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Published: 2014-02-01 16:11:55 +0000 UTC; Views: 59776; Favourites: 622; Downloads: 0
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SnK!Various X Reader~ Pickup linesShoutout to celestialwolf88 who inspired me to make this.
(Warning: May lead to extreme fangirling, and contains mild suggestiveness)
I dragged my way over to the courtyard for my early training session- one of the joys for being in the Survey Corps. As soon as I saw Jean enter my vision, I took the farthest route possible to steer clear of him. I took a small path drifting away from the main sidewalk until I couldn't see him anymore.
I almost smiled. Maybe I can survive the day. I could hide in the dining hall- no even better, the girls restroom. Of all situations I have faced, and I faced a lot as a soldier, this by far was the most horrible. Hence my motivation to stay as far from the horse face as possible.
He's not the only one.
A familiar group stood quite always from me, backs turned, heading towards the training session that is supposed to commence in exactly thirty minutes. Their heads were like a pyramid, with a moderately tall brunette in the middle, then a slightly shorter black-haired girl next to him, and finally the runt of the group next to her.
On any other day, I would run up and greet them, then walk with them to the training courtyard. However, let's just say my...cautiousness is caused by a group of guys- which includes Eren Jaeger and Armin Arlert, who happen to be standing approximating twenty feet away from me. To add to my complete breakdown, Mikasa Ackerman, queen of perfection and Eren slaying, was right there.
I had to try to suppress my squeak of fear and hide behind a pillar, just before Mikasa turned to look behind her. Leaning heavily on the pillar, I heard her footsteps stop abruptly.
"Did you guys see anything?" She asked Eren and Armin, with a hint of curiosity. I shook slightly. I'm dead. Dead, dead, dead! Mikasa will grab me by my [H/C] hair and choke me out in front of the instructor. If she at least catches a glimpse of me, I'll be having tea with my ancestors.
"Mikasa, be serious. Nobody is going to be stalking us on Valentine's Day," Eren retorted, and I can literally hear his turquoise irises roll. Wait- did he just call me a stalker?
"I don't know, Eren. This pickup line contest with the other guys can lead up into a war, they could be lurking around everywhere."
"I can handle myself. Besides, as long as we keep an eye out for [Y/N], I should be able to win this stupid thing anyway." I shiver; They're hunting me? What did I ever do to them?
Oh yeah, this morning.
Mikasa scoffed with jealousy; it's pretty obvious that she's not on board with this whole Eren-trying-to-hit-on-me deal, and it's not just him who is part of the deal. "I doubt you have a chance- [Y/N] will probably just hide the whole day and she will have nothing to judge."
Eren, being the oblivious person he is, said, "What are you jealous that [Y/N] our target instead of you? Jean can hit on you some other time."
She mumbled, "Shut up, and let's get to training." Their footsteps started again, and receded the further I waited behind the pillar. As soon as thought they were gone, I peeked out from the corner, just to make sure no one was around.
Just when I thought I was safe-
"Hey [Y/N]! You're not trying to avoid me, are you?" I froze when Jean's overconfident voice boomed from behind me. He stood there, arms crossed over his chest, wearing that same mischievous smirk he released all the time.
He took a step towards me, and I backed up until I hit the pillar that I was just hiding behind. I could practically feel his competitive aura radiate onto my skin, causing a shiver to make its way up my spine.
It wasn't until Jean got close enough that his breath reached the skin of my neck, when I suddenly felt felt my stomach churn.
His breath was minty, surprisingly, but it didn't stop my growing hatred towards him. "I'm no weather man," he said seductively. "but you can expect more than a few inches tonight."
Right then and there, I slapped him on the cheek, so hard that a red print of my hand was visible on the area past his nose. Jean hissed in pain, and backed away from me, clutching his injured cheek. I took the opportunity and sprinted down the pathway towards the courtyard, away from the him.
I slowed down as soon as I thought I was as far away from Jean as possible, almost to a drag really.
"Hey, [Y/N]!"
When I turned my head over my shoulder, Bert greeted me by running to my side. "Are you going to try like horse face over there?" His high height made it somewhat difficult to talk to him, but he was always a gentle giant at heart.
Bert shrugged, "I'm just here to walk with you to the courtyard." He shoved his hands into his pockets and walked along side me quietly.
As the courtyard came into view, he asked, "Can I share my pickup line now? Don't worry, it will probably be bad."
I frowned at his lack of self confidence, but replied, "Sure, just don't do an act like Jean."
"If beauty were a time," he took a deep intake of breath. "you would be an eternity."
For the first time today, I smiled, "That was actually pretty sweet."
Bert scratched the back of his head nervously, "Really? It took me a few hours to come up with it."
I saw the instructor beckon me towards him, and I waved to him as I ran off. "See ya', Bert! I hope I survive the day."
Once I reached my instructor, all hell broke lose within myself.
Reiner....was next to him.
And apparently he's my partner.
Of all trainees existing at the courtyard, I have to spar with this devil. Not only is he a part of this 'game' the guys are playing on me, but he kinda frightening me- to my core.
The instructor left us with his clipboard, and went to survey the other trainees. I almost wish he didn't leave.
