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I woke up the next morning startled to find Lurex standing at the foot of my bed.
"What's going on?" I groaned and pulled the sheets up over my head.
"Everyone is buzzing about you!" Lurex cheered and smiled ear to ear. "I knew the whole hiding your face thing was a long shot. But I figured not many people would pay much attention or even bother to watch the first part of the games, sense it's not a requirement anymore and I was right! Although a few people have and where able to tell who was under the hood, but it's a small number. The great majority is still clueless! I can't wait for interviews!"
"Don't they make pamphlets with all the tributes names that they hand out?" I asked. I know because Athanasia has dragged me to a few Opening Ceremonies before.
"They didn't bother this year."
I rubbed my temples and sat up. My eyes felt heavy from lack of sleep. I had another nightmare. It was different this time, instead of reliving the rebellion like it had been for so long, it was about the games.
I was standing in the arena next to the Cornucopia. In the distance I heard Ajax scream, I tried to call to him, but no sound came out. He screamed again and I tried to run to him but my legs wouldn't move. He kept screaming and I frantically tried to help but my body just wasn't in my control.
I looked to the left of me and saw Neo, his clothes covered in blood and dirt, a sword in his hand, bruises on his face, and fear in his eyes. I tried to tell him Ajax was in trouble but it was no use. Damian appeared out of the thick woods in front of me and instantly they began to fight. All I could do was watch as their swords collided in an effort to kill one another.
Neo swung but Damian ducked and rolled behind him.  As Neo snapped around, Damian struck him right in the stomach. He smiled and pulled his sword out and I cringed at the sound of the sword leaving his chest. He stumbled backward then fell to the ground, a small pool of blood around him. I wanted to scream, to run, but I nothing worked.
Damian noticed me and started in my direction. I struggled against invisible chains holding me in place. I started to panic. He stood in front of me. I looked up at his face. He was wearing that same smirk that I hated so much. The last thing I saw was him swinging the blade of his sword right for me.
After that I woke up and couldn't seem to go back to bed again.
"You alright? You look pale," Lurex asked me. I shook my head and asked what time it was.
"Its time to get up," she said and helped me out of bed. "I thought I'd bring you some clean clothes for training today."She handed me a pair of dark brown pants and a crisp white top.
"Training?" I asked confused.
"Yes, so you can learn how to handle yourself out in the arena," she clarified, "Now go shower," she shoved me towards the bathroom and shut the door. I undressed and stood under the warm water. Not really focusing on cleaning myself, but deep in thought.
I didn't know the first thing about fighting. I didn't even know how to work a real weapon. Closet I've gotten was play fighting with a wooden sword. This wasn't going to turn out well.
Images of my dream popped back in my head, Neo lying on the ground, blood running from the wound in his chest, Ajax screaming for help in the distance. I had to try, not for me but for my friends. Neo could certainly handle himself in the arena, there was no doubt, but Ajax was so little. He couldn't defend himself well. I'd try; try my hardest to keep him safe whatever the cost.
I turned off the water, dried my hair and got dressed. Lurex was still in the room waiting for me. I didn't think much of it; I actually really enjoyed her company. She approved of my outfit and offered to do my hair for me. I sat in front of the mirror and she started brushing through it.
"I think I finally have a goal in mind. Something to focus on when I'm in the arena," I told her.
"Oh really? What is it?" she didn't seem too interested in what I was saying. Just hummed quietly to herself.
"To keep Ajax alive, if anyone deserves to live it's him."
"Ajax?" she stopped humming and scrunched up her face like she was trying to remember something, "You mentioned him earlier. Was he that boy I saw you hugging yesterday before the ceremonies? He's cute," she said and wiggled her eyebrows at me.
I shook my head and laughed, "No, that was Neo. Ajax is his little brother, the youngest one in the games."
"The seven year old? That is young. I can't believe they made him be in this! Even that other little girl who was ten, it's too young," Lurex sighed.
"Lystra craft, I know her. But I agree it isn't right."
"If I could end this I would. But then again I'm not in charge."
"The president last night, she looked….I don't know she almost looked sad about this," I said, remembering perfectly that odd expression on her face and hidden deep in her eyes.
"She's doesn't agree with this," Lurex admitted.
"Then why doesn't she stop it!" I nearly screamed.
"Well it's not like everything she wants can be done at her command. There are others who help agree on and decided everything. From what I hear she was out voted."
"Well when did they decide this?"
"When Capitol was finally overthrown. It was Coins idea. I think Paylor wanted to end it but the votes where against it."
"That's doesn't seem fair," I pouted.
"Its not, but I wouldn't know the first thing about law," she shrugged, "There, all done!"
She had French braided the front part of my hair so it was like a crown around my head. Then she had pulled the rest back into a pony tail. She smiled proudly and I thanked her and hurried off down to the dining hall.
Haymitch and Cosmo were already seated. I took the empty seat and a waiter came by and gave me a plate full of food. I used my fork to cut the corner off of my waffle, spilling a drop of syrup on my nice shirt in the process.
"You two made a good impression last night," Haymitch said. "The crowd didn't seem too happy though." Although the Opening Ceremonies turned into an all out food fight it could have been worse.
I just shrugged and continued to stuff my face with fruit, my prep team thought I was getting a little too skinny. A few months in a dark cell with food that looks like its already been eaten can do that to you. Cosmo ate quietly and focused only on his food. Haymitch picked at his meal and drank.
"So what exactly is your purpose?" I asked Haymitch, food still in my mouth, "I mean, you're supposed to mentor us but all you ever do is sit there and drink."
"I'm retired from this kid," was his answer.
"Retired?" I swallowed hard, "Can't you at least give us some advice or maybe even a tip?"
"Stay alive," he said and took a bite of egg.
"You said that already!" I whined. He looked up at me for a second then went back to his meal. I leaned back in my chair, crossed my arms, and pouted.
"Your last tributes survived the Hunger Games. So either you helped them or they were smart enough to make it without you. But then that's where I'm at a disadvantage, I don't know much about the games. I could use a good mentor."
"No one likes a whiner. Besides I'm_"
"Retired, I know," I finished for him. "But why can't you spare a few minutes for us?"
"They actually had potential so I put my faith in them."
"Can't you put your faith in us too?" I asked. He looked at Cosmo, whose hands were shaking again. Something I noticed he did whenever he was nervous. Then he looked me over and laughed.
"It's not funny," I protested.
"It is to me," he chuckled. That was it, I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't work with this…this… drunk!
"Look Mister!" I slammed my fork hard on the tabletop, a little harder than I thought. The tips were actually stuck in the wood and I couldn't seem to get it back out. But I ignore that and went back to yelling madly at our pathetic excuse of a mentor.
"Our lives depend on whatever stupid piece of advice you can give us! I honestly don't care for my life at this point. But there is a little boy involved in this! He's seven and my friend! I'm willing to protect him whatever the cost, but you won't help me! And if you're just going to sit here and waste yourself away then fine, but at least give me something! Help me help him!" I screamed.
