 +0000 UTC]
I had to go back and see what was hidden. What I hid wasn't concequential to the story - it was somebody who was incredibly angry and decided to handle their emotions negatively about something unrelated - he was incredibly negative, derogatory and downright disgusting. I asked them to respectfully either take it to notes or comment on the story involved; of course that did not happen. So I ended the discussion, seeing as it wasn't helping either of us.
I have nothing against opinions and hopefully I accepted and handled yours, and everybody elses, as well as I possibly could without causing any undo anger or stress. I don't mind 'taking it' and I don't mind having discussions that are civilized and comprehensive about anything, and I can admit I am wrong. Sometimes, what I say comes across just about as right as a tree being shoved up a dogs arse, but I honestly have no problem with anything that has been said. Not so far, not back then, not ever.
When posting a piece like this, of course you're going to get a response like yours. I am actually quite glad that it came from somebody who can give it back, and who can argue and discuss their points as well as the rebuttal with some dignity. If you have the guts and time to make the comment, it's imperative that you have both of those things to respond back, if you feel the need.
I also understand that you weren't so much aiming your comment at me, persay. It's just fine. You said what you wanted. You said what you felt you needed to say. And that's all anybody can ask for - a time and place to speak their mind.
Life can be as cut and dry as you say it is to you. To others, they may react and respond differently, and I suppose that doesn't make them wrong. Or you wrong. I wish everything was easily black and white like that.
AS for the religion - I find it unfair and unjustified for people to have discussions based on their belief if they can't accept and understand somebody elses. Being an athiest doesn't make that person a judge of Christians. Being a Christian doesn't make them an expert on the sinning of a Catholic. Being a Catholic doesn't make them the master of all things Agnostic, and as such, the one to tell the Agnostic how to live their life and what they've done wrong. Religion is a touchy, tricky subject and it's better off being talked about with armed guards. It leads to fighting, even in-fighting. It's too bad, really, that that happens, because it is such an interesting thing to consider and converse about.
All in all - please don't be sorry. God bless.
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Toxic-Plasma666 In reply to ??? [2012-04-13 04:19:17 +0000 UTC]
I agree. She merely did this for attention and smyptahy, she should of put a warning on it, it shouldn't of gotten a DD and most of all it is rather a eyesore. Frankly she should of put before the story what it was about so that the rest of us didn't get brought down by her.
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pullingcandy In reply to Toxic-Plasma666 [2012-04-13 04:56:59 +0000 UTC]
Nobody at /all/ told you to read this piece.
I was not doing it for sympathy, I am not a pathetic, simpering low life that needs to come on the internet and have people coddle me. I wrote it because it was cathartic, and I didn't ask for a daily deviation. And I didn't ask for you to read it.
This, I do ask you to read: FAQ #873: What do I do when I disapprove of a Daily Deviation feature?
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Toxic-Plasma666 In reply to pullingcandy [2012-04-13 04:59:14 +0000 UTC]
I'm sorry, I just like to read stuff that is short. I'm sorry you find me a jerk or whatever when I kindly ask for something to be bold or caps so others don't have to go though what I did.
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pullingcandy In reply to Toxic-Plasma666 [2012-04-13 05:05:04 +0000 UTC]
I don't find you a jerk. I just do not think it is worth fighting over.
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Toxic-Plasma666 In reply to pullingcandy [2012-04-13 05:09:47 +0000 UTC]
I know. That's why the comment nicely asking you if you could got some many rude comments I don't understand. I wasn't making you only asking if you could.
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higurashirika In reply to ??? [2012-04-13 04:11:44 +0000 UTC]
Not to offend either you or the author of this piece, but I think you are kind of missing the point. I don't see any plea for sympathy in this work. The author's purpose appears to be simply to share an experience, so that others may reflect on the emotions involved in such a situation, see them from a different viewpoint than their own, and perhaps even apply some new knowledge gained from the experience of another person to their own lives. To get to the point, please stop judging the artist for her work, there are plenty of works elsewhere that actually do display the flaws that you have mentioned.
On a more positive note, the story was very well written, and it conveyed the emotions of the experience very well.
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Shen-fn-Woo In reply to higurashirika [2012-04-13 13:31:26 +0000 UTC]
Well if that's the purpose then that's all fine and dandy, but the problem is opinions can still arise and because it was shared, people SHOULD have the right to say what they want even if it's horrible bad. That's all I'm saying.
Besides that, I only really had two complaints, one being that it didn't seem clear enough, and the other one we already discussed.
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pullingcandy In reply to higurashirika [2012-04-13 05:01:49 +0000 UTC]
I am not offended. =]
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Toxic-Plasma666 In reply to higurashirika [2012-04-13 04:20:31 +0000 UTC]
SHE COULD OF PUT A DAMN WARNING THOUGH! If she was going to do something like this she could of at least freakin said what it was about or at least that it was sad so she didn't have to bring the rest of us down with her. Also, if you ask me she should of never said anything about the babies gender.