"Hey [Y/N]," he said, before getting into a fighting stance. "You always looked good in that uniform, but it would be better on my floor."
I proceeded to punch him in the face...
...at least twenty times. Who knew my Valentine's day could be so gruesome?
Poor thing, Reiner didn't even get a chance to block a single hit, and ended up on the ground.
"Oops," I said, but it was pretty obvious that I didn't mean it. I walked away from him, and didn't even look back.
XXX
After sitting under a tree for a while, I got caught for slacking off, and eventually got a new sparring partner. To be honest, I'm not in the mood for any human interaction at the moment- I feel like I had too much of it today. But look on the bright side, I get to beat someone up, and that might make me feel better.
However, my luck continued to drop like a dumbbell.
The same familiar group I spotted earlier today happened to be standing in the spot I was assigned to. The same turquoise irises that eyed me like a hawk, but were clouded while thinking of a line to say to me.
"Eren."
"[Y/N]," he answered back, smirking. Mikasa growled and looked away from us, but Armin shrunk to the sidelines of the scene.
"Just spit out your line, I'm pretty sure I received the worst for today already."
"Okay," Eren grinned. "Wanna come to my room tonight and see my 15m class titan?"
"No."
"What?" He asked, confused.
"No, I don't want to see your 15m class titan."
"But-"
Mikasa grumbled, "Eren, you failed. Give up."
"Fine," Eren pouted. "How about you Armin?"
"Pfft, Armin isn't going to have anything good." Jean said, walking up to us. Bert was practically carrying Reiner behind him, most likely due to me.
"Agreed," Reiner managed.
"I think Armin would be totally better than you guys," I scoffed. Everyone stared at the small, blonde boy who shrunk from the attention. He looked up at all of us nervously, as if trying to figure out what to say.
"Um," he finally said. "I'll read you...like an encyclopedia."
All of us were quiet, not because of Armin's line, but because they were waiting for my response to him. However, when it came, it was nothing like they expected.
"Game over. Armin wins."
Related content
Comments: 182
see3748 [2014-02-17 09:11:43 +0000 UTC]
I would so pick Bert! His was so sweet! But you didn't add my favorite charecter ;u; it would be so out of charecter though for levi to walk up to me and say "wanna know why they call me 'lance corporal levi'?.....Because I've got a long weapon for thrusting
👍: 0 ⏩: 2
lexiesailormoon In reply to see3748 [2014-03-07 23:12:28 +0000 UTC]
dat pick up line *nosebleeds*
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Sheerpoint In reply to see3748 [2014-02-17 12:10:23 +0000 UTC]
I didn't think Levi would fit in....let alone participate in the 'game'.
That pickup line was pretty good! XD
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
ComplexPurge In reply to ??? [2014-02-17 00:58:24 +0000 UTC]
Jean's line sounded cute, intelligent and mysterious, if we bypass the suggestiveness ... pft! XD Usually I'd just pick Jean because he's my favourite character and I'm obsessed over him ... but if he actually takes meteorology lessons, then I'm interested. x3
But I really liked Armin's because it sounded so affectionate and yields good promise. Sounds like a keeper to me. -w-
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Sheerpoint In reply to ComplexPurge [2014-02-17 02:03:43 +0000 UTC]
We always pick our favorite characters.
Levi wasn't even a part of it, but I would still pick him. XD
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Sammie-chan02 [2014-02-16 20:18:39 +0000 UTC]
"I'm no weather man," he said seductively. "but you can expect more than a few inches tonight."
OMFG
I CAN'T EVEN
DAMN IT JEAN
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Sheerpoint In reply to Sammie-chan02 [2014-02-16 21:50:24 +0000 UTC]
That was my favorite line out of this whole thing.
It took me like five hours to find xD
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Loba-J [2014-02-09 05:54:42 +0000 UTC]
from start to finish, i still got a smile on my face.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Animeangel12131 In reply to ??? [2014-02-05 05:09:50 +0000 UTC]
it's a toss up between Armin, and Bert bug i will say this i guess eren ain't as inocent as most pto take some people think goodness it would have been better take pick up advise from bert atleast your own best friend i thought what happened to jean and Reiner would give him the idea that pervy pick ups gets you ok'ed oh well it was uh..inventive to say the leats X3
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Sheerpoint In reply to Animeangel12131 [2014-02-05 13:39:31 +0000 UTC]
Inventive is good, right?
