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rosesburnA Lesson On Brick Care
Published: 2006-02-24 11:12:51 +0000 UTC; Views: 11885; Favourites: 284; Downloads: 3541
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Description Bricks are excellent pets. As well as being cheap, clean and easy to care for, they are extremely long-lived. They are extraordinarily loyal and have few requirements for housing and feed. They are very hardy, do not trigger allergies and extremely easy to tame. They rarely scratch, but can be a nuisance if left underfoot. However, with proper treatment, you and your brick should have a long and loving relationship. The most common brick is the Common House Brick (brickus brickus), which is normally a red colour. They also appear as other colours, ranging from a creamy-white, to black. Brown is another popular colouration, as there are many shades of brown bricks. The more unusual a brick is in colour, the more expensive.

Bricks have been associated with humans for many years, but are most often used as working bricks. They have only recently been adapted as pets. Closely related to the brick is the rock (rockus granus), which has become quite popular as a pet in recent decades. Hopefully, the brick shall follow its course.

The ancient brick has developed into the brick we know today. Today, breeders aim for hardiness and longevity, as well as resistence to water.

In the following simple guide, I, Bob, Leader of the International Brick Rescue, will teach you how to care for your brick.


Step 1: Choosing Your Brick
Firstly, we strongly encourage adopting abandoned or mistreated bricks. If not, take a walk around your local neighbourhood to see if you can find a feral brick. Just be sure that it is actually abandoned and does not belong to someone. Feral bricks are often timid, hiding amongst plant life, but with a bit of tender loving care, they can be tamed into wonderful pets. Alternatively, if you're looking for fancier bricks, the local brick-store is a good place to start. When choosing a brick, look for one that is free from any chips or cracks and has a nice, even colour. Also look out for lichen and other blemishes which are very unattractive in bricks. The brick should allow you to pet it, and be friendly. Once you have picked your new brick (or rescued an abandoned brick), find it a name and head on home.

Step 2: Bringing Home Your New Brick
When you first bring home a brick, there is no need to quarantine it as with other animals, as bricks rarely carry disease. As long as your brick appears healthy, it is safe to put with other animals/bricks. If in doubt, keep the brick seperate for a few days and monitor it closely.

Step 3: Bricks And Other Pets
Remember, bricks are very social. When left alone, bricks get very miserable and may have health problems. If you did not adopt two or more bricks, another animal makes a very good companion. Rodents such as rats and mice particularly seem to get along with bricks. When introducing bricks to one another, or other pets, make sure they are introduced in neutral territory. Monitor them in case a fight starts. If this occurs, firmly seperate the brick from the other animal/brick. It is normal for the brick and other animal/brick to investigate each other, and this may include climbing on one another, touching and sniffing. Bricks may be intimidated by larger animals, but they are normally very good at handling confrontations. If the introductions go well, your new brick and the other brick/animal can be kept together in the same enclosure/cage. It is not wise to introduce male and female bricks, as mating may occur.

Step 4: Housing Your Brick
Bricks are very adaptable. They do not require much in the way of housing; a simple clean and dry environment is enough. They like to have a little bit of space to move around and play. They can even be left to roam free in your house, like a dog, as they cause very little trouble when properly trained. Most bricks are not very fond of water or other liquids; they absorb all liquid they need through regular bathing. Keep them in a nice dry place. They are not bothered by temperature, and easily adapt to hot and cold weather.

Step 5: The Brick Diet
Bricks do not require much in the way of food. In fact, they absorb all nutrients they need from air and water, as plants do. A once-a-week bath will ensure the health of your brick.

Step 6: Bathing Your Brick
Bricks need to be bathed once a fortnight, or weekly. Holding your brick firmly, spray it with water. Then you can easily scrub it if it's very dirty, or wipe it with an old flannel if it's cleaner. Then allow your brick to sunbathe outside to dry off.

Step 7: Training And Handling
Be careful when handling your brick. You should never pick your brick up by the corner, as it's an unreliable hold and dropping your brick could result in fatal injury. Hold the brick firmly, with both hands if possible, around the belly. Bricks are quite heavy, and could injure you, too, if dropped. If your brick is behaving in an unresponsive way, use the forced socialization method. To do this, hold your brick for a minimum of 20 minutes a day. Talk to it, pet it, show it you love it. Bricks are very easy to train. With a little love and affection, the brick will willingly do whatever you ask of it.


