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Description
9:59 and I can't remember when the music stopped playing.
must've cried myself to sleep.

8:46 and my heart is beating so fast it feels like there's an earthquake.
9pm too.

6 minutes past ten and I start to cry again.
just can't silence this insanity.
It's been too long…

134 days ago
that's how long it's been since I last cried like this
Sunday, November 1, 2009.
too long without crying.

7:48 and I'm left alone.
told to do nothing reckless.
yeah, right.

8:14 I almost admit
that I'd be cutting if I could get to a blade without passing out.
I can't even get up for tissues.

9:57 I wake up still wearing all my clothes
jeans, belt, shirt, bra.
black smudged beneath my eyes.

10:38 I'm trying to convince myself that everything is ok.
but it doesn't work
'cause I'm still crying.

11:16
I'm alone again
even after all the times I was told I'd always have someone to talk to.
so now I don't know what to believe.

Description
9:59 and I can't remember when the music stopped playing.
must've cried myself to sleep.

8:46 and my heart is beating so fast it feels like there's an earthquake.
9pm too.

6 minutes past ten and I start to cry again.
just can't silence this insanity.
It's been too long…

134 days ago
that's how long it's been since I last cried like this
Sunday, November 1, 2009.
too long without crying.

7:48 and I'm left alone.
told to do nothing reckless.
yeah, right.

8:14 I almost admit
that I'd be cutting if I could get to a blade without passing out.
I can't even get up for tissues.

9:57 I wake up still wearing all my clothes
jeans, belt, shirt, bra.
black smudged beneath my eyes.

10:38 I'm trying to convince myself that everything is ok.
but it doesn't work
'cause I'm still crying.

11:16
I'm alone again
even after all the times I was told I'd always have someone to talk to.
so now I don't know what to believe.