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RoboGoGoRobo — The Arrival dot text file
Published: 2003-09-03 00:04:49 +0000 UTC; Views: 2383; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 73
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The ArrivalOnce upon a time in a town needless to name, there was a man that called himself
“Tom the Conqueror of Worlds." He was only slightly psycho, and most of the townspeople
tried to avoid him since he would only talk about that one time that the aliens took him
aboard their spaceship and gave him an enema. It’s not that Tom the Conqueror of Worlds
was a bad or completely insane fellow that caused people to be propelled in the opposite
direction of his vicinity, rather it was his forcing of forty-five minutes worth of whiney
preaching lecture onto people and his apparent inability to shower regularly that did the
trick. Thankfully for the townspeople, they were armed with the knowledge of what Tom
the Conqueror of Worlds looked like due to his multiple talk-show appearances and his local
broadcast on the on the ever-popular public-access channel with which he spreads his
message of gloom, doom, and the cleansing of all mankind by decree of the enema aliens to
all those that listen.
One day, two girls who shall be dubbed as Becky Luanne DeLa Belhokajiva III and
Mary Smith were walking home from another super-happy day of school when they noticed a
rather sizable anomaly within one of the trees. It was a large, poorly crafted disk-like
object that appeared to be constructed using lots of tinfoil and rolls of duct-tape.
“Beware,” said a familiar voice from within the miles of adhesive, “for the cleansing of all
mankind is at hand!” A notably ultra-tanned potbelly emerged from a door attached in a not-
really sort of fashion on the side of the tinfoil eyesore, and its owner stepped out onto a
somewhat meager branch. “Oh, no,” muttered Becky Luanne DeLa Belhokajiva III, “it’s that
Naked Dude!”
Of course, she is referring to none other than Tom the Conqueror of Wolds as many
people call him different things such as “That Naked Dude,” or “The Alien Man,” or even
“The Public Access Monger.” Becky Luanne looked at Mary, and in a silent unison they decided
that it would be best to start moving in a direction opposite of Tom the Conqueror’s current
location. “Wait!” he pleaded,” I can save you! I have a spaceship of my own, and we can fly
away to a safe place!” Suddenly, the branch that once supported the robust mass of Tom
the Conqueror decided to give up, and so he came a tumblin’ down along with literally tens of
pounds of tinfoil and moisture-resistant tape.
Tom awoke to surging pain coursing throughout his body. He opened his eyes to find
that his vision was blurred and that he was lying on a table within a tiny room filled with
piercingly bright light and strange, clamoring and obnoxious sounds. A silhouette appeared
swiftly in front of him, blocking out much of the light. It was the aliens! Tom shrieked with
immense disapproval as he tried to squirm free, but alas, the pain was too great. “Hey, man,
calm down,” said the shadow, “you’re in an ambulance; a couple of girls called you in and
stayed with you until we got there.”
Tom breathed a sigh of relief. “You’re a very lucky man to be alive,” the paramedic
continued, “seems all that tinfoil broke your fall. You made it out with a concussion and a
broken arm.”
“Oh, good,” said Tom,” at least I won’t be getting an enema.”
An impish smile twisted the paramedic’s face,” I wouldn’t be too sure about that...
Bwa haha!!!”
El the endo