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Exillior In reply to Toxic-Plasma666 [2012-04-13 20:10:09 +0000 UTC]
I'm not sure I understand your point. You mean, people should put a warning before sharing a story that isn't happy? Like, "WARNING! MY STORY IS NOT HAPPY. PLEASE DON'T PROCEED ANY FURTHER IF YOU ONLY WANT TO SEE PRETTY THINGS"?
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Toxic-Plasma666 In reply to Exillior [2012-04-13 20:11:57 +0000 UTC]
*sigh* You know? I'm about fuckin done explain this to everyone. This is over, done, taken care of. So why can't you just leave me alone? If it gets a DD or front page it would be NICE if they could put SOMETHING on it to say that chances are it will make you depressed and sad if you easily effected by stuff like this.
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Exillior In reply to Toxic-Plasma666 [2012-04-13 20:16:30 +0000 UTC]
So in essence, you do believe that every deviation you see should either be happy, or come with a warning? Sweet child, life doesn't work this way. Grow up from this experience and move on.
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Toxic-Plasma666 In reply to Exillior [2012-04-13 20:19:46 +0000 UTC]
I never fuckin said that, I just said ones that become POPULAR so I know before I read them and you are more of a fuckin child then I am since you can't read my other comments to hear when I explain shit.
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Exillior In reply to Toxic-Plasma666 [2012-04-13 20:25:30 +0000 UTC]
Popularity isn't a choice.
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ObsidianXRogue In reply to ??? [2012-04-13 04:07:02 +0000 UTC]
I honestly don't see this as a cry for attention or a Sob story as you put it.
I'm not going to give you hell over this because you are entitled to an opinion and whatever else you have thrown into the mix.
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Shen-fn-Woo In reply to ObsidianXRogue [2012-04-13 13:32:22 +0000 UTC]
Well it might not be a sob story per se, the act of sharing it online felt that way at first.
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Toxic-Plasma666 In reply to ObsidianXRogue [2012-04-13 04:21:04 +0000 UTC]
SHE COULD OF PUT A DAMN WARNING THOUGH! If she was going to do something like this she could of at least freakin said what it was about or at least that it was sad so she didn't have to bring the rest of us down with her. Also, if you ask me she should of never said anything about the babies gender.
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WitchVine In reply to Toxic-Plasma666 [2012-04-13 04:36:25 +0000 UTC]
"How To Say Goodbye" < Did that somehow come across like it was going to be not sad? I guess it should have read, "How To Say Goodbye (This is sad btw)". lol
And then "Dear Unborn Child, Whom I Let Go" right in the thumbnail. Did that somehow suggest it was not about abortion? Were you compelled by an unknown force to read the whole thing after that? But I guess it should have been, "Dear Unborn Child, Whom I Let Go (Just in case no one understood this, this piece is about abortion)". lol
"she should of never said anything about the babies gender"
Wow. Telling people what they shouldn't write in their own personal stories that actually happened to them? That's something special right there. lol
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Toxic-Plasma666 In reply to WitchVine [2012-04-13 04:40:36 +0000 UTC]
How about you just leave me alone? I thought this was like saying goodbye to a FRIEND. I misread that line, she should of bolded it or put it big or as the title. That's all I kindly asked her. Fackin idiot. I don't get why you keep fuckin coming after me cause I smiply, kindly asked her for a NOTICEABLE warning. Also unborn child could mean many things other then abortion the child could of died from something else.
I'm not telling her what to write, I'm just saying I wouldn't of even KINDLY asked for a better warning.
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pullingcandy In reply to Toxic-Plasma666 [2012-04-13 04:57:29 +0000 UTC]
Please stop posting on this deviation. Let it go.
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Toxic-Plasma666 In reply to pullingcandy [2012-04-13 04:59:35 +0000 UTC]
fine, how about you tell them to leave me alone then? As long as they keep attacking me I will fight back.
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pullingcandy In reply to Toxic-Plasma666 [2012-04-13 05:05:18 +0000 UTC]
I can't stop people from reacting; only you can stop yourself from doing it.
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Toxic-Plasma666 In reply to pullingcandy [2012-04-13 05:09:15 +0000 UTC]
I blocked them so meh whatever I guess.
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WitchVine In reply to Toxic-Plasma666 [2012-04-13 04:46:53 +0000 UTC]
lol I "keep...coming after [you]" after one reply to one post you made? You trollin'?
"Dear Unborn Child" as the very first line of text visible in the thumbnail + "I thought this was like saying goodbye to a FRIEND" = lol You must be trollin'.