He stared at me dumbfounded for a minute. Cosmo looked up for the first time sense I sat down and was staring at me a bit unsure. Haymitch looked like he was studying me, deep in thought, like he was taking in every detail of my face. He did the same for Cosmo, which I could tell made him feel uncomfortable. Then he asked me directly, "can you fight?" he gestured to the stuck fork.
"Not really but_" I admitted reluctantly and tried to pull the fork free from the table again.
"Can you use a sword?"
"A little bit but not really."
"Can you throw a spear? Knives? Use a bow and arrow?" he was asking me questions left and right.
"No…but_"
"Can you use any kind of weapon? At all?" he cut me off again.
"I can learn," I answered and sank deeply in my chair. I felt a little stupid, I had just given that big speech when I had nothing to offer in return. I had to prove that I could do this. I had to watch what I said or he might not help.
He turned toward Cosmo, "what about you? Can you do anything?"
Cosmo just lowered his head without speaking. Haymitch rubbed his chin and nodded, "I'll take that as a no then."
He looked back at me and sighed, "You have no potential. You'll have to do better than that."
I racked my brain for anything I might know or have. Come on, anything I had! I glanced at Cosmo for help, but of course he wasn't going to speak up.
"No? Then I guess that's it," Haymitch stood up and headed for the door, "good luck with training, you're going to need it."
"Wait!" I said, "I'm determined! I can learn fast!" I called after him but he was already making his way down the hall.
I looked around the room for anything, any idea. This was my last chance. And then I found it. In front of me sat a half drunken bottle of wine. I grabbed it and quickly run out into the hall.
"Hey!" I yelled at him. Then I threw the bottle as hard as I could. I wasn't aiming for anything in particular I just wanted to get his attention. The bottle soared down the hall and hit the wall right next to him. The glass shattered and went everywhere while the little wine that was left trickled down the wall.
He wiped around to face me. Two Guards came up behind me and grabbed hold of both my arms. Haymitch raised his hand to stop them. They let me go but didn't leave my side.
"I told you to wait," I said firmly. "I'm willing to do whatever it takes."
He just stared at me for what felt like forever. No expression on his face and I was beginning to feel self conscious. Why did he always do that?  He rubbed his temples like he was debating whether to say something.  Then slowly the corner of his mouth rose and he gave a small chuckle.
"What?!" I asked frustrated. Maybe he was too drank to know what was even going on.
"I can't believe I'm doing this but I'm scared you might smash all the wine bottles so…" he joked and his expression became serious again.
"I want you to try everything they have during training. Talk to the trainers, especially the ones who have won past Games. The old trainers have…. disappeared sense the rebellion so they got whoever was available. Talk to other tributes too; find out what they know about anything that might help you. And once you find something your good at, anything in the slightest, keep at it. We'll talk about how it went later today," I was shocked that he even answered.
"Wait, y-you're going to help me?" I asked surprised.
"Lets see how training goes and then I'll decide. Tell that Cosmo kid that same thing, if he'll even listen," Haymitch said to me, then turned on his heels and headed back to his room. He waved his hand and the two guards gripped my arms again and took me back to the dining room.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After breakfast a guard escorted Cosmo and me to the actual training rooms. They were located under the building and the elevator took us down in little time. The doors opened with a cheery ding and I gaped at all the equipment and the size of the gymnasium.
I'm not quite sure how it all works but someone pinned a piece of cloth on my back. I couldn't see what it said but I looked at the one of Cosmo's back, Capitals (6), and guess mines probably the same.
Normally the tributes are separated by the district of which they came from. But sense this year mostly everyone is from Capitol, I'm guessing they must have assigned one to all of us. Our rooms were located on the sixth floor. We were sixth in the parade line during the opening ceremonies. And now we have a 6 pinned to our back, I'm guessing we're district 6.
I noticed all the other tributes were standing in a circle around a tall woman. I heard the elevator open behind me and feel someone bump into me. I stumbled forward but caught myself.
"Hey Pierce," Damian smirked at me and joined the others in the circle. My hands clench at my side and I glare at the back of his head. I hate that guy.
I quickly joined the circle as well and stood next to Cosmo. The woman is reading down a list of all the centers and equipment they have. I don't pay much attention to her; instead I looked around and saw many swords, spears, knives and other weapons I don't know the names of. It's all so intimidating and overwhelming that I just don't think I can take it. The woman finishes reading and everyone heads off towards a station. I stood there like an idiot just looking around.
Haymitch said to try everything and get advice from the trainers and tributes themselves. I find Cosmo trying to tie knots, his hands weren't shaking anymore and he's actually having a conversation with the trainer. I wonder what got him out of his shell.
Neo is at the sword station, he's trying to swing two swords around his head but the trainer stopped him before he cut off a limb. Damian's staring at me as he throws a spear at a dummies head and it goes right through. I gulped and quickly looked away. Ajax is by himself and has somehow managed to get mud all over his clothes. Where'd he even get mud?
"Ajax, what are you doing?" I asked and decide to join him.
"Painting!" he laughs and dips his finger into a container of mud. "Just like you." he draws a smiley face on his hand and shows me.
"You're too old to get excited over mud," I say, "and I don't think your stylist will be too happy about this."
"Whatever," he laughs and dipped his fingers into some berry juice.
"The point of this station is to learn camouflage, not to finger paint" I hear the trainer laugh at Ajax the human canvas. I look up at him and freeze, Athanasia would be so jealous.
I didn't quite understand what Haymitch meant when he told me to question the trainers who had won past games, now I did. Peeta Mellark was smiling down at me and he was also the trainer for the camouflage station. It made sense; he had spent most of the games hiding in plain sight covered in mud.
"Your…your," I stuttered. I'm not quite sure how I felt about him.
On one hand he's partly responsible for the rebellion. The images and events of that will never leave my head, the pain will always be there. If it weren't for him and Katniss this might not have ever happened. I could have been at home right now playing with the kids as Mom and Dad ran the shop. Everything would be how it was, perfect and normal.
On the other hand, he was just a kid, just like me. Probably with a family, friends, and a real life. I've heard what the Capitol did to him, tortured him until he was practically insane. Bombed his home. And took away all freedom anyone in the districts had. They were just trying to protect themselves, all the rebels. Just trying to live and survive, just like I was now.
"Your Peeta," I finally managed to get out, blushing out of embarrassment.
"Last time I checked, yeah," he joked.
A million questions ran through my head. What was it like? How did you survive the games? How did you get past the pain? What's something I should worry about? But instead of asking those I said, "How did you deal with him?" I moved and sat by him.
He raised an eyebrow in confusion, "deal with who?"
"I'm sorry. Haymitch, I meant how did you deal with Haymitch? I know he was your mentor, and now he's mine and he's just got me so….." I gritted my teeth and pretended like I was strangling something.
He laughed and said, "Well I don't know if anyone can deal with Haymitch, he can be a handful but he knows what he's talking about."
