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I had done all I could and said all I could say
To persuade the good townsmen to see it my way,
I had found a great trump card and given it play
And I fervently hoped I would carry the day;
So I wiggled by toes and I took a look down
Into all of the eyes of each dude there in town,
In the blue or the hazel, the grey, black or brown
I beheld nothing there that would cause me to frown;
But the Dean of Decorum had might on his side
In his air of command and his arrogant pride,
And I had to acknowledge he really had tried
When it would have been easy to run off and hide;

Then the Dean of Decorum looked strangely serene
While he cast a cool eye over each man and teen,
As if he could determine which way they would lean
So I watched him and wondered just what it might mean;
Then in whispers and mutters the townsmen conferred
Their big dawgies all twitching at any cross word,
Til at last they agreed the town sage should be heard
Speak the verdict with which one and all had concurred;
"Now the Barefootin Tickler," he said when he spoke
"Seemed at first that he might be a bit of a joke,
But he sturck to the core with the passions he woke
And he quickly became a formidable bloke;

For he made us all barefooters once he'd begun
Tickled all of our barefeet, each one after one,
Then we tickled his tootsies, and when it was done
He'd converted us all to his ticklefoot fun;
But the Dean of Decorum reminded us all
Of the duty we had to propriety's call,
Did we have a true right to be having a ball
Or was foot-tickling setting us up for a fall;
Now we don't think the Dean of Decorum's a prude
Our decision's been made in the loftiest mood,
And I speak for us all, so please don't think me rude
As I say - WE'RE ALL BAREFOOTIN TICKLE FREAKS, DUDE!!!"