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WitchVine In reply to WitchVine [2012-04-13 05:35:07 +0000 UTC]
Aww, the poor dear blocked mean old me. That's okay, I'll post what I was going to say:
Two people are lots? lol Oh, and you addressed me, by the way. You want an obvious title and subtitle to be MORE OBVIOUS!!! But you expect me to know whether "keep fuckin coming after me" means just me or more than one person? lol
"I SIMPLY WISH SHE WOULD MAKE IT MORE NOTICEABLE"
You're right: "DEAR UNBORN CHILD, WHOM I LET GO!!!1!!11!!!ONE!!!!!1!!!ELEVENTY!!!" would have been so much better. lol
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Toxic-Plasma666 In reply to WitchVine [2012-04-13 04:50:18 +0000 UTC]
No, not you lots of people like you attacked me for simply asking for a more noticeable one.
FOR THE LAST MOTHER FUCKIN TIME I MISREAD THAT GOD DAMN LINE! I SIMPLY WISH SHE WOULD MAKE IT MORE NOTICEABLE AND I'M NOT TROLLING.
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ObsidianXRogue In reply to Toxic-Plasma666 [2012-04-13 04:32:16 +0000 UTC]
The first line is pretty flat out defining in my opinion.
"Dear Unborn Child, Whom I Let Go"
That should be enough of a warning.
She didn't post for sympathy (I've skimmed other comments made) and if you disagree with the DD note $Moonbeam13 ,but honestly I don't see this losing DD status due to personal taste.
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Toxic-Plasma666 In reply to ObsidianXRogue [2012-04-13 04:33:15 +0000 UTC]
IT'S NOT A GOOD WARNING. Has she bolded the goddamn thing I might of not misread it pluse she shouldn't of put the babies damn gender.
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ObsidianXRogue In reply to Toxic-Plasma666 [2012-04-13 04:36:20 +0000 UTC]
I don't see why you are so hung up on this.
This is her experience and her story and she has every right to add whatever detail she wishes, including gender.
Details are one of the requirements for good literature.
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Toxic-Plasma666 In reply to ObsidianXRogue [2012-04-13 04:42:58 +0000 UTC]
it upsets me cause SOMEHOW it got a DD and there isn't a good enough warning and frankly things like this effect me quite a bit, even more if you give the baby a gender or a name or both. If she had just given a better warning or no gender I either wouldn't of read it or just let it be.
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ObsidianXRogue In reply to Toxic-Plasma666 [2012-04-13 04:53:44 +0000 UTC]
"it upsets me cause SOMEHOW it got a DD"
She did not create this to upset people. There are warnings everywhere you just have to pay attention. Whether or not this deserves a DD is purely based on opinion, but if you can't find something positive about this simply leave.
In my opinion you are looking for someone to argue with. You've repeatedly replied to people's comments in some negative way and pushed your opinions and hang ups on them.
You are not getting one from me.
Have a good day.
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Toxic-Plasma666 In reply to ObsidianXRogue [2012-04-13 04:56:34 +0000 UTC]
That's one reason it upsets me a little but it is not the main way. I am sorry but I will defend myself esspitaly against that lighting person which came after me when I simply, kindly asked for a bolded/caps more noticeable warning at the beging. I am not looking to fight, I simply gave my options to some people especially those that attacked that guy for what he thought. They are the ones that wished to fight and they reply in negative ways as well so it isn't all me good day to you to.
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Kylar-ban-Durzo In reply to ??? [2012-04-13 03:41:31 +0000 UTC]
I pretty much agree with you. I don't feel the need to elaborate, as you summed up quite nicely how I feel about this deviation.
Kudos to you. This post does NOT deserve a block, but rather, a friggin' medal.
Thank you.
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pullingcandy In reply to Kylar-ban-Durzo [2012-04-13 05:00:51 +0000 UTC]
I am sorry you feel that way. Nobody threatened you, on pain of death, to read this piece. The comment will not be blocked, by the way. It doesn't deserve a medal. This is the internet and it's a useless, egotistical and almost nonsensical rant - but it won't be blocked.
Again, so sorry I have hit a nerve with you.
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Kylar-ban-Durzo In reply to pullingcandy [2012-04-14 03:31:24 +0000 UTC]
I'm having a hard time figuring out how you you had no say in the matter. Unless I'm mistaken, It is your life and your child and YOU decide whether to 'abort' your baby or not. No one else can decide that but you.
It IS your body and no one can tell you what to do with it. (But that cuts both ways, because the baby is a separate body and not in your rights to kill).
Not trying to turn this into a pro-life rant, but I'm just not seeing how this was forced on you. And because of that, I'm having a hard time sympathizing.
Elaborate and my feelings may change. But for now, I stand my ground.