"I wouldn't know he's barely cooperating." I said frustrated and then realized that I was being rude. "Oh! Sorry! Here I am babbling on and on," I gave a shy grin, "I'm Aradhana by the way, but everyone calls me Hana," I held out my hand.
He nodded and shook my hand in return. After that I explained the one bit of advice that Haymitch did give me. Peeta gladly answered all of my questions "I don't know how much help I'll be, but I'll answer whatever you want to know."
I continued to ask and he answered and even gave me a few tips, stuff like what kinda of berries you should avoid eating or finding a good place to lay low and out of sight, even trying to get allies.
I never thought about getting allies. Well I knew for sure Ajax was on my team, and Neo was sure to follow. But what about Cosmo? Would he even care or be any good? Or would he just slow us down? I glanced at him, he was now learning how to tie a snare. The trainer looked very pleased with him.  I'd have to give this more thought.
"Anything else you'd like to know?" Peeta asked. I sighed and shook my head.
"I should finish checking out the rest of the stations. I need to find something that I'm at least somewhat good at," I shrugged. "I've never actually fought before, and this is all just so overwhelming…" I looked around and hugged my arms.
"It is, isn't it?" he sounded truly sad, "I wish they'd just drop this. Just leave good enough alone.  I mean these stupid games are what started it all, I just want to be done with it," I stared at him in surprised. "I voted against this you know. I wouldn't wish this upon anyone not even my worst enemy."
I looked at his face, in his eyes. My mom said I was always good at seeing the truth in someone's eyes. I guess that's why it was easy for me to tell when Neo was lying, when Cleo was really afraid, or when my mom said "I'm fine," she really meant everything was wrong. And now I looked in Peeta's eyes and all I saw was sadness and anger. He was speaking the truth.
"Then why did you agree to help with training, if you were so against this?" I asked.
"Because Katniss agreed to it. And I figured I might as well do my best to help the new tributes. I didn't want to watch the games but I really have no choice sense they've also made me be a mentor."
"A mentor? For who?" I wondered curiously.
"Ajax and Flutter," he said and pointed at Ajax, who had run off to join his brother at another station. And then pointing at his partner, Flutter, whose long black silk hair was pulled back into a sleek pony tail. I had a keep from laughing, names like that where more common in the districts. But I'd rather have her instead on anyone else as Ajax's partner. I didn't really know her but from afar I glimpsed a few moments of them together and she really treated him sweet, and Peeta as his mentor also helped settle my nerves as well.
I thanked him for his help and decided I needed to explore more stations. I caught up with Neo and Ajax, they were standing by a rack of many impressive and terrifying weapons.
Neo regarded me with a smile then turned back to his brother, "need some help buddy?"
"n-no," Ajax's voice trembled as he struggled to pick up an ax; its blade was twice the size as his own head. He gave one great tug and the ax slowly started leaning forward. Ajax had quickly backed away just as it gained speed and toppled forward with a loud clang! The blade embed itself in the plastic mat that covered the floor of the training area.
Ajax sighed but didn't give up, instead he gripped the handle with a determined look in his eyes and started pulling again. His knuckles turned white from the strain.
"How about this one instead? It's more your size," Neo handed him a small sword, more of a dagger.  Its blade dull silver, about ten inches in length and leather wrapped around the hilt.  He gave Neo one pleading look and glanced at the ax. Neo didn't falter, he just shook his head and yanked the ax free from the floor and returned it to the rack.
"Fine," Ajax groaned and headed toward a torn and tatter dummy.
Once Ajax was out of ear shot I pulled Neo aside, wanting to talk to him in private. "What is it?" he asked.
"Well I've been thinking it over and well…"
"Well what?"
"I was thinking maybe we should be allies. You, me, and Ajax of course."
He looked at me for a second a little startled, and raised an eyebrow. "You don't like it?" I asked feeling torn.
"No, I'm just surprised that you even had to ask," he laughed. "I just assumed we already were."
I smiled in relief, my nerves settling down. He turned to head back to his brother.
"Oh, and one more thing," I said and grabbed his arm to stop him, quickly moving to stand in front of him.
"It's just that, Ajax is just so young. And I just don't think any of this is fair, for him or anyone. But if anyone deserves to win this thing, I think it should be him. I just want you to know that he's my priority," I stared at Ajax as I said this. Watching him swing his sword at the dummy and kicking it as hard as he could. It remind me of when him and Cleo use to play fight in front of the big tree while me and Neo talked, and Lydia tried her best to get Athanasia to play dolls with her. I missed the old times.
"He's mine too," Neo said, bringing me back to reality.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I spent the rest of the time trying my hardest to find anything I was good at. Of course Ajax and Neo followed me around and commented on everything I did. But I tried my best to get them out of my head and focus on what I was doing. At the moment I was trying to shot an arrow at a target a few feet away.
"Just relax," Neo said, "Breathe in and out slowly. Find your happy place," he was standing behind me. So close that I could feel him breath down my neck.
"That would be easier if you would give me some space," I elbowed him in the stomach while testing my bowstring just to prove my point. He held his hands up in surrender and backed away.
I readjusted my arrow and pulled back the string just like the trainer had showed me. She stood on the side lines watching me closely. I didn't want to slip up in front of her, especially sense archery was her specialty, I would feel plain stupid if I did.
"Make sure you're in the right stance," Neo said. I shuddered trying to keep my temper at bay. Out of the corner of my eye I could see him smiling, clearly amused by this.
"He's right actually," Katniss said and came over to assist me, "your feet need to be shoulder length apart, pointing toward the target, like this," she spread her feet out and moved into the correct stance. I moved my feet to copy her actions.
I nodded, thinking I finally get it and was ready to try. I took deep a breath and focused and the center of the target. I was just about to let the arrow fly when, "no pressure Hana. No pressure."
I lowered my bow and pivoted and my heel around, "Neo if you open your mouth again I swear I'll use you for target practice instead!"
"Fights among tributes are against the rules, remember?" he grinned, twisting my own words against me. "Besides I'm just trying to help. You listen to the trainer but not me?" he gestured to Katniss in the corner.
"That's because she actually knows what she's talking about. You're just trying to get on my nerves."
"I'm just trying to lighten the mood that's all," he shrugged.
"Just be quiet, please?" I plead. Neo was a good friend and all but he really could get on my nerves if he really wanted too. Normally I wouldn't think much of it and return with a witty comeback just playing along, it was all fun and games between us .I knew he was just teasing. But today I just wasn't in the mood for joking around. This was serious.
He pretended like he was locking his mouth with an invisible key, then crossed his arms and leaned back against the wall. The same amused look still on his face. Ajax stood next to him giggling the whole time.
I turned back around to face the target. I closed my eyes trying to calm down and clear my mind again. Then slowly, just like Katniss had showed me, I loaded the arrow. Then raised the bow and in one fluid motion using three fingers to pull the nock and bowstring back until it was positioned with my jaw. I quickly looked down to make sure my feet were spread out correctly then returned my gaze back at the target. When I was sure my aiming was right I relaxed my hand holding the bowstring back, releasing the arrow.