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Animeangel12131 In reply to Sheerpoint [2014-02-05 22:40:03 +0000 UTC]
it's another way of saying unique and yes but i'm still shocked that pickup from eren but armin's was so damn cute i realy liked it ^W^
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
yuffie-fair [2014-02-04 23:47:19 +0000 UTC]
XD to be honest if that were me I would be like yeah yeah whatever you say and walk off not caring but id be fangirling internally
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Sheerpoint In reply to yuffie-fair [2014-02-05 13:38:50 +0000 UTC]
I'm pretty sure deep down, everyone would want to accept the pickup lines xD
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
bookworm30000 In reply to ??? [2014-02-03 02:15:47 +0000 UTC]
Bertholdts pick up line was adorable!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
WolfLover0925 In reply to ??? [2014-02-02 19:40:38 +0000 UTC]
Damn, I'd say I take Bertl and Armin!!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Sheerpoint In reply to WolfLover0925 [2014-02-02 20:39:20 +0000 UTC]
Pfft, I was blushing at Jean's line.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
WolfLover0925 In reply to Sheerpoint [2014-02-03 21:50:08 +0000 UTC]
Omg I was laughing so damn hard!!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
SoulEvans12 In reply to ??? [2014-02-02 19:02:05 +0000 UTC]
for me its a tie between Armin, and Bert
👍: 0 ⏩: 2
Sheerpoint In reply to SoulEvans12 [2014-02-02 20:39:40 +0000 UTC]
Bert was SO cute. I just wanted to squish his cheeks.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
SoulEvans12 In reply to Sheerpoint [2014-02-02 21:56:01 +0000 UTC]
Yep, well thats if we can reach.....but we always have ladders!!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
SoulEvans12 In reply to SoulEvans12 [2014-02-02 19:02:35 +0000 UTC]
The others were just trifling
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Theloneluna [2014-02-02 15:15:11 +0000 UTC]
I Bet if That Was Me I'd Just Be Shy As Hell And I'd Probably Hide In A Tree Or Hide Behind Levi Or Hide In Hanji's Room
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Sheerpoint In reply to Evee550 [2014-02-02 13:09:15 +0000 UTC]
I can imagine Armin like that.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Miichan2020 [2014-02-02 06:14:35 +0000 UTC]
Aww, this was crazy cute Have you thought of doing an alternative ending for Bertl?
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Sheerpoint In reply to Miichan2020 [2014-02-02 13:10:53 +0000 UTC]
Thank you!
Idk about the alternate ending. I did do Rivaille's part...so I think I'm going to leave this as it is, I may revisit it later in the future though.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
CrownedFact In reply to shiny-eve [2014-02-02 16:25:32 +0000 UTC]
ikr
(I keep finding you omg i need to stop.)
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Sheerpoint In reply to shiny-eve [2014-02-02 13:08:03 +0000 UTC]
All time favorite line right there.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Sheerpoint In reply to NelandNnoitralover [2014-02-01 19:35:32 +0000 UTC]
I thought the story would be funnier if Armin won thoooouuuughhhhh
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
NelandNnoitralover In reply to Sheerpoint [2014-02-02 08:31:17 +0000 UTC]
it would have been soooooooooooooo cute if Bertholdt won
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
otaku-wolfs-xD In reply to ??? [2014-02-01 19:12:34 +0000 UTC]
Aw haha I liked Bert's line more that the others but Armin is so cute im happy he won xD
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Sheerpoint In reply to otaku-wolfs-xD [2014-02-01 19:14:20 +0000 UTC]
Bert's line was probably the most normal, but Armin gets a plus for effort.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
otaku-wolfs-xD In reply to Sheerpoint [2014-02-01 21:18:23 +0000 UTC]
Haha yeah it's true X3
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
OppaFaustusStyle [2014-02-01 18:34:08 +0000 UTC]
XDDD
Aww, I really loved that!
Great job!~
But poor Reiner and Jean.... XDDD
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Sheerpoint In reply to OppaFaustusStyle [2014-02-01 18:36:34 +0000 UTC]
Pfft, Reiner and Jean had my favorite lines xD
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
OppaFaustusStyle In reply to Sheerpoint [2014-02-01 18:40:06 +0000 UTC]
I think so, too XD
The second I read Jean's pickup line, I instantly started smiling XD
Then Reiner's line made me laugh, too.... Especially with Reader-chan's reaction ^^
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Sheerpoint In reply to OppaFaustusStyle [2014-02-01 18:57:44 +0000 UTC]
I was a freaking blushing mess when I wrote it. XD
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
OppaFaustusStyle In reply to Sheerpoint [2014-02-01 19:01:10 +0000 UTC]
I can see why XD
But you did a fantastic job! (:
I always enjoy your fanfics, including that one (:
But if that really happened, I honestly would be laughing and blushing and wouldn't be able to be mad at them XDD
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Sheerpoint In reply to OppaFaustusStyle [2014-02-01 19:12:26 +0000 UTC]
Well....I had to try and make Reader-Chan react how an average person would.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
OppaFaustusStyle In reply to Sheerpoint [2014-02-01 19:27:02 +0000 UTC]
Very true ^_^
And most people probably would punch someone straight into a wall XD
I would be too busy laughing, though.
Just because I laugh at that kinda stuff when I'm embarrassed
I preferred Reader-chan's reaction in your story, though.
Because if Reader-chan just laughed... there wouldn't be much of a story XD
Also, I agree with choosing Armin ^^
Although... I thought Bert's pickup line was sweet :3
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Sheerpoint In reply to OppaFaustusStyle [2014-02-01 19:30:26 +0000 UTC]
Yeah, I had to be realistic. If we were to actually insert ourselves into the story(with knowledge of characters and everything), chances are we would accept Jean and Reiner's pickup lines. XD
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
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