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Description
"She." "Her." "That girl."

These are words I use a lot to describe you, talking to my friends, telling them about how I thought you'd hang on till the world ends. Then you let go, then you grabbed back on, then you didn't.

You see, "She" is you, and our relationship is complicated;
You were my first real childhood sweetheart.
You were my spitting image of beauty at 16.
You were the best friend I ever had who made me come out of my shell in college.
You made me want to fly across the ocean to hold you and know how it feels to be trusted.
You made me wonder what the hell it was I was feeling somewhere in between romance, lust and friendship but I could never find the words.
And I haven't even met you yet.

You see, there's so many things I wanna tell you;
How I look on facebook nearly a decade later, wondering if I could find you and if that email you gave me was right, and if you ever got my message.
How I miss how you used to make me feel like your world, how we were all but lovers, and how I miss how close you used to be to me.
How I don't know if the things I feel for you died in me or are sitting comatose and I keep wanting to send you another message but I'm afraid I'll only make you more uncomfortable than when you left me.
How we reconnected recently and day one you got to admitting I still drive you wild, but it seems like ever since day one you've been distracted or you've just been losing interest, and how I desperately want you to want me cause you're finally making me feel alive again after so long.
How you seem so cold lately, how I wonder how you can throw away the friendship and all the things we've been through together when you're the most sentimental person I've ever met.
How I keep wondering when you're gonna hurry up and come into my life.

And I don't know how to make everything perfect if perfect existed but I wish I could give you the next best thing because you gave me so much;
You gave me a friend nearly every day who sided with me when all the neighbor kids wouldn't and understood me.
You made change how I saw the world, taught me patience and kindness and how to care for someone who needed it badly.
You taught me how to see things through the eyes of someone who saw the world differently, and how to appreciate every little moment without being eager for what comes next.
You showed me what it felt like to be trusted, and made me look and notice my own mistakes even when you didn't see them, realize just because you can't see suffering doesn't mean it isn't there.
You made me feel things I didn't know I could feel, made me learn how to show love to someone who couldn't show it back.
You have so much to give, so many beautiful things about you that I don't even know yet.

And maybe you're listening right now, because "She" is you, and you are the women in my life who have helped define my life, the women I love, who I shed tears for, who inspired a hundred sappy poems and probably a few hundred more. You're every woman who will ever make me feel something this amazing again.

You are complicated. You drive me insane. You make my heart flutter. You hurt me more than anyone ever could. You are my inspiration. You are the strong. You are fragile but you are learning. You're the best friend I ever had. You're a total stranger.

And I wouldn't have you any other way. I just wish I knew a better way to say 'I love you.'

Description
"She." "Her." "That girl."

These are words I use a lot to describe you, talking to my friends, telling them about how I thought you'd hang on till the world ends. Then you let go, then you grabbed back on, then you didn't.

You see, "She" is you, and our relationship is complicated;
You were my first real childhood sweetheart.
You were my spitting image of beauty at 16.
You were the best friend I ever had who made me come out of my shell in college.
You made me want to fly across the ocean to hold you and know how it feels to be trusted.
You made me wonder what the hell it was I was feeling somewhere in between romance, lust and friendship but I could never find the words.
And I haven't even met you yet.

You see, there's so many things I wanna tell you;
How I look on facebook nearly a decade later, wondering if I could find you and if that email you gave me was right, and if you ever got my message.
How I miss how you used to make me feel like your world, how we were all but lovers, and how I miss how close you used to be to me.
How I don't know if the things I feel for you died in me or are sitting comatose and I keep wanting to send you another message but I'm afraid I'll only make you more uncomfortable than when you left me.
How we reconnected recently and day one you got to admitting I still drive you wild, but it seems like ever since day one you've been distracted or you've just been losing interest, and how I desperately want you to want me cause you're finally making me feel alive again after so long.
How you seem so cold lately, how I wonder how you can throw away the friendship and all the things we've been through together when you're the most sentimental person I've ever met.
How I keep wondering when you're gonna hurry up and come into my life.

And I don't know how to make everything perfect if perfect existed but I wish I could give you the next best thing because you gave me so much;
You gave me a friend nearly every day who sided with me when all the neighbor kids wouldn't and understood me.
You made change how I saw the world, taught me patience and kindness and how to care for someone who needed it badly.
You taught me how to see things through the eyes of someone who saw the world differently, and how to appreciate every little moment without being eager for what comes next.
You showed me what it felt like to be trusted, and made me look and notice my own mistakes even when you didn't see them, realize just because you can't see suffering doesn't mean it isn't there.
You made me feel things I didn't know I could feel, made me learn how to show love to someone who couldn't show it back.
You have so much to give, so many beautiful things about you that I don't even know yet.

And maybe you're listening right now, because "She" is you, and you are the women in my life who have helped define my life, the women I love, who I shed tears for, who inspired a hundred sappy poems and probably a few hundred more. You're every woman who will ever make me feel something this amazing again.

You are complicated. You drive me insane. You make my heart flutter. You hurt me more than anyone ever could. You are my inspiration. You are the strong. You are fragile but you are learning. You're the best friend I ever had. You're a total stranger.

And I wouldn't have you any other way. I just wish I knew a better way to say 'I love you.'