I went sailing up over the target and into the wall behind it.
"A little high there," Neo commented.
"Neo," I said in a warning tone.
"Yeah, it was way off," Ajax agreed.
"I just wasn't concentrating that time," I said and grabbed a second arrow from a bucket that sat next to me. I got in position and repeated the steps the trainer had taught me. I aimed again, this time a little lower, and then relaxed my hand to release the arrow. But this time instead of flying across the room and hitting the target, it dived towards the floor and landed about three feet away from me.
"I guess you weren't concentrating that time either," Neo chuckled.
I felt like yanking my hair out and screaming at the top of my lungs in frustration. Nothing, and I mean nothing I tried today was working right. I just couldn't seem to find anything I was good at. I felt like hiding in the corner and crying because of it. I just built to be a warrior.
Neo must have seen the distressed look on my face and his whole attitude softened as he came over to comfort me, "hey, it's okay Hana. I was just joking earlier."
I shook my head, "it's not that."
"Then what, training? It's just the first day, Hana. No one's perfect," easy for him to say. He had already found tons of things he was good at, like sword fighting, throwing spears and even favored the trident. He was stronger than me, probably faster too. Neo was always very competitive, in school he tried out for all the sports, always praised by the athletics teacher. Most the time I think he just did it too show off in fronts of girls or have a good excuse to go up against Damian who was also competitive in almost everything he did. Neo even wanted to become a peacekeeper when he was younger, but his mother disapproved.
"You don't get it," I said, "If I don't find something Haymitch isn't going to help me. And I'll only slow us down in the arena, I probably won't last long anyway. And Ajax needs all the protection he can get," a lump formed in my throat and the back of my eyes stung from trying to hold back tears. I wasn't going to cry. This was nothing to cry about!
"I think you need to calm down, you've been so stressed this whole time. You'll work yourself to death before the others get a hold on you."
"Aren't you stressed?"
"Yes," he admitted, "But I'm trying to make it seem like no big deal, you know for_" he jerked his head toward Ajax who was being instructed by Katniss on how to hold the bow correctly.
"It's just, I don't want the same thing to happen to him like…"
"Lydia and Cleo," Neo finished for me. I nodded but didn't want to talk about it any further. I put the bow back where I had found it and picked up the arrow I had shot last and returned it back to the bucket.
"It wasn't your fault," Neo whispered in my ear from behind me, startling me and making my heart jump.
"I should have stayed with them. I should have_"
"There was nothing you could have done," Neo tried reassuring me but it wasn't working, "The explosion at the president's mansion wasn't your fault. That was a capitol air craft, yes, but it was their fault, not yours."
"That wasn't capitols fault either," Katniss joined in, Neo and I looked at her in shock.
"What do you mean? How would you even know?" I asked.
"Because I was there when it happened," images flashed in the head of that day. The first explosion going off and me running toward it along with rebel medics. Spotting another girl just ahead of me, a little too close when the second explosion happened. I could see edvidence of that day on her. Pieces of skin patched on her arms and up her neck that didn't seem like they fit right.
"That was a capitol air craft, but under rebel orders," there was something in the way she said that, like it was the worst betrayal or the worst pain you could ever imagine.
"So it was the rebels fault," feeling hollow inside as I said that. So it was their fault, their fault! I felt so confused and overwhelmed at once I just couldn't think straight. Some many thoughts and emotions running through me. But why was I even surprised? After everything they've done. But I felt just as bad for everything we've done…. So who was I to blame for this?
"Hana?" Ajax broke through the silence. He was holding an arrow in his hand, his face sad and a little confused. I realized he still didn't know so such, about his mother or his best friend.
"Ajax maybe you should…" Neo cut in, realizing that he must have heard us all talking but didn't know how much he heard.
"No," he said firmly shaking his head.
"Ajax honey, Cleo and Lydia_" I said trying to explain everything.
"I'm not in the mood to hear it right now," he said, his voice shaking a bit. Stepping back from me looking as if I'd just said the world was ending. For him it probably was. He did everything with Cleo, they were like brothers.
"Okay."
"But I do have an idea," he added "want to hear it?"
"Sure honey, what is it?" I said feeling relived for a change of subject. His face brightened up slightly.
"What if you used the arrows like they were big darts," he suggested holding the arrow out to me.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"Your really good at throwing darts, these are sort of the same just a bit bigger."
I was good at darts, but I didn't know how that knowledge would help. At the shop we use to have a red and white target hanging on the wall that never sold. I use to watch Dad throw darts at it when he got bored, sometimes we'd even make it into a challenge to see who could throw better. It first I sucked, badly. But as time went on I started doing it every day. Especially when I was left in charge of the cash register I got pretty good.
I had a good view of the target from where I sat behind the counter and it was the perfect throwing distance. I'd spend most my time throwing them at the target and with more practice I got better. But after awhile I started losing interest, I only really did it too show off or an easy way to win bet money from my friends before they realized just how good I was.
"I can't just go around throwing arrows at people, I'll look silly," I said imagining me hiding in the tree bombarding a group of tributes with arrows.
"Maybe you could use a spear instead," Neo had gone over to one the many racks of weapons, grabbed a spear and handed it to me.
"I'm not good with throwing spears," I said skeptically but took it from him anyway. It felt heavy in my hands, almost foreign.
"Its like what Ajax said, just think of it as a really big dart," Neo suggest and moved out of my way so I could face the target.
I raised the spear holding it in one hand and again tried my best to aim for the center of the target. It didn't balance well in my hands and just didn't feel right period. But I throw it as hard as I could, watching it soar but flying over the target and clattering to the floor, I didn't even throw it hard enough to stick in the wall.
"I don't think this is going to work," I said disappointed, "but it was a good thought."
"Wait!" Ajax called from across the room over at the rack. He came running back with a roll of leather in his hands, "What about these?"
He kneed on the ground, set the leather down and unrolled it to show off a large array of knives. Many of they looked old and well used, others looking brand new. Some had wider blades, maybe for hunting and others where needle thin.
"These might work," I said kneeling down next to him and running my fingers lightly over them. I'd never tried throwing knives before but these looked like the right size and would probably be easier for me to throw.
I picked one out, a thicker blade that had nicks in it and was probably five inches in length. This one felt good in my hands, not to heavy but still had some weight to it. I stood up and carefully aimed at the target. I raised the knife holding it by the tip of its shape blade and threw it.
It cut through the air in somersaults toward the target. I gritted my teeth watching it go, then thunk! It hit the target. It actually hit the target! I jumped up and down in joy squealing and waving my hands in the air. A few other tributes and trainers were giving me odd looks but I didn't care.  I ran over to retrieve the knife, it had hit just above the bulls eye, just centimeters away from it.
"I think you just found something your good at," Neo smiled at me. And I couldn't help but smile back.