So there you have it. Go out and save some bricks.
Sincerely,
Bob
IBR Leader
Related content
Comments: 244

suboptimal In reply to ??? [2006-03-07 18:37:43 +0000 UTC]

This is the funniest thing I've read in a very very long time. You made my day *ambles away to get some bricks*

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Firretayl [2006-03-07 18:08:53 +0000 UTC]

This cracks me (brick) up!

Very funny. Nice change from the usual (DDs)

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carolin54323 In reply to ??? [2006-03-07 17:48:37 +0000 UTC]

Brick FAQ: My pet brick is being unsociable and has taken to lurking in dark corners. Do you think this might be caused by a disagreement with my pet breeze-block?

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rosesburn In reply to carolin54323 [2006-03-08 07:31:19 +0000 UTC]

That's entirely possible. Try to reintroduce them, and make sure they're getting equal attention. Hopefully they can get along.

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carolin54323 In reply to rosesburn [2006-03-08 12:24:11 +0000 UTC]

Thank you for the advice. It worked, and both my brick and my breeze-block seem much happier and more sociable.

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rosesburn In reply to carolin54323 [2006-03-08 21:28:35 +0000 UTC]

Glad to be of assistance.

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carolin54323 In reply to rosesburn [2006-03-08 23:24:15 +0000 UTC]

You're welcome. *Sits chatting to her brick*

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Villes-Syre In reply to ??? [2006-03-07 17:46:00 +0000 UTC]

That's brilliant, funniest thing i've read in ages!

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levisrictusias In reply to ??? [2006-03-07 16:42:05 +0000 UTC]

That was possibly the most amazing thing I've read all day. You're fantastic. This is absolutely fabulous.

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projectvxn In reply to ??? [2006-03-07 16:40:38 +0000 UTC]

This is fucking priceless

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DarthTella In reply to ??? [2006-03-07 16:36:17 +0000 UTC]

I was giggling while I read this! You really made my day with this!

I had several pet bricks at one point! They liked to make an inukchuk (an inuit statue) together! It was really neat!

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Limely [2006-03-07 16:26:57 +0000 UTC]

Oh, Im definatly going to get me a brick. They sound like wonderful pets

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rleland In reply to ??? [2006-03-07 16:14:27 +0000 UTC]

You said you wrote it for a web page, and you couldn't remember the URL, but you probably meant this page:
[link]

Thanks for the funny read

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catluvr2 In reply to rleland [2006-03-07 19:18:13 +0000 UTC]

bricks

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PaintedBow In reply to ??? [2006-03-07 15:29:51 +0000 UTC]

Loved this piece, it reminded me of the year my Mom got a pet rock for Christmas and Dad had it paper-trained within the hour.

On a very serious note, it should be made known that the International Association of Brickinarians (brick vets to the uniformed) have recognized that bricks and fish do not get along. Bricks may harbor bacteria and chemicals in their skin from playing in the lawn and from their very nature that cause ill effect and death in fish. If you love your fish and your bricks, please do not introduce them to one another. The death of the fish causes serious grief issues for the brick that could require intensive counseling.

Lloyd Pharkley
Pres. International Assoc. of Brickinarians

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rosesburn In reply to PaintedBow [2006-03-08 07:37:36 +0000 UTC]

Haha, perhaps your Dad has a talent for training rocks. He could make a career out of it.

And thank you for your valuable information regarding bricks and fish, Mr Pharkley. This was not information we were previously aware of, because the IBR as a group has no particular fondness for fish and as such has not introduced bricks to them. Thanks once again.
Bob.

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Ongaru [2006-03-07 15:26:55 +0000 UTC]

This is feckin' awesome. I had a pet rock as a kid...this just brings back old memories...XD

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StupidNick In reply to ??? [2006-03-07 15:16:30 +0000 UTC]

i'm gonna lay a brick

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Feimi In reply to ??? [2006-03-07 14:52:25 +0000 UTC]

that was hilarious! ^_^

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mashumaro888 In reply to ??? [2006-03-07 14:37:48 +0000 UTC]

My brick is growing a nice new coat of green moss! He is a very happy brick! He doesn't like bugs though, he likes to jump on them!

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RandomK In reply to ??? [2006-03-07 14:37:45 +0000 UTC]

Nice to see some Literature on the DD page

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bookworm12890 In reply to ??? [2006-03-07 14:36:30 +0000 UTC]

XD That's just hilarious... this really deserves a DD!

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Anti-Tahni In reply to ??? [2006-03-07 14:07:12 +0000 UTC]

Brilliant. XD
I actually have a pet brick (shut up. D: ) named Lemy :B Bwahaha

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rosesburn In reply to Anti-Tahni [2006-03-08 07:40:18 +0000 UTC]

I have two... Barry and Luka.

