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April pressed her face up against the bakery’s window, gazing longingly at the temptations within. Her willpower wavered, but all it took to steel her resolve was reaching down and grabbing a handful of the pudgy midriff pressing against her shirt.

“I hate this stupid college weight. I miss eating whatever I want,” she complained to herself. Just then, she saw a man who passed her on the street drop his wallet and keep walking, oblivious to his loss. Picking it up, she ran after him. “Sir, you dropped your wallet!”

The man turned around as he patted the pocket where it had just been, confirming its absence. “Well thank you very much April,” he said, accepting it as she offered it to him, “I’d have been very sorry to have lost this.”

“You’re welcome,” she responded, before realizing what he’d said. “I’m sorry, but have we met? You know my name, but I can’t recall yours.”

“No we’ve never met. I know your name because I’m a genie!” To prove his point, he transformed into a cat, then a dog, then back into a man. “And to thank you, I’m granting you one wish!”

For a second, all April could do was gape in amazement while she gathered her wits. “Wow, a wish? I gotta go for world peace, I guess.”

“OK, noble, but let’s rein it in a bit, all you did was return my wallet, it’s not gonna be that kind of wish. Think smaller. Also, no killing, no true love, no resurrection, and before you wish for wealth, remember that I won’t do anything to stop the IRS asking where it came from.”

April thought over her options for a bit. Without being too grand, what did she want? And then it hit her, she wanted to be thin. “I wish I could eat as much as I want without gaining weight all day.”

“Alright, granted,” he said, disappearing in a puff of smoke.

Eager to try out her new ability, she turned into the bakery and bought a dozen donuts and a cake that she brought back to her apartment. Checking her current weight, she stepped on the scale. 163 pounds, definitely chubby for her height. Satisfied that her starting point was established, she went into the kitchen and opened the donut box.

Only a handful of bites later and the first one was gone, quickly followed by a second, third, and fourth. At that point, April realised that she wasn’t just not full, she wasn’t any less hungry at all. Her wish was working! Excitedly, she tore through the remaining eight without noticing anything. She then moved on to the cake, shoveling handful after handful into her mouth.

After finishing, she ran to the bathroom and jumped on the scale. Still 163 pounds.

“I guess I don’t need this anymore,” she said, taking the scale out to the dumpster. Eager to resume eating, she went back inside and emptied the cupboards of anything with grease or sugar. Tens of thousands of calories poured into her bottomless stomach, each one having no effect on her figure.

And so began a daily routine of unparalleled gluttony. After a few days, April noticed her pants were a bit snug when she woke up one morning. Brushing it aside as if it were nothing, she bought a size up and continued her gorging. This continued every week or so, until a few months later when she could no longer ignore the fact that she was regularly outgrowing her clothes, and borrowed a scale from a friend.

“208 pounds!” She screamed. “That genie’s a fucking liar!”

“No I’m not,” came the unexpected reply from behind her. “You just weren’t very careful with what you wished for. You said, and I quote, ‘I wish I could eat as much as I want without gaining weight all day.’ And you can. You don’t gain weight during the day. At night is a different story.” And just as suddenly as he’d appeared, the genie vanished again.

“Stupid loopholes,” April fumed. “I guess I’ve got to be careful not to eat at night.”

And for the most part she held true to this. During the day she ate as much as ever, but as soon as the sun went down she cut herself off. However, after a few more months, and several more outgrown clothes, she once again weighed herself, this time at 241.

“What the hell! There’s no way I’ve eaten that much just at night!” She screamed.

“Darling, you need to be more careful about the fine print,” the genie warned, having appeared once again. “All that weight you would have gained during the day doesn’t just disappear. It just gets deferred until later, at which time it slowly comes back.”

April turned white, realising just how much she’d been eating. “So you’re saying that I’ve gained all the weight I would have anyways? That’s terrible!”

The genie chuckled. “Not quite. The human body can’t handle as much weight as you would have gained in one day, so it just adds on what it can handle. Judging by my estimates, your gain hasn’t caught up with even a month of eating.”

What little color was left in April’s face quickly left. Realizing just how big of a hole she’d dug for herself, she began to panic, and search for the one thing that brought her comfort: more food.