Description
I woke up the next morning startled to find Lurex standing at the foot of my bed.
"What's going on?" I groaned and pulled the sheets up over my head.
"Everyone is buzzing about you!" Lurex cheered and smiled ear to ear. "I knew the whole hiding your face thing was a long shot. But I figured not many people would pay much attention or even bother to watch the first part of the games, sense it's not a requirement anymore and I was right! Although a few people have and where able to tell who was under the hood, but it's a small number. The great majority is still clueless! I can't wait for interviews!"
"Don't they make pamphlets with all the tributes names that they hand out?" I asked. I know because Athanasia has dragged me to a few Opening Ceremonies before.
"They didn't bother this year."
I rubbed my temples and sat up. My eyes felt heavy from lack of sleep. I had another nightmare. It was different this time, instead of reliving the rebellion like it had been for so long, it was about the games.
I was standing in the arena next to the Cornucopia. In the distance I heard Ajax scream, I tried to call to him, but no sound came out. He screamed again and I tried to run to him but my legs wouldn't move. He kept screaming and I frantically tried to help but my body just wasn't in my control.
I looked to the left of me and saw Neo, his clothes covered in blood and dirt, a sword in his hand, bruises on his face, and fear in his eyes. I tried to tell him Ajax was in trouble but it was no use. Damian appeared out of the thick woods in front of me and instantly they began to fight. All I could do was watch as their swords collided in an effort to kill one another.
Neo swung but Damian ducked and rolled behind him.  As Neo snapped around, Damian struck him right in the stomach. He smiled and pulled his sword out and I cringed at the sound of the sword leaving his chest. He stumbled backward then fell to the ground, a small pool of blood around him. I wanted to scream, to run, but I nothing worked.
Damian noticed me and started in my direction. I struggled against invisible chains holding me in place. I started to panic. He stood in front of me. I looked up at his face. He was wearing that same smirk that I hated so much. The last thing I saw was him swinging the blade of his sword right for me.
After that I woke up and couldn't seem to go back to bed again.
"You alright? You look pale," Lurex asked me. I shook my head and asked what time it was.
"Its time to get up," she said and helped me out of bed. "I thought I'd bring you some clean clothes for training today."She handed me a pair of dark brown pants and a crisp white top.
"Training?" I asked confused.
"Yes, so you can learn how to handle yourself out in the arena," she clarified, "Now go shower," she shoved me towards the bathroom and shut the door. I undressed and stood under the warm water. Not really focusing on cleaning myself, but deep in thought.
I didn't know the first thing about fighting. I didn't even know how to work a real weapon. Closet I've gotten was play fighting with a wooden sword. This wasn't going to turn out well.
Images of my dream popped back in my head, Neo lying on the ground, blood running from the wound in his chest, Ajax screaming for help in the distance. I had to try, not for me but for my friends. Neo could certainly handle himself in the arena, there was no doubt, but Ajax was so little. He couldn't defend himself well. I'd try; try my hardest to keep him safe whatever the cost.
I turned off the water, dried my hair and got dressed. Lurex was still in the room waiting for me. I didn't think much of it; I actually really enjoyed her company. She approved of my outfit and offered to do my hair for me. I sat in front of the mirror and she started brushing through it.
"I think I finally have a goal in mind. Something to focus on when I'm in the arena," I told her.
"Oh really? What is it?" she didn't seem too interested in what I was saying. Just hummed quietly to herself.
"To keep Ajax alive, if anyone deserves to live it's him."
"Ajax?" she stopped humming and scrunched up her face like she was trying to remember something, "You mentioned him earlier. Was he that boy I saw you hugging yesterday before the ceremonies? He's cute," she said and wiggled her eyebrows at me.
I shook my head and laughed, "No, that was Neo. Ajax is his little brother, the youngest one in the games."
"The seven year old? That is young. I can't believe they made him be in this! Even that other little girl who was ten, it's too young," Lurex sighed.
"Lystra craft, I know her. But I agree it isn't right."
"If I could end this I would. But then again I'm not in charge."
"The president last night, she looked….I don't know she almost looked sad about this," I said, remembering perfectly that odd expression on her face and hidden deep in her eyes.
"She's doesn't agree with this," Lurex admitted.
"Then why doesn't she stop it!" I nearly screamed.
"Well it's not like everything she wants can be done at her command. There are others who help agree on and decided everything. From what I hear she was out voted."
"Well when did they decide this?"
"When Capitol was finally overthrown. It was Coins idea. I think Paylor wanted to end it but the votes where against it."
"That's doesn't seem fair," I pouted.
"Its not, but I wouldn't know the first thing about law," she shrugged, "There, all done!"
She had French braided the front part of my hair so it was like a crown around my head. Then she had pulled the rest back into a pony tail. She smiled proudly and I thanked her and hurried off down to the dining hall.
Haymitch and Cosmo were already seated. I took the empty seat and a waiter came by and gave me a plate full of food. I used my fork to cut the corner off of my waffle, spilling a drop of syrup on my nice shirt in the process.
"You two made a good impression last night," Haymitch said. "The crowd didn't seem too happy though." Although the Opening Ceremonies turned into an all out food fight it could have been worse.
I just shrugged and continued to stuff my face with fruit, my prep team thought I was getting a little too skinny. A few months in a dark cell with food that looks like its already been eaten can do that to you. Cosmo ate quietly and focused only on his food. Haymitch picked at his meal and drank.
"So what exactly is your purpose?" I asked Haymitch, food still in my mouth, "I mean, you're supposed to mentor us but all you ever do is sit there and drink."
"I'm retired from this kid," was his answer.
"Retired?" I swallowed hard, "Can't you at least give us some advice or maybe even a tip?"
"Stay alive," he said and took a bite of egg.
"You said that already!" I whined. He looked up at me for a second then went back to his meal. I leaned back in my chair, crossed my arms, and pouted.
"Your last tributes survived the Hunger Games. So either you helped them or they were smart enough to make it without you. But then that's where I'm at a disadvantage, I don't know much about the games. I could use a good mentor."
"No one likes a whiner. Besides I'm_"
"Retired, I know," I finished for him. "But why can't you spare a few minutes for us?"
"They actually had potential so I put my faith in them."
"Can't you put your faith in us too?" I asked. He looked at Cosmo, whose hands were shaking again. Something I noticed he did whenever he was nervous. Then he looked me over and laughed.
"It's not funny," I protested.
"It is to me," he chuckled. That was it, I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't work with this…this… drunk!
"Look Mister!" I slammed my fork hard on the tabletop, a little harder than I thought. The tips were actually stuck in the wood and I couldn't seem to get it back out. But I ignore that and went back to yelling madly at our pathetic excuse of a mentor.
"Our lives depend on whatever stupid piece of advice you can give us! I honestly don't care for my life at this point. But there is a little boy involved in this! He's seven and my friend! I'm willing to protect him whatever the cost, but you won't help me! And if you're just going to sit here and waste yourself away then fine, but at least give me something! Help me help him!" I screamed.