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pullingcandy In reply to Kylar-ban-Durzo [2012-04-14 03:57:54 +0000 UTC]
Oh. Well. Of course the sentiment that I didn't ask for, or want strangers sympathy won't apply here, because your mind seems fairly made up, though that's the truth. I didn't expect this to make it in to the daily deviations, I merely wrote it for myself. But I'll try to clear some things up for you, though they've been outlined in other comments and replies - including the one you replied with your comment to.
Let me see...
1) I was 13 and homeless - my family and I don't get along, though that has changed as we have all matured together. My mother had me very young and blamed me for a lot of the bad things in her life, and when I left home and became addicted to drugs, it was...how do you say...'No big deal' to her, so the cycle continued, and spiraled out of control.
2) At 13, and 2 months, I found out I was pregnant. I tried to cover it up. Eventually because I was sick, spotting, still doing drugs and drinking even though I, at least somewhere in the back of my head, knew I shouldn't be, screwed up the fetus badly. I went to my Grandmother, who was the head of our family. She came from a time where this would have been considered a major scandal. In a sense, I suppose it was...though it could have been avoided, had I had my head on straight. She made an executive decision and moved the matter to a head.
3) At 13 I was a legal minor. Once the papers were signed that I was also an addict, the decision was MADE FOR ME. Not just by family, but by Planned Parenthood and a psychologist. I had to undergo extensive therapy to prepare myself for withdrawl, and then again for surgery which my body could hardly handle - seeing as I have a bone disease, this could have been potentially fatal to a somewhat under-developed CHILD.
Those points didn't need to be made in my letter. They are not secrets, at least, not any longer...but they weren't particularly needed in a final goodbye, which I didn't write for anybody but myself, and of course the child whos life was terminated.
You're entitled to your opinions, of course. Which includes not having to sympathize.
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Shen-fn-Woo In reply to pullingcandy [2012-04-13 13:49:23 +0000 UTC]
Yeah, useless and nonsensical. Stating that you should be more clear, and take everything for what you dish out = absolutely nothing of value. Heh.
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pullingcandy In reply to Shen-fn-Woo [2012-04-13 13:52:29 +0000 UTC]
I responded to you already, and I responded again.
I have no problems taking constructive opinions. It was nonsensical at the time - you'd made your own errors and we've covered that in the replies. Keeping in mind this was written before you replied to me, please, might be prudent and make you look a little less like an ass and more like an adult.
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WitchVine In reply to ??? [2012-04-13 03:36:47 +0000 UTC]
Wow. You totally revealed a lot more about your own ego than you did about hers. lol
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Shen-fn-Woo In reply to WitchVine [2012-04-13 03:39:41 +0000 UTC]
Hello white knight number 1. Be sure to get the picture before worrying about the way I think, and we're cool.
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WitchVine In reply to Shen-fn-Woo [2012-04-13 03:44:07 +0000 UTC]
The only one who doesn't seem to get the picture is you (well, one other, too, but even zie didn't seem to have an ego as big as yours). lol
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Shen-fn-Woo In reply to WitchVine [2012-04-13 03:52:17 +0000 UTC]
I'm not worried about her or even my ego. I couldn't care less for either. She put up a deviation, and I'm giving my opinion on it.
I'll tell you this. When I come online crying for sympathy (has never really happened very much if at all), the one damned thing I do is tell everyone everything they need to hear as to make a clear decision as to what to think about my "fucked up" situation. Only enough information, while retaining privacy. That's not much to ask for. At all.
And if I'm not getting something, why don't you tell me, since you're so informed?
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WitchVine In reply to Shen-fn-Woo [2012-04-13 04:28:49 +0000 UTC]
Uh, she was thirteen, got pregnant by a creepy abusive asshole, had an abortion, wonders what it would be like if she hadn't, is now ready to let go, the end. Pretty simple. lol
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Shen-fn-Woo In reply to WitchVine [2012-04-13 14:00:23 +0000 UTC]
"Creepy and abusive asshole" didn't show up at all in deviation.
"Too bad, your decision" to the whole abortion thing, comes into mind, prior to her reply earlier.
You must learn how to deal with hypothetical statements. When they are made, it does NOT mean anything definite like, I don't know, please tell me. "If you know so much and I don't" is saying "tell me what you think I'm missing", and though you did answer, you fail to see where the stuff I said prior to your response still applies. The fact that I misread about her being 13 answers a few questions but also raises more, and the fact that I was making hypothetical statements means she can safely ignore certain details and I still get to save face because I didn't fully commit to any of my replies by making them definite.
So you can wipe off the grin now, you didn't really get anywhere but to the point where you're JUST getting to understand my original statements.
Ummm....
lol
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WitchVine In reply to Shen-fn-Woo [2012-04-13 16:09:23 +0000 UTC]
LMFAO! I haven't read anything that idiotic in a long time. You made my day!
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