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Onorok In reply to ??? [2006-03-07 14:04:08 +0000 UTC]

Wow, that's five minutes of my life that I won't get back... lol.

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Onorok In reply to Onorok [2006-03-08 16:06:04 +0000 UTC]

hehe, I enjoyed it thoroughly.

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rosesburn In reply to Onorok [2006-03-08 07:40:52 +0000 UTC]

My entire purpose in life is to waste your time.
Pleased to meet you.

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OmegaTwo In reply to ??? [2006-03-07 13:50:02 +0000 UTC]

That's honestly the best thing around since the Zombie Care Association! So faved! XD

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tainted-marrow In reply to OmegaTwo [2006-03-08 04:12:57 +0000 UTC]

there is a zombie care association? can i have the link, my brothers foot keeps falling off. no really, can i have it?

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ChAzZeH In reply to ??? [2006-03-07 13:45:30 +0000 UTC]

lol ok i can comment now i had sum coffee so im more awake. that wants me to hav a pet brick now awesome concept hehe, ima find me a brick tomorrow. i used to bath the bricks in my backyard wen i was little. aaah funny stuff.

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rosesburn In reply to ChAzZeH [2006-03-08 07:47:16 +0000 UTC]

Heh, finally a comment from someone I recognise, lol!
I bathed bricks in my backyard... Last year. I have issues...

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ChAzZeH In reply to rosesburn [2006-03-08 11:37:16 +0000 UTC]

hahaha ^-^ im recognised i feel loved

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rosesburn In reply to ChAzZeH [2006-03-08 11:41:29 +0000 UTC]

You are!

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ChAzZeH In reply to rosesburn [2006-03-08 11:50:20 +0000 UTC]

aw ^-^ thanks i think your special hehe

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freeza-frost In reply to ??? [2006-03-07 13:28:33 +0000 UTC]

haha! funny! i like it!

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lindindin In reply to ??? [2006-03-07 11:41:09 +0000 UTC]

this is exactly my kind of humor.. i am dying.. *hahhaha* actually, i thinkg i might pet the wall now

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WingDiamond In reply to ??? [2006-03-07 11:37:22 +0000 UTC]

It's too bad this girl isn't posting here anymore! She'd have something to say about "Careing for Bricks"!

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smartalecboy In reply to ??? [2006-03-07 11:30:43 +0000 UTC]

HAHAHAHAHA THAT IS AWESOME. MY KIND OF HUMOUR!!!!

FAV

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sylverphantasy In reply to ??? [2006-03-07 11:11:53 +0000 UTC]

This was classic, something I call and INSTAFAVE!!!

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In-Tays-Head In reply to ??? [2006-03-07 10:13:46 +0000 UTC]

I feel so enlightened!

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pixelatedprophet In reply to ??? [2006-03-07 09:56:14 +0000 UTC]

Very classy

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Tsatsayka In reply to ??? [2006-03-07 09:43:44 +0000 UTC]

I used to have several pet bricks living in the backyard, of the common red variety as well as some black ones. But they were stolen Now I'll just have to find some more. And really, you forgot to mention the close relative of the brick, the concrete block.

Great article!

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rosesburn In reply to Tsatsayka [2006-03-07 10:14:32 +0000 UTC]

I'll have to do a second version one day.
The Advanced Guide to Brick Care.
Featuring concrete blocks.

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Tsatsayka In reply to rosesburn [2006-03-07 13:30:01 +0000 UTC]

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NobleDreamhome In reply to ??? [2006-03-07 09:40:00 +0000 UTC]



This is great!

Am now going to have to go and rescue a brick. Or mayhap buy one. I want to get a black one. Is my favorite color in all the world (no am not Goth).

How do bricks feel about being clothed?

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rosesburn In reply to NobleDreamhome [2006-03-07 10:18:12 +0000 UTC]

You know, I don't think they'd mind. Some colours might look just charming.

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Allyekhrah In reply to ??? [2006-03-07 09:30:15 +0000 UTC]

Dude. you have wayyy too much time on your hands. o.o

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rosesburn In reply to Allyekhrah [2006-03-07 10:27:35 +0000 UTC]

Yeah, I know. I have a problem with that. I try to work, but things like this happen.

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EnchantedSpleen In reply to ??? [2006-03-07 09:14:48 +0000 UTC]

I have a feral brick outside... but one thing,

how the heck do bricks mate?!?

👍: 0 ⏩: 2

EnchantedSpleen In reply to EnchantedSpleen [2006-03-07 22:06:37 +0000 UTC]

Only having a play!

Hilariuos!

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