He stared at me dumbfounded for a minute. Cosmo looked up for the first time sense I sat down and was staring at me a bit unsure. Haymitch looked like he was studying me, deep in thought, like he was taking in every detail of my face. He did the same for Cosmo, which I could tell made him feel uncomfortable. Then he asked me directly, "can you fight?" he gestured to the stuck fork.
"Not really but_" I admitted reluctantly and tried to pull the fork free from the table again.
"Can you use a sword?"
"A little bit but not really."
"Can you throw a spear? Knives? Use a bow and arrow?" he was asking me questions left and right.
"No…but_"
"Can you use any kind of weapon? At all?" he cut me off again.
"I can learn," I answered and sank deeply in my chair. I felt a little stupid, I had just given that big speech when I had nothing to offer in return. I had to prove that I could do this. I had to watch what I said or he might not help.
He turned toward Cosmo, "what about you? Can you do anything?"
Cosmo just lowered his head without speaking. Haymitch rubbed his chin and nodded, "I'll take that as a no then."
He looked back at me and sighed, "You have no potential. You'll have to do better than that."
I racked my brain for anything I might know or have. Come on, anything I had! I glanced at Cosmo for help, but of course he wasn't going to speak up.
"No? Then I guess that's it," Haymitch stood up and headed for the door, "good luck with training, you're going to need it."
"Wait!" I said, "I'm determined! I can learn fast!" I called after him but he was already making his way down the hall.
I looked around the room for anything, any idea. This was my last chance. And then I found it. In front of me sat a half drunken bottle of wine. I grabbed it and quickly run out into the hall.
"Hey!" I yelled at him. Then I threw the bottle as hard as I could. I wasn't aiming for anything in particular I just wanted to get his attention. The bottle soared down the hall and hit the wall right next to him. The glass shattered and went everywhere while the little wine that was left trickled down the wall.
He wiped around to face me. Two Guards came up behind me and grabbed hold of both my arms. Haymitch raised his hand to stop them. They let me go but didn't leave my side.
"I told you to wait," I said firmly. "I'm willing to do whatever it takes."
He just stared at me for what felt like forever. No expression on his face and I was beginning to feel self conscious. Why did he always do that?  He rubbed his temples like he was debating whether to say something.  Then slowly the corner of his mouth rose and he gave a small chuckle.
"What?!" I asked frustrated. Maybe he was too drank to know what was even going on.
"I can't believe I'm doing this but I'm scared you might smash all the wine bottles so…" he joked and his expression became serious again.
"I want you to try everything they have during training. Talk to the trainers, especially the ones who have won past Games. The old trainers have…. disappeared sense the rebellion so they got whoever was available. Talk to other tributes too; find out what they know about anything that might help you. And once you find something your good at, anything in the slightest, keep at it. We'll talk about how it went later today," I was shocked that he even answered.
"Wait, y-you're going to help me?" I asked surprised.
"Lets see how training goes and then I'll decide. Tell that Cosmo kid that same thing, if he'll even listen," Haymitch said to me, then turned on his heels and headed back to his room. He waved his hand and the two guards gripped my arms again and took me back to the dining room.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After breakfast a guard escorted Cosmo and me to the actual training rooms. They were located under the building and the elevator took us down in little time. The doors opened with a cheery ding and I gaped at all the equipment and the size of the gymnasium.
I'm not quite sure how it all works but someone pinned a piece of cloth on my back. I couldn't see what it said but I looked at the one of Cosmo's back, Capitals (6), and guess mines probably the same.
Normally the tributes are separated by the district of which they came from. But sense this year mostly everyone is from Capitol, I'm guessing they must have assigned one to all of us. Our rooms were located on the sixth floor. We were sixth in the parade line during the opening ceremonies. And now we have a 6 pinned to our back, I'm guessing we're district 6.
I noticed all the other tributes were standing in a circle around a tall woman. I heard the elevator open behind me and feel someone bump into me. I stumbled forward but caught myself.
"Hey Pierce," Damian smirked at me and joined the others in the circle. My hands clench at my side and I glare at the back of his head. I hate that guy.
I quickly joined the circle as well and stood next to Cosmo. The woman is reading down a list of all the centers and equipment they have. I don't pay much attention to her; instead I looked around and saw many swords, spears, knives and other weapons I don't know the names of. It's all so intimidating and overwhelming that I just don't think I can take it. The woman finishes reading and everyone heads off towards a station. I stood there like an idiot just looking around.
Haymitch said to try everything and get advice from the trainers and tributes themselves. I find Cosmo trying to tie knots, his hands weren't shaking anymore and he's actually having a conversation with the trainer. I wonder what got him out of his shell.
Neo is at the sword station, he's trying to swing two swords around his head but the trainer stopped him before he cut off a limb. Damian's staring at me as he throws a spear at a dummies head and it goes right through. I gulped and quickly looked away. Ajax is by himself and has somehow managed to get mud all over his clothes. Where'd he even get mud?
"Ajax, what are you doing?" I asked and decide to join him.
"Painting!" he laughs and dips his finger into a container of mud. "Just like you." he draws a smiley face on his hand and shows me.
"You're too old to get excited over mud," I say, "and I don't think your stylist will be too happy about this."
"Whatever," he laughs and dipped his fingers into some berry juice.
"The point of this station is to learn camouflage, not to finger paint" I hear the trainer laugh at Ajax the human canvas. I look up at him and freeze, Athanasia would be so jealous.
I didn't quite understand what Haymitch meant when he told me to question the trainers who had won past games, now I did. Peeta Mellark was smiling down at me and he was also the trainer for the camouflage station. It made sense; he had spent most of the games hiding in plain sight covered in mud.
"Your…your," I stuttered. I'm not quite sure how I felt about him.
On one hand he's partly responsible for the rebellion. The images and events of that will never leave my head, the pain will always be there. If it weren't for him and Katniss this might not have ever happened. I could have been at home right now playing with the kids as Mom and Dad ran the shop. Everything would be how it was, perfect and normal.
On the other hand, he was just a kid, just like me. Probably with a family, friends, and a real life. I've heard what the Capitol did to him, tortured him until he was practically insane. Bombed his home. And took away all freedom anyone in the districts had. They were just trying to protect themselves, all the rebels. Just trying to live and survive, just like I was now.
"Your Peeta," I finally managed to get out, blushing out of embarrassment.
"Last time I checked, yeah," he joked.
A million questions ran through my head. What was it like? How did you survive the games? How did you get past the pain? What's something I should worry about? But instead of asking those I said, "How did you deal with him?" I moved and sat by him.
He raised an eyebrow in confusion, "deal with who?"
"I'm sorry. Haymitch, I meant how did you deal with Haymitch? I know he was your mentor, and now he's mine and he's just got me so….." I gritted my teeth and pretended like I was strangling something.
He laughed and said, "Well I don't know if anyone can deal with Haymitch, he can be a handful but he knows what he's talking about."
"I wouldn't know he's barely cooperating." I said frustrated and then realized that I was being rude. "Oh! Sorry! Here I am babbling on and on," I gave a shy grin, "I'm Aradhana by the way, but everyone calls me Hana," I held out my hand.
He nodded and shook my hand in return. After that I explained the one bit of advice that Haymitch did give me. Peeta gladly answered all of my questions "I don't know how much help I'll be, but I'll answer whatever you want to know."
I continued to ask and he answered and even gave me a few tips, stuff like what kinda of berries you should avoid eating or finding a good place to lay low and out of sight, even trying to get allies.
I never thought about getting allies. Well I knew for sure Ajax was on my team, and Neo was sure to follow. But what about Cosmo? Would he even care or be any good? Or would he just slow us down? I glanced at him, he was now learning how to tie a snare. The trainer looked very pleased with him.  I'd have to give this more thought.
"Anything else you'd like to know?" Peeta asked. I sighed and shook my head.
"I should finish checking out the rest of the stations. I need to find something that I'm at least somewhat good at," I shrugged. "I've never actually fought before, and this is all just so overwhelming…" I looked around and hugged my arms.
"It is, isn't it?" he sounded truly sad, "I wish they'd just drop this. Just leave good enough alone.  I mean these stupid games are what started it all, I just want to be done with it," I stared at him in surprised. "I voted against this you know. I wouldn't wish this upon anyone not even my worst enemy."
I looked at his face, in his eyes. My mom said I was always good at seeing the truth in someone's eyes. I guess that's why it was easy for me to tell when Neo was lying, when Cleo was really afraid, or when my mom said "I'm fine," she really meant everything was wrong. And now I looked in Peeta's eyes and all I saw was sadness and anger. He was speaking the truth.
"Then why did you agree to help with training, if you were so against this?" I asked.
"Because Katniss agreed to it. And I figured I might as well do my best to help the new tributes. I didn't want to watch the games but I really have no choice sense they've also made me be a mentor."
"A mentor? For who?" I wondered curiously.
"Ajax and Flutter," he said and pointed at Ajax, who had run off to join his brother at another station. And then pointing at his partner, Flutter, whose long black silk hair was pulled back into a sleek pony tail. I had a keep from laughing, names like that where more common in the districts. But I'd rather have her instead on anyone else as Ajax's partner. I didn't really know her but from afar I glimpsed a few moments of them together and she really treated him sweet, and Peeta as his mentor also helped settle my nerves as well.
I thanked him for his help and decided I needed to explore more stations. I caught up with Neo and Ajax, they were standing by a rack of many impressive and terrifying weapons.
Neo regarded me with a smile then turned back to his brother, "need some help buddy?"
"n-no," Ajax's voice trembled as he struggled to pick up an ax; its blade was twice the size as his own head. He gave one great tug and the ax slowly started leaning forward. Ajax had quickly backed away just as it gained speed and toppled forward with a loud clang! The blade embed itself in the plastic mat that covered the floor of the training area.
Ajax sighed but didn't give up, instead he gripped the handle with a determined look in his eyes and started pulling again. His knuckles turned white from the strain.
"How about this one instead? It's more your size," Neo handed him a small sword, more of a dagger.  Its blade dull silver, about ten inches in length and leather wrapped around the hilt.  He gave Neo one pleading look and glanced at the ax. Neo didn't falter, he just shook his head and yanked the ax free from the floor and returned it to the rack.
"Fine," Ajax groaned and headed toward a torn and tatter dummy.
Once Ajax was out of ear shot I pulled Neo aside, wanting to talk to him in private. "What is it?" he asked.
"Well I've been thinking it over and well…"
"Well what?"
"I was thinking maybe we should be allies. You, me, and Ajax of course."
He looked at me for a second a little startled, and raised an eyebrow. "You don't like it?" I asked feeling torn.
"No, I'm just surprised that you even had to ask," he laughed. "I just assumed we already were."
I smiled in relief, my nerves settling down. He turned to head back to his brother.
"Oh, and one more thing," I said and grabbed his arm to stop him, quickly moving to stand in front of him.
"It's just that, Ajax is just so young. And I just don't think any of this is fair, for him or anyone. But if anyone deserves to win this thing, I think it should be him. I just want you to know that he's my priority," I stared at Ajax as I said this. Watching him swing his sword at the dummy and kicking it as hard as he could. It remind me of when him and Cleo use to play fight in front of the big tree while me and Neo talked, and Lydia tried her best to get Athanasia to play dolls with her. I missed the old times.
"He's mine too," Neo said, bringing me back to reality.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I spent the rest of the time trying my hardest to find anything I was good at. Of course Ajax and Neo followed me around and commented on everything I did. But I tried my best to get them out of my head and focus on what I was doing. At the moment I was trying to shot an arrow at a target a few feet away.
"Just relax," Neo said, "Breathe in and out slowly. Find your happy place," he was standing behind me. So close that I could feel him breath down my neck.
"That would be easier if you would give me some space," I elbowed him in the stomach while testing my bowstring just to prove my point. He held his hands up in surrender and backed away.
I readjusted my arrow and pulled back the string just like the trainer had showed me. She stood on the side lines watching me closely. I didn't want to slip up in front of her, especially sense archery was her specialty, I would feel plain stupid if I did.
"Make sure you're in the right stance," Neo said. I shuddered trying to keep my temper at bay. Out of the corner of my eye I could see him smiling, clearly amused by this.
"He's right actually," Katniss said and came over to assist me, "your feet need to be shoulder length apart, pointing toward the target, like this," she spread her feet out and moved into the correct stance. I moved my feet to copy her actions.
I nodded, thinking I finally get it and was ready to try. I took deep a breath and focused and the center of the target. I was just about to let the arrow fly when, "no pressure Hana. No pressure."
I lowered my bow and pivoted and my heel around, "Neo if you open your mouth again I swear I'll use you for target practice instead!"
"Fights among tributes are against the rules, remember?" he grinned, twisting my own words against me. "Besides I'm just trying to help. You listen to the trainer but not me?" he gestured to Katniss in the corner.
"That's because she actually knows what she's talking about. You're just trying to get on my nerves."
"I'm just trying to lighten the mood that's all," he shrugged.
"Just be quiet, please?" I plead. Neo was a good friend and all but he really could get on my nerves if he really wanted too. Normally I wouldn't think much of it and return with a witty comeback just playing along, it was all fun and games between us .I knew he was just teasing. But today I just wasn't in the mood for joking around. This was serious.
He pretended like he was locking his mouth with an invisible key, then crossed his arms and leaned back against the wall. The same amused look still on his face. Ajax stood next to him giggling the whole time.
I turned back around to face the target. I closed my eyes trying to calm down and clear my mind again. Then slowly, just like Katniss had showed me, I loaded the arrow. Then raised the bow and in one fluid motion using three fingers to pull the nock and bowstring back until it was positioned with my jaw. I quickly looked down to make sure my feet were spread out correctly then returned my gaze back at the target. When I was sure my aiming was right I relaxed my hand holding the bowstring back, releasing the arrow.
I went sailing up over the target and into the wall behind it.
"A little high there," Neo commented.
"Neo," I said in a warning tone.
"Yeah, it was way off," Ajax agreed.
"I just wasn't concentrating that time," I said and grabbed a second arrow from a bucket that sat next to me. I got in position and repeated the steps the trainer had taught me. I aimed again, this time a little lower, and then relaxed my hand to release the arrow. But this time instead of flying across the room and hitting the target, it dived towards the floor and landed about three feet away from me.
"I guess you weren't concentrating that time either," Neo chuckled.
I felt like yanking my hair out and screaming at the top of my lungs in frustration. Nothing, and I mean nothing I tried today was working right. I just couldn't seem to find anything I was good at. I felt like hiding in the corner and crying because of it. I just built to be a warrior.
Neo must have seen the distressed look on my face and his whole attitude softened as he came over to comfort me, "hey, it's okay Hana. I was just joking earlier."
I shook my head, "it's not that."
"Then what, training? It's just the first day, Hana. No one's perfect," easy for him to say. He had already found tons of things he was good at, like sword fighting, throwing spears and even favored the trident. He was stronger than me, probably faster too. Neo was always very competitive, in school he tried out for all the sports, always praised by the athletics teacher. Most the time I think he just did it too show off in fronts of girls or have a good excuse to go up against Damian who was also competitive in almost everything he did. Neo even wanted to become a peacekeeper when he was younger, but his mother disapproved.
"You don't get it," I said, "If I don't find something Haymitch isn't going to help me. And I'll only slow us down in the arena, I probably won't last long anyway. And Ajax needs all the protection he can get," a lump formed in my throat and the back of my eyes stung from trying to hold back tears. I wasn't going to cry. This was nothing to cry about!
"I think you need to calm down, you've been so stressed this whole time. You'll work yourself to death before the others get a hold on you."
"Aren't you stressed?"
"Yes," he admitted, "But I'm trying to make it seem like no big deal, you know for_" he jerked his head toward Ajax who was being instructed by Katniss on how to hold the bow correctly.
"It's just, I don't want the same thing to happen to him like…"
"Lydia and Cleo," Neo finished for me. I nodded but didn't want to talk about it any further. I put the bow back where I had found it and picked up the arrow I had shot last and returned it back to the bucket.
"It wasn't your fault," Neo whispered in my ear from behind me, startling me and making my heart jump.
"I should have stayed with them. I should have_"
"There was nothing you could have done," Neo tried reassuring me but it wasn't working, "The explosion at the president's mansion wasn't your fault. That was a capitol air craft, yes, but it was their fault, not yours."
"That wasn't capitols fault either," Katniss joined in, Neo and I looked at her in shock.
"What do you mean? How would you even know?" I asked.
"Because I was there when it happened," images flashed in the head of that day. The first explosion going off and me running toward it along with rebel medics. Spotting another girl just ahead of me, a little too close when the second explosion happened. I could see edvidence of that day on her. Pieces of skin patched on her arms and up her neck that didn't seem like they fit right.
"That was a capitol air craft, but under rebel orders," there was something in the way she said that, like it was the worst betrayal or the worst pain you could ever imagine.
"So it was the rebels fault," feeling hollow inside as I said that. So it was their fault, their fault! I felt so confused and overwhelmed at once I just couldn't think straight. Some many thoughts and emotions running through me. But why was I even surprised? After everything they've done. But I felt just as bad for everything we've done…. So who was I to blame for this?
"Hana?" Ajax broke through the silence. He was holding an arrow in his hand, his face sad and a little confused. I realized he still didn't know so such, about his mother or his best friend.
"Ajax maybe you should…" Neo cut in, realizing that he must have heard us all talking but didn't know how much he heard.
"No," he said firmly shaking his head.
"Ajax honey, Cleo and Lydia_" I said trying to explain everything.
"I'm not in the mood to hear it right now," he said, his voice shaking a bit. Stepping back from me looking as if I'd just said the world was ending. For him it probably was. He did everything with Cleo, they were like brothers.
"Okay."
"But I do have an idea," he added "want to hear it?"
"Sure honey, what is it?" I said feeling relived for a change of subject. His face brightened up slightly.
"What if you used the arrows like they were big darts," he suggested holding the arrow out to me.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"Your really good at throwing darts, these are sort of the same just a bit bigger."
I was good at darts, but I didn't know how that knowledge would help. At the shop we use to have a red and white target hanging on the wall that never sold. I use to watch Dad throw darts at it when he got bored, sometimes we'd even make it into a challenge to see who could throw better. It first I sucked, badly. But as time went on I started doing it every day. Especially when I was left in charge of the cash register I got pretty good.
I had a good view of the target from where I sat behind the counter and it was the perfect throwing distance. I'd spend most my time throwing them at the target and with more practice I got better. But after awhile I started losing interest, I only really did it too show off or an easy way to win bet money from my friends before they realized just how good I was.
"I can't just go around throwing arrows at people, I'll look silly," I said imagining me hiding in the tree bombarding a group of tributes with arrows.
"Maybe you could use a spear instead," Neo had gone over to one the many racks of weapons, grabbed a spear and handed it to me.
"I'm not good with throwing spears," I said skeptically but took it from him anyway. It felt heavy in my hands, almost foreign.
"Its like what Ajax said, just think of it as a really big dart," Neo suggest and moved out of my way so I could face the target.
I raised the spear holding it in one hand and again tried my best to aim for the center of the target. It didn't balance well in my hands and just didn't feel right period. But I throw it as hard as I could, watching it soar but flying over the target and clattering to the floor, I didn't even throw it hard enough to stick in the wall.
"I don't think this is going to work," I said disappointed, "but it was a good thought."
"Wait!" Ajax called from across the room over at the rack. He came running back with a roll of leather in his hands, "What about these?"
He kneed on the ground, set the leather down and unrolled it to show off a large array of knives. Many of they looked old and well used, others looking brand new. Some had wider blades, maybe for hunting and others where needle thin.
"These might work," I said kneeling down next to him and running my fingers lightly over them. I'd never tried throwing knives before but these looked like the right size and would probably be easier for me to throw.
I picked one out, a thicker blade that had nicks in it and was probably five inches in length. This one felt good in my hands, not to heavy but still had some weight to it. I stood up and carefully aimed at the target. I raised the knife holding it by the tip of its shape blade and threw it.
It cut through the air in somersaults toward the target. I gritted my teeth watching it go, then thunk! It hit the target. It actually hit the target! I jumped up and down in joy squealing and waving my hands in the air. A few other tributes and trainers were giving me odd looks but I didn't care.  I ran over to retrieve the knife, it had hit just above the bulls eye, just centimeters away from it.
"I think you just found something your good at," Neo smiled at me. And I couldn't help